


Yuyan's Hymn

by mayo_the_edgelord



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Childhood Trauma, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Like LOTS of angst, Multi, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, Yuyan archers - Freeform, Zuko is bad at feelings, and he needs a nap, but first he's going on a quest, characters like to use the f word a lot, graphic description of violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:33:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 92,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24258223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayo_the_edgelord/pseuds/mayo_the_edgelord
Summary: In a world where the Avatar was never reborn and war cast its shadow over the four Nations, Prince Zuko's punishment is not to be exiled, but to enlist in one of the most truculent military programs. The Yuyan archers.When he's forced to stare the truest horrors of war right in the face, will he take a stand against what he was taught from birth, or will he fall into the footsteps of his ancestors?(My own angsty and twisted version of Yuyan!Zuko)
Relationships: Azula & Zuko (Avatar), Ozai & Zuko (Avatar), Zuko (Avatar) & Original Character(s), Zuko (Avatar) & The Yuyan Archers
Comments: 138
Kudos: 231





	1. Welcome to Pohuai

**Author's Note:**

> A few things you need to know:  
> 1) The main idea of Zuko joining the Yuyan came to me from reading the first part of The Dragon of the Yuyan by 00AwkwardPenguin00 (I refrained from reading the rest of them as long as I'm writing this but the first part is on my recent bookmarks, I seriously recommend it) and then doing excessive stalking of MuffinLance's Tumblr page. The themes and plot points I will be exploring in this story are vastly different, though I still want to give the credit for the original concept where it's due.
> 
> 2) I aged Zuko up because it didn't sit right with me to rain holy hell upon a thirteen-year-old boy. Consider this a warning for what's to come.
> 
> 3) Never hesitate to give me criticism and leave comments, I simply love reading through them, especially if they help me improve.

Zuko felt three things while packing his bags.

The first and perhaps most prominent feeling was anger.

There were a lot of reasons and things to be angry about right now. There was his small backpack that couldn't fit all of the things Zuko so aggressively tried to shove into it, only to end up grabbing it by the handle and hitting it on top of his mattress furiously.

There was also this irritating sting on the left side of his face every time he so much as widened his eye. Burns tend to sear the skin, making even the slightest stretch of the muscles underneath hurt like the moment you first got it. That angered Zuko, though he knew he had to get used to it. The wound was still fresh, he had plenty of time to do so.

Zuko was also angry at people. He was angry at Mai for gasping when she laid eyes on him earlier this morning. He couldn't blame her, he must have been quite the shocking spectacle without the bandages. That didn't stop him from being angry and bait her into an argument that ended with her bolting out of his room and slamming the door. It's not that Mai didn't realize he was looking for a fight. It was just that maybe this time he deserved it. Zuko knew this too and it made him even angrier.

He was angry at almost every servant that he'd seen that particular morning. For some reason Zuko didn't comprehend, it seemed to him as though every living being in the Palace sought to aggravate him that day. And so he lashed out, either by shouting at the top of his lungs as he did with Mai or by setting random objects on fire and then throwing them out of his window, straight into the palace's ponds. It's not like he's going to need his silk bed sheets any time soon, right?

Most of all, Zuko was angry at himself. Angry that he decided to attend this damned council a week ago. Angry that he'd made the grave mistake of voicing his pathetic opinions and publicly contradict the Fire Lord. Angry that he froze in front of His presence and exposed his weak nature for everyone to witness. Angry that he allowed them the pleasure of hearing his cries, instead of taking the punishment silently.

He was angry at everyone but the one person he had every right to be angry at. He couldn't bring himself to do it, as if the very thought of it would be the ultimate disrespect. And so he blamed it on himself, knowing that's it's easier to be angry at Prince Zuko for daring to feel _anything_ , rather than the person who's responsible for Prince Zuko's pain.

Once you dug a little deeper, beyond the piles of fueling rage, you'd see determination.

Zuko thought he was well aware of his flaws, his biggest one being weakness. One thing he knew about himself better than anyone else, was that he was determined. Yes, he failed. According to public opinion, that's all he's been doing for the past sixteen and a half years. No matter how many times, or how severely he failed though, he always tried again. And each attempt was fueled by twice the ferocity and might.

He was determined to prove himself. Not only to his father, or his sister but to every single person that has ever doubted him. He was determined to march through the gates of Pohuai Stronghold and eliminate anyone who stood between him and reclaiming his honor.

He knew all too well that he would fail at some point. That there will be setbacks and obstacles the size of which he'd never faced before. And it didn't scare him. In fact, he counted on it. Because he knew that every time one of those setbacks would knock him down, he would get back up, stronger and better. He didn't need luck to ease his way through them, nor did he want it. All he needed was that determination that has fueled his soul his whole life.

"Having trouble packing?" Azula's voice brought him back to reality and he turned his head to see her leaning on the doorframe.  
"Don't worry, I'm sure won't be needing half of these things where you're going."

Perhaps it should have been mentioned earlier that Zuko was also very, very angry at Azula.

"Came to gloat?" he stared at her teasing smile and glimmering eyes, barely able to control himself.

"I came to say goodbye, Zuzu."  
She took a few steps forward, now fully entering the room, and sat on top of Zuko's bed, making the mattress plop down a bit.

Zuko couldn't help but scoff at her words. As if she cared enough for him to miss his presence in the Palace. Certainly not enough to bid him a proper goodbye. He was sure she came to feed off of his misery and enjoy the sight of his biggest failure yet. He continued stuffing things inside his bag, forcing them to fit.

"What?" she asked, pretending to be surprised that he didn't buy it.  
"I want to be at peace with myself knowing I gave you a proper farewell in case we won't see each other again."

"I don't have the energy or the time for this!" Zuko finally snapped, throwing a spare tunic he was holding at the floor.

On second thought, he realized Azula was right on one thing. He didn't need any of the stuff in his bag. So he turned it upside down and shook it violently until it was empty of all his possessions. Azula could only observe his neurotic state with raised eyebrows.

"Unfortunately for both of us, we will be seeing each other again. In six months. When I return." he barked and opened up a drawer of his with way more forcefully than needed.

He spotted the dagger uncle Iroh had gifted him when he was a child, along with its sheath, and grabbed it.

"I've heard the stories, I'm sure you have too," Azula started again, this time in a much more gentle tone that was not coated in irony. "the Yuyan way of training sure doesn't sound fun."

"You think I don't know that?" Zuko sneered as he tossed the knife in his backpack.

He whipped his head to give Azula a burning look that didn't make her waver in the slightest. She might have been the first person he's encountered this morning who was able to hold his stare for more than a second without looking away in disgust.

That made the immediate tension leave Zuko's body, allowing a deep sigh to escape his lips. He closed his eyes momentarily trying to piece himself together, the way he's been trying for the entirety of this week.

"I know that," he confirmed, his tone softer and collected.

He flopped on the soft mattress beside his sister and the two shared a moment of silence while looking at the richly decorated wall right across from them. It has been a long time since Zuko and Azula found themselves in the same room without shooting fire blasts at each other. It gave Zuko a chilling and uncomfortable sensation as if he was supposed to say or do something but his body permitted him from doing so.

"Father _really_ outdid himself this time." Azula broke the silence first, speaking in a monotone.

"I was the one who suggested going there." Zuko retorted, still not looking at her but the red wall.

"I wasn't talking about the training."

At this, Zuko instinctively raised a hand to his face but quickly remembered he wasn't supposed to touch his wound. Instead, his hand just stayed there, hovering close to his cheek, fighting every urge to touch it before it dropped back to his lap.

"Oh well," Azula suddenly exclaimed and rose from her seat. "as truly devastated as I am to see you go, you must be leaving soon. Death awaits."

Her sarcastic tone and air of superiority made a glorious comeback, though their delivery was not as perfect. Something about the moment of silence they had just shared altered the atmosphere and not even Azula could pretend it meant nothing.

A humorless, empty laugh escaped Zuko.  
"I knew this wouldn't last." he shook his head.

Azula knew exactly what he was talking about but chose not to comment on it and rather crossed her arms over her chest whilst trying to maintain her usual cunning smirk that now faltered ever so slightly.

Zuko stood up to his full height and unpinned his headpiece. He put it in his bag, more as a way to spite Azula and deliver a message rather than because he needed it. It was, after all, worn only by the crown Prince and he wanted to make sure it stayed that way.

After sealing the small pack and throwing his velvet cloak over his shoulders, he came face to face with his sister and took a lingering look at her as if realizing for the first time how much she's grown. How much they've both grown.

"Goodbye, Zula," he muttered, knowing this nickname enerved her more than anything. "don't get too comfortable while I'm gone."

And with that, he was out of the room.

The third and final thing Zuko felt, buried deeper than anger and even deeper than determination...was fear.

It wasn't fear of anything specific. It was an unusual kind of terror that had crept up his chest and settled into his heart for what seemed centuries but was merely days. That feeling, despite being buried deep inside him, liked to find its way onto the surface at random given moments.

Last night, for instance, he woke up drenched in his sweat, his chest heaving abnormally and he attempted to light a fire in his hand to shed light into his room. As the spark ignited and the orange flames shot upward, that feeling appeared and it made Zuko's hand close swiftly into a fist to dispose of the flame. It made him scared of his own fire.

During the ride to the ship that would escort him to Pohuai Stronghold, that terror was all Zuko could feel. His heartbeat against his ribcage so hard it felt as though it would jump out of his chest. His breathing was just as messed up, ragged, and uneven like the one of a long-distance runner. It made the driver of the carriage fairly uncomfortable, to the point where he even asked Zuko if he was feeling alright.

Things somehow got better when he reached the harbor. Maybe it was the weaves of the sea that calmed him or the fresh air that hit his face once he got out of the carriage. He wasn't sure what it was but it worked wonders.

The trip to the Earth Kingdom was within the length of a day give or take, however, time tended to receive a whole new concept inside the bottom deck of a ship. Hours passed that seemed like minutes to Zuko and then there were times where minutes seemed like days.

He'd maybe eaten once while he was there. His appetite hadn't yet come to him in order to consume proper portions of food. He only decided to eat some stew because he had a feeling he would regret not doing so over the next few days. If half of what he has heard about the Yuyan were true, then he would need all the strength he could get.

Once his boredom reached its peak and he couldn't stand laying with his thoughts any longer, he attempted to utilize the scrolls and ink left on the desk that occupied a small part of his cabin.  
The first thought that came to mind once he picked up the quill was to write to his uncle. It has been a week since he sent any news to his little tea shop in Ba Sing Se and Iroh was probably waiting to find out what happened to that meeting Zuko was so excited to partake in.

He doubted his uncle would be delighted by the news but he still wanted to write to him, in case they wouldn't let him have that luxury in Pohuai. He started from the very beginning and made sure to leave out most of the gruesome details of the events. He ended the letter by saying he wishes to contact him again and that he's sorry if that didn't come to pass. By the time he was signing his name, his hand gripped the quill so hard the knuckles had turned white and the signature came out shaky.

It wasn't long after he'd finish his letter that he heard one of the crew members alert the captain that he spotted land. That was his cue to seal the letter, pick up his cloak, and head to the deck. Fortunately for him, Pohuai Stronghold had direct access to the port they anchored at which meant Zuko wouldn't have to endure another awkward carriage ride and a close heart attack.

The closer he and his escorts got to the gates of the stronghold, the more aware he was made of its enormous size. Even in the dark of the night, the structure still managed to steal the moon's power and cast a black shadow over the forest that engulfed it. The outer steel walls themselves must have been at least fifty feet tall. Once he got close enough, he noticed a man was standing in front of the gates in waiting.

He held a wide stance while his hands were folded behind his back, an exemplary pose for a soldier. He seemed relatively young, though certainly older than Zuko. His hair was a bit scruffy, too long to let loose and too short for a proper topknot and so quite a few strands fell in his face while the rest was tied back. A bow hung over his shoulders.

What drew Zuko's attention more than anything was the man's face. He didn't have some extraordinary characteristic yet it was the whole aura it gave off that seemed strange to the Prince. A serene expression ruled over his features, unlike most soldiers who often sport a stern and stoic one. Also, a ghost of a smile played on the stranger's lips that could almost be described as...friendly.

"Welcome to the Western Colonies, Prince Zuko." the man greeted as soon as they came face to face. He didn't bow which at first seemed strange to Zuko but he couldn't care less about it at that moment.  
"I am Lieutenant Rei, I have been assigned as your temporary instructor."

On cue, the two guards standing behind him pushed the large metal gate open, expecting them to pass through. Zuko brought his sealed letter out of his cloak's sleeve and handed it to one of his escorts.

"Make sure this is delivered to Ba Sing Se for me," he ordered. The escort seemed confused for a second but after Zuko flashed him a good look of his scar he didn't have a word to say against it.

The Lieutenant whipped his body in the opposite direction and started marching towards the inside of the fort. Zuko made sure to follow closely behind while scanning around the dimly lit area.

The stronghold consisted of three walls that circled a small construction in the middle. Each wall was accessible through stone bridges that were interconnected with the main building and they each had two watchtowers. The ring between the third and second wall was narrow, mainly because the outer wall was meant for protection and guard watch.

"Up for a little information dump?" The Lieutenant turned over his shoulder and looked at Zuko, who didn't answer. He proceeded anyway.  
"Pohuai stronghold serves as a troop and supply hub. Supplies move from here to the rail lines of the Fire Nation close to Ba Sing Se. It is also, as you know, where the Yuyan are housed and trained."

The guards ahead of them pushed the second pair of doors open, allowing them to go through. The middle ring consisted of a plain grass field where several targets and training dummies were laid out in different places. It was wider than the first one and the shadows of the bridges above their heads gave the space an eerie feel.

"This is the training field. Once you start your standard training you will be reporting here every morning at seven." The Lieutenant spoke again snapping Zuko out of his trance. He cocked his head back with a hint of amusement on his face.  
"Don't worry, you'll know it's seven o'clock once you hear the deafening bell."

"What do you mean standard training?" Zuko asked, ignoring Rei's attempt at making a joke, as they both continued marching towards the third gate.

"Due to your late enlistment, you will have to go through a week's private training with me, before you can join a troop." The Lieutenant explained.

"Alright," Zuko answered, not sure whether he liked the idea of special treatment or not.

Lieutenant Rei's footing came to an abrupt stop before he passed through the final gate.  
"See? I knew you'd like that private shit. Reminds you of home, doesn't it?" A mocking, thin smile crossed his lips.

Zuko had to bite down on his tongue to restrain himself from answering appropriately. He didn't wish to start at the wrong foot with the person responsible for training him.

Of course, this small gesture of self-control didn't go unnoticed by Rei.

He stepped aside, allowing Zuko to walk his way towards the main building, him close behind his heel. The inside was plain, unimpressive, and empty of people just like the rest of the stronghold. It was a small space that hosted several twisted staircases, leading to different floors, and a double door at the wall across from them, that remained closed.

"This, " The Lieutenant pointed at the door as he took off his bow and left it on a stand, along with some others. "is the mess hall. You come here to eat every day at noon, sharp. If you're late, you just starve until dinner."

A lump rose to Zuko's throat when Rei gestured him to follow along down one of the staircases and his grip on the backpack's handles tightened. While the Lieutenant trotted down the stairs with speed, Zuko took the steps more reluctantly, not used to the steepness.

The basement was a long hallway, illuminated by the golden glow of torches. There was nothing but creaking, wooden doors on each side. Lieutenant Rei opened one of them, that was apparently a storage room and brought out a folded pair of clothing, then continued walking down the stone-paved floor without a word.

The deeper they would get into the hallway, the more evident became the sound of quiet chatter that came from the other side of the doors. Zuko guessed these rooms were some kind of dorms and that's where all the recruits were "hiding".

"And finally," Rei's voice echoed through the silence when he stopped in front of another door. "this is your room."

He opened the door to reveal what was practically a box, with a bunk-bed in the middle. The minimal light was provided by a burning candle that rested on top of a wooden desk, filled with stacked books and no chair to accompany it.

Upon noticing the bunk, Zuko's right eye sort of twitched and his mouth went dry.  
"There are two beds," he stated.

"My, my, you've got a sharp eye." Rei mocked, yet again, with a laugh. Zuko was too preoccupied to give a care about the 'eye' comment or the stupid laugh.

"Why are there two beds?" he asked again.

He could handle the training, the beating he would most likely get, the two-meals-a-day kind of thing unless you missed them. He could even handle living in a hole in a basement for six months with no natural source of light. Sharing the hole is where he drew the line.

"Oh, my bad," the Lieutenant snapped his fingers, adding to the apologetic act. "did I say your room? I meant our."

Zuko gawked, at which Lieutenant Rei's smile grew bigger and more genuine. He handed Zuko the pile of clothes he was carrying and Zuko caught it mechanically, not properly communicating with his environment.

"Welcome to the Yuyan, your highness."

*


	2. The Art of Observation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will try to keep a streak of updating once a week, let's see how that works for me.   
> Also! You can keep track of my stupidity and ask me questions on my tumblr (@mayotheedgelord) as well!

The top of a bunk bed wasn't as comfortable as Zuko imagined it would be, much to his disappointment.

Not that he made any attempts to use it for actual sleeping purposes. Despite having been awake for more than a day, sleeping wasn't within his immediate plans.

After Lieutenant Rei left him alone in their room, Zuko found himself standing completely still, clothes still in hand while his mouth opened and closed on its own accord. He did eventually return to reality, having accepted that this is his life now and he can't do anything to change it, besides working with what he's given. 

There wasn't anything attention-grabbing in the tiny room, apart from the stack of books laid upon the cherry wood desk. He took a flippant look at the titles and drew to the conclusion that the Lieutenant is a fan of history. Zuko debated for a moment which part of the bunk bed he should choose to sleep on, given that there was no sign of Rei's preference on either bed. He eventually settled on the top part and left his backpack there. For some reason, he thought the upper part would provide a more peaceful sleep.

It did not. 

It wasn't, of course, the bed's fault that Zuko couldn't sleep for the life of him. It was the combination of a lot of factors (including the discomfort of the bed) such as the restlessness that consumed every part of his body, the stinging pain that shot across the left side of his face when he accidentally tried to lay it on the pillow, and the occasional shivers that he got from the chilling temperature of the basement. 

At some point, the door of the room swung open and Zuko put his acting skills in motion and pretended he was fast asleep. 

"Spirits!" someone gasped and Zuko identified the voice as belonging to the Lieutenant.   
"I nearly forgot he was here," he said to himself, the sound of his voice followed by a pair of heavy footsteps leading to the bottom of the bunk.

Rei fell face-first on the bed, shoes and everything still on, and he didn't move until hours later. Zuko at one point started having paranoid thoughts that he might be dead and slyly leaned his head over the edge of the bed to observe. Fortunately for Rei, he wasn't dead. He just had a remarkable ability to fall asleep in a matter of seconds.

Zuko made an attempt to kill time by giving one of the Lieutenant's books about the Unification Wars a read but ended up getting hit by unwanted memories of him and his sister getting quizzed on this exact part by their father, and he ended up getting annoyed that he still couldn't memorize it as well as Azula. It was 350 BG Zuko, not 345, how hard can it be?

Sometime later, and just as Lieutenant Rei had joked about, a deafening bell echoed across the halls of the basement. The sound was ear-piercing and made Zuko wince in near pain. Rei's body shot up at the sound, almost mechanically, but Zuko wasn't that surprised. This bell could raise the damn dead.

"Rise and shine." The Lieutenant mused, sure that he was going to annoy a sleeping Prince. His mischievous smile fell when he saw that Zuko was already sitting on the bed, staring at him.

Without a word, Zuko jumped off the bunk and came face to face with an idly surprised Rei. That's when he noticed that the Lieutenant was...well...short.

"Showers are down the hallway on your left. Make sure not to make eye contact with anyone or you might come out with seven ribs instead of eight," he remarked, sort of annoyed that he didn't get to irritate Zuko.

He pulled a drawer from under his bunk and took out a clean set of clothes. Zuko grabbed the similar set that Rei had given to him the night before from the top of the bunk, ready to exit the room and head for the showers.

Common showers were equally as bad as a common bedroom in Zuko's book, yet the idea sounded far less intimidating now that he spent a night sitting just above someone's sleeping body.

As he opened the door he was met with chaos.   
Somehow the hallway that seemed so narrow and deserted last night, was now flooded with young men walking on either direction of it. Zuko backed up in surprise for a second, only able to look at the passing bodies that gave off a collective smell he could only describe as 'manly manhood'. 

He made his first step forward and started marching down the direction Rei had pointed him at. He kept his head up as an attempt to match some of these men's hight, yet his vibrant red, silk tunic made him stand out unmistakeably.

He received one or two sidelong stares that for the stare-ers' sake he pretended not to notice. He found the showers with ease and made sure to keep his gaze focused on the floor when he entered, wishing to keep all eight of his ribs. If stripping himself in a public locker room and leaving his clothes exposed on a wooden bench was not uncomfortable enough for him, washing up beside ten other people surely did the trick.

Fortunately, he managed to make it out of the shower and into his new maroon uniform without anyone attempting to either speak or look at him. Everyone here was decent at minding their own business, he noticed. That was until Lieutenant Rei decided to barge in the locker room.

"Zuko!" he called out when he spotted him. Upon the sound of his name, whispering and quiet gasping erupted from the small crowd around him.

Zuko turned to face Rei, his jaw locked in mild anger. 

"Main entrance. Three minutes." he simply said, now wearing a much more intimidating look than what he had displayed to Zuko so far. He had red face paint around his eyes and down his chin, as did most of the other men he'd noticed.  
"And the rest of you, hurry the fuck up, you're not going on a date for fuck's sake!" 

He banged his hand on the iron door as if to give pacing to the men who then sped up their actions by tenfold. They sort of feared him, Zuko figured. The whole yelling charade and the hard looks were to make sure it stayed that way. However, the Lieutenant didn't bother to act the same around Zuko and that fed his curiosity.

Zuko tied the remaining cords on his boots and swiftly exited the room before anyone had a chance to speak to him. His feet carried him along the steep stairs while he was trying to tie his ponytail without the aid of a mirror. 

When he reached the main entrance he realized that there were also female soldiers apart from the men he'd just seen. Many of them, in fact. He figured they were staying at the opposite side of the hallway and that's why he hadn't seen any of them yet. Once he spotted the Lieutenant waiting for him alongside the bow stand, he maneuvered himself around the heavy crowd. 

"Was that necessary?" he asked sternly, referring to the calling of his name in front of everyone.

Rei paused the stringing of his bow to look at Zuko with an amused smile.   
"People were aware of your arrival. Finding out what you look like was only a matter of time." 

"Yes. But-" Zuko tried to fire back at him but he was rudely interrupted.

"We can talk about your feelings after you run the perimeter of the training field. And maybe after a few hundreds of push-ups." he smiled tightly at him and circled his pointer finger around. 

Zuko merely huffed, annoyed by Rei's attitude. Granted, running the whole perimeter of the middle ring and then stacking up muscle exercise was not a piece of cake. But that's exactly what Zuko has been waiting for since he was sitting on that ship merely hours ago. The physical strain was one thing he could handle, even the worst parts of it. So he jogged out of the building with no protests. 

"Meet me back here when you're done, princey!" Rei beckoned, purely to annoy him further and have more people gasping as he ran by them.

He ran the perimeter. Twice. 

Just to make sure he didn't do it too quickly the first time and have Rei question whether he did it at all.

Αnd then he did the push-ups. Two hundred of them. 

Rei said a couple of hundreds but Zuko wasn't sure if he was being literal.

By the last dozen, he was about to crumble and eat the grass below him, but he'd be damned if he didn't complete the set. It was perhaps one of the first and only times Zuko didn't have a Fire bending master screaming above his head while he was doing push-ups. He couldn't tell if that was better or if it just meant he's expected to do it as if someone was screaming. When he was done he dragged his feet back at the main entrance where he found Rei stringing a second bow. 

"Done." Zuko breathed, trying to conceal the heave in his voice. His stomach churned and he longed for a bucket of water to be spilled on his face but he wasn't about to let the Lieutenant know.

"Do you still want to talk about your feelings?" the Lieutenant batted his lashes and looked up at Zuko with a childish pout.

"I never did," Zuko grumbled, the mere act of speaking tiring him.

"Good, now we can actually start training." The Lieutenant chirped and threw the bow he was holding at Zuko, who nearly let it fall because his hands didn't respond immediately.

Start training. Start. 

The reason no one was screaming at him was that this was just the warm-up. 

Zuko wanted to scream at the fact he did an extra round for nothing but managed to suppress it and just followed the Lieutenant out in the training field. Loads of troops were stationed in the field, performing different kinds of target practice that Zuko hadn't noticed before. 

Lieutenant Rei led Zuko to a far off, kind of secluded part of the field, with only a single target in sight. Nothing but grass and the occasional tree, that managed to lay roots inside the walls, could be seen for yards.

"Sit." Rei ordered and Zuko didn't need to be told twice. He flopped on the ground, cross-legged, without letting go of the bow in his hand.

"The Yuyan have a complicated system of training that can be summed up in a few words," he explained and tied his hands behind his back. His short figure looked fairly more imposing from that angle.

"Train to your breaking point. Both physical and mental." 

Simple and clear orders. Follow them and they lead you to success. Zuko could easily work with that. Even though he wasn't sure what a mental breaking point would mean for him, he nodded in understanding. 

"I'll teach you the fundamentals of archery so that you can catch up with the rest of the new initiates. From then on, you enter mass training and things get rough." he looked at Zuko intensely as he said this, just to make sure he fully understood. 

"No slacking, no distractions, or else you'll get trampled, punched, stabbed, or thrown off a watchtower. Best case scenario you make it through six months and you get your colors," he gestured to his red-painted face with his index finger. "got it?" 

"Got it," Zuko responded. 

He was fully aware of the dangers of involved in Yuyan training. Although recruits arrived every year, the archers were few in number. Not many could make it past the first few months alive. Being marked with the Yuyan Red instantly rendered you a respected figure among the Fire Nation military. Zuko was determined to achieve just that.

"Oh, and something I didn't tell you yesterday." Rei started again while motioning to Zuko to stand up. "The Yuyan are all non-benders. If you want to submit under the same training, then you are not allowed to firebend while on Yuyan grounds. At all." 

Zuko was startled for a moment. He used fire bending even to execute simple tasks such as light a candle, or heat his food, and so on. Cutting it out of his life so suddenly would certainly pose a difficulty.   
That being said, Zuko had been having trouble using his bending this past couple of days either way. Not because he wasn't physically able to do so but because every time he lit a fire, his heartbeat sped up to an unnatural degree and his hands started to tremble. Being restricted from using it gave him an excuse. 

"Understood," he said and the Lieutenant nodded.

"Close your eyes for a moment." Rei said and Zuko, although confused, obliged. He thought this was some kind of obscure philosophical interception, like the ones Iroh used when he was practicing fire bending with him. That was all before his military failure and immediate banishment, of course.

"Can you hear the birds?" Rei's voice brought Zuko back to reality. He tried to focus on the sounds around him. He breathed in and listened carefully.

A cool breeze. The sound of a trembling arrow pegging itself on the target. A couple of distant human voices and...the faint tweeting of birds.

"Yes." he answered once he detected it.

"Open your eyes," Rei ordered and Zuko did just that to find him standing in the same position.   
"Can you see the birds?" he asked.

Zuko, who'd lost the sound by now, tried to focus. They were certainly not flying above them because their tweeting sounded static, coming from a specific place. It was coming from a place higher up but the only thing standing out from the plain grass field were the targets and a couple of trees further off and close to the wall. The trees, even inside the wall, were quite too far for Zuko to see anything on their branches. 

Try as he might, he couldn't see the birds.

"No. I cannot." he finally said and the Lieutenant nodded again as if he expected it. 

"I can." he retorted.   
Before Zuko could ask how, Rei pulled an arrow out of the quiver strapped to his thigh and nocked it on the bow. His back was facing the said trees, though, he aimed at them without taking his eyes off Zuko and let the arrow fly.

A couple of seconds later, a small, distant cry was head and a shadow was seen falling off the tree.

Zuko couldn't help but let his mouth hang agape.

He's seen good aiming. Spirits, he was dating Mai, who could pin a fly to a wall with one of her knives but this was just...unbelievable. He had so many questions that fought for turns in his head but his mouth was dry and he decided not to speak at all.

"That's what you need to be able to do in six months." Rei pointed behind his back at the dead bird.  
"That's what separates a Yuyan from a regular archer."

He drew another arrow and gave it to Zuko this time. Without saying anything, he merely gestured to the target in front of him, implying that he wanted Zuko to demonstrate his limited skills.

Zuko has held a bow before, yes. He has even shot an arrow once or twice for fun back in the day when he would sneak around the palace's armory and pick up every weapon that was bigger than him. This was different, though. Someone expected him to hit that target in front of him, and it was not for fun. 

He confidently nocked the arrow onto the composite bow, much slower than the Lieutenant had. Aiming was harder than he remembered and his left eye vision was not exactly top-notch these days. Without putting too much thought into it, he let go of the bowstring and watched as the arrow landed far off-center but luckily on the target.

He blew out a sharp breath of satisfaction and turned to face Rei who had stuffed his face onto the palm of his hand and shook his head.  
"Boy, do we have some work to do."

They did. 

Lieutenant Rei spent the rest of his morning teaching Zuko about proper stance and form before he even got around to shooting any more arrows. There was a joke in there somewhere about how Zuko didn't need an eye dominance test because; "it's fairly clear which one's your good eye".

Zuko had to channel his inner rage expertly in order not to stab Lieutenant Rei after that comment. He settled on labeling him as infuriating but not a terrible teacher. Rei's jokes were largely insulting and unfunny according to Zuko but at least he wasn't calling him a disgrace, or a black sheep or "the failed prototype for your sister.".

The Prince was very competent in perfecting his stance on the lower part of his body yet had some trouble achieving the upper part. He was used to being incredibly stiff due to the continuous punch-throwing involved in firebending. It took some time to understand what "steady but loose" meant when it came to the position of his hands and both Zuko and Lieutenant Rei would get mad when he couldn't get it right. 

By the time the obnoxious bell rang again, it was noon and the sun was shining directly above the barren field. All trainees that were still training by this hour retreated towards the building which reminded Zuko what the Lieutenant had told him about lunch.

The very thought of food made Zuko's mouth water. A sure sign that his appetite had more than returned. He picked up his bow and started making his way towards the mess hall when Rei's voice stopped him.

"Did I say we were done?" he asked, fake wonder laced over his voice.

Zuko turned his head towards him with a sigh.   
"You said this is the only meal I get until dinner and I haven't eaten anything since yesterday." he flattened his tone to avoid sounding as though he were complaining, although he most certainly was.

Rei squinted his eyes and bit the inside of his cheek in thought.   
"Fine," he scoffed and picked up his bow. "but next time you leave training without asking for my permission, you're waiting till dinner." 

"Understood," he said, having to contain the groan of annoyance that was about to erupt from him. 

Zuko all but run towards the waiting line in the mess hall, feeling like he would faint any minute unless he stuffed his mouth with some food. One of the cooks slapped a full spoon of congee inside Zuko's wooden bowl and he nearly moaned at the smell. He quickly found an empty bench to sit on and started devouring the dish like a stable animal. Only when he'd swallowed up half the bowl did he start being aware of the quiet atmosphere in the mess hall. 

"Dear Agni..." Rei looked upon him with widened eyes as he settled across the table from him. "are you sure you're royalty?"

Zuko's gaze shot up and burned into the Lieutenant's who seemed unfazed. He waited until he'd finished the congee to the last grain before he spoke. 

"You're a Lieutenant. Don't you have somewhere better to sit?" he frowned, finding Rei's presence overbearing. 

"Just because you're off the field it doesn't mean training is over," he explained and pushed a pot filled with water towards Zuko's side of the table. He gobbled it down in a matter of seconds.

"What? Do you want me to start lifting the bench?" he bit back once he emptied the cup, his tone harsh.

Rei's eyes rolled dramatically, finding Zuko's attempt in humor a little worse than his own.   
"I don't think you've fully realized what you've gotten yourself into. I'm just trying to help but if you don't want it then that's fine-"

"Okay." Zuko flipped his hand, wanting Rei to just stop flashing his good-guy card. "Stop whining, I'm listening." he mumbled which earned him a small smile.

"In six days, you're out of my hands and into standard training. In order to survive it, you not only need the physical skills I'm teaching you, but a strategy tricks as well." Rei said, speaking lowly.

Trying to learn strategy tricks is essentially what got Zuko into this mess in the first place. He swallowed thickly and allowed Rei to continue while he took a few quick looks around, feeling like he was being stared at. What started as small gasps directed at the sound of Zuko's name and title, had now escalated to elaborate conversations of which he was the star subject. 

"Yes. They are looking at you, just like you've been looking at them. And that's exactly my point." the Lieutenant confirmed as though he read Zuko's mind.

It was true that Zuko has been trying to observe the archers. Either when passing them by in the hallway this morning or by dawdling at random training stations away from his own. He was observing their built, their skills, their attitude because he knew that to avoid getting eaten up in a place like this, you needed to be aware of the big players. Lieutenant Rei must know the game all too well, and he seemed eager to help Zuko get good at it.

"Show me what you've figured out by now." Rei encouraged him and leaned back, seeming eager.

Azula had always been better at reading people than Zuko was. Way better. Whether that meant judging their character or unraveling their deepest desires with just one look. However, Zuko was a quick learner. And he has spent a lot of time learning from his sister.

"Him," he pointed with his chin at a young man sitting on top of the table, surrounded by a fair amount of soldiers that all looked up to him in utter fascination while he was talking animatedly.   
"he's probably narrating some graphic story that makes him look like the bravest soldier there is. He probably has a lot of these stories and he's probably full of..crap."

Rei chuckled deeply and shook his head.  
"More or less. He's narrating the same story every time and just keeps on adding details," he confirmed and it gave Zuko a boost of confidence.  
"He's not that good of a shot but went on this mission a couple of months back and the team nailed it. So now he feeds off the glory of the rest, in a way."

Zuko had already made up his mind about not liking him and moved on to the next person.

"That guy," he gestured his pointer finger inconspicuously towards a man with a sleeveless tunic that exposed his tattoo-covered muscles. He wore a look on his face that told everyone not to come near him 'cause he bites.  
"he looks way too tough to be tough, y'know? I bet has a soft spot for his grandmother or something."

Rei once again had to suppress his laughter with his hand and not draw too much attention. Zuko actually started to enjoy himself a little bit. Just a little.

"His boyfriend. But close." Rei giggled some more.   
"He's pretty cool and friendly unlike most of the other assholes I have to keep in line."

"Not interested in making any friends but thanks for the heads up," Zuko muttered and kept looking around. 

He spotted another guy that was staring down at him while chewing on his congee. His eyes were somewhat hooded by his hair but once they made contact with Zuko's they squinted at the same time when his chewing grew ten times more aggressive. 

"Stalker over there," Zuko flickered his eyes towards the hard-core chewer to be discreet. "he's going to end up with no teeth if he keeps staring at me like that."

Rei groaned when he realized whom Zuko was referring to.   
"His name is Eichi," he said and threw a glance at him. "He's not that bad with a bow but his true calling is breaking people's bones. He's an interrogator for the prison's upstairs." he gestured to the ceiling above them. 

Zuko drummed his fingers on the table's surface impatiently while still able to feel Eichi's stare at the side of his face.  
"Well what's his problem then?" he snapped, turning his head to give the looker a good view of his scar.

"Eichi!" The Lieutenant called out before answering to Zuko. His voice had dropped down at least an octave.   
"Done with the sightseeing?"

That caught a lot of the trainees' attention and some of them even rotated their bodies to watch the exchange. 

Eichi grinned once he'd realized he aggravated Rei. A sly, sinister, self-satisfactory kind of grin.   
"I'm sorry, did I interrupt your date?" he rasped, egging Rei on.

Zuko's hands gripped the end of the table and he attempted to stand up. If it weren't for the deadly glare Rei shot at him as he did so, he would have walked all the way towards Eichi and would give him a piece of his mind...or his fist.

He didn't. He sat back down, gritting his teeth.

"Wanna come closer and repeat what you just said?" The Lieutenant asked with a hint of a smirk, at which Eichi huffed and turned to the person sitting next to him, picking up a conversation with a reminiscent of his previous grin still playing on his lips.

Indeed Zuko's earlier observation was correct. Archers in Pohuai Stronghold feared Lieutenant Rei. Either because of the authority he held or because of some unknown history he had. Zuko didn't care enough to ask. He only cared that he was fortunate enough to be on the Lieutenant's good graces. 

Still, that didn't mean he wanted Rei to act as his guard. If anything, Zuko wanted to be treated as an equal by the other archers. No special treatment, neither gracious or malicious. 

"And what happens when you're not there to put him in his place next time?" Zuko couldn't help but ask. It was, after all, a sound question.

"Make sure there is no next time," Rei responded immediately, and there was no arguing over his answer.   
"Don't go looking for a fight with Eichi or anyone for that matter. They won't get you anywhere."

Zuko decided not to fire up a debate with the Lieutenant as it would most likely lead to no better terms. He believed himself capable enough to pick his own fights but it was still early for him to go around pissing the "big fishes" off. Eichi seemed to be an important enough piece in this Pai Sho board that Zuko had forced his way into. However, his big question remained; 

Who's the most valuable tile?

He wished to know who was the biggest, the toughest, most fearsome player in Pohuai stronghold. Why? There could be two reasons. One, so he could keep a low profile around them and avoid any conflict.

And two, to drag them down from their throne by force and prove to everyone (including his father) that he's neither messing around nor to be messed with.

The second reason...Zuko was a big fan of.

He looked around some more while the Lieutenant was finishing up his food in silence. His eyes scanned the mess hall and all the chattering trainees sitting inside it. Most of them were sitting in groups, cliques someone could say. While Zuko was trying to figure out what exactly were the criteria by which they were divided, his eyes fell on someone who was sitting completely alone.

It was a girl, no older than Zuko, that occupied a whole table on her own and used the space to wax her bowstring. She had dark skin, the kinds that Zuko had never before seen in person, and thick, brown hair that was slicked back in a low bun, secured with a golden needle. Red face paint was smudged around her eyes, a chaotic mess that contrasted her perfectly serene and cold expression.

Rei turned his head and followed Zuko's gaze, curious to see what had picked his interest.   
"Her included," Rei spoke in a monotone and continued to pick his food with the chopsticks.

"Huh?" Zuko shook his head and looked back at Rei who was glaring at him.

"When I said don't go looking for a fight with anyone, I meant especially her." he explained further, and rather than being repulsed, Zuko found himself more intrigued than he's been throughout this whole lunch.

"What's is it about her that would require for me to stay away?" he asked, lacing his fingers with each other and resting his chin on his intertwined hands.

Rei pretended not to hear the question and continued to poke at his congee.

Zuko chewed the inside of his cheek in frustration.   
"You said I should learn strategy tricks, well that's what I'm doing. You said it yourself; in six days you won't be able to hide me behind your back. I need to fend for myself and finding out who poses a threat to me is the best way to do it." 

The Lieutenant looked up from his plate, hating the fact that he found reason in Zuko's arguments. Zuko, on the other hand, enjoyed it. If it wasn't for Rei's annoying refusal to speak, he would be enjoying it even more.

"That," Rei slightly nodded to the girl sitting somewhere behind him. "is Sergeant Kyra. Has one of, if not the best aim on camp. Give that girl something sharp and she can straighten up your haircut from a mile away." 

"And why is she so scary?" He asked, still not getting the gist of her.

"Apart from all the trainees she has sent to the infirmary after competing with them in combat, there's a specific funny story that earned her a reputation," Rei started, with a look that implied there was nothing remotely funny about the story. 

"It's Yuyan tradition that when the recruits arrive every September, the older trainees play a practical joke on them. Usually, it involves abducting them in the middle of the night and tossing them at the pond or something..."

Zuko got uneasy for a moment, fearing that there would be an attempt to prank him as well, but then he remembered he never slept anyways so he was always vigilant.

"Well, someone snuck into Kyra's room during her first week here, while she was supposedly asleep..." Rei paused his narration, trying to find the correct words.   
"The guy ended up crawling out of there a few minutes later. He was three years older and twice the size of her, yet she broke both of his legs."

Zuko would admit, at least to himself, that this story made Sergeant Kyra a bit more fearsome in his eyes. He's seen worse though. Nothing tops a thirteen-year-old girl who can summon lightning with a flick of her hand. 

He remained silent and gave space for Rei to continue talking.  
"Kyra is not a threat to you as long as you don't pose a threat to her. Trust me, don't get on her bad side, because she'll make sure you won't physically get anywhere else...ever."

His eyes trailed off and he took another flitting look at the girl in question. This time she became aware of his gaze and she raised her eyes to meet his. A hard, intimidating look was cast upon Zuko on her behalf. Despite that, he didn't look away and just watched as she stood up abruptly, picked up her bow, and walked off.

Looks like Zuko has found his prime tile.  
All that remains now is to kick it off the board.


	3. Depth Perception

Zuko's first week in Pohuai Stronghold was...insightful.

Being gifted with the abilities of a quick learner, he was able to get through his archery basic training with a little less yelling than he originally expected. He could now hit bullseye two times in a row, without any form of luck. In addition to that, he was also practicing in hand-to-hand combat without using any bending. It was Zuko's favorite hour of the day and his only chance of apprehending the Lieutenant on anything.

Learning that the art of archery is largely based on instinct as well as skill, was perhaps the hardest part. He would constantly fall into his controlling habits, wanting to navigate the arrow perfectly, even though he didn't have the necessary skill or power to do so. In the words of Lieutenant Rei; _"you need to overcome your need for control. There is no control. It's instinct."_

Speaking of the Lieutenant, Zuko had grown to find him tolerable yet still unfunny. He wasn't the worst roommate Zuko could have asked for, given the fact that he returned to their room late at night and fell asleep soundlessly like a baby. When they would have a free period, Rei would retreat to the bottom part of their bunk and bury his face into his books. Zuko would sometimes get competitive as a residue of his childhood and tried to quiz the Lieutenant on his new knowledge and would get reprimanding if he ever made a mistake.

Rei was quick to remind him of his position of power and assigned Zuko more push-ups every time he corrected him in a cocky manner.

During the first three days, the rumors on his arrival reached their peak. Apart from the indiscreet whispering that his passing the hallway would evoke, Zuko now had to deal with the newfound nicknames the Yuyan archers had invented for him, most of which started to spread through Eichi, whom Zuko was trying as hard as he could, to ignore. 

The most common names were; Princeling, Sparky, Your Fiery Highness, and his least favorite, Scarface.

When he heard it for the first time he grabbed the caller by his shirt and slammed him into the nearest wall. He was one small step away from gifting the boy a similar scar to his if it weren't for the "watchdogs", the archers who were assigned to patrol the hallways to keep order, that separated the two. Zuko was deprived of his dinner as a first-form punishment and didn't even get to throw a decent punch.

It's been a week since he stepped foot in the Stronghold and that meant he was starting collective training. Everything that Zuko had worked so hard for over the past week led up to this and he couldn't help but give in to the anxiety threatening to take control of his body. 

He stared at his reflection in the tiny bathroom mirror, meant to be shared by at least a hundred men like he has been doing for the better part of his current free period. 

Zuko didn't fully recognize the young man staring back at him. His face, apart from the noticeable disfigured left side, had changed strikingly. It looked angered, furious even, even though he tried to keep it relaxed. His singular dark eyebrow was furrowed downwards, forming a crease between itself and where its pair should have been. A fine grey line was drawn across the golden canvas of his left eye, marking his vision partly impaired. His mouth was pressed in a thin, slightly trembling line. 

Zuko grabbed the entirety of his loose black hair, securing them in a ponytail using his hand. He hadn't bothered to cut it after the Agni Kai, although he was constantly reminded by the rogue strands that fell into his face that he should. He couldn't bring himself to do it at first. It would make it all too real if he did and he wasn't ready to face that side of reality just yet. 

Things have changed now. He's in Pohuai, one small step away from proving everyone wrong about him. His father, who agreed to send him there, believing he wouldn't make it out alive. Azula, who had the nerve to taunt him as he left, enjoying every moment of it. Every fire bending master that had called him the black ship of the royal family. And himself, who doesn't hesitate to call him weak every chance he gets. 

He took his dagger out of his combat boot where he hid it. It shone brilliantly even under the dim candlelight that the common showers provided, making the meaningful inscription evident. Zuko brought the dagger to the base of his ponytail and pressed. 

He regretted it halfway through slicing the hair, but there was no going back. The knife made it to the other side with a satisfying sound and Zuko disposed of the ponytail in his hand, letting the rest of his hair fall into a silly-looking bob around his head. He groaned in annoyance and started chopping that too until there was nothing left but a thin layer of short hair that merely covered his skull. He noticed the scarring ran further across his head than he thought, having damaged the hairline.

Now he didn't recognize his reflection at all, and he was strangely happy with it.

He sheathed the dagger and returned to his room where he found Rei tieing up his cloth belt.  
"Spirits," he breathed out once he saw Zuko entering.

Zuko whipped his head at him, too insecure to take comments on his new haircut just yet.   
"What?" he snapped.

"Nothing," Rei shook his head, a hint of a grin playing on his lips. "It suits you, it's just that...you didn't have to cut it, you know?" 

"I had to." Zuko gruffed in response and climbed up to his bunk.   
"It's what the defeated do."

Lieutenant Rei knew the story, much like the entirety of the Fire Nation. News spread fast, especially if it's the royal family's dirty laundry. It was an aspect of royalty that Zuko had always hated and especially now. Having everyone know the origins of the raw mark on his face made him beyond uncomfortable. 

"As you wish," Rei sighed, a sigh that hid what Zuko sensed to be disappointment or perhaps solemn. But for what? It wasn't his hair, anyway.

"I have a meeting with Colonel Shinu on the top floors. Find something to busy yourself with and I'll meet you at dinner, yes?" he quickly changed the subject as well as the tone of his voice.

"Yes," Zuko responded without meeting his eyes.

Fortunately, the Lieutenant hadn't yet discovered Zuko's tell when lying and so he left the room without second thoughts.

The truth was that Zuko would be busying himself with something entirely different than what Rei had in mind. And he might not make it to dinner.

On the fourth day of his stay, Zuko made a useful discovery. Every Sunday, during free period, some of the younger and most hotheaded members of the Yuyan hosted fighting matches near the back entrance of the inner ring. He'd heard two Privates talk about it while waiting in line to receive dinner and then he asked Lieutenant Rei for more information.   
He told him it was a stupid tradition, towards which most Watchdogs turned a blind eye, just because it was partially entertaining. The matches were the place where most of the initiates got their reputation from, either by beating someone up or getting beaten up themselves. 

Rei later proceeded on telling Zuko to stay away from those matches. 

More specifically he said; _"Don't even think about walking past there on Sunday or I'll bring you down to my hight."_ while looking up to meet Zuko's taller gaze.

It was Sunday, it was the free period, and the Lieutenant was preoccupied. The temptation was too much for Zuko to resist. Not that he could blame it all on the temptation. Truth was, he was set on witnessing the matches even if he had to run past the Lieutenant to do so.

Once the Lieutenant left the room, Zuko waited a few minutes before sneaking out with full intent on going to the match. How could he ignore the perfect opportunity to place himself on the board as one of the valuable tiles? Rei said it himself that those matches were the source of the known archers' reputation. Gaining a reputation was vital for Zuko's survival through collective training, and he had to make sure it's a good one. This was the best way to do it.

He came out of the main entrance and started walking towards the back of the ring. The sound of cheering and shouting covered the clicking of his boots on the stone-paved ground as he got closer. There was a crowd circling what seemed to be two archers fighting, and Zuko made sure to gradually earn himself a spot with a good view. 

In the center of the circling crowd were two young men. One of them had the built of a large beast and biceps the size of a tree trunk. A red headband that several other archers were wearing was tied around his head to secure his hair. The other man was skinny and tall like a twig, with delicate fingers that looked too fragile for an archer. 

Vulgar cheers were thrown at them as they both walked sideways, not having started throwing fists yet. The buff guy let out a cry and took a terrifying swing at his opponent. The lanky one avoided it easily and reappeared behind him, stealing the red headband from the top of his head with a jump.

Laughing erupted from the crowd at the gesture and Zuko assumed he did it to either piss his opponent off or just to save himself some time before the combat started. It was a good distraction tactic, he'd admit that much.

The buff guy actually chuckled a bit and pointed a mocking finger at the lanky one who was twirling the headband around his hand. The former launched forward again, ready to knock the latter to the ground. What happened instead was Mr. Lanky slithered around the attack, managing to grapple his opponent and throw himself over his shoulders, forcing him on the floor. He swiftly made use of the headband to tie the guy's left leg and right arm together in a painful angle.

"Tap! Tap!" he let out a wince once the skinny boy started to tighten the grip, making it unbearable. 

And that was the end of it.  
The knot was instantly loosened and both guys got up and bowed to each other in typical Fire Nation manner, the winner of the match holding a self-satisfied grin. 

Zuko was amazed and for a moment considered clapping along with the rest but then he met a sight not worth of his applause. 

"Alright!" Eichi clapped slowly and stepped into the ring, a disgusting smirk lied on his face that Zuko so wished to burn off.  
"A little brush-off with the rules but I'll let it slide just his once." he tapped on the winner's back as he left the center of attention. 

Of course, Eichi would want to play referee at a game where two people were allowed to tear each other to shreds. He was a sadistic interrogator, it wasn't all that surprising. Though Zuko just wished he wouldn't have to see his face during his free period. 

"Who's next then?" Eichi called while rubbing his hands together. He took a few suggestive looks at the crowd waiting for someone who had the guts to step up. 

"Me." Zuko calmly raised his hand, and as if on cue, the crowd split around him, the way wave splits in two when crashing onto a rock. 

Eichi's smirk grew wider and he clicked his tongue, inviting Zuko into the ring. Zuko took a few wide and confident strides past the shocked and intrigued faces until he came in front of Eichi who still grinned like a moron.

"Sparky decided to join us today, huh? Loving the new haircut by the way," he taunted Zuko, but for once he was unfazed, completely focused on the task at hand.

"So," Eichi laid an unwelcome hand on Zuko's shoulder at which he flinched and looked upon Eichi with disgust. 

"The rules are as simple as it gets. The volunteer, in this case, you, chooses an opponent and they engage in strictly hand-to-hand combat. Everything is on the table as long as it's physical. When you feel like you can't take the beating any longer, you say 'tap'. Until you do so, the other party is allowed to keep hitting you 'till you drop unconscious."

Simple enough for Zuko, yet scary all the same. He had never fainted before, though he did come close once when he saw Azula falling off of a tree they were climbing together. The prospect of her getting hurt this badly used to be horrifying to six-year-old Zuko, let alone he'd be the one to blame if anything happened to his little sister. Fortunately for both of them, Azula had swiftly gotten up and laughed it off. 

In any case, getting kicked in the face until your own body gives up on you and forces you into a state of sleep didn't sound like a lot of fun. Still, he was far in too deep to give up. All he could do now is try to stay afloat and not drown. How hard could that be?

"Now, choose." Eichi stepped aside and outstretched his arm to show Zuko his options. 

Of course, was he allowed to do so, Zuko would choose Eichi, for he would have loved to introduce his fist to the arrogant archer's face. That being out of the question, Zuko had the chance to make a more reasonable choice. His eyes schemed over the small crowd of archers before they locked onto a specific figure, sitting on a stone pedestal while stringing their bow.

"Her." Zuko nodded towards Sergeant Kyra at which the crowd turned to look at her with widened eyes. She raised her head. 

Golden eyes, similar to his, found Zuko's and bore into them, possibly wondering what possessed him to make that Agni damned choice. 

A wheeze escaped Eichi and a second later the crowd followed with some low-whistles.   
"Okay, okay," Eichi tried to contain his laughter. "you're new so I'm going to give you another chance to-"

"Did I stutter?" Zuko cocked his head to the side and stared down at Eichi, whose smile slowly faded away and was replaced by an irritated frown.

Eichi shrugged carelessly and mumbled something under his breath.  
"You heard the man, Kyra, come on." he waved his hand, beckoning to her. 

She left her bow and quiver leaning against the wall and slowly paced her way to the two of them, maintaining a locked jaw and hooded eyes. She held an effortless air of superiority that made it seem as though her presence overshadowed that of Eichi, even though she was shorter. 

Zuko could see that Kyra knew damn well what he was trying to achieve and wanted no part in it. He couldn't care less about that. All he needed her to do was be slightly inferior to him in terms of fighting. He only wanted to win that match and shut everyone's mouth now and forever, tired of all the pet names and whispering. 

They came face to face and suddenly the threat of her became much more realistic to Zuko's eyes. Her straight stance, her ice-cold and calculating expression, her piercing gaze, all helped her assert a kind of dominance that planted seeds of doubt into Zuko's head. Doubt of whether he could win or if she would break every bone in his body.

"Whenever you're ready," Eichi mused and got out of their way, leaving them space to start pacing sideways around the circle. 

Zuko tried to analyze her posture as they did so, hoping to find some obvious weakness. Her footing was perfectly steady, her arms were mirroring his at just the right distance away from her chest. His eyes came to her face and once met with her intimidating glance, the warmth of his blood seemed stolen away.

Without giving his mind any more time to overthink, he took a confident swing aimed at Kyra's face. She blocked the hit with her forearm and delivered a similar one underneath his chin.   
The only difference was that her hit found its target, sending Zuko's head flying backward with a loud crack.

Zuko lost his footing for a moment and that signaled the start of their match as well as the overpowering cheering of the crowd. He wasted no time and twirled around, stretching his leg at the last second, hoping that the sole of his boot would feel the impact of the hit. Kyra avoided the kick by ducking underneath it and jabbed at Zuko's exposed ribs with an open palm. It hurt much more than Zuko expected it to, nearly knocking the breath out of him.

The cheers started to get more elaborate after that and people were shouting things like;  
"Make him kneel the way his servants do!" 

Needless to say, that didn't give Zuko much confidence.

Their match wasn't going all that terribly until Kyra decided to play offense.  
Zuko knew it would go downhill from there.

He didn't take all the punches, however, Kyra was quicker than him and managed to pull a good one right at his nose which immediately started bleeding. A collective wince was heard and Zuko couldn't help but lay a hand on his aching face. As the crimson liquid coated his lips, he launched forward with twice the force he was using before, and a small cry.

Unlike Zuko, who was on edge, Kyra remained completely calm while they were fighting, something that irritated Zuko even more. She dodged and deflected almost every hit of his, their forearms and shins repeatedly crossing with each other in a tie.

That was up until one specific pretense-kick Zuko managed to pull off, where instead of hitting her head, he folded his leg, grabbed Kyra by her neat bun, and brought her down on his knee. The hit was followed by an unsatisfying sound and several gasps.

Zuko took a few steps back and could only observe as the Seargent raised her head, torturously slow, to reveal her busted lips. She brought two shaking fingers to check if it was bleeding and sure enough they were both stained in deep red. 

She huffed and it sounded as though she was stunned. The sound caused Zuko to gulp and tighten his fists, for it was the first thing he'd ever heard come out of her mouth and it sounded so full of intent.

She showed no mercy after that, launching straight at Zuko and kicking him in the gut. He pressed an arm over the spot and he doubled over, whilst his other arm was raised in the air trying to shield him for whatever comes next. It didn't do much, considering Kyra used the arm to twist him into a grapple and throw him to the other side of the human-made ring. 

His face made direct contact with the stone floor, his skin scratching on the surface. He groaned and watched the sideways image of his assailant walking towards him, awakening a memory he wished to forget.

"You're going too easy on him!"

He forced himself to hop onto his feet and mindlessly swung at her again, and again. She blocked all of his attempts and delivered a hit of her own for each one. One fist on his right cheekbone, one hard kick on the back of his kneecap, and one elbow hit on his abdomen.

Zuko started to feel dizzy and his knees gave out, slamming on the stone below. Kyra was standing over him, holding the best view on his suffering but seeming to enjoy none of it.

Despite having time to deliver another blow, she let Zuko take a breather, waiting for him to stand up again. He grunted and groaned to pull himself up a second time. He was barely on his feet once again when the Sergeant gifted him another kick on the ribs that knocked him back down. He couldn't suppress it this time and so Zuko screamed. He let out an agonizing scream of pain for all the hits he had taken thus far.

"Are you an idiot?! Just say tap already!"

"Dear Agni, he's going to pass out..." 

All sounds stopped existing and Zuko's head went silent. The only sensation he could still feel was the soft trail of blood running out of his mouth and down his chin. He coughed some of it and it splattered on the blurry image of the floor. Everything else was just numbness. He was on his knees, sitting atop his legs with his hands spread out in front of him and he could only hear one voice; his own. 

_"Father, please!"_

He wished to scream again in hopes that this sentence would stop playing itself in his head. He needed to get back up and finish this fight before Kyra finishes it first. Zuko's fingers tightened and arms trembled violently as he started pushing his weight onto them. Every muscle and organ in his body screamed for him to stop, to lay back down, to give up. It's a three-letter word, Zuko. T-a-p. Say it and this will all be over. 

He didn't say it.

He stood up, his body slightly swaying due to the dizziness. He couldn't see properly because of his blurry vision but he could make out the silhouette of Sergeant Kyra standing before him. Her arms hang loosely to her sides and her eyes were wide in what resembled horror. 

Zuko pulled his hands up in front of his face, bracing for impact.   
"Come on," he spat, his breath raging almost inhumanly. 

The crowd had stopped cheering. In fact, they had stopped speaking entirely. Zuko's was the only voice that broke the silence.

"Come on!" he screamed this time. He sniffed out a breath and a spray of blood exited his nose along with it.   
"I c-can take it," he assured, fighting his eyeballs' urge to roll into the back of his skull.

Kyra could only stare at him. The sight of his partially broken and bloodstained body swaying from side to side, battling with every fiber of its being to stay standing, made her eyebrows furrow in what someone could describe as revulsion, oblivion or perhaps fear. Zuko couldn't tell which one.

"Take this corpse to the infarmary." she ordered in a deadpanned tone and immediately three of the watching archers run to Zuko's side, grabbing him by the arms. 

His body gave in to their support and gladly let them drag him out of the scene, despite the stubborn part of him protesting at the unfamiliar contact. His head lulled to the side when they started to carry him away and everything began to look and sound ever blurrier. He could make out two voices discussing in the distance.

"You can't do that, he hadn't said tap yet!" One of them complained.

"Get in line, Corporal Eichi, before you say something you will bitterly regret." 

That was all Zuko heard before the distance grew too great and all he could see was the foggy ceiling of the main building and the blinding light of the chandeliers that hang from it. A creeping sensation took over him as though he was climbing up the stairs but that couldn't be right, could it? 

There was a gap in his memory after that. A blank space where old memories danced around in his heavy head, mending with new ones and creating a confusing mess. 

Next thing he knew he was sitting on a sunbed, an old woman laying over him, asking him if he can hear her.

He turned his focus to her and that's when his world reclaimed sound.   
"W-Where am I?" he managed to pronounce once he figured out how to use his center of speech again.

A look of relief crossed the woman's features.  
"Hello, Private Zuko," she greeted him.

Private Zuko. Not as good-sounding as Prince Zuko. But still, tolerably charming.

"You're in the infirmary. You suffered a serious concussion, internal bruising, a cracked nose, and many superficial injuries." the woman cast her most sympathetic smile.

"Ugh, it sure feels like it." Zuko groaned and took a look at his surroundings. 

The room he was in was filled with identical beds like the one he was sitting on, some of which were occupied by people who were either covered in bandages or blood. Loads of groaning, seething, wincing, and "that fucking hurts!", could be heard from the nearby beds.

"How long was I out?" he rasped, his throat drier than the desert. 

As though the woman sensed his need for hydration, she handed him a full cup of water which he emptied instantly.  
"Barely half an hour. You, sir, have one of the most resilient bodies I have had the chance of treating. It has already entered the healing process." she said, still smiling, although it didn't give Zuko much comfort.

He was about to ask for more information when a raging yell echoed just outside the large room. 

"Where is he?!" a voice that Zuko recognized as the Lieutenant's shouted and Rei himself entered the room a second later.

Zuko had never seen a person look angrier. Rei's whole body was shaking as he took stomping steps towards his bed. A vein Zuko hadn't noticed before was popping on his forehead and his whole face was redder than the smudged paint on it.

"You disobedient little shit!" he yelled and nearly launched forward at Zuko but was stopped by the woman at his side. 

"Easy there, Lieutenant." she let out an awkward laugh while pressing a wrinkled hand against Rei's chest. He was too busy staring at Zuko to notice it.

"When I said you shouldn't even walk past the game, is that what you understood?" he asked, fuming but considerably calmer than before.

Zuko swallowed thickly and raised his hand to explain.   
"No, but that's what I did." 

The Lieutenant let out a scream without opening his mouth and tried to smile his way through it, which honestly looked horrifying. 

"You literally have no depth perception! Why do you think I gave you orders to stay away from this match? For shits and giggles? Had Kyra not ceased hitting your unyielding ass, you would be dead! Gone! A pile of dirt buried six feet under! What was I going to tell my superiors then?" 

Zuko didn't have a good enough answer for that. He felt he shouldn't have to. It was his body he was wrecking, his reputation he was either destroying or building, and his time he was wasting. He shouldn't have to report to the Lieutenant about any of it, no matter how many ranks he was above him. Let alone he didn't give a single silver piece about what Rei's superiors said, or thought. 

"Alright, I think what Private Zuko needs is some rest." the woman interrupted again and this time actually caught Rei's attention.   
"He will be back in your dorm shortly." 

"Good luck trying to heal that fucking mess." Rei flipped his hand at Zuko's bruised face and he gawked, offended.

"He's a firebender, Lieutenant. His internal trauma heals at the speed of light. Though the external..." the woman seethed her teeth and looked upon his face. "well, that will take a while." 

Zuko pouted feeling like a toddler whose parents discuss him while he's present and act as if he's not there. Irritation conquered his senses the more time was spent where he wasn't the one in charge of what should happen to him. His trauma, his decision to ignore it.

"Actually, I feel better already..." he smiled sarcastically and attempted to get off the bed, ignoring the woman's frantic refusal. 

When his feet touched the floor, his knees crumbled, ready to meet the ground again. The Lieutenant swept his arms under Zuko's and held him steady. 

"Sit back down, dumbass," Rei remarked, his voice holding a patronizing edge. Zuko merely shook his head in disagreement.

He gently pushed Rei away, wanting no physical contact at the moment, and gripped the railing of the nearest bed to help himself stand properly. Neither the nurse nor the Lieutenant did anything to stop him from heading out. Even though his chest ached with every breath, he didn't stop moving.

With obviously quicker pacing than his own, Rei exited the infirmary and walked side by side with Zuko. He did not attempt to touch him this time. He just stuck to his side all the way down the hallway in case Zuko needed any support, a much softer expression displayed on his face. Maybe he realized that yelling at Zuko would only make him want to walk away faster and further away.

"Take a left," Rei told him quietly when they reached the staircase.

Zuko looked over to his left and saw a door, probably leading outside onto the bridges that connected the three walls. 

"I'm not having you walk into the mess hall in this state. Fresh air will do you good, come on." Rei cocked his head to the side and Zuko limbed behind him with no protest.

The chilly breeze of the night hit Zuko right in the face when the door opened. It was partly refreshing, although it made him shiver. He wasn't yet used to the colder climate of the Earth Kingdom. He and Rei walked across the stone bridge that hung over the void of darkness and towards a tiny watch-tower that seemed to be abandoned, for some reason. 

Rei knocked three times on the steel door of the tower and after a few seconds, a man appeared at the opening.   
"Took you long enough, Shorty." he remarked, smiling at the Lieutenant teasingly.

Zuko recognized him as the lanky guy that fought the match before his own, earlier today. He seemed even more skinny up close. The guy recognized him too.

"No way, we have royalty as a special guest? Neat." he pointed at Zuko with his long index finger and hurried the both of them inside the tower. 

It was more of a small balcony rather than a tower, to be exact. The circular space rounded up to an opening on which three fabric chairs were placed, looking out to the midnight view of the forest. A girl about Zuko's age sat on one of them, seeming utterly ecstatic to see them all.

"Let me introduce you," Rei motioned for Zuko to sit on one of the chairs and he did, reluctantly.

"This is your idea of taking fresh air? Are we even allowed to be here?" he raised an eyebrow, slightly annoyed that he hadn't been warned about this social event. Social events weren't Zuko's forte.

"Yes and no." Rei answered with a small smile and leaned against the edge of the 'balcony'.   
"These are Specialists Takiyo and Naoki." 

Both of them outstretched an eager hand to Zuko and he awkwardly shook them both at the same time. As he did so, he took a closer look at them.   
Takiyo, apart from being skinny, was also conventionally handsome. A picture-perfect Fire Nation boy; strong jawline, defined cheekbones, skin as pale as snow, and an expertly made top knot, not a hair out of place. 

Naoki, the bright-eyed girl, had her auburn hair twisted up in two buns at the side of her head and her forehead was covered up with choppy bangs. She owned to evident scars in the form of old scratches, one that slit through her thin eyebrow and one on the right corner of her mouth that seemed to be an extension of her smile.  
Another thing that stood out about her was her big, tight smile that made Zuko wonder if it hurt her cheeks. That, and the excessive bloodstains on her clothes.

"Takiyo is also known as Chopstick," Rei added with a smirk and Takiyo's face fell, clearly not fond of the nickname.

"Is it because you're thin and tall?" Zuko asked and then inwardly cursed himself for asking such a stupid question. Yes, Zuko, why else could he be called Chopstick for? This is why he hates social events.

Takiyo's head lulled to the back of his chair, lazily. He cast Zuko a crooked grin. "Maybe it's because I have a long-"

"Takiyo also doesn't use his brain sometimes and thinks with different body parts instead." Rei interrupted him in time with a disgusted face and the boy snickered. 

Zuko leaned further into his chair trying to appear less stiff. He figured the Lieutenant brought him here to make some useful allies, so he'd better start learning a thing or two about them. Sitting silently until Rei would allow him to crawl back to his bed wasn't an appealing alternative.

"So, you know plenty about me, I presume." he started with a nervous clearing of his throat.   
"What's your deal? Why did you join the Yuyan?" he directed the question at the two of them and they both sighed as though saying 'it's a long story'.

"Enlisting wasn't much of a choice for either of us." Naoki started, placing a hand on her chest.   
"For me, it all started when I was struck by lightning as a kid. I didn't die but all of my nerves got essentially fried and I lost the ability to feel pain in most parts of my body," she exclaimed as though she was telling the funniest story. "I sort of became local folklore for the nearby villages, after that. The military found out about me seven years later and they offered me recruitment and...here we are!"

Zuko's mouth hung agape by the end of the story, not just struck by the fact that Naoki could feel no real pain but because she was smiling her way through narrating the events. No wonder the military went out of its way to find her. 

"The blood on your clothes..." his voice faded away and he hesitantly pointed at her shirt.

"Don't worry it's all mine!" she assured with wide eyes. "I tend to be a bit clumsy."

Zuko gulped.

"I don't have any superpowers, so don't get too excited," Takiyo rolled his eyes and took his turn, not taking the conversation too seriously.  
"Sweet, homeless, fourteen-year-old Takiyo tried to hijack a supply carriage to steal some food. I set up a trap in the road where I knew the carriage went by every week. When it toppled over, I grabbed some bread and run for my life. I wasn't of the athletic sort and got caught only minutes later." he scoffed a laugh at his younger self. 

"They would have killed me on the spot but they were low-key impressed by the trap and they offered me a place in this hole. Essentially, it was learning how to hold a bow or get lit like a firework. " 

Takiyo's story explained a lot about his fighting style in the match. He used his brain instead of his physical skills unlike most of the archers here, and that lead him to victory. Zuko hated to admit it but Rei was right to bring him along. Takiyo's and Naoki's narrations took his mind off the numbing pain on his entire body, even just a little bit. 

"Moral of the story;" Rei started with a smile. "Don't go swimming when it's raining and don't steal bread supplies meant for the Ba Sing Se barricade if you don't want to end up in the army."

The three of them snickered and although Zuko felt somewhat out of place, he didn't entirely hate being around them. They seemed...nice?

"What about you?" Zuko breathed out, turning his head towards the Lieutenant.   
"There's this girl with actual inhumane abilities," he pointed at Naoki who smiled and pointed at herself. "a guy that outsmarted imperial generals and...you, whom I know nothing about except the fact that you like history books."

Rei crossed his arms over his chest and fought back the grin that threatened to spill on his face.   
"You want to know what my deal is?" he asked and Zuko nodded. 

Somehow, he was the one appointed Lieutenant. He was the one who could raise his voice by a notch and a bunch of men twice his hight scurried around trying to please him. He was the one with the aim of a literal Spirit and no explanation of how he got it. Zuko wanted to find out what made Lieutenant Rei into who he is.

"You'll figure it out soon enough."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was supposed to include a rough digital sketch I made of Zuko annoying the shit out of Rei, but the file wouldn't cooperate. And yes, I'm so invested in this that I sketch out scenes and I WILL NOT stop.
> 
> PS: sorry for having our boy yeeted to the hospital but um..*checks notes written on her palm* ...plot.


	4. To Heal, to Endure, and to Suspect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Editing Mayo here,  
> When I first posted this chapter I was half asleep and stupidly forgot to add this in my opening notes:
> 
> I wanted to congratulate and support all those who partake in the BLM movement, each to their own ways. In my country, protests have not yet started due to fear of Covid-19, otherwise I would have picked up my cardboard sign and would head to the streets, since I'm not able to donate. It's truly inspirational and moving to see all those people coming together and taking a stand alongside victims of marginalisation, repression. My heart goes out to all of those who fight against injustice. We have a long way to go.  
> Keep fighting, make your voices heard, and most of all, stay safe!
> 
> -Mayo

A week into standard training and Zuko felt like death. 

He knew it would be harsh. Rei had warned him. But it turned out to be a whole other level of brutal that Zuko couldn't have even fathomed.

It wasn't the physical part of the training that made it so. It was the merciless Warrant Officers in charge of training them. The exercises in and on themselves weren't particularly harder than what Zuko practiced with the Lieutenant, nor was the amount of them incredibly exhausting. The difference was that the Warrants would pin the archers against each other to ignite some form of sickening competitive spirit in which they would either flourish or drown in. There was a constant fear curled up in each archer's heart that they wouldn't meet the expectations and they would end up dead on the field in "an unfortunate accident".

The Warrants didn't have to lay a hand on them to create that fear. The rumors and urban legends did the work for them. Yet, the worst thing an archer could do was show any kind of weakness. It was preferable that they failed to do the exercise all together rather than show weakness.

Whenever initiates were on the verge of fainting, the Warrant would simply lean over their heaving body and ask a simple question. 

_"Are you quitting?"_

Sheer terror surpassed the initiates' faces while they shook their heads in frantic refusal and forced themselves to stand up as if they were in perfect health. Zuko didn't wish to know what happened to those who did quit. 

He didn't worry too much about that though. The story of the little stunt he pulled, challenging Sergeant Kyra into a one-on-one, had made quite the tour around Pohuai. It traveled from mouth to mouth and soon enough Zuko found himself in possession of a reputation.

Some said he ran around in the Stronghold picking fights, like a turtle-crab unaware of its small size. Some others placed bets on how long he's going to last in training with that big mouth and snappy attitude of his. And some selective few thought highly of him. Thought that he had the appropriate...ehem..balls.

A mixed reputation, but a reputation all the same.

Apart from the sought-for reputation, the fight earned Zuko some other, much more unpleasant prizes. For example, a half-functioning muscle system.

His body was still shaken up during the first days of his training and he was ordered to follow a healing routine instructed by the nurses at the infirmary. Every day after his lunch he would climb up to the infirmary where he was given herbs and ointments he would have to make into tea. He hadn't drunk so much tea since before Iroh left the Royal Palace. 

"Make sure you don't burn it this time, Private." the nurse, who had treated him a week ago, pointed a judgemental finger at Zuko as she handed him the daily package.

Zuko huffed and pursed his lips.   
"It's harder without lighting the fire in my hand, alright?" he complained which caused the old woman to giggle sweetly.

"I think what you mean is 'it's harder when someone else doesn't do it for me'" she responded with a soft smile and Zuko crossed his arms over his chest.

Yes, that's precisely what he meant. Two weeks ago he didn't even have to wash his hair on his own, let alone brew his own tea. 

"Not the point." he rolled his eyes and slung his bow over his shoulders, prepared to head back to the training field for the rest of the afternoon. 

"You know," the nurse's voice stopped him in his tracks and he turned around to face her. "Sergeant Kyra has sent many trainees in my infirmary, but you are by far the most stubborn of them all."

Zuko bit the inside of his cheek to restrain himself from answering impolitely.  
"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, jaw clenched.

"Oh, well, you came here a week ago, looking like you had come back from a bloodbath and merely hours later you got back on your feet and walked out..." a small laugh escaped her while her hands busied themselves with some dirty bandages.  
"it's quite impressive, young man."

The passive compliment forced the tension to leave Zuko's body, yet he didn't know how to respond properly. If he came to think about it, no one's ever called him or his abilities impressive. It made him feel strange.

"Yes, well," he cleared his throat and straightened his back. "A broken nose doesn't permit me from holding a bow, so.." his voice trailed off as the woman spared a glance at the black bruising marking the center of his pale face.

"Right.," she remarked with squinted eyes and Zuko thought it was a sign to leave. 

He turned towards the door and walked out to meet Lieutenant Rei while the woman called out something between the lines of "don't push yourself too hard, Private!", though Zuko didn't pay much mind to it.

Rei and he exchanged a nod and then accompanied each other down the main entrance. All the while Zuko remained completely silent, the pack of herbs still in his hand for some reason. Was he indeed pushing himself too hard? Maybe he should lay back and recover before he hurts himself even worse.

No, no, there's no time for rest during training. He can rest in six months once he's received his official Yuyan colors and is welcome back at the Palace.

"Everything alright?" Rei glanced at him after a while of observing his furrowed eyebrow and stiff stance.

"I'm just...distracted," he answered, shoving the pack of herbs in the pocket of his tunic, and walked out of the Main entrance, slithering among the crowd.

Just as he was about to question the sudden accumulation of the archers in the first ring, he noticed a bunch of them surrounding a hung-up piece of paper on the stone wall. Using the quill and ink set beside it, they each signed their name on it in a fuss.

"What is this?" Zuko asked Rei, motioning to the scroll.

Immediately, Rei moved in front of him with a stern look.  
"No, no, no, I am not doing this again with you." he pointed his index right at Zuko's face and the Prince backed up in surprise.

"Do what? Are they setting up another match because I have no interest in going, trust me," he said and shifted his weight on his right leg. His curiosity was starting to get the better of him and he tried to look past Rei's short figure.

"Worse." the Lieutenant answered in all seriousness, Zuko not particularly enjoying the secrecy.

"You know I'm bound to find out sooner or later," he attempted reasoning with Rei, though he didn't seem to buy it. "you might as well just tell me now." 

"Your reverse psychology technique is one of the worst I've seen. I can literally see your leg tapping in nervousness." Rei nodded at Zuko's tapping boot with a raised eyebrow. He stopped the tapping right away.

"Fine," he spat and moved around the Lieutenant, heading right at the front of the crowd surrounding the list of names. He squinted his eyes to read the messy handwriting.

_Annual Ranking Trials_  
_Participation is not obligatory._  
_He who completes the trial first will be promoted onto the next rank by the approval of Colonel Shinu and his majesty the Fire Lord._  
_Trainees may sign their names bellow._

Lieutenant Rei snaked his hand around Zuko's relaxed arm and pulled him away from the crowd.  
"I know what you're thinking and I need you to stop," he said, resting his hands on the prince's shoulders to level his attention.

"I have to sign my name." Zuko fired back instantly, not even considering what Rei told him.

"No, Zuko, you don't!" Rei searched his face, an almost pleading look in his eyes.  
It was one of the few rimes Rei had called him by name and not some stupid nickname.

"You don't even know how it works, or what that test is!"

 _By the approval of the Fire Lord._  
If he finishes the test first then he will mount to the next rank with the approval of his father, meaning he could receive his colors early and head back home. 

Zuko couldn't help but construct a scene in his head, where a messenger hawk arrived at Caldera Palace delivering a formal letter that spoke of his success. His father's reaction as it was being read to him. The small satisfied smirk that would display at his face. The same one that he wore whenever Azula outmatched her firebending masters. The one that he never got to receive himself.

He had to sign his name.

"Then you better start telling me fast, because I'm going to get my name on that scroll even if I have to crawl out of your dead grasp to do so." Zuko turned to Rei, a kind of glimmer in his eyes that almost made him stumble back.

He'd never seen his roommate look so determined and intimidating at the same time.

"Suicide. That's what it is." Rei attempted one last time to change Zuko's mind but that fearful look on his face didn't shift. Rei sighed in defeat and started explaining.

"It's more of a race than a test. They set up a track in the back of the training field, full of obstacles you have to overcome using your physical strength, a bow, and arrows. There will be something you need to do once you reach the end, probably something to shoot at. The first person who gets the shot ranks up."

"And why is it suicide?" Zuko questioned, now much calmer.

"Let's forget for a moment that the track itself is a death trap," Rei raised a hand to push his hair away from his face in frustration. "all ranking members bellow Warrant Officers are allowed to participate, not just initiates, oh and- how could I forget- you're given the right to shoot at your opponents!"

Rei was almost screaming by the end of his exposition, looking up at Zuko with widened eyes hoping he would see reason. Zuko, on the other hand, could see nothing but the imaginary letter of recommendation for a promotion sent on his behalf. 

"I don't care," he said to the Lieutenant with his chin held high and Rei was all but ready to grab Zuko into a chokehold. 

Why was he so adamant about Zuko getting staying on the safe side of things? This is the army, there's no point trying to shield him from any form of evil. Zuko is capable of making his own choices.

"We will finish this conversation later, I have a training session that requires my presence." he raised a hand in the space between them and left Rei's sight, his jaw locked and tongue dripped in irony.

Luckily he got to his training station a few seconds before the Warrants arrived, so no one noticed he was partially late. Zuko was prepared to get his bow in his hand when the Warrants subtly signed for the training group to follow them back into the fort. Everyone, not just Zuko, seemed a bit confused but none dared to question the orders. 

The troop consisted of teens around Zuko's age, got in formation, and paced behind the Warrants' heels. They got into the building and down to the basement, further away from the dorms. One of the Warrants pushed a door open and stepped aside, waiting for the colorless recruits to enter the carpeted room. 

It was a meditation chamber, in which sat several other full-fledged Yuyan, outside his troop. 

Zuko followed the actions of the person in front of him, trying to get a clue about what was going on. He found a spot for himself and sat down, aligned with the rest of the archers. The same Warrant that opened the door, pulled a tiny bottle out of his robe's sleeve and tipped the contents into the essential oil defuser at the front of the room.

"Meditate," he ordered flatly before exiting the room, leaving the trainees inside to oblige.

Meditation? That should be easy enough. Zuko had to go through hours upon hours of it before he started his Fire bending lessons, to make up for his lack of self-control.

 _"Firebending derives from the breath."_ and all that tedious philosophies.

He always had trouble in making his fire abide by his will and that earned him endless hours of meditation. When he would break the cycle by either opening his eyes or yawning, he would receive a slap at the back of his head by his master, at the very best.

He stretched his back muscles and let all the negative, polluting energy to flow out of his body with each breath. There was a lot of it, much to his dismay, and it took some time for Zuko to fall into the appropriate trance. At the start, each time his chest rose in a deep breath, a numbing pain shot across his ribs, reminding him of his injuries.

He allowed the sweet aroma of whatever the Warrant spilled into the diffuser, to conquer his senses. He finally managed to find his rhythm, now properly meditating. Once his body started relaxing, he was interrupted by a cough. He clicked his tongue at the roof of his mouth, not wishing to open his eyes to search for the source of the sound. 

The person coughed again. 

Zuko completely broke his form and opened his eyes in annoyance.   
He was certainly surprised by the sigh he was met with once he did. 

Almost every single trainee was trembling in what looked like intense pain. Some had even doubled over and rolled onto the floor, cradling themselves in utter agony while trying to remain silent. The person who had interrupted Zuko's meditation was now in a full coughing spree that made him wonder if their lungs would suddenly pop out along with their coughs. 

"What in Agni's name is going on?" he wondered out loud, jumping to his feet. 

He rushed over the side of the nearest suffering archer and kneeled next to them, trying to figure out if the source of the pain was external. The archer weakly pushed Zuko away, barely able to form a full sentence without it being intruded by a cough. 

"Don't..." cough, "help.." double cough, "anyone."

Zuko's eyes squinted in confusion, but he kept his hand to himself nevertheless.  
"Why is everyone hurting?" he asked frantically, only to be shushed by a nearby voice.

Zuko whipped his head around and locked his eyes on Sergeant Kyra who sat beside his previous spot. She still attempted to hold her meditation form, though Zuko could clearly see her struggle through her knitted eyebrows and beads of sweat that run down her forehead. 

Zuko got up and went back in his place, fully turning his body towards her.   
"What is this?" he whispered in an attempt to be discreet.

Kyra made one last effort to keep her eyes closed and focus on her form but it ended up in her gasping and letting her chest meet the floor in front of her.  
"Keep-" she panted through the pain. "q-quiet." 

Zuko was too preoccupied to get bitter at her ordering tone. He looked around at the other archers that tossed and turned while groaning as if they were being tortured by an invisible spirit. 

"Can someone please explain to me what on earth is happening?" he asked, a horrified, yet irritated frown etched on his lips.

"This...this is poison endurance," Kyra grunted and clenched the matt within her grasp, her teeth gritting uncontrollably.

Zuko blinked in surprise and his gaze settled on the oil diffuser pouring out a pure, white fog that engulfed the room. He put two and two together, realizing the oil that the Warrant had put in it was poisonous, meant to be breathed by the initiates. 

What for? To train their bodies against it? To teach them how to mediate expertly, to the point where they are completely detached from the world and can't even feel the power of the poison? To kill off those who couldn't handle it? 

Zuko sighed and closed his eyes in realization.   
"The poison is airborne, that's why it doesn't affect me," he spoke quietly, more to himself than anyone else.

"Nobody asked." Kyra coughed violently, interrupting herself. "Also...what?" 

Zuko turned his head towards her suffering figure in distaste.  
"I'm a firebender," he said, as though it was self-explanatory. "I can literally breathe fire. My lungs can't be polluted by whatever the fuck that is," he threw a hand towards the oil defuser and only later realized that he cursed.

Zuko rarely cursed. It was not appropriate for the Crown Prince to have a foul mouth. and so whatever knowledge he had of curse words, had never excited his mouth. Not until now, at least.  
The Lieutenant must be rubbing off on him.

Another hush was thrown at Zuko, coming from a couple of suffering archers that stared at his healthy state with envy. He shook his head and slumped back to his crossed-leg posture. Admittedly, he was partly disappointed that he couldn't participate in the exercise along with the rest of them. Though, judging by the pain drawn on their faces, he had dodged an arrow. 

"That mambo jumbo helped you get out of the hospital bed so fast?" Kyra turned her head to look at Zuko, her eyes squinted and her eyebrows furrowed in pain as her head pressed against the matt. 

Zuko felt that talking to Kyra was bizarre. He wasn't used to her fearsome figure owning a voice. As he was thinking of this, Zuko took in her tortured frame. She looked to be in great distress and, for a singular moment, he contemplated asking her if she needed his help. But then he remembered who he was talking to and he averted his gaze, all nerve. 

"Wished I stayed there a bit longer?" he bit back, not answering her question. She looked away and started coughing again.

"No," Kyra simply grunted, something that made Zuko's expression soften and shift from anger to suspicion.  
  
Her body rolled over to her back, messing up the neat low bun her hair was styled into. She took a couple of deep breaths, trying to rid herself of the agonizing pain.

"Just... don't let them know you can't feel it" she let out a sigh, seeming to gain better control over the ache. "...pretend you're suffering when the Warrants return."

"That's..." his voice trailed off as he watched some of the other archers get back in their meditating positions. 

The poison seemed to slowly wear off. Good. Zuko wasn't sure for how much longer he could stand watching the archers suffer without helping them for the sake of competition.

"That's cheating," he stated and straightened his back. "It's not honorable."

"Ah," Kyra murmured and got back to a sitting position herself. "what's a born and bred Fire Nation boy without his honor?" 

Zuko was about to retort something fairly impudent but he was left with an open mouth when the door opened, revealing the two Warrant Officers. Anyone who hadn't still recovered from the poison forced themselves in a sitting posture once the Officers entered. They strutted among the archers, eyes surveilling over them, catching even the faintest of trembles and shivers that run down their spines.

It made Zuko sick. Watching over them, searching for any sign of weakness, terrorizing them. Azula was right about one thing; Death awaits in Pohuai Stronghold. And Zuko better make sure it will keep waiting for him and not trap him in his grasp.

When one of them approached him, Zuko sat completely still, no longer debating whether he should alert them of his advantage on the situation. Yes, it was cheating. But what the Officers did to them was far worse and Zuko wasn't eager on giving them more ground to step on him. He'd lost every ounce of respect he once had for the trainers of the Yuyan. The folktales failed to mention that cruelty amongst Yuyan wasn't solely directed at their enemies, but at their own soldiers as well.

The Warrant hovering over him leaned to the side, wanting to catch a glimpse of Zuko's unwavering gaze. Zuko took Kyra's advice. His body stiffened and he didn't say a word. 

"Dismissed." both of the Warrants spoke in unison and on cue the initiates all but run for the door. A couple of them headed straight for the common showers while others weren't patient enough and vomited in the hallway. 

Zuko walked through them with a disgusted expression, careful not to step on anything other than the clean section of the floor. Sergeant Kyra brushed past his shoulder, picked up her bow, and swiftly walked out of there, not as careful as to where she was stepping. 

A thought crossed Zuko's mind. A thought that translated into "thank you". However, as Zuko raised his bow to his shoulders, a string of pain jabbed at his ribs, reminding him of everything else Kyra had given him besides useful advice.

He decided not to voice his thought. She hadn't earned it.

He narrated the story of his first poison endurance class to the Lieutenant, over a delicious dinner of extra spicy fire noodles. He chose to leave out his conversation with Sergeant Kyra, but that didn't stop Rei from enjoying the story regardless.   
They later managed to sneak past the Watchdogs and make their way to the old tower. Rei seemed to drag Zuko along his and his friends' hangouts a lot lately.

Despite Zuko's denial of it, Lieutenant Rei's company had started growing on him. Not that he would consider him a friend of his (he wasn't there to make friends), but he was...well, tolerable.

"And then he hits me with the; 'We should do it again sometime.'" Takiyo's voice echoed even from outside the tower. 

Rei rolled his eyes as he knocked on the door thrice, waiting for Chopstick to wrap up the story and open up. 

"Good, you need to hear this." he huffed and pulled both of them in.  
"Where was I? Oh yeah, can you believe the audacity? The nerve?" Takiyo whipped his head towards Naoki, eyes wide in waiting for her to agree with him.

"Chopstick," she started sweetly and he frowned at the nickname. "have you ever thought about how when someone asks you to spend time with them, it means they like you?" 

"Of course I did," Takiyo threw his hands around in exasperation. "That's the whole reason I'm mad- have you been listening?" 

He sat back down to one of the chairs, trying and failing to light up his kiseru. It was his thing, Zuko had come to realize. Whenever Takiyo was on edge or didn't know what to do with his hands, he started smoking.

He wasted at least three matches, all blown out by the intense wind before Zuko unconsciously reached and lit the pipe with a snap of his fingers. Takiyo muttered a hasty 'thank you' before leaning back to the chair, enjoying his tobacco in peace.

This was the first time in over two weeks that Zuko has used his bending. He stared at his fingers briefly for a moment before a flitting smile crossed his lips. He'd lit a fire (even as small) without terror reigning in his heart and he had done it habitually. 

"Hey, I saw that!" Rei pointed a finger at Zuko and for a moment he froze in place. That's when the Lieutenant cracked a wide smile, implying he was only joking and Zuko relaxed.

"As for you, Chopstick," he turned to Takiyo and ruffled his perfect hair before taking a seat next to him. "one day you'll have to let a person sleep in your bed for more than once, you know?" 

Takiyo wheezed out a laugh.   
"What are you my father or something?" he said and playfully blew smoke into Rei's face, who waved his palm to clear it up.

"As if you'd know what fatherhood looks like." Rei fired back and all fell silent.

Zuko found that comment to be especially harsh and it seemed that Naoki thought the same, given that she let out a small gasp. Takiyo remained quiet for a moment and merely gazed upon the Lieutenant intensely, before...breaking into fits of laughter. 

The two joined each other in a laughing spree and Zuko was partly relieved. He wasn't up for witnessing a fight between Chopstick and the Lieutenant at such proximity.

"Good one," Takiyo's laugh died down with a sigh. "but I'm still not taking your advice." he pointed between Rei and Naoki, who seemed disappointed. 

"No surprise there," Naoki mumbled with a pout, making it known that she often consulted Takiyo, although he never listened. 

Yet he still kept asking for Naoki's advice. That, to Zuko, seemed pointless.

"Zuko what do you think?" Naoki turned to him with bright eyes, in hopes that he would support her opinion.

"How you spend your nights is none of my business." he dismissed the conversation on his part, feeling like he didn't yet know any of them well enough to be handing out advice.

And even if he did, who Takiyo lets in his bed, was still none of Zuko's concern, nor would he like it to be. What he really wished to talk about was the Ranking Trials but Rei had already shut down the subject at least three times by then. He should wait for a while before pestering Rei about it again.

"See!" the young man in question exclaimed, glad that at least one of them wished to keep their nose out of his business.   
"I like a man who knows when to shut up." he pointed out and cast Zuko a toothy smirk.

He gawked, resulting in a squeaky noise coming out of his mouth. At this, Takiyo let out a soft laugh which made Zuko sink into his chair in slight embarrassment. 

Zuko had come to realize that he somewhat relished being around them, even though he kept quiet most of the time. Yes, they intimidated him at times, being older, more skilled, and more respected among the Stronghold that he'd ever be. However, their company created an ambiance Zuko felt comfortable around.

He had never experienced this with a person close to his age. There was a time when Azula would radiate the same ambiance while they were playing together in the gardens, but that was well over a decade ago and there was no way he'd ever try to revive that era now.

The group's giggles were cut short by a firm knock on the iron door of the tower. Their eyes widened, and upon Rei's signal, they all fell dead silent. It was way past bunk time, meaning whoever was caught awake and outside their dorm, would be facing punishment. The Lieutenant slowly approached the door and creaked it open, only by a slit.

The silhouette of Sergeant Kyra emerged from the shadow of the door, sporting a bored look with raised eyebrows. Everyone let out a sigh of relief upon seeing her. Everyone except Zuko, who instead tensed in his seat.

"Thank the Spirits it's you," Rei told her, moving away from the door. "Any other Watchdog would have snitched on us at the speed of a flying arrow."

"I didn't say I was going to cover for you...again," Kyra responded with hands crossed over her chest. 

Rei tsked as he sat back down on his chair.   
"But you will though, won't you?" he cocked his head to the side, a look that Zuko had never seen on him, painted on his face.

It was a playful plea, delivered in such a comfortable manner, Zuko found himself wondering how could Rei ever have that ease while talking to Kyra. Had he missed something?

Kyra stared down at the pleading look with a scowl that reminded Zuko too much of his own. He shook his head, wanting to get the idea of the resemblance out of it.

"Fine. Though, you owe me one, sir." Kyra said and Rei's smile grew tenfold. 

"How about you come sit with us and we call it even." he grinned, at which Zuko's head whipped to look at him with wide eyes.

He abided to most of Rei's instructions and rules without any question (as he should), but that was one step too far for Zuko. Having Kyra sit within his personal space along with people he was actually fond of, didn't sit well with him. Not at all. 

Kyra seemed to notice this as she dragged her gaze along Zuko's tense figure, from the top of his shaved head to the sole of his boots. His body language wasn't hard to read, nor was his negative head-shake directed at Rei.

"Ask me again the next time I bust you." she retorted, before unfolding her hands and swinging the door shut. 

Neither Takiyo nor Naoki said anything about the exchange, making Zuko think he was the only one who found it peculiar. He wasn't used to being very observant concerning other people's actions between themselves. Azula was the one who could figure out if two of her maids were having an affair just by the way they greeted each other in the halls. 

Rei, though, was a person he observed a lot. Whether it was because he was half-interested in him as a person, or because Rei simply mixed himself into every possible aspect of Zuko's current daily life. Either way, he considered himself capable of recognizing Rei's behavioral patterns. He was friendly, yet stern and serious when it came to his job as the Lieutenant. He was also studious but not quite the humourous guy he'd like to think he is. Supportive and encouraging, though sometimes overbearing and unnecessarily protective.

The turtle-duck eyes and playful grin didn't fit among any of those traits.

Finally, after a good hour of pondering over it, Zuko couldn't help but ask Rei about it while he was trying to fall asleep. 

"Do you like Sergeant Kyra?" his head popped up from the top of his bunk, hanging upside down like a bat.

Rei squinted his eyes at him, no doubt bewildered by his behavior.  
"So, that's why you were so silent earlier?" he asked rubbing the sleepiness off his features.

"Answer my question and I can return to being silent again." Zuko jumped down from the bunk and took a crossed-legged seat on the carpeted floor.

Rei sighed and sat up, realizing Zuko would not leave the subject alone until he got the answer he wanted. Just like he did with most things he was stubborn about. 

"I respect Sergeant Kyra and admire her abilities as an archer. She is a valuable member of the Yuyan and-"

"That's not what I asked, sir." Zuko interrupted with a straight face, taking the opportunity to half-mock Rei over the use of formalities.

There was a pause during which they both gave each other knowing looks and different kinds of eyebrow raises. Zuko's scarred left side essentially handed him victory and Rei was forced to give him the answers he sought.

"No, I do not see Kyra in that manner." he simply stated, shutting down the conversation.   
"Besides, she's too young for me."

Zuko did the math in his head and remembered how Rei told him that when Kyra first arrived was fourteen and that was three years ago. That makes her some months older than Zuko, and four years younger than Rei.

"That didn't stop you from... flirting with her?" Zuko asked, the word 'flirting' not feeling at home in his mouth.

"I wasn't flirting!" he exclaimed, in his defense. "It was just friendly banter."

"When did you two become so friendly?" Zuko scrunched his face, realizing he partly sounded like a spoilt child but not caring in the slightest.

"Zuko, I've known her for years, and being friendly is like...my whole personality." Rei laughed the subject off and Zuko looked down at him with squinted eyes, trying to figure out how much truth his statement held.

"You can calm down now," Rei shook his head in amusement. "Even if I did like her, I would never pursue her. It would never work between me and her." 

Zuko was mildly confused as to what Rei meant. Work in the sense of what? 

"I don't get it." he said. "In a hypothetical scenario, where you were fond of Kyra...you wouldn't want to be with her?" 

"Have you ever had a girlfriend, Zuko?" Rei asked, not clarifying anything just yet.

He was taken a tad bit aback by the question.  
"Yes- I mean, well...not anymore but yes," he stumbled on his own words. "Why are we talking about me again?" 

"We never talk about you," Rei remarked, rotating in his place so he could properly face Zuko. Oh, so now he was interested in their chat?   
"C'mon, tell me about her." he urged.

A flitting image of Mai came in Zuko's mind, inspired by their last exchange. Her, storming out of his bedroom and slamming her door behind her in pure fury. Then him, throwing a porcelain vase on the wall, and spending a good hour trying to glue the pieces back together in regret.

It wasn't always like that between them. Most of the time they simply indulged in each other's quiet company, something that Zuko appreciated immensely. Yes, they would bicker a lot, but it was always about stupid, unimportant things that he now wished he had ignored. 

At the end of the day, though, Mai was the only person able to conjure Zuko's rare smile. And he was hers.

"Her name is Mai and um...we were childhood friends. Well, she was my sister's childhood friend but I never knew why, she wasn't like Azula at all, except for maybe her morbid humor, but she pulled it off way better-" Zuko rambled, for a moment forgetting he was talking to the Lieutenant.

"Wait-" Rei interrupted him with a lifted hand. "You were dating the daughter of governor Ukano?" he asked, eyes wide.

"Yes."  
Zuko slightly surprised that Rei knew Mai. Her family was shockingly wealthy and well- known among the Fire Nation noble circle, though the Lieutenant was far from belonging in that circle, being a non-bender born in the colonies.

"I've met her," Rei smiled in surprise. "I was head of the guard for her father's transport in Omashu. Her name ringed a bell but it wasn't until you mentioned her humor that I made the connection."

"What would you know of her humor?" Zuko snapped lightly, growing suspicious. 

A small laugh escaped the Lieutenant when he caught Zuko's reaction. It told him more about the boy than anything he let on about him could.

"Easy there, tigerdillo." he teased Zuko, who frowned evidently. "It's just that when I jokingly asked her if she was excited about her vacation, she answered in the most monotone voice 'yeah, can't you see I'm dying of joy'."

Zuko's frown was erased and reluctantly replaced with a shy smile. Yes, that did sound like Mai, indeed. 

"And you were dating?" Rei repeated and Zuko nodded in confirmation.   
"How? I mean you're so stubborn and opinionated...dare I say have a fiery personality," he snapped his fingers at his own joke and waited for Zuko to laugh. He did not and Rei swallowed thickly before continuing.  
"and she's...a bit catatonic?" 

Zuko turned his head away from the conversation. He knew he and Mai were two drastically different characters yet he had never once thought about how that could affect their relationship. All he knew and cared about was that he liked her and they made each other happy...when they weren't stepping on each other's throats, that is.

Yeah, he kind of saw the issue here.

"That's where you're getting at, then?" he looked at Rei again. "That you would never date Kyra because your personalities are not compatible?"

"That, and the fact that I would constantly fear for my life." he pointed out and Zuko silently agreed. 

"And you'd be laughing at your own jokes too," Zuko said, with the tiniest of smiles playing at his lips as he climbed on top of the bunk.   
"but then again, that's what you're already doing," he mumbled, hoping Rei didn't hear him and he settled within his heavy blankets.

A pillow forcefully slapped his face, causing him to get up with a start, followed by the Lieutenant's obnoxiously loud laughter. 

"Fuck you too, Private."


	5. A Good Mood

One of the things Zuko discovered in Pohuai was that he had an awful habit of not sleeping.

This time it was neither the discomfort of the bed nor the chill temperature of the basement that bothered him. It was his thoughts and made up scenarios that were beginning to scream way too loud inside his head, begging for him to make them reality. 

The Lieutenant had shut those scenarios down on multiple occasions, in multiple different ways and for a second, just this one second Zuko thought that maybe he's right.  
Maybe Zuko is way in over his head and doesn't know how to swim after all. Maybe there's no way for him to win the trials, or even survive them and he would end up being taken down by the other, superior players.

This one second passed, and the thoughts that it bore vanished along with it.   
If Zuko was to die, he would die trying to get that red paint on his messed up face.

It was the middle of the night and Rei was already fast asleep. Zuko would admit that he felt bad sneaking out of their room to defy Rei's orders once again, but he got over it as soon as he walked into the hallway. The Lieutenant put too much faith in him and that was perhaps his biggest flaw. He should just accept that Zuko will not conform to any orders that clash with his personal agenda, no matter who they come from and how fond of them he is.

Not that he's fond of Lieutenant Rei, of course. He can stomach him...but that's it.

Lurking in the shadows to avoid the Watchdogs was easier than expected. Most of them were particularly bored at this time of the night and didn't put actual effort in guarding the halls. Besides, the only place that needed serious guarding was the prisons and Colonel Shinu's chambers at the top floors of the Stronghold, and Zuko was sure they had higher ranking Officers do the guarding.

He slyly walked out of the main entrance and straight in front of the petition for the trials, still glued to the stone wall of the first ring.  
He took a flitting look at the names signed on the scrunched paper and recognized a few, either because he'd heard them being called in the mess hall, or the dorm hallway, or perhaps because he knew the people they belonged to, like Corporal Eichi and Sergeant Kyra.

As much as he hated the feeling, seeing Eichi's and Kyra's names planted a certain fear in Zuko. Eichi's because he was out to get him, and his presence would surely distract Zuko during the race, making him focus on winning him, rather than winning in general.

Kyra's name...well...that was self-explanatory. He'd experienced first hand what she was capable of. He still had an aching reminder of her skills right at his face and ribs. Racing alongside her was an intimidating prospect.

His right hand slowly reached for the quill but stopped itself mid-way. Hesitation took over him for a moment and an all familiar dreading terror settled on the pit of his stomach. Suddenly, he could feel his determination slowly crumbling to pieces. How _pathetic_...

He fully turned away from the paper and walked out to the darkness-infested training field with no real destination at first. Lieutenant Rei had talked about how there was a track being set in the back of the field and that's where the race took place. He'd called it a death trap. Zuko decided on seeing it for himself and perhaps that would spark his determination once more. It had to.

He stuck close to the looming shadows of the bridges that went over the field, making sure to avoid any prying eyes that could spot him from the watchtowers. Once he got around the back, he easily spotted the construction set near the stronghold's pond. Zuko had wondered what use could be a pond in the back of the training field, ever since he ran around it on his first day. Now he knew.

"There's no changing your mind is there?" 

Zuko nearly jumped in place, startled by Rei's ghost of a voice. He turned around to face the Lieutenant, coughing to hide his surprised gasp. 

"You almost did, if that's of any consolation," he muttered in admittance. Agni, how he hated being in the wrong.

Rei sighed, like he so often did when facing a quarrel with Zuko, and stood beside him, looking forward to the track. Zuko noticed the construction was far from finished, however, the skeleton of a climbing wall could be made out in the dark. His gaze traced over the entirety of the track whilst his mind worked to find a way past the obstacles.

"It's the same every year, more or less..." Rei broke the silence that engulfed them, staring upon the track in an almost painful way. "...they may add some grotesque detail, like the flesh-eating piranhas last year, but the essence is the same."

A lump rose to Zuko's throat at the mere thought of swimming alongside bloodthirsty fishes but he didn't comment on it. Instead, he let Rei finish. He owed him that much.

Rei stretched his arm at the right side of the track.   
"You start there," he pointed at the spot, Zuko following the path laid by his hand. "A couple of feet at the front there will be bows, arrows, and rope, up for the taking. But not enough for everyone, so you'll have to fight for them."

He paused and walked a little closer, gesturing to the wall that stood between the starting point and the pond.   
"You'll have to get over this wall obviously," he said and spared Zuko an over-the-shoulder glance. "There are many ways to do it, but don't underestimate the effort it takes to do so. It will weaken you unless you do it swiftly and smartly."

Weakness. Zuko couldn't afford that if he wanted to survive the race, let alone win it. He listened to Rei's explanations very carefully, taking mental notes of every insightful advice he gave. 

"And then, there's the pond." Rei's hands fell at his sides and he looked at the black-seeming water for a moment too long.   
"They will set up a path so you can go over it, some wooden peddles perhaps. Some will try to go over it, but it will only waste their time since it will be impossible to pass." 

"So you'll have to jump in the water?" Zuko voiced his concerns, without necessarily doubting Rei's advice. "Piranhas and all?" 

"Yes," Rei answered bluntly and moved passed the pond.   
"I can't tell you what obstacle they will set up after that, but it will be the only thing standing in between you and the final shot." he showcased the far off the imaginary end of the track. "There will be archers who will attempt to take the shot from afar and they will succeed but you need to pass all the obstacles before you do so."

Rei walked back to Zuko with an unreadable expression. Was it anger? No something more subtle than that. Irritation? No, it wasn't that either. It certainly rendered Rei's features serious and unwavering, yet in some way sentimental. It felt strange seeing him this way, let alone he hasn't cracked half a failing joke since he got here. It was unsettling.

"Why are you telling me this?" Zuko asked, a bit sharply.

Rei pursed his lips and crossed his arms over his chest, somewhat annoyed that he had to spell it out for Zuko.  
"Last time I tried to keep you from doing some stupid shit it didn't go so well," he nodded at Zuko's bruised nose and cut lip. The prince scowled in response.

"I figured this time I should at least give you some advice before you jump straight to your death."

Zuko's lips curled into a rare crooked smile, though they quickly shifted back to a thin line once the Lieutenant raised his gaze to his face. Zuko recognized the effort it took Rei to allow him to be stubborn like this, and he appreciated it. Even though he had every right to be stubborn and have a death wish, it was nice having someone to warn him when he'd gotten too far. This used to be Iroh's duty in his life, though now he was too far to hide Zuko under his wing.

"In two conditions." Rei raised a finger and Zuko's eyes rolled, like someone who knew it wouldn't be that easy. He flipped his hand and gave an awkward nod, allowing Rei to continue.

"You let me train you privately again, every morning before your standard training."

If it meant increasing his chances of winning, Zuko didn't have the slightest objection. Working hard was his strongest point.  
"And the second?" he asked, hoping it wouldn't be something too outrageous.

"Tell me _why_ ," Rei responded immediately.

Zuko's face twisted in a puzzled expression. "Why what?"

"You...you have this insane drive to prove everyone wrong," Rei started, his hands moving animatedly, making it seem as though he was strangely impressed.   
"you yearn for someone to challenge you and you don't stop until you've completed the challenge. I want to know why."

Zuko fell silent. He had never sat down to flesh himself out in that way. What Rei called a 'drive to prove everyone wrong', Zuko saw as ambition. For a moment, he entertained the idea and realized that, yes, his intense purpose always came from a place of competition against what others thought of him. For the longest time, his best and his only competitor was Azula. But now, it was everyone. And he felt the need to raise himself in their eyes. Especially his family's, which was what brought him here in the first place. Essentially, that's what Lieutenant Rei wished to know.

"You know that I was sent here by my father," he stated, putting an effort to keep his voice calm and collected. "You know what happened even before that. Everyone knows."

He paused, taking a deep breath. Could he not even talk about it? Could he not mention that forsaken day without the child-like tremble in his voice and the tears that threatened to form in his eyes? He refused to believe he was _that_ weak, and so he swallowed thickly and continued with a straight face.

"The deal was that if I could get through your ways of training and receive the Yuyan colors, that I could return home. That if I prove myself free of my weakness, I could be a worthy successor to the throne..."

It wasn't a coincidence that Zuko had suggested he trained with the Yuyan. They were known for many things such as their extraordinary aim, their fighting skills, their cruelty, and most of all their ability to vanquish weakness from the hearts of their trainees. Offering himself to their mercy was the first thing that came to Zuko's mind as he kneeled before the presence of his father, tears streaming down his newly scarred face.

"If I win the trials, I will be promoted and will receive my colors. I can go home." 

Rei's expression had softened in a way that made Zuko's body feel transparent. As though anyone could read right through him. He immediately hated the sensation and lightly shivered to get rid of it. 

He waited to see any kind of sign that the Lieutenant was satisfied with the answers he got, but there was none. Without acknowledging any of what Zuko said, he cast a tight and somewhat insincere smile, and he started walking back to the main entrance.

Zuko was not sure if he wanted him to respond or not, but he knew for sure that he felt grateful for the silence at the moment. Without further objection, Zuko followed Rei back out of the second ring, deciding to break the tangible tension between them with a question.

"By the way," he whispered as they pressed their backs against the stone wall. "I figured it out."

Rei's eyebrows raised in question when he turned to look at Zuko.   
"Figured what out?"

"You," Zuko answered plainly, a call-back to their conversation when he first met Takiyo and Naoki. 

He had asked Rei what his deal was and the answer was ambiguous. 'You'll figure it out soon enough' he said. It took some time and a little extra observation but Zuko figured him out.

"The Yuyan don't obey you because they fear you as I thought at first. Nor do they respect you just because of your rank..." Zuko's voice trailed off as they sneak-walked their way inside the first ring.

"It's because they like you." 

Rei couldn't help but let out a chuckle at Zuko's discovery. Of course, Zuko knew other factors came to play, regarding the Lieutenant's image. Such as his skill, and his booming voice that didn't match with his unintimidating hight, however, the one important factor that Zuko missed all this time, was that he was likable. 

Zuko himself fell for the ingenious trap, at times not being able to reject Rei's orders or demands. Why? Because he just asked so nicely, and with a tone that was either laced with care for others or with humor and Zuko just- he felt bad for trying to object. Rei was simply too likable.

"Is that something you figured out from personal experience?" Rei squinted his eyes at Zuko, while the tiny smirk that played on his lips made the prince look away in embarrassment.

Maybe.

"Of course not," he replied, arms crossed over his chest. Although he wasn't looking, he could feel Rei's smirk widen in self-satisfaction. 

"How did you follow me without me catching you, anyway?" Zuko diverted the conversation elsewhere, in hopes that Rei would forget all about Zuko's embarrassed pout.

The Lieutenant rolled his eyes.  
"I have been training in the art of stealth since the age of fourteen," he answered, as though it was obvious, something that egged Zuko just a bit.   
"How did you manage to sneak under the nose of Yuyan guards?"

Zuko shrugged and set his gaze on the petition for the trials, calling to him behind Rei's short figure. He walked towards it, no reluctance in his steps this time, and signed his name on the bottom in perfect calligraphy.

"I have been training in the art of avoiding my sister since the age of eight."

Rei laughed again, this time a tad bit louder than he should have, and they both ushered inside the building before any Watchdogs decided to do their jobs.  
Zuko had managed to catch about four hours of sleep,( which was way more than he had bargained for) when he was woken up by the piercing sound of the morning bell. 

Running up and down the hallway from his dorm to the showers, to the staircase had become a daily routine and he no longer grumbled while doing it. He'd even learned how to tie the linen belt around his midriff on his own without forming any unflattering creases. Small tasks like that, which Zuko was now able to perform without the help of any servant, made his confidence shoot upwards every day by a little. 

He squished in between the archers fighting for a good view of the mirror, in order to shave the few and apart, premature hairs on his upper lip. When he caught a glimpse of his reflection, he was met with a peculiar sight.

He was _smiling._

It wasn't too wide or bright. Just a slim upturn of his lips and a certain glimmer in his eyes. It wasn't too bad to look at if he was being honest. He couldn't quite put his finger on why he was smiling this way or when was the last time he did, though he didn't pay much thought to it.  
Zuko's rare narcissistic side jumped out for a second as he took another flitting look at his cheering expression, before bolding out of the showers.

He wasn't supposed to hit the training field for at least another two hours, but since he had agreed on more private training with Rei, he would have to get out there extra early. A training overload was the least of his worries, and besides, training with Rei was sort of...fun? 

What was wrong with him today? Wherever came this positive attitude from? 

A kind of tingling sensation coursed through his body as he picked up his bow from its usual stand. It reminded Zuko of his first fire bending lesson or the day he was gifted his first pair of dao blades. It was the same sensation that overpowered him as he stood outside the enormous, double doors of the Fire Lord's military chambers, fixing and straightening his ponytail and shoulder pads in mania, only a few weeks ago.

It was excitement. And for his sake, he hoped he wouldn't regret letting his guard down because of it. 

"Oi, Sparky!" a voice called to him that made Zuko stop at his tracks, already feeling his blood boiling. 

He snapped his head towards Eichi and his group of equally annoying and pompous friends. They welcomed his death-stare with crossed arms and amused grins. Zuko stiffened, straightening his posture.

"I thought I saw your name on the petition for the ranking Trials, but that couldn't be right could it?" he asked in pretense innocence. "No initiates without Yuyan colors have ever signed up before."

Zuko thought it wasn't too late. He could still get out of this situation without any more broken bones but with grace, and his good mood still intact. On the other hand, Eichi did step on Zuko's very last nerve with his taunting and he needed to bite back, at some point or another.

"Maybe if you didn't keep looking at the list to prey on your opponents we wouldn't be having this conversation," he responded with all the calm he could muster.

His answer aroused a few whistles from the passing archers, something that made Eichi's taunting smile twitch ever so slightly. Even though he was offended, Zuko bet he was loving the attention their banter was starting to receive. Eichi was definitely the type to blossom under the limelight and his constant surrounding of people that encouraged his behavior only proved this further.

"Maybe if you knew your place, I wouldn't have to remind you of it either." Eichi spat, a trace of a smile still lingering on his face though it was now overshadowed by his hard glare.

Screw the excitement. Zuko's good mood had inevitably been spoilt and the only way it could be repaired was by shutting Eichi's mouth up.

"What's your problem?" Zuko snapped, taking a daring step forward.  
Eichi had it out for him since day one and it was time he learned why. 

"My problem?" Eichi asked, placing an open palm on his chest just as he matched Zuko's step. "Well, my problem is that you think you can waltz in here and play soldier, all because Daddy Dearest allowed you to."

Zuko's mind went blank right there.   
All he could see was red, clouding not only his vision but his judgment.

So that what it was then? Eichi threw the worst kind of dirt on his name, taunted and teased Zuko ever since he stepped foot in Pohuai, all because he was simply...jealous? 

Jealous of his privileges as a royal? Jealous of his ability to join the army whenever he pleased? Oh well then, Zuko could make sure Eichi got to experience some of his other royal privileges. Curtesy of his dear father...

Without so much as a second thought he raised his heated fist, ready to strike and burn Eichi's entitled expression to crisps, consequences be damned. Eichi prepared to backfire, drawing a sharpened, stiletto out of his sleeve. 

Just as they were about to meet each other's attacks in a clash of hot fury, a certain voice overpowering the gasps of the crowd, cried out loud.

"Enough!"

Both Eichi and Zuko froze at the sound, their robes clutched in each other's tight grasps. Zuko's muscles relaxed and the power he had built to light a flame in his hand, evaporated before he could create the fire. Eichi still held his stiletto dangerously close to Zuko's face, yet his head had turned away, no longer looking at him.

"Corporal Eichi!" Sergeant Kyra snapped as she marched through the small sea of people who hurried out of her way. She shot both of them a terrifying glare that made an unsettling feeling drag itself down Zuko's spine.

"I believe you're needed at the prisons," she said lowly.

Eichi scoffed and tightened his grip on Zuko's robe, whilst Zuko himself decided to play smart and let go. There was no point in attacking Eichi now that a superior had their eye on them. If anything was missing from his plate right now, it was a back whipping for hurting a fellow archer.

"Spare me the bullshit, Kyra" Eichi sneered at her. "Just because you're a rank higher it doesn't mean-"

"Perhaps I didn't make myself clear." Kyra interrupted him, her voice calm yet holding an edge, as though she was about to explode on them any second now.   
"Get your hands off of Private Zuko. Right. Now." 

Eichi's eyes narrowed on Kyra but she was utterly unfazed. Just when Zuko thought she couldn't possibly look any more intimidating, she lowered her chin and furrowed her eyebrows, making Eichi's gaze cower away. He abruptly let go of Zuko, and they both took a step away from each other.

Zuko's glare hopped between Eichi and Kyra, all while he attempted to tame his temper. His hands were still balled into fists at his sides, fingers painfully digging into the skin of his palms. There was no doubt in Zuko's mind that if Eichi tried him once more, Kyra's interference wouldn't be able to save him from the fire.

"If I see anyone so much as pull a single hair off another archer's head, outside of training..." Kyra turned to everyone, her voice louder than Zuko had ever heard it. "I will seize their arm."

The archers among the crowd either lowered their heads to stare at the floor or folded their hands behind their backs, nodding in understanding. Several of them had even started to walk away until there were only three main attractions left. Either way, no one dared to lay eyes upon Kyra's face except for Zuko, who silently judged her display of authority.

She zeroed her gaze on Eichi again, her eyes no more than two slits that threatened to empty his insides at the next insult he'd throw at her way.   
"Did I make myself clear?" 

"Crystal," Eichi mumbled and brushed past her shoulder on purpose, making his way towards the main entrance.

Kyra huffed out a breath and turned to leave as well, but Zuko's voice stopped her.

"I could have handled it myself." he beckoned and she halted her steps.

He wasn't sure if he believed what he'd just said, but he wanted the chance to find out. Zuko was sick of everyone cleaning up his mess, whether it was the Lieutenant or Kyra or even the nurses. He wanted to be allowed to make his bed and sleep in it without anyone sweeping in and helping him fix it.

Kyra rotated her body to face Zuko, her posture radiating tension.  
"You couldn't handle shit," she told him sternly. "You would have used your bending and would either get chi blocked or whipped, had I not broken off the fight."

Zuko gritted his teeth, fighting the urge to lash out with every ounce of self-control still left in him.  
"Don't patronize me!" he backfired and Kyra's features darkened in response.

She took a step forward, lessening their distance.  
"This is not a fighting ring," she accused. "this is the Agni damned army. Get a grip, pick up your bow, and stop picking fights you can't win." 

Her words lingered in the air between them as they kept staring at each other for a moment too long. Zuko felt the effect of her words the same way he would feel a backhanded, parental slap. He loathed it.

Kyra's look upon him resembled the scorching presence of the sun and Zuko, for the first time, felt the need to look away from her. Not out of fear or intimidation, but out of shame. She was right. Zuko hated to admit it but it was the truth. He looked for fights to prove himself and defend what little there was left of his honor, instead of working hard in silence and succeed in his own devices.

He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but the words never left his lips for a voice interrupted his train of thought.

"Private Zuko,"   
Another archer had joined the scene and neither Zuko nor Kyra noticed, too busy having a staredown. 

"Yes?" he questioned, a puzzled look on his face. 

Kyra turned and left without another word and the other archer bowed his head as she passed, revealing he was of lower rank. 

"I have a letter for you," he said and handed a sealed scroll cylinder to Zuko.

Despite his confused state, Zuko reached and took the container in his hand. A thought crossed his mind that it could be word from the Palace but he was quickly proven wrong when he noticed the cylinder didn't have the Royal emblem on it. Part of him was disappointed but the rest of him knew he was being too hopeful.

He opened the box, letting the scroll slide out of it and onto his open palm. The other archer took back the container and left Zuko's presence with a nod, while the prince brought the rolled-up scroll closer to his face to read the tag hanging from its left side.

_To: Fire Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation_   
_Post Office of Ba Sing Se_

Zuko's eyes widened and his hands swiftly spread the scroll open. The letter was from uncle Iroh, he recognized the handwriting all too well. He raised his head before he could sneak a peek at the contents of the letter.

This was Iroh's response to the letter Zuko had written on the ship to Pohuai. He was briefed in all of which went down at the Palace before his departure. The events of the meeting, the Agni Kai...his disgrace. All of it.

What if Iroh was mad at him? What if he thought him to be incompetent, an embarrassment of the Royal blood line a-

No, he wouldn't write back to him just to tell him he was angry at Zuko.   
And besides, Zuko was making up for his failure at the meeting by being in Pohuai so it's all good now.

But Iroh was the one that encouraged his efforts of joining the meeting, what if he's disappointed with the outcome? What if he wrote to tell him he was foolish, and a stubborn piece of dirt that shouldn't show his face before him ever-

Couldn't be. Iroh has never once held a grudge against Zuko for failing at achieving something on his first try. If anything, he encouraged failure as a means of learning from your mistakes.

But what if-

Maybe he should just read the letter instead of guessing what's written inside and making himself miserable, yes?

He took a deep breath and looked back down at the letter, his eyes now scheming over the fine ink swirls.

_My dearest nephew,_

_I was deeply saddened to hear the outcome of the military meeting. Had it not been for your letter, I wouldn't have heard of the story at all._   
_Ba Sing Se has a strict policy regarding news of the outside world, remaining neutral towards the war and all that nonsense they've come up with lately. It may be just an old man's intuition, but I can feel that dark times are upon us. Darker than you and I have ever witnessed._

_One thing I find comforting about your present situation is that I can now send word to you freely, without having to conceal the Earth Kingdom messenger hawks from the Palace's post office. Alas, the earth Kingdom capital is still not too keen on posting to the Fire Nation all together, but the colonies are an exception._

_Despite trying to find the light in this tragedy, know that I'm still regretful that you've suffered at the hand of our family, and that I'm so very sorry for not being there to support you._

_I will not hide from you that I'm mad with worry now that you're stationed in Pohuai, but that doesn't mean I don't believe in your abilities to the fullest, because I do. I can only hope that once you receive your colors (I know that you will), you'll be willing to pay me a discreet visit._

_May Agni and the Spirits always protect you,_   
_Iroh._

Zuko couldn't fight the smile beaming at his face when he finished reading the letter. A wave-- no, a tsunami of relief washed over him, knowing that he still had the support of his uncle and that he didn't think low of him. 

As he folded the thin scroll again, he noticed a tiny piece of writing on the back of the sheet, revealing Iroh's address in the Earth Kingdom capital.

Shiyun street, Upper Ring.

He must have moved his business to a bigger shop, just like he'd told Zuko he was planning. Good for him, Zuko thought. Even in exile, Iroh had managed to build a life for himself, doing something he adores. Zuko didn't fully understand how his uncle was able to write out his past as a great general and start from square one so easily, but it was definitely something he admired. 

Realizing that Rei must be pissed off in waiting for him in the field, Zuko stuffed the scroll inside his robe, wanting to save the new address.

You never know...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *takes a sniff with a sigh of delight*   
> Ah...foreshadowing. My favorite.   
> *keeps steering her tea*  
> So, y'all have been quiet lately.  
> *looks into the camera like in the office*  
> Nothing to do with the fact I had Zuko take a beating, I hope...


	6. One Chance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is 7.200 words I expect you to go appeshit over it and rant about everything, I love y'alls enthusiasm.  
> Also!  
> I have a list of petitions that are still in need of signatures, posted on my tumblr page (mayotheedgelord), regarding the blm movement! Go sign if you haven't already!

"Zuko," Lieutenant Rei sighed in aggravation, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers.

Zuko snapped his head towards his direction, halting his stabbing movements mid-way, his eyes wide and his chest heaving.  
"What?!" he yelled, almost like an animal who's dinner was interrupted.

"Are you ready to stop being a brat?" Rei asked with crossed arms and he looked over to a kneeled Zuko, sitting in front of the hay-made target and pegging the arrow on the bullseye repeatedly, using his hand.

The Prince jumped at his feet with a start and begun pacing around, wishing he hadn't cut all his hair so that he could have something to pull at right now.   
"Why is this not working?" he wondered out loud, "It was only yesterday that I could shoot bullseye with switched hands and now I can't even pull off a ten-yard mark!" 

He was reeling. Sweat drenched down on him, undoubtedly making him look and smell like a pig awaiting its slaughter. His hands and knees trembled like the ground bellow an earthbender, and he just couldn't sit down for the life of him. Last time he was this nervous he ended up kissing the left side of his face goodbye. This time it could be even worse.

"You're anxious that's why," Rei told him, his eyes following Zuko's pacing figure. "Besides, stabbing the target with the arrow in your hand isn't doing anything for you. You're not thinking straight."

"I'm straight! I-I mean, thinking straight! I am...dear Agni I don't even know how to speak..." Zuko's hands flew to his face and squished it while his eyes stared at the grassy ground blankly. He was about to faint.

"Hey!" the Lieutenant grabbed both of Zuko's shoulders and shook his body violently in hopes that his brain would start functioning again. 

After a couple of back and forth swings, Zuko's gaze zeroed on Rei and he remained absolutely still.   
"Get a fucking grip," Rei muttered and Zuko unconsciously nodded in response. "You've been beating yourself in this field for more than four hours, it's only natural that you can't even hold your bow properly! Your arms must have melted!" 

Part of him wants to call Rei a cussing, unknowing peasant. That part of him decided to shut his mouth.

"The trial starts in an hour and I can't even hold my bow..." Zuko muttered, his gaze drifting away again as he slowly started falling into his overthinking spiral.

Rei shook him again to regain his attention.   
"That's why you should rest," he said slowly while patting Zuko's shoulders, the way you would speak to a lunatic to get him in handcuffs.

"Rest," Zuko repeated while nodding his head. A victorious smile spread across Rei's face, thinking that he got through to him. 

"Rest and try again!" Zuko exclaimed and wiggled out of Rei's grasp, going to grab his bow.

Rei beat him to it and held the bow away from him. It was almost comical given Rei's and Zuko's height difference and how Rei's hand was pressed against Zuko's chest, basically rendering him immobile. Zuko would have laughed if his face's muscles were capable of forming anything but a frown.

"Sit!" the Lieutenant barked but Zuko still tried to reach for the bow Rei's hand was keeping away.  
"Now!" he added with a louder voice and only then did Zuko's moving stop altogether, plopping down on the grass with a huff.

Rei sat across from him and Zuko avoided looking at his face. The last thing he needed right now was a lecture on learning when to stop pushing yourself. What he needed to be doing was practicing until that arrow dug itself on the center of the target.

"We've been training for the whole week," Rei started, an assuring tone coating his voice. "I pushed you hard and in turn, you pushed yourself harder. You are more than ready to compete, you've learned and followed all of my advice twice over."

There was nothing but the truth in Rei's statement. Zuko had indeed pushed himself hard over the past week. Harder than he's ever done before in his life. He would be knocked down in combat or balance exercises and he would hop on his feet merely seconds after, ready to do it all again until his legs could no longer support the weight of his body. He'd been careful to treat the entirety of his old injuries, though he accidentally got some new ones, like the tares in his knuckles and the tiny scratches on his cheek where the arrow's feathers would fly by, whenever he added too much speed to it. 

But, he no longer burned his healing tea! If all fails and he's still alive by the end of it, he can catch a shift in Iroh's tea shop after his banishment...  
He hoped it wouldn't come to that.

Zuko even had Takiyo and Naoki help him with his extra hours. Chopstick proved himself an excellent strategist, having participated in the trials himself, only a year prior (though he didn't finish first) and he shared some of his insights on demolishing your opponent's psychology with a hint of his casual provoking and flirty humor.

Naoki, on the other hand, was more practical and served well as a never-tiring enemy in hand-to-hand combat, since the Lieutenant was tired of getting his butt handed to him by Zuko. She was too encouraging for Zuko's standards, even with all the blood running like a waterfall out of her nose, but that wasn't always a bad thing.

Physically and mentally he was a wreck and he'd promised to Rei he would take a break once the trials were over. The only problem was Zuko didn't just want the trials to be over. He wanted to win and let his rest take place in the comfortable, velvet cushions of his enormous bed in Capital City.

He couldn't do that with his aim all jacked up due to stress, and he wanted to tell the Lieutenant that, but he let him finish anyway. One thing he'd learned to accept over the course of these two weeks was that Rei sometimes, just some, knew best.

"Now," Rei tapped on a calmer Zuko's shoulder, bringing him back to reality and he stood back up. "Go take a shower to calm your nerves and I promise you you'll nail those trials."

Zuko wanted to object, to say something about how promises don't work that way and the person giving the promise should be able to guarantee that he would keep it. Yet, he chose to say nothing and just dragged his pitiful body out of the training field and onto the common showers. 

No one was there at this hour, so Zuko was allowed to enjoy his first private bath in what seemed like ages but was only three weeks. The scorching hot water run down his back, washing away all the dirt, sweat, and any torn-up grass needles that managed to sleep through his clothing. Even though he somewhat hated his short hair and longed for it to grow back to its normal length, he did admit that they made washing up a lot quicker. They had started to grow already, he noticed when he took a glance at the mirror. Slightly, and only by half the tip of his finger, but it was still growth.

He threw on a clean pair of clothing, an attempt to get the anxiety caused by the dirtiness, off his chest. Although he didn't feel quite reborn and anew, his nerves had certainly been kicked down a few notches by the time he was ready to present himself in the track. 

Before he left his dorm, he took his headpiece out of the pack he came into Pohuai with. He didn't exactly know why he did it but he felt an overwhelming need to hold it in his hand for a few seconds, to admire the detailed engravings on the shiny gold and the perfect sculpture of the sharp pin. He missed being able to wear it with pride and honor, for now, it felt as if it belonged to someone else entirely.

"Soon," he mumbled to himself and dropped it back in his bag, along with his dagger (he wasn't allowed to carry his own weapons in the trial) and his uncle's recent letter, and exited the room.

Once he found himself in the back of the field where the track was set up, he spotted Lieutenant Rei among other superiors. He had applied to referee the trials so that Zuko could have a familiar face around. Zuko hadn't asked for it and sure wasn't going to thank Rei, but maybe he felt the tiniest sign of appreciation when he spotted him there. 

He was standing next to Colonel Shinu, whom Zuko hadn't seen ever since he was a child. The Colonel recognized him, nonetheless, and cast a sideways nod of acknowledgment towards Zuko, something that would otherwise be a formal bow three weeks ago.

The Warrant Officers checked his name off the list and Zuko settled on finding himself a waiting spot at the starting point of the track. Everything was set just as Rei had told him a week ago. There were bows, arrows, and rope a few feet away from the starting line, then there was the climbing wall, and then the pond inside which was crafted a path made of slim wooden pikes. After that, there was only a series of hurdles pegged on the sloppy ground of a mud pit between them and the final target. 

Someone who would look at it for the first time would perhaps think the track was manageable. And then they would immediately change the mind when you informed them about the other twenty Yuyan that would run behind their tail.

Despite trying not to look at his opponents for too long and cause himself more stress, his eyes fell on Sergeant Kyra, tightening the cords of her forearm bands using her teeth. 

Her hair was slicked back neatly and secured with a pin, as per usual, her uniform the same as everyone else's, but there was something different about her this time, apart from the fact that her face paint was applied correctly and not in a messy smudge across the dark undertones of her skin.

She wore a surprised expression.  
And what made this even more strange, was that it was directed at Zuko. She must have not known he had applied for the trials, or she might have expected that he wouldn't show up. Either way, his eyes widened upon settling on his figure and her dark eyebrows shot upward.

Before Zuko had any more time to ponder over Kyra's reaction to seeing him, one of the Warrants ringed the gong, signaling it was time for them to get set. Zuko carefully positioned himself between two unknown First Class Privates, only a rank above him, who seemed just as nervous as he was, though significantly worst at hiding it. 

Colonel Shinu's voice hushed all the underlying whispers.  
"This marks the start of the 64th Anual Ranking Trials," he announced, having all the archers stand still with a raised chin as he spoke.   
"May the first archer that surpasses all the obstacles and successfully hit the final target, earn a place among their superior rank." 

Zuko noticed Lieutenant Rei standing behind Shinu's imposing figure and the little nod of reassurance he cast towards him. Zuko nodded back discreetly and straightened his posture, staring the setting sun right in the face. The deep orange palette of the dusk lent its colors to his surroundings, making them shine gold.

"Hello, Sparky," a voice called and Zuko slowly leaned his body forward to see Eichi, a couple of archers away from him.   
"See you at the finish line," he remarked with his usual crooked, toothy grin.

Zuko had been warned that Eichi would try and get into his head. Getting into people's heads was how he made a living as an interrogator. It took every bit of self-control for Zuko to ignore Eichi's attempts. He kept reminding himself that Eichi was the kind of person that he cared more about bringing other people down rather than uplifting himself. 

"I hope you enjoy the view of my back while you make your way there." Zuko retorted with a straight face, expertly concealing his smirk.

The gong rang for the second time and the participants all kneeled to a runner's position in unison. Hands on the floor with tensed fingers and knees on the ready.

Eichi clicked his tongue at the roof of his mouth and let out a small chuckle that gave out his annoyance.   
"Humor huh? Didn't know you could do that."

Well, jokes on him then, because Zuko's quite the comedian. He's freaking delightful. He just doesn't show it very often because...reasons. 

He didn't answer, too focused on keeping his sharp tongue in check and his mind focused on the task at hand.

"Well, good luck, anyway." Eichi mused and turned his attention at the track as well, an overly confident smirk displayed on his lips.

Zuko furrowed his eyebrow, pinning his gaze onto a specific set of a bow and three arrows. He gulped down the rising bile of nervousness, finally ready to face the track head-on. No distractions, no unnecessary fighting. No backing out.

"Fuck luck."

The third ring of the gong echoed across the entirety of the field and the archers' feet lifted from the grass. Every participant sped with all their might towards the weapons, ready to scratch and bite in order to get their hands on them. The only sound Zuko could focus on was that of his rapid breathing and light footing on the grassy ground as he sprinted towards the set he had his eyes locked on, just like the archer next to him. 

Quicker than a flash of lightning, Zuko slithered his arm around the other archer's reaching one, twisting it and a grab and flipping them both to the ground with him on top. The archer groaned in pain as Zuko swiftly let go of his hold on him and snatched the bow and the three arrows they were both longing. 

He sped across the field and towards the wall, leaving some of his opponents to slaughter each other for the remaining tools. There were only four people in front of him at this point, all of which had tied their ropes around one of the arrows and aimed to shoot them at the top of the wall, creating a climbing path for themselves. 

Zuko knew this would take too much time and he didn't have rope anyways so he followed plan B. This was the first time in his whole sixteen and a half years of life he'd had a plan B.

While still running he nocked an arrow into his bow, pulling the string hard enough to make sure the arrow pierced the wood and shot it at a lower point of the wall. He did the same with his second arrow, pegging it further up and sideways from the first one.

His pace quickened and once he'd slug his bow over his shoulders and got close enough to the wall, he stepped on it with a jump and reached for the body of the arrow with an outstretched palm. Once he'd secured it in his grasp, he hoisted himself up wrapping both of his around it and started swinging his legs, as though he was a child playing on monkey-bars, gaining momentum and taking the leap onto the next arrow. 

An eerie feeling of having people's eyes on him made Zuko's neck hair rise while hanging from the second arrow, higher up. He couldn't care less about it. It was only natural his crazed plan of hanging ten feet into the air was gaining spectators. A forced heave left his lips when he let go of the arrow and grabbed on the edge of the wall's top.

His fingers trembled violently, having to hold up the weight of his whole body that dangled in the air. A target for everyone to shoot at, really.

"No backing out," he repeated to himself through gritted teeth and pulled himself upward with every bit of strength his arms withheld. 

He held on the wooden surface for dear life and pulled himself on the top part with little room to stand, let alone lay flat on your stomach. Having no second to waste, he got to his feet and sped on the slim edge, balancing on his toes, until he reached one of the arrows the other archers had pegged at the top with rope wrapped around it like a ribbon.

The archer climbing the rope was nearly at the top, meaning his fall would be nasty. Zuko almost felt bad...almost.

"Sorry," he muttered, out of breath, and used the tip of his remaining arrow to cut the rope's knot, startling the archer and making him lose his grip on it. 

Zuko held tight on the rope, unlike its owner who ended up only catching it at the very last second, to break his fall. Getting out of this with only a scratched head was a blessing. If anything, the guy should thank Zuko for not rolling up the rope faster, instead of cursing at him as he did.

Zuko rolled his eyes, muttering something about "manning up" and hastily tied the rope around his own arrowhead, digging it into the wood. His eyes managed to catch a flitting image of another four archers who had barely finished climbing before he slung off the opposite edge of the wall, bow in hand.

"Gah!" he winced in pain, for the rope burned the skin of his hand. It stung in an all too familiar manner, to a point where Zuko would rather slice his whole hand off than endure it, but that was out of the question. Using his good hand, he pulled at the rope, tearing the arrow out of place so he could retrieve it and stuff it in his boot.

He slung the bow over his shoulders and gained up the appropriate speed to start hopping on the wooden stepping stones, lifted from the dark water of the lake. Taking Rei's advice, he only stepped on top of the first two, to save up some distance, and dove straight into the freezing water of the pond. 

The sensation gave Zuko a light shock at first, having only ever submerged himself into the steaming hot waters of Ember Island Beach. Even in winter, Fire Nation seas were warmer than this damned water hole. The temperature of the water was far less than ideal, yet it soothed the burning feeling on his right hand. He fully entered the depths of the lake, hoping that the dark water would make it harder for anyone to have a clear aim on him from the top of the wall. 

It was the Yuyan he was talking about, though. If they wanted him dead, it wouldn't matter even he suddenly became invisible. They would still manage to put an arrow between his eyes.

He swam as fast as he could, the clothing and bow adding to his weight and discomfort. While he was maneuvering his way past the wooden pikes, he was oddly reminded of when he and Azula challenged each other in under-water breathing contests, when they were kids. Perhaps this was the only game Zuko played with his sister where he could always win, able to hold his breath for a whole two minutes. 

It pissed little Zula off but she never exceeded Zuzu's record.

A splash in the water pulled him out of his trance, making him realize that the others had caught up to him and were attempting to cross the wooden path. That meant he should speed up again, and so he did. Once out of the water, Zuko took a moment to shake himself and rid his clothes off the excessive wetness. He looked over his shoulder to catch a glimpse of chaos. 

Chaos indeed. 

The Yuyan fought with their all, throwing each other off the wooden cylinder blocks and into the pond, or even off the side of the wall as he had done previously. He spotted Sergeant Kyra leaping onto the lake path from pike to pike like a grasshopper and thought he should probably keep running to keep his advantage.

There was now only one person ahead of him, a young, muscular woman who jumped over the hurdles and graciously managed to keep her balance even though she was landing on slippery mud. Zuko ran, and instead of jumping over the hurdles like the girl did, he jumped on them. One by one he topped with excellent balance and soon ran past his only opponent, but not for long.

Just as he was about to step onto the last one, the other archer got ahold of Zuko's ankle and pulled him down the mud. His bow flew over his shoulders when his face slammed into the sticky, staining substance and he gagged in disgust.

"Seriously?" he roared in a fit of fury and whipped his vision clean of the dirt with the back of his sleeve, just in time to see the archer advancing on him.

She launched at Zuko and beat his back against the ground to mount on top of the prince, holding him into a chokehold. Her meaty fingers wrapped around the small of his neck and pressed the air out of it, whilst a manic expression rested on her face. 

"Ye think you're better than everyone, don-cha?" she spat through gritted teeth. "Ye don't look so superior now, do ya Princey?

Zuko would have given her a sufficient answer, something along the lines of; "I'll separate your peasant head from your shoulders", had he been able to breathe, let alone speak.

His hands hurried on top of hers, trying and failing to get them off his windpipe so he could breathe again. She wouldn't budge and only kept pressing harder as Zuko's legs kicked around the mud aggressively. The rest of the archers were advancing now, the entirety of them leaping, falling, shoving, and punching their way to the end of the track. 

Zuko was slowly and torturously running out of ideas, and out of oxygen. Was he really going to die at the hands of a girl with biceps twice the size of him? After all, he went through to get here? He swung his way over a wall for crying out loud, it couldn't just end like this...how pathetic.

As his face pressed against the filthy ground and his vision begun to get blurry, he noticed his bow, lying beside him within arm's reach. Instead of holding the girl's grasp around his neck, he got his left arm out, grabbing the bow and swinging it across the small distance.

With whatever power was still left in him, he banged the wooden skeleton of the bow down on the girl's head.

Her eyes rolled at the back of her skull and she fell backward unconscious, and hopefully not dead.  
Well...not that hopefully. 

Zuko's lungs welcomed the large, gasping breath that entered him and nearly choked on it. He put his hand on the ground and propped himself up for what seemed like the millionth time today, and prayed it would be the last. He whipped the mud off the area around his eyes and spit out what small part of it had entered his mouth.

Bow tightly in his hand, he went over the very last hurdle with a sloppy volt and jogged to put some distance between him and the advancing horde of bloodthirsty Yuyan.

He got his only arrow out of his boot and nocked it on the bow, still speeding towards the far off target.

This is it, he thought to himself.   
One arrow, one single chance.

The only thing he had to do was hit dead center and then this would all be over. No more sleeping in a basement, no more sharing the showers, no taunting, no insults, no discomfort. 

He would be respected. His father would finally accept him. He would welcome him home with open arms as a proper Prince, worthy of the throne. There would be no more comparison between him and Azula, no more pinning them against each other. He would raise himself beside his sister and father as an equal, and no one would dare doubt his abilities again.

He would have regained his honor.

Time froze on his behalf.

He took a breath and held it in, pulling the bowstring until the torn up feathers of the arrow tingled his injured cheekbone. His eyes narrowed on the red dot representing the center of the target and he let the sound of his own blood, pumping against his ears, lure him into a mindset of absolute focus.

_One chance._

He let go of the breath at the same time his fingers let go of the bowstring.   
The arrow flew with unimaginable speed, taking an evident curve around the handle of the bow.

As Zuko watched the course of his arrow with squinted eyes, he felt something brush past his right side, so terrifyingly close that he thought it would trim his remaining eyelashes. 

He couldn't tell what it was at the moment, but it didn't matter. Time regained its normal speed, and suddenly Zuko was aware of his surroundings again. Everything was dead-silent. Nothing but the sway of the cool afternoon breeze, dancing through the needles of the pine trees could be heard.

He was scared to look. Scared that the result would be anything else than what he hoped for. Scared that his hard training and tons of mind-numbing anxiousness would have all been for nothing. Scared that all his hopes and ambitions would come right back, to slap him in the face.

His reluctant gaze refocused on the target in a silent prayer that the arrow would have hit it appropriately. 

_Center_. It was pegged right at the center.

Zuko huffed out a breath of surprise, not quite believing his own eyes. He marched closer, stumbling accidentally, to confirm that his sight wasn't playing games.  
It wasn't.

"Fuck yes!" Lieutenant Rei's voice broke the utter silence that engulfed the field. 

He threw his fist in the air in some sort of victorious jump but collected himself immediately when Shinu's judgmental gaze fell on him. Rei gulped down and went back to his stone-cold expression that somewhat twitched, not being able to control the enormous smile hiding underneath it.

Zuko's hands raised to his head once again prepared to pull at some hair, but his fingers went through the spiky cut. He didn't care for once, too astonished at what was happening. He looked at the target again, this time realizing there was something pegged on it right next to his arrow. What had shot right past his face. 

It was a golden hairpin.

He turned his body around and found himself in front of Seargent Kyra who blocked the view of the remaining, exhausted archers that were laying around the mud. Her long hair was let loose into a dark mess that framed her face in a strangely flattering manner.

"You missed," Zuko told her, in lack of better words that expressed both the cockiness and air of superiority he was filled with.  
  
His jaw was locked in place, but not in anger. He just wished to savor every single bit of this moment when he witnessed the defeat of Kyra for the first and perhaps only time.

"I did, didn't I?" she said, somehow without a hint of surprise in her voice.

Before Zuko could say anything else, Kyra stunned him by forming her hands into the flame and bowing to him. 

It was a full formal bow. The kind you give to the well-known members of the military, or the close royal circle. The kind that hasn't been directed at Zuko for what seemed like too long. 

She didn't say anything. She didn't have to. Yet Zuko knew she wasn't bowing to a prince, but a soldier. Someone worthy of her respect.

His lips parted in awe, not knowing how to react at this uncalled-for gesture. Kyra raised her head again, retrieved her pin from the target, and walked away without so much as a word. 

* * *

"Did you get it?" Rei left his seat and walked over to Takiyo in excitement.

Takiyo, who had just entered their hanging spot holding a wooden crate, nodded in confirmation.  
"You bet your ass I did." he coyed and closed the door behind him with his foot. "I've been doing this since I was twelve."

After the Trials and another long bath, Lieutenant Rei literally carried Zuko to the old watchtower, on his shoulders, while chanting about how a couple of bitter Warrant Officers owed him two silver pieces each, for betting against Zuko. All the while, Zuko tried to dodge the shoddy chandeliers that he constantly bumped his head into while being carried against his will.

His protests no doubt were heard throughout the stronghold, though he had to admit; Rei's shoulders were a decent replacement for his Royal sunbed he used to be carried around onto. 

When they got outside to the watchtower, Naoki waited for them, biting her nails in nervousness, until Zuko entered in one piece and with no traces of blood on his clothes. A series of (partly) unwelcome, bone-crushing hugs and praises later, Takiyo had returned, having gone to fetch a "surprise".

"What even is that?" Zuko asked, mildly interested. 

"Oh trust me..." Takiyo laughed in anticipation while he tried to pop the seal of the crate open with his dagger. "you're going to like it." 

The seal cracked open, nearly chopping off Naoki's head when it flew across the small space, and off the edge of the tower. Zuko elongated his neck in an attempt to peak at the inscription written on the box's side. 

Cactus juice.

"You can't be serious!" he gaped at the three of them, who each held a different kind of smile on their face. 

Zuko didn't know much about cactus juice. Only that it grew specifically in Si Wong Desert and that it contained hallucinogens, meaning they caused the drinker to fall into a deranged state of mind. 

That was enough to not make him a fan of the drink. 

"How did you manage to get it passed the storage guards?" Naoki turned to Takiyo and grabbed a jar from inside the box, inspecting it in her hand.

"Didn't get past them," Takiyo answered, causing the rest of them to widen their eyes at him. "I convinced the afternoon guard to let me have it." 

"Misha? How?" Rei exclaimed and on cue, Takiyo leaned an elbow against the wall, activating his most seductive smirk, and gestured at his posing body with his free hand.

"How'd you think?" he smirked further and looked down on himself, then back at Rei.

Zuko could have sworn Takiyo's crooked smile and lazy gaze would be enough to put any Palace concubine to shame. 

The Lieutenant grimaced and pretended to gag.   
"You know what? Forget I asked," he said and opened up one of the jars, ready to take a swing from it.

"Are you really going to drink that?" Zuko's urging voice stopped him and they all turned to him, wearing the same "aww" kind of look that Zuko despised.

"Yes, and you are drinking too." Takiyo threw a jar at Zuko and he caught it in his hand, spying on the white liquid with squinted eyes. Out of sheer curiosity, he twisted the lid open and took a sniff. It had a fruity, pleasant smell.

Is this what poor people call fun, then? Stealing fire Nation cargo and getting drunk on it while enjoying the midnight view of a forest? Now that Zuko thought about it, that didn't sound much better than what he did for fun back at home.   
Nothing, that is.

And, hey, he had just won the Ranking Trials. A recommendation letter speaking of his promotion was being written by Shinu, right about now. His father would hear of it in a matter of days and tomorrow Zuko would be officially getting his Yuyan colors.  
What's there to do besides celebrate, and if that's how it's done then...

His eyes wandered off to the three archers, who looked just about as excited as one would be for winning the lottery.

"Fine," he huffed and the rest of them simultaneously whispered a round of enthusiastic 'yes!'s.

He brought the jar to his lips, no doubt a disgusted expression on his face, as he imagined the terrible taste it must have had. After downing a sip, his tongue darted out of his mouth, too puzzled to pinpoint the precise taste of the drink. 

"It's uh..." his words trailed off when he spotted Kyra leaning on the side of the door.

The rest of the group followed his gaze and landed on Kyra's serious one.  
"Didn't even bother to close the door properly this time," she commented and everyone's eyes fell onto Takiyo in judgment.

"Don't worry," Kyra waved her hand in dismissal, "I'm too tired to rat y'all out, anyway." 

She turned around, leaving them to their drunk devices, until Zuko's voice stopped her, saying something he would most likely regret.

"Would you care to join us?" he blurted just as everyone, including Kyra, whipped their heads at him in pure awe.

Maybe he was feeling generous today, or maybe the tiny sip of cactus juice was already clouding his judgment, but inviting Kyra to celebrate with them didn't seem like that much of a poor decision. Granted he's made way worse, yet the fact that there was no immediate answer from anyone made him rethink his proposal.

"Or perhaps you want to go, 'cause you're tired or whatever you said earlier. I wasn't listening." he rotated his body and sat normally on his chair, no longer looking at her.

He was listening. But why let her think he cared enough to do so? 

"Sure," Kyra responded, her tone of voice slightly more high-pitched than usual.   
"Someone needs to make sure you won't fall off the tower...if no one objects to that someone being me.." 

Zuko looked over his shoulder to see Rei nodding negatively and inviting her in with a smile along with Naoki who also gave up her chair. Takiyo offered her a jar of juice and she nonchalantly refused for unjustified reasons. No one pressured her into it and rather turned to each their own jars.

The concept of time started collapsing from then on in Zuko's head. He wasn't aware of how much time had passed since Kyra entered, or what time even meant anymore.   
All he knew was that he was sprawled on a different chair, his body literally feeling like a melting candle. His head perhaps weighed three tons and as it lulled to the side, he spotted Takiyo, Rei, and Naoki acting like fools.

Takiyo was smoking his kiseru, as per usual, only this time whenever he blew smoke out of his mouth he laughed excitedly and exclaimed; "I'm making clouds with my mouth!" 

Rei watched Takiyo with a dropped jaw as if he was performing the most fascinating task in the whole universe. He laughed every time Takiyo did, both of them grabbing each other by the shoulders and shaking them like two fanatics watching a wrestling match. 

Naoki...well, Zuko had a feeling nothing much changed in Naoki's behavior. She was reaching for Takiyo's cloud- ehm- smoke and tried to capture it within her grasp. That's more or less what she always does when Takiyo's smoking, dangling her fingers around the trail of grey mist, but without the distressed expression, she wore now, just as she realized she couldn't catch the smoke.

They all looked so...colorful. They were (probably) deep into the night, yet instead of being overshadowed by the dark blues and blacks of the hour, like it normally is, everything just seemed so vibrant and bright and...alive. 

He turned his head forward to admire what was most likely the forest view, although he wasn't quite sure. The sky had an extraordinary color. Zuko couldn't describe it for he believed no such color even existed, and if it did, he sure had never seen it before. If he was ever asked what color could represent life, this one would be his answer. 

That or yellow. Yellow is pretty awesome too. Zuko liked yellow.

Suddenly, the serene landscape of the midnight stary sky was disrupted by a flash of lightning, far off into the horizon. 

Zuko jumped back in his chair, not expecting the booming sound of thunder that followed. A half of a laugh left his lips as he continued to stare the spot where the flash of white and light blue split the sky in half.

Ηis peripheral vision caught a glimpse of someone sitting next to him. His whole body jerked in Kyra's direction, having somehow forgotten that she was there with them, let alone that he sat on a chair next to her.

She too looked way more vibrant than usual. Even her permanent scowl and harsh demeanor seemed to have been smoothed over by some invisible paintbrush. Has her hair always been red or..? Nope, no that's the juice...probably.

"What are you looking at?" her eyebrows knitted at Zuko, who stared at her for a good minute.

Oh, great. She speaks.

"I...um...lightning," he responded, getting back to looking at the sky. 

Kyra repositioned herself in her seat so she could have a better view of the sky and the oncoming storm.   
"What about lightning?" she encouraged Zuko to share more of his thoughts.

"Nothing much..." he sort of laughed again when another bright streak drew itself against the enigmatic color of the dome above them. 

"My sister can do that," he added, pointing a lazy finger at the view. "..lightning."

"She can produce lightning?" Kyra questioned, not seeming too invested in the conversation and making it seem like she only talked to Zuko out of boredom.

That's what he thought of it, at least.

"Yes..." he continued, nonetheless, feeling like wording his thoughts was weirdly therapeutic in this state. "it's beautiful. She can dance around with it, holding its unfathomable power in her hands, like it's nothing. I wish I could do it too." 

His smiling face somewhat fell at the reminder that, yet again, Azula finds ways to be better than him. What went wrong with him and right with her? Why can't he bend lightning and fire as though it's an extension of his body? Why can't his flames burn this extraordinary blue that light up the very room he stands in, and entraps everyone's admiration, the way Azula's flames do? 

Why must he always fight to achieve the same level of excellence Azula achieves in her sleep?

"How come you can't do it?" Kyra's voice pulled him out of his trance and everything seemed a tad bit clearer.

"I never could, no matter how much I tried..." his words trailed off but his face lit up again, for he remembered something. 

"But I can do this other thing..." he paused to snicker by himself. "I can redirect it...or at least I think I can. I've never tried it with actual lightning."

Uncle Iroh taught him this technique in secret, years ago and he'd nearly forgotten about it. Zuko remembered being so full of excitement that he would learn something Azula could not, yet when the lesson was over, uncle refused to let Zuko practice it with the real threat of lightning. He threw a tantrum, of course, like the child that he was. Although, if he was being completely honest, he would throw a tantrum at his current age too.

An idea crossed his mind, and his face lit up further. He didn't need uncle's, or Azula's lightning to use the technique. He could...use a real one.

"But maybe," he started voicing his thought process while making an effort to stand up from the chair. Profound dizziness struck him as he did, yet he managed to center the weight of his body.

Naoki, Takiyo, and Rei had all fallen asleep now, two of them leaning their heads on Rei's shoulders, snoring lightly. He hoped the noise wouldn't wake them up so they wouldn't scold him for using his bending. Kyra was awake but she wouldn't rat him out. As she said before, she was too tired anyway, right?

"If I can just..." He put one foot in front of the other, and slowly walked towards the edge of the tower, eyes focused on the third strike of lightning. He thought someone called to him, though he heard nothing but a faded yell. 

His hand reached out as if to catch the white, faint tail of the lightning. He wished to trap it in his grasp and maneuver it, the way he'd seen Azula do so many times before. To let the energy flow through his body and send it into a powerful shock.

A sudden, freefalling sensation took over Zuko, yet it stopped as soon as it appeared. The pit of his stomach fell and bounced right back up. It felt as though being splashed with a bucket of cold water, and suddenly there was no color, no sway, no vibrancy. Just the dimly lit watchtower, and the golden glow of its single torch, against the dark of the night.

He looked down at the stone slab he was half-stepping on and noticed the front part of his feet was raised and that he was leaning backward.

Backward where? He raised his gaze and saw Kyra, a mortified expression drawn across every inch of her face. Her hand was snaked around his forearm, holding him so tightly that his blood circulation was cut off. Zuko was leaning with his back over the edge, he realized, and Kyra's hand was the only thing stopping him from falling into the abyss underneath.

Under normal circumstances, he would have slapped her hand off. That didn't seem like such a good idea, especially when Kyra's widened eyes held a kind of glimmer that made him wonder whether she wanted to get him off the edge or kill him for daring to go near it.

He had no time to react before she pulled him aggressively towards her and away from the edge. Zuko stumbled forward and ended up crashing on his chair, nearly knocking it down by the sheer force. 

"Are you insane?" Kyra shouted, breathing rapidly as though she'd seen a spirit. "Have you got any idea what they'd do to me if you jumped off the fucking wall on my watch?" 

Her level of selfishness was almost unbelievable and for some reason, Zuko thought it was hilarious. So hilarious, that he started giggling, then chuckling, then downright wheezing unable to control himself. Her face while she held onto his limb body...the absolute terror that flashed across it...it was all so Agni damned funny.

He laughed until tears were brimming at his eyes and he was cradling his stomach, all while Kyra watched, jarred. 

"I guess I owe you one."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so...the plot starts kicking in in the next chapter, you might want to strap in...


	7. The Assignment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canonically, the Yuyan markings are tattoos, but the permanency screws things up for the plot line so...face paint y'all.

Being allowed to train with the Yuyan was a privilege in itself. However, wearing the Yuyan Red, around your eyes was an honor and a lifelong commitment.

The ceremony by which a recruit is initiated into the Yuyan is quite simple really. It consists of two parts, one of which is of more spiritual nature, and the other is just a soldier tradition. 

Lieutenant Rei accompanied Zuko to the dorm of a tattoo-covered gal, to honor the latter, hours before he presented himself to execute the former.

Zuko always imagined tattoos as painful, prone to infection, unnecessary markings, but Rei didn't take no for an answer. He tried his best to sit completely still as the black-haired girl got her ink-dipped needle close to his forearm, yet he soon realized the pain was of little importance. It felt like repeatable bee stings. Not that Zuko has ever been stung by a bee, but if he had to guess what it felt like, this would be it. 

As he wrapped up that train of thought, the girl informed him that "it" was finished and he could go. Beyond the spread out beads of blood, hanging about Zuko's skin, there could be seen a red triangle, the alchemy symbol of fire. Now his forearm matched both Rei's and every other full-fledged Yuyan's.

The official ceremony was equally stressful, yet somehow boring all the same.

Zuko kneeled before Colonel Shinu just as the break of dawn shared its orange light with the world. He was partly nervous but not nearly as much as he'd been yesterday. To be fair, the prospect of a stranger touching his wounded face to apply a red substance on it, was daunting, to a certain degree. Zuko kept reminding himself that it would last no longer than mere seconds, and he somehow managed not to flinch when Shinu's fingers traced over the scarred tissue on his left profile, so painfully close to his trembling eyelid 

Then, there was the reciting of the Hymn. A short passage Zuko had learned by heart, ever since he was able to speak without a childish lisp. He repeated the lines after the Colonel, with a palm tightly pressed over his chest, and his gaze focused on an indifferent part of the wall across from him, behind Shinu and his four guardsmen that served as witnesses.

_My life I give to my country._   
_With my hands, I fight for Fire Lord Ozai and our forefathers before him._   
_With my mind, I seek ways to better my country._   
_And with my feet may our March of Civilization continue._

Simple, yet straight to the point. Zuko had repeated the same Hymn more times than he would care to count, still, his voice held the same stealth as the first time he'd said it out loud when he didn't fully understand the heaviness of his words. Now he perfectly understood, yet the raw emotion remained.

And that was because he meant every word. 

"Usually there are more recruits present during the ceremony, but I believe yours is a special occasion," Shinu told him when the process was over and done with, the tiny phrase somehow gifting a hint of pride to Zuko.

He was a special occasion. He exceeded all expectations and managed to get his honorary colors faster than anyone had, ever before. He had finally done it, he'd proved them all wrong. His honor was restored, his place on the throne secured.

Yet, as has been mentioned before, Zuko doesn't believe good moods are meant to last. They are doomed to be altered and spoiled. How can one progress in life if not through dealing with hardship and unavoidable displeasures? How can one develop if they have never had to rise and thrive above all that life has thrown at them?

That's at least what Zuko was taught by his short time on earth, by cruel fate herself. 

One thing was certain, though. Displeasures would keep on knocking on his door. And whether he chose to conquer them and progress or wallow in his misfortune was his choice. 

Achieving the latter wasn't as easy as it sounded. Especially when these displeasures were living beings with a name. Per say...

Commander Zhao.

Zuko and Lieutenant Rei peered over the edge of the wall bridge they were on, to catch a glimpse of Zhao and his commanding troop of firebenders entered the Stronghold as if they owned every square mile of it. 

It wasn't long ago when Zuko had to endure those painful Royal receptions, in which Zhao's narcissistic and self-absorbed arse would flourish, taking the lead on most military-related conversations and converting them into a tribute to his achievements and conquests. 

Yes, he'd won a naval battle against the Northern Water Tribe ships. Big deal, they aren't even skilled sailors, they simply command the water with their bending, and yet, T=the Fire Nation navy is the world's strongest. 

Though, Zhao's enormous ego and his love of his own voice, was not quite why Zuko didn't like the Commander. It was the fact that whenever he, the Prince, on whose palace Zhao was being entertained, tried to slither himself into one of these conversations and exchange a few words with men he looked up to, Zhao would cast him a patronizing smile and would ruffle his hair.

"Perhaps when you're a tad bit older, Prince Zuko, and you can tell the difference between the prow and the stern." he used to tell him and everyone would chuckle at Zuko's flustered, red face.

Low and behold, Zhao arrives once again, not a single day after Zuko has finally pulled himself together, undoubtedly bringing a whole load of trouble with him.

"What's he doing here anyway?" Zuko scowled at the soldiers, marching across the training field, Zhao at point-center of the formation.

"No idea," Rei responded with furrowed eyebrows as he too observed the troop until they entered the first ring and they were out of sight.  
"I wasn't informed about any of this."

The sound of hasty footsteps clicking on the stone drew both of their attention to Takiyo and Naoki jogging towards them. When they came face to face, Takiyo was out of breath, resting his palms on his knees while he took a break.

"Dammit, I hate stairs," he heaved and it was perhaps the first time Zuko had witnessed him being anything less than graceful and ethereal. 

"Rei, you're needed at Shinu's office." Naoki took the chance to explain whilst Takiyo fanned himself with his hands, to make sure he wasn't gonna sweat.

Rei's palms left the railing of the bridge and crossed themselves over his chest.   
"Did they say what for? And did they mention anything about the Commander?" 

"It's Admiral now," Naoki corrected silently as though she had predicted the overdramatic scoff that came out of Zuko's lips.  
"and they only told us it was urgent," she added.

"Something about an important assignment," Takiyo confirmed with a roll of his eyes, not seeming too keen on Zhao's arrival either.

They all appeared to have mixed feelings about Comman- Admiral Zhao's figure. Mixed being a nice word for negative. Zuko wasn't sure why that was. Maybe they've heard stories about him, or maybe it was the sole way he waltzed through the gates with an armed troop, like a conqueror, that egged them.

Zuko didn't care much. It was enough for him to know they were all on the same page on not wanting Zhao on their territory.

"I have to head back to training," Zuko announced, picking up his bow from where he left it.   
Lieutenant Rei gave him a heavy pat on the back and retreated as well, leaving the group to be split in, each to their affairs. 

Zuko tried. He tried with all his might to focus on his training. His mind didn't seem to obey his commands. Throughout the morning Zuko caught himself being distracted, his mind fleeing to different places, forming questions and working to find answers while his body mindlessly shot arrows at the far off-targets, luckily not missing often. 

Questions like;   
What is Zhao's business? Had he come to take Zuko back to the Capital? No, of course not, he would have been notified if that were the case. 

And when did he got promoted to Admiral? Does that mean he's of higher rank that Shinu?  
Yes, but what does an Admiral have to do with ground forces like the Yuyan? Non-bender forces at that. 

It didn't matter what form the questions took or how far his rumination of thought managed to go, it all sourced back to one, primarily question that remained unanswered.

What on earth is Zhao doing in Pohuai?

The bell, whose sound Zuko was slowly getting used to, rang, signaling the time for lunch. Zuko carried his sore body and troubled mind to the mess hall, got himself a plate of meat-filled dumplings, and plopped himself on a bench next to Takiyo and Naoki.

Naoki stopped eating and devoted her full attention to Zuko as soon as he sat.   
"How was your first day as a full-fledged Yuyan?" she asked, folding her hands in front of her with a wide smile.

The question mildly caught him off guard and after having spent an awkward amount of time trying to think of a polite enough answer he came up with this;

"The paint is itching," he said sharply, scrunching up his nose and digging into his plate with his chopsticks. 

Naoki giggled in response, probably finding Zuko's irritation and severe lack of social skills, adorable.

The conversation wasn't given the chance to progress, as Lieutenant Rei stomped to their bench and dumbed his bow on top of it, with little care. Takiyo jerked his head backward in surprise and settled his gaze on Rei, who had transformed into his Barking Lieutenant alter ego.

"Eat lightly," he ordered and took a fried dough stick out of Naoki's hand, throwing it away. "I need you fast and flexible tonight." 

Takiyo cracked his knuckles and playfully bit his lip.  
"What did you have in mind?" he rasped with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

Rei threw a pair of chopsticks at him, essentially ruining his seductive facade and turning it into a flinching mess.

"Nothing of the dirty sorts, you dink," he cracked a faint smile. "I've picked you as my team for an assignment." 

"Us four?" Zuko finally decided to join the conversation, having secured his bowl of dumblings in his grasp, to make sure Rei wouldn't snatch it away. 

A giddiness settled in his chest at the fact he was chosen to accompany the Lieutenant on a mission. The reason could be whatever you wished to call it; The adrenaline of danger, the pride of a soldier properly serving his Nation, or even the warming feeling of someone believing enough in his abilities, which Zuko hasn't experienced much. Giddiness, all the same.

"Five. Sergeant Kyra too, but I'll inform her later." 

Zuko suppressed the need to roll his eyes. Of course, Rei would pick Kyra. She was skilled beyond measurement and obedient, unlike Zuko. Rei also owed her a favor since she let them slip under the Watchdog radar so many times, and letting her in on a mission was the best kind of favor. 

It slightly pissed him off that he had no good reason to be bitter at Kyra anymore. He could always behave snarkily with no reason at all, but that was not as satisfactory. Zuko felt like he needed to be angry at someone. If not his sister, for her competitive nature, or his uncle for his misleading proverbs and obsession with tea, then he could always be angry at the person who beat him to unconsciousness, right?

Wrong. Not now, when that person actually valued him and gave him something that tops any form of apology. She gave him her respect. How could he be angry at that? Oh, and to add to his frustration, she also kind of, sort of, maybe, saved him from certain death just yesterday. Speaking of which, Zuko would enjoy nothing more than to never speak of his wasted state of mind ever again, and for the memory of it to be whipped out of everyone's minds.

Well, at least Eichi was still a piece of komodo rhino shit, so there's that.

"What's the objective?" Naoki questioned, her hand slyly reaching out for another dough stick, only to be slapped away by Rei.

"Execution." 

Zuko choked on his dumpling and went into a coughing spree. Takiyo pushed a cup on water towards him, although that didn't do much to stop the airless coughs. 

"Execution? Of whom?" he gulped down the last cough, refusing to let it out.

The Yuyan archers were called upon for missions that require the utmost delicacy and precision, and the majority of those missions were of paramount secrecy. Their forces weren't involved in the grander scheme of the war at hand and mainly handled state affairs. 

That being said, Zuko didn't think that a highly trained Lieutenant would be ordered to pick a ragtag team of four other highly trained Yuyans, all in favor of executing some Earth Kingdom threat. 

Which means there was a traitor on the inside. A traitor to the Fire Nation.

"Admiral Chan. That's why Zhao is here, he's handling navy laundry." Rei said drumming his fingers on the wooden table, impatiently.  
"He's said to have violated imperial orders, refusing to conform with a military plan. They wish for the matter to be handled quietly." 

Rei's freezing tone of voice when he said "quietly", nearly made shivers run down Zuko's spine. Is killing off a high Ranking Admiral the best way to handle his refusal? 

Yes, the royal part of Zuko answered at itself immediately. Admiral Chan committed high treason by dismissing the Fire Lord's commands. He put the great plan at risk, at a moment when the Fire Nation is so close to winning the war, for Agni knows what foolish reason.

He was a traitor, and for that, he must perish.

As Zuko thought of this, he realized Chan's name ringed a bell in his head but he couldn't put a finger as to why. He's probably heard it before at some fancy reception and had forgotten the face it associates with. Although he didn't know him, it seemed strange that such an esteemed member of the Fire Nation Navy would decide to go rogue at such a crucial time for the war. Do they make anyone an Admiral these days?

The subject of the conversation shifted between the group, and Zuko remained silent for the rest of lunch, closed off among his thoughts.

* * *

  
The plan devised by Colonel Shinu's councilmen was clear.

Get into Admiral Chan's residence, execute him, and then make every trace of their presence there disappear. Loose ends like the Admiral needed to be handled as quietly as possible. Any arousing suspicion among Fire Nation soldiers could eventually waver their loyalty, and that was something the high generals couldn't afford. The end of the war is nigh, and Fire Nation forces ought to stay united.

Zuko crouched beside the rest of their small troop (as far away from Kyra as possible, not being able to live with his humiliation, should she decide to mention the night before), lurking in the Moonshadow of the many buildings around them. 

He'd come to the realization that he hated Earth Kingdom architecture. The houses resembled concrete boxes, decorated with elaborate window shutters, occasional bamboo canopies, and no tilted roofs, just empty terraces. Let alone everything reeked of leather and oil and freshly moistened dirt.

Well, this is the only Earth Kingdom village Zuko's has ever been to or seen, so it could be that he just hated the architecture of the minorities.

They had been sitting on that terrace for what seemed like an eternity, spying on the Admiral's office across the street, to figure out the changing shifts of his guardsmen. Chan himself could be seen through the crystal clear windows of the upper floor, laying on his gold-embroidered chair with his chin resting on the palm of his hand in thought.

The sigh of impatience waiting to escape Zuko's lips was nearly impossible to drown. If it was him leading the mission, they would have hopped on that building across from theirs half an hour ago, and would have been done with the Admiral, but would probably end up crossing paths with the guards and being killed. 

Fortunately, though, Rei was in charge, and he proved himself to be excellent at following plans. Although Zuko was impatient and stubborn, he was silently thankful for Rei's ability to think ahead. He wouldn't admit it out loud of course, so instead, he stuck next to the group and pretended not to be bored out of his mind.

The only thing making this assignment tolerable so far was the change of clothing. The all-black tunic and matching pants were somehow way more comfortable than the maroon uniform he has been wearing for the past three weeks. And warmer too, not a single shiver had run down his spine caused by the chilly Earth Kingdom night breeze, and he was thankful.  
  
"Get ready, they are moving," Rei whispered to them and Zuko's attention was pointed at the guardsmen they were watching, preparing to change shifts.

According to what they had learned from the stalking so far, the team had approximately ten minutes (twelve if someone was late like with the last shift) to sneak into the first floor, settle the matter of the Admiral, and then head back out after cleaning up...the mess. 

As soon as the guards vanished from the roof, the team drew their hoods up and leaped down from the terrace one by one, using the colorful tents of the houses as fall-breakers. Sticking close to the shadows and away from the blue luminance of the moon, they made their way to the back of the Admiral's house with haste.

Once there, Naoki tied some rope around the tail of a hooked arrow and shot it at the edge of the office's balcony, trying to contain the alarming sound of the metal hook against the concrete material. They each took turns on carefully climbing up the rope, Rei being the last one to mount on the balcony with them. 

The curtain of the window was drawn closed, gaining them some time before the Admiral was aware of their presence. Rei signed towards the glass door, using two of his fingers, and on cue Kyra kicked the golden handle off, granting them entrance.

They swiftly marched into Chan's office, Rei already having a nocked arrow pointed at him from a few feet's distance, while Takiyo and Naoki made sure all the curtains were closed and the main door locked. 

"Wh-What is this-" 

"Silence." Zuko interrupted Chan's puzzled stammering, abruptly. 

He walked over to his sitting figure and started to pat over his clothing, searching for any weapons. He was clean, of course. A firebender needs no weapons other than his fire, but the procedure was necessary. After that, Zuko remained by Chan's side, being the only one who could efficiently stop him, should he decide to so foolishly use his bending against them. Even though his eyes were hidden by the shadow of his hood, his gaze pierced the Admiral's left side, almost making him sweat under its influence.

"You, Admiral Chan, have disobeyed the crown's will and betrayed your Nation. For that, you ought to be punished." Rei stated with a low voice and aimed his arrow higher, between the Admiral's eyes.

"Betrayed?" he exclaimed in disbelief and with widened eyes. "I refused to abide by the Fire Lord's plan because it was ludicrous! Pure madness that would result in nothing but the loss of lives-"

"I said," Zuko interrupted again even louder this time, hating that he had to repeat himself. "silence."

Just then, the Admiral found it in himself to whip his head at Zuko's direction and settled his worried gaze on the prince's overshadowed features. 

"I know your voice," he said in a barely audible whisper, his look softening with every passing second. "Prince Zuko?"

Zuko finally realized why Chan's name ringed such an evident bell. It's been years since he'd last seen him and the passage of time hadn't been very gentle to the Admiral. His hair was grey beyond the premise of his age and that startling, welcoming shine he always had in his eyes seemed to have perished. 

Admiral Chan used to be a regular guest at father's military councils. During one of his visits, he caught young Prince Zuko trying to eavesdrop at the conversation happening behind the closed doors of the military chamber. He surprised Zuko when he appeared behind him unannounced, and the boy thought he would snitch him to the guards and he would get the punishment of a lifetime. 

Instead, Chan let out a soft chuckle and ruffled up Zuko's neat hair. He told him that he had a son too but he took no interest in the military, not the passionate kind Zuko did. After Zuko's body relaxed, no longer backing away from Chan's touch, the Admiral promised him that once he was of age, he would vouch for the prince and would let him have a seat next to him on the planning table.

That never came to be true, as Chan got involved in a lengthy pursuit of the Northern Water Tribe ships and stayed at seas for years to come, while Zuko found another way to get himself on that meeting.

Unconsciously, Zuko took off his hood, confirming the Admiral's suspicion of his identity. Yet, as he did so, a sharp gasp came out of Chan's mouth, and he immediately tried to cover it with his hand.

"Dear Agni..." he said almost mechanically whilst his eyes inspected the seared left side of Zuko's face in utter horror. "what did he do to you?"

It felt as though the Admiral's words sliced across Zuko's chest like a dagger. He felt physical pain upon them reaching his ears and he had to fight the urge to touch his face with every fiber of his being.

How dare he mention his scar? How dare he assume who the person that gave it to him is? How dare he be right? And how dare he look upon Zuko with this shocked, bewildered, and oh so pitiful expression? 

Who gave him the right to pretend he even cared that the gimmer of ambitiousness that Zuko's face once held was now gone, leaving only a hollow, disfigured replacement? Who gave him the right to read right through Zuko to see that he missed that glimmer? 

_How dare Zuko to miss that glimmer? Who gave him the right to question the lesson his father taught him?_

"That's enough." Kyra too took her bow off her shoulders and nocked an arrow onto it, within the blink of an eye. Her golden gaze flickered to Zuko's, searching for a sign, anything that could tell her what was going through his head at that moment.

If only she knew Zuko's head was void of any coherent thought, she would have maybe looked away.

"Zuko please, my boy, listen to me," Chan now fully turned in his chair and grabbed Zuko's forearms, squeezing them as if they were his lifeline. Perhaps they were.  
  
He was too startled to pull away. Too startled to do anything other than remain utterly still, holding the Admiral's petrified stare.

"Your father, he's devised a plan, a-a vicious, horrible plan. Sozin's comm-"

His words were cut short. As did his throat, by the arrow that went through it. 

Crimson red spluttered all over, including Zuko's forearms and his pale chin. He was disgusted, one step away from vomiting, yet he did nothing to express it. He only looked over Chan's now lifeless body and noticed his hands were still gripping Zuko's and his expression hadn't shifted. It still held that same terror it did just a second ago. And that was perhaps the saddest part.

Without Zuko taking any notice, Kyra walked over and detached the Admiral's cold hands from their grip on Zuko's. He still didn't move. His breath hitched in his throat, unable to either move up or down. 

Kyra took initiative and after pressing a white handkerchief on the wound, she slowly started to pull the arrow out of the body's throat, making preparations for getting rid of the body. 

It seemed like milliseconds to him, although Zuko must have been standing there for a good few minutes, his mind blank and his body frozen in place.

"Zuko," Rei's hand landed on Zuko's shoulder and he flinched. "you good to go?" he asked, nodding over to Takiyo and Kyra that had been lowering the rope-tangled body outside the window and into the local dumpster.

"They're back!" Naoki, who was keeping watch through the door's lock, called to them. 

Zuko finally found it in himself to snap out of his trance with a shake of his head. He rushed over to the Admiral's desk and swiftly whipped the splattered drops of blood that stained it. It was the least contribution he could offer since he'd spent half his time there transformed into a statue.

"We gotta move!" Rei warned in a hushed shout and they all rushed towards the balcony they entered through, with silent steps. 

There was a knock on the door and an attempt to open it by shaking the handle. There was no answer from the Admiral and so the two guards on the other side, kicked the door open, just as Zuko's feet disappeared from view, climbing onto the wall to reach the terrace.

The team met an idle surprise once they climbed onto the roof. The guardsmen were back at their posts earlier than expected, and they were most intrigued to see five archers clothed in black, standing on their boss's property. 

"The Admiral is gone!" a voice yelled from the balcony bellow.

No call for orders was needed from Rei after that. The group started speeding towards the edge of the roof, running past the guards who followed in pursuit. They each took turns on leaping off the Admiral's terrace and onto the next one, landing in a rough roll on top of the gravel infested concrete. 

The guards were firebenders, as expected, and they performed the jump with much more ease, possessing the aid of their fire. It was clear then, that they wouldn't be able to outlast them with speed, and so they would have to face the guards head-on. 

They looked over to the Lieutenant and he cast a sharp nod towards the guardsmen, giving them all the confirmation needed. In unison, the team split, the Seargent and Lieutenant on the left, and the two Specialists with Zuko on the right.

Zuko took out his bow and an arrow from his quiver and shot it straight at one of the guards' chest. It only served as a distraction, since Zuko knew fully well he'd manage to burn the arrow to crisps before it could even touch him. The distraction pulled off, and the moment the fire-shield cleared, Zuko spun a high kick on the guard's jaw, followed by an unsatisfying crack. 

He fell on the ground, a few feet further and unmoving when Rei's voice broke through the sound of raging fire and flying arrows.  
"Go!" he shouted and twisted the hand of the guard the was standing on top of, who screamed in agony. 

Takiyo was the first to abide by the Lieutenant's orders and made a run straight for the edge of the roof, Naoki right behind his heel. By this time, more of the Admiral's personal detail had been drawn to the roof by the noise of combat and were each jumping onto the nearby terrace to join the fight. 

Zuko picked up his pace right along with the Lieutenant and they both leaped to join Takiyo and Naoki with another two guards on their pursuit. They set their feet to the ground in a heavy landing and turned towards the benders, inviting the fight.

Fighting against firebenders, was not something the Yuyan were familiar with. Zuko, however, was an expert on the subject. Bending or not, he could defeat any of them with relative ease.

With no hesitation whatsoever, Zuko took a weighted swing one of the guards who wasn't wearing a helmet. When the guard's limp body fell and freed his view, Zuko noticed Kyra hadn't yet jumped across the space between the two roofs, too caught up in a fight with a bender.

Zuko watched as the Seargent snaked herself around the fire blasts thrown at her way, a prime example of flexible defense. She got close enough to grab the guard's arm, altering the course of the next blast, She pulled the guard towards herself abruptly and as he stumbled forward, she hit his throat with a straight palm, knocking his breath out of him.

 _"I'm a firebender, I can literally breathe fire,_ " Zuko remembered telling her on his first poison endurance class, and now Kyra was using this vital information in combat.

No breathing, no fire. Clever thinking.

Once free, and with her bow tightly gripped in her hand, Kyra started running towards the edge of the roof, determined to join the others. Her combat boot slid against the gravel and she leaped, knees drawn close to her chest, hands ready to take the impact of the landing but...

Too soon.   
She made the jump too soon, Zuko noticed. 

And unless something no less than a miracle occurred, she was going to fall to the bottom of the alley in between the houses.

She was going to fall to her death.


	8. Suspended

Zuko spent a second too long looking at Kyra's rolled up body as she leaped across the space between the roofs.

Her legs folded, so her knees would touch her chest. Her outstretched arms, keeping the balance and bracing themselves to endure the impact of the landing. Her black robe, whose tail hurdled through the wind like a ghastly shadow. 

Her petrified expression the moment she realized she jumped too soon.

Before he had time to rationalize and come up with a better plan, Zuko dropped his bow from his hand and called out with a powerful voice.

"Naoki, cover for me!"

Rather than waiting for Naoki's response, he ran. Ran with all the speed his legs could build up, straight for the edge of the roof, through the flaming attacks of the guardsmen. 

There was no time to either care for the fire wave blaring past his arms, or deflect it. He could have killed himself if it wasn't for Naoki's two arrows that penetrated the throat of each guardsman, through the weak spot of their metal armor. Zuko kept running past their dropping bodies, (almost) blindly trusting Naoki to take care of them.

He had his eyes fixated on Kyra's figure, coursing through the air, getting closer and closer on the edge with each passing second. Only, it wasn't close enough. Kyra's body unfolded from its perfect leaping form, now splayed out mid-air, her hand reaching for the edge of the stone. 

Her thin fingers grazed over the concrete slab, yet never gripped it. 

Even as quickly as he responded, Zuko didn't arrive on the edge fast enough. He had missed, if only for a quarter of a second. Kyra's hand was no longer in range for Zuko to catch and was rather falling. Tortureously slow. 

There was no way he could catch her. 

_Unless he fell with her._

Just as the force of gravity was catching on to Kyra, dragging her down the dark alley bellow, Zuko threw himself off the edge, head first, like diving into the calming sea, and not the absolute void. 

He hadn't realized how tall the colony houses were until he was free-falling from the roof of one. The pit of his stomach flew upwards, drop-kicking his heart into his throat.

His one hand drew his dagger out of his boot, and his other shot out to Kyra's reaching one. The tip of Zuko's fingers that stretched, near painfully, trying to cover the distance, brushed against Kyra's. The sound of the intense wind covered any other existing noise. It blew at Zuko's face, making his eyes almost tear up. Both his, and Kyra's clothing floated around like a consuming black void, under the wind's influence.

He sped down faster than Kyra, finally able to get a hold of her wrist. Within the blink of an eye, he pegged his knife on the concrete wall, and let it drag against the material. It made an awful, ear-piercing sound as it scraped against the stone, and it was all the more unbearable knowing that they kept falling. 

Zuko tightened his grip around the knife and pushed harder until the pressure on his hand was hurting his knuckles.

The dragging stopped and so did the falling sensation.

It was abrupt, sudden. Like they had fallen off a balanced net with a safety rope tied around their waist. They halted their movements. Zuko's breath got trapped in his throat at the slight bouncing he performed once the fall was cut. In response, Kyra returned the grip on the wrist.

The scrapped up pieces of the wall paint fell in Zuko's hair, and just then he noticed how far they had fallen. He looked up and saw the two houses towering over them and he felt like an insignificant ant. The bottom couldn't be seen yet.

Neither Kyra nor Zuko spoke of a moment. They just hand there, their raging breathing becoming an echo in the narrow alley. It sensed like hanging in the middle of the universe. Zuko could see nothing but darkness beyond his and Kyra's intertwined hands.

Their grip on each other's wrist was becoming uncomfortable and slippery. As though Kyra sensed his discomfort, she let go of Zuko's thin wrist. At first, Zuko yelped in surprise but shut himself up when he heard Kyra land on the ground with her feet. 

So that's how close they were. Only a few feet from busting their skulls open like two melons.

He snapped out of his trance with a shake of his head once the weight of Kyra left his care. He propped himself on the wall with his feet, pulling against the dig of his knife to get it out. It was rather a stupid idea, given the fact that Zuko fell on his butt when the knife sheathed out of the wall. A rather shortfall, but embarrassing all the same.

"Everything alright down there?" Rei's voice called from above the roof and popped his head off the edge to catch a glimpse of them.

"Um..." Zuko gulped and turned to look at Kyra. She did seem rather shellshocked, standing there with wild golden eyes that glimmered a certain way against the pitch black of the night.

She had no evident injuries from what Zuko could see, apart from her wrist, which he rubbed and held close to her chest.  
  
"Everything's fine!" he shouted just as Takiyo's and Naoki's heads appeared as well.

"Good." Rei nodded. "The city guards must have heard the commotion and are probably on their way here. We should leave immediately."

Takiyo threw Zuko's bow down to him, with a small chuckle, and nearly hit him in the head.

"Never drop your bow like this again, or I'll beat you with it, First Private," Rei remarked when Zuko caught it, casting a glare that was meant to be harsh but failed miserably.

Couldn't he just praise him for his good deed? Just this once? He'd thrown himself off a roof, for crying out loud. Where's his metal?

Zuko sheathed Iroh's dagger back in his boot, prepared to shoot a rope-tangled arrow at the top of the roof, and climb on it again. Kyra though outmatched him and had already set the climbing path when Zuko was mid-nocking an arrow to his bow.

She gripped the rope very loosely, her gaze somewhat drifting into nothing, instead of being focused at the task.  
"Why did you do that?" she asked firmly, her eyebrows furrowed in genuine confusion.

Zuko swallowed thickly and didn't bother pretending he didn't know what Kyra was referring to. It would be wise not to play stupid with her.

To be frank, he couldn't construct an appropriate answer, for he didn't know why he'd done it. He saw Kyra falling to her death and his immediate response was to fall right after her. Why? It was certainly not an act of compassion, for he knew there was no such attribute to his character. It wasn't out of care either. Out of everyone in the Stronghold, Kyra would be the second to last person Zuko would imagine putting himself in danger for. The last being Eichi. 

So what was it? Honor? Instinct? Lieutenant Rei's amiable character and ideals of team spirit rubbing off on Zuko? 

He didn't know. And all of these answers sounded stupid and vague and cheesy anyway, so he decided not to answer at all.

"It was idiotic," Kyra spoke again as a response to his silence. She wrapped the rope around her hand and et her feet on the wall, climbing it swiftly.   
"exposing yourself to danger, leaving your only weapon out in the open, delaying the team's escape-"

"Is this your way of saying thank you?" Zuko interrupted her with a scoff, raising his head to look up to her as she stood on the roof.

He hadn't just gone through all of this trouble to save Kyra from certain death, only to have her being an ungrateful piece of work. If not a medal, he at least deserved a thank you. Something in him knew that he shouldn't expect such a thing from Kyra, but she could just put on her best impersonation of a soldier mate and say the magic words. 

"I didn't ask for you to jump," she replied, in a way that reminded Zuko too much of himself. 

He rolled his eyes at the response, now half-realizing how annoying he sounded every time he refused to get someone's help. He grabbed the rope and started climbing, much less gracefully than Kyra. Just when he thought she couldn't possibly add 'annoying' to her list of irreversible vices, there she was. 

"Well unless you were planning on growing a pair of wings, I believe a 'thank you' is in order, for saving you from making the greatest and last mistake of your life!" he bit back, not meeting Kyra's gaze as he climbed.

He vaulted over the edge of the roof, properly stepping on it.   
"I just owed you one," he said, making a call-back to last night's events. "That's all. Otherwise, I might have just let fate decide your calling."

_Lies._

Zuko sometimes hated how much of a capable liar he can be. Albeit, it was a useful skill to have as a royal, and apparently, it served his sensitive ego well, too.

Kyra's gaze averted from Zuko's, almost as if making eye-contact with him burned her. She brushed past him and retrieved her arrow and rope, placing both in her thigh-strapped quiver.

"Aren't you tired of hating me?" 

This caught Zuko off guard.

"I...I don't.." his words trailed off, lingering in the space between him and Kyra as she walked away from the conversation.

He didn't hate her. Yes, he strongly disliked her for all her silent, brooding attitude and snarky, witty responses to everything. He despised the way she displayed her selfishness and loathed the way she could hold his gaze and glue him in place. He even holds a grudge against her for cracking his otherwise well-shaped nose and punching nearly every organ in his chest area. Although he has himself to blame for that too. But no, he doesn't hate her. That would be too much work.

Zuko had other, more pivotal people to hate. Like himself, for example. Yes, the hatred he had for himself took up most of his mental energy. Everybody else, he merely didn't care for, or in Kyra's case, disliked. 

She was right about one thing, though. He was tired of disliking her. Exhausted, in fact. It was time-consuming and now required actual effort, since she wasn't exactly handing him reasons to dislike her, as of late. If anything, trying to keep a negative attitude against her was growing harder and harder, the more she was attacking him with her unexpected displays of respect, and sudden interest in lightning-wielding abilities.

"I don't care enough about you to hate you," he grunted, falling in step behind her.

What he said wasn't an accurate representation of his thoughts, yet that's what his mouth chose for him, and he went along with it. 

The rest of the team had sped off, expecting Kyra and Zuko to pick up their trail soon enough. They knew their way back, certainly. But, at this rate, with their constant bickering and annoying banter, they would never catch up. 

"Feelings are mutual." she shrugged shot another rope-tied arrow at the next visible roof, swinging from it at a terrifying speed.

According to the rumors, the Yuyan archers had mastered the art of stealth. They say they move like cats, agile and unseen. That much was clear to Zuko as soon as he stepped foot in Pohuai, though some archers shone a bit brighter. Rei, for example. Zuko imagined cats would beg Rei to teach them his ways.

Kyra was different. Her movements resembled the ones of a mantis: abrupt, but quicker than the eye can see. That's how she fought as well. Too quick for Zuko to defend himself.

Zuko, on the other hand, was much slower, and his actions way more choppy. He wasn't exactly used to jumping on random people's roofs and swinging by ropes like a hog monkey. His soles still slipped, even though they were laced with rubber, and his shoulders would still bump on the walls when he came in with too much speed.

"Well," Zuko paused, trying to catch his breath after crouching down from a jump, for the fiftieth time today. "can't we just- I don't know- call it a truce?" he addressed Kyra, who at the sound of his voice peered over her shoulder with a raised eyebrow.

"A truce?" 

The faint silhouettes of Takiyo, Naoki, and Rei could be seen from a nearby roof, meaning Zuko and Kyra were speeding up. Well, Kyra was speeding up for the most part. Zuko was mostly slumping against the colorful tents and trying to pull himself up like an elderly slug.

"Yes," he paused to brush the dust off his clothes. "just us agreeing on not beating each other up and...not annoy each other."

She crossed her arms over her chest, ignoring Takiyo's yells for them to ' _move their fine asses._ '. Her lips pursed in thought until she finally gave out her hand for Zuko to shake.

He offered his own hand, a bit more abruptly and awkwardly, and shook Kyra's in agreement. 

"No beating." 

"Unless in training."

"And, no stepping on my last nerve." 

"Same goes for you."

When the team returned to the stronghold, Rei went straight up the stairs to Shinu's office to report the events of the mission, and Kyra stormed off, like she so often did without saying a word. Takiyo, Naoki, and Zuko decided to wait for the Lieutenant outside the mess hall, not feeling like climbing to their hanging spot right about now. They were too exhausted to even think about mounting the stairs to the top floors.

The three of them non-verbally decided on waiting in silence. Silence seemed to be the best choice, right about now. Zuko didn't feel like talking. Not that he ever did, but especially now. 

A fair amount of time had passed, yet Rei hadn't descended the stairs yet, which was somewhat concerning. While they waited, Zuko sat on the floor with his back against the cold wall, desperately trying to chip the stains of the Admiral's blood off his wrist's skin. The damn thing wouldn't get off without having to wash it. 

Takiyo leaned his back against the same wall, hovering over Zuko like a shade-providing tree. He kept letting out exasperated sighs, while making awkward movements with his hands, not knowing where, or how to place them. Zuko would bet his money that Takiyo was inwardly cursing about not having his Kiseru pipe on him.

Naoki on the other hand, stood standing across from the two of them, too distracted with snapping the fingers of her hands back in place, to get a sniff of the uncomfortable atmosphere. Most of her bones were extremely fragile, but especially the ones on her hands, having been broken more times than one should have to count. The sight of her cracking them back in place, whilst her tiny tongue was trapped between her teeth, was something Zuko was slowly getting used to.

"If no one is going to talk about it, then I might as well..." Takiyo shattered the tangible tension amongst them.   
Zuko raised his gaze, intrigued by what he had to say.

"The Admiral, people," Takiyo nodded, searching Zuko's and Naoki's faces for any sign of agreement. After he realized neither of them understood where he was getting at, he decided to voice his thoughts, right off the bat.

"Look, I know a traitorous pig when I see one, and all I'm saying is..." he huffed in reluctancy. "Chang looked more like a pitiful sheep to me."

A kind of awkward silence engulfed them, worse than the previous one. Far worse.

"Well," Naoki started with a guilty expression but didn't finish her thought.

Zuko opened his mouth, not yet sure of what he should answer to that. Did Zuko agree with Takiyo? Partly. Chang did look like a pitiful sheep, even as he drew his very last breath. But that didn't rule out the possibility of him being a traitorous pig on the inside. And based on high-ranking officers like Shinu and Zhao...that's what he was. 

Whatever he was about to say was cut short by the sound of heavy footsteps, descending the stairs. As soon as Rei came into view, the three of them straightened up and turned to look at him. Unfortunately, judging by his stomping, his furrowed dark eyebrows, and his aggravated huffs, Lieutenant Rei wasn't bearing good news. 

Naoki inconspicuously leaned closer to Chopstick.  
"I don't like that look," she whispered before Rei stepped into the appropriate hearing range. 

Zuko gulped. He didn't like that look either. Last time he'd seen Rei wear it, Zuko was laying on a hospital bed with a broken...everything.

"What is it?" Takiyo decided to assume the role of the bold one, out of the three, asking what everyone else was silently wondering. 

Rei took a large intake of breath, attempting to channel his nerves.   
"I'm suspended from Shinu's council for the next military meeting." he let out, powering through the sentence with an ironic smile and a stiff shrug.

"What?" Zuko exclaimed, way louder than the hour permitted. 

A short-lived, empty laugh escaped Rei as he became more furious by the minute.   
"Yes, apparently, by having to face and kill the guards, we made 'an inexcusable mess'." the Lieutenant air-quoted, so obviously mocking the person who used these words.

"So I told Shinu that we didn't expect to meet any guards and that they didn't halt when we showed them our tattoos, but then Zhao cut in the conversation, like an entitled little fuck, and blatantly told me that I should know better than to engage in conflict with benders."

Zuko's blood started to boil, slowly but steadily, and before he knew it, his hands were clenched into fists at his sides. How dare Zhao insinuate that the Yuyan were any less capable than Chan's soldiers, just because they are non-benders? They were specifically chosen to follow through a life-threatening mission, without having been given nearly as much information as they should have been, and then Zhao gets to be mad when there were complications? And on top of it all, he calls them inferior. Zhao, of all people, who's jurisdiction is a few hundred miles into the depths of the ocean, and shouldn't even be allowed to voice a peep in this stronghold.

"Well, after that I lost my cool and started blaring all things concerning the said 'secrecy' of the mission, and the fact that Sergeant Kyra almost fucking died, and...that's when Shinu decided to put on his big-boy-pants and suspended me for talking back."

Takiyo scoffed, his arms crossed over his chest.  
"That's rhino shit," he said and Naoki nodded in agreement. "Whenever did Shinu become Zhao's bitch? This whole situation just reeks of something to me."

Takiyo was right. This did reek of something. That something being a suspicious amount of withheld information. Or as Zuko liked to call it; lies. Shinu and Zhao were aware of the specifics around Chang's betrayal and yet chose not to share them. Whether it was to maintain their ranking superiority and ensure Lieutenant Rei's blind trust, or because there was something heavily concerning among those details that should not be put in the open. 

Since when did traitors obtain the right to a quiet passing, away from the public eye. Last time Zuko checked, the likes of Chan (or what Chan was made out to be) were sentenced to hang in his back yard. To be made a spectacle and an example of what happens when you turn your back on your Nation and your Lord. They never cowered away in some Earth Kingdom shithole, declaring their innocence in the middle of the night, when no one could hear their pleas.

What angered Zuko more than words could describe, was the look on the Lieutenants face. He was mistaken before when he thought it was the same one he wore when Zuko was hurt. Yes, both of these looks were ones of raging anger, yet the direction of the anger differed. The look Rei wore now indicated he was angry at himself. He was disappointed and furious but not with the person he should be. He no-doubt silently cursed at himself for the mistakes he thinks he made.

Zuko could almost hear his curses, for the sound of them was all too familiar. 

Rei didn't speak any more of the matter and so the group split, each to their dorms where they would pretend to sleep until the morning bell rung. At least that's what Zuko and Rei did. It was the first time Zuko had any company during his sleepless nights, and the first time Rei hadn't managed to fall asleep in a matter of seconds. Something troubled him deeply, Zuko could tell that much. He could both hear and sense Rei's constant tossing, turning and incoherent mumbles which he thought Zuko wasn't able to hear. 

Zuko was very much capable of hearing them but he didn't say anything. The thought of acknowledging the mumbles occurred to Zuko several times, though he never acted upon it. What was he even going to say?  
  
 _'Sorry that you were actively humiliated in front of your superiors, right after being put in a position where you had to attack your fellow soldiers of the Fire Nation, and then watched as two of your teammates fell off a roof...want to talk about it?'_

No that sounded stupid, even in his head. Zuko couldn't bear to imagine what it would sound like out loud.

So he just sat there above Rei's shaking bunk, in silence. The two of them pretended to be asleep, free of any lingering and haunting thoughts. That went on until the break of dawn when the bell rang and they were forced to meet the aftermath. 

Zuko pretended to go about his day like any other. Pretended like he didn't spend an extra five minutes in the shower, maniacally scrabbing away the spots where the Admiral's blood had splattered, even though there was no trace of blood left. Pretended he didn't see the Admiral's lifeless head with an arrow sticking out of his throat every time he shot at a target. Pretended he did not hear the same words he'd spoken to him the night before when he was repeating the same action blindfolded.

Zuko kept pretending until it was time for lunch and he couldn't bear to look at the red spicy sauce dripping over his bowl of shrimp.

"Hey," Takiyo greeted him in a strangely gentle and barely audible whisper and took a seat right next to Zuko, followed by Naoki.

Zuko pushed away his bowl in disgust, devoting his attention to Takiyo's suspicious actions. He took flitting looks at the other archers sitting around the hall, almost as to check if anyone was listening to them.

"Remember how Rei got suspended from a meeting?" he turned to Zuko, speaking in a hushed whisper.

"Unfortunately." he gruffed in response, still dying mad about it.

Rei was one of the most valuable and honorable soldiers in the stronghold. Not being able to execute his duties as a Lieutenant took a really heavy swing at his pride. If Rei was anything like Zuko, a bruised pride hurt him more than a broken back.

Takiyo leaned a bit closer.   
"Well, the meeting is happening right now, and they're discussing The Plan," 

The intended emphasis on the last two words made Zuko's nose scrunch up in question.  
"The plan?" he repeated.

"Yes, The Plan." Takiyo rolled his eyes, once again annoyed that Zuko wasn't grasping his awful attempt at discretion. "You know...the one that Chan allegedly refused to conform in and tried to warn you about it, in his dying state?" 

Zuko's eyes widened, finally understanding what Takiyo was trying to convey. He wasn't sure if he would allow himself to entertain the idea.

"Since Rei is not present, I think we should at least try to get a sniff of what's going on behind closed doors." 

"Are you suggesting we eavesdrop?" Zuko asked in a hushed whisper, causing Takiyo to tsk.

"No, what I'm saying is; The two guards outside the military chamber at the top floor, just so happen to be taking a break in right about..." he raised his head to peek at the pendulum clock of the hall. "Five minutes."

Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose.  
"Please tell me you didn't tip them off with-"

"Are we seriously doing this again?" Takiyo groaned, his voice at full volume. "Yes! I sucked their-"

Naoki's hands flew over Zuko's ears in a kind of motherly instinct, to cover whatever disgusting acts Takiyo was about to describe. Zuko shook his head and turned to shoot a harsh glare at Naoki, who shrugged and smiled innocently. 

On one hand, Zuko felt that he was entitled to the information that was so inexcusably withheld from him and his team. He wished to know what the Fire Lord's plan was, not because he had let Chan's dying words get into his head...no, of course not. It was because he had a right to know. He was, once again, the crown Prince. He would be returning home any day now and would be expected to contribute to his Nation's military activities. He had a right to know and no need to explain himself to anyone.

On the other hand, eavesdropping on a military council is an imperial offense. Should the three of them be caught red-handed, there would be severe punishment. The kinds that Zuko wouldn't even want to imagine. 

Should they be caught...but they wouldn't be.

"Let's go," Zuko stood from the bench and started walking, Takiyo and Naoki following suit with two hardy controllable smirks plastered on their faces.

The trio climbed up the stairs with their heads held high, their arms folded behind their backs and stone-cold expressions conquering their features. An honest attempt at convincing the other passing guards that they had business on the upper floors. It worked, for some unknown reason. No passer-by questioned their presence until Takiyo led them just outside the double doors of the chamber. 

No Yuyan were guarding it, as promised, and so they stood on either side of it, pretending to be the ones doing the guarding. Naoki was slightly fidgety, not looking too comfortable with the art of deception like Takiyo and Zuko were, yet no one seemed to get suspicious of it.

Zuko pressed his back a little closer to the door, trying to isolate the sounds of the hallway and listen to what was being said on the other side. 

_"The energy that the firebenders will be able to harness from Sozin's comet is unimaginable. Only once in a hundred years can a firebender experience this kind of power."_ a greatly passionate voice, which Zuko recognized as Zhao's, spoke.

Sozin's comet. Those were Admiral Chan's last words before Kyra's arrow schemed through his throat and left them hanging in the open air. That means Zuko was on the right path of discovering what sent the Admiral to the grave.

 _"The size of an air fleet, this plan demands, is outrageous!"_ someone else contradicted, the sound of their voice accompanied by the one of a fist slamming on top of a table. 

_"How are we supposed to gather enough soldiers to both burn down the impenetrable wall, and then be on the ready to keep the civilians in check once we enter the city? In less than two months?"_

Zuko turned to face Takiyo and Naoki, whose eyes were wide in realization.   
"The plan is to invade Ba Sing Se the day of the Great Comet!" Takiyo whispered and hand-slapped his own forehead. "Of, course! It's ingenious!"

Yes. Ingenious, indeed. Which was why something didn't sit right with Zuko. 

If the plan was to bring down the wall, why bother accumulating an air fleet? With this kind of power that the comet provides, firebenders might as well walk on foot outside the premises of the city, and burn the wall down with ease. No, the air fleet was for something else.

A humorless laugh was heard from inside the chamber and Zuko pressed his head on the door again.   
_"Oh, commander how you amuse me..."_ Zhao continued to graciously chuckle. _"We will not burn down the wall...only what the wall protects."_

Zuko's breath hitched and he backed his head away from the door. No, this couldn't be right. He overheard wrong. Zhao paraphrased. Zuko must have misinterpreted something. This is all wrong, it couldn't be what he understood. 

His head whipped towards Takiyo. The archer's previous carefree smile was completely erased from his lips. They were now parted in pure shock, making Zuko realize it wasn't a matter of misunderstanding. Naoki almost let out a gasp but managed to cover it by slapping a hand over her mouth just in time. 

_"We'll burn every last Earth peasant to crisps, and we'll seize the Impenetrable city. The Fire Nation will declare itself winner of the Hundred Year War."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may or may not have posted my sketches of Takiyo and Kyra on my tumblr page. May or may not, emphasis on may.  
> Oh and...big plot reveal, yeah that too.


	9. Existential Crisis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was a bit late, sorry everyone but....I have a sketch of Zuko on my tumblr to make up for it?

Zuko stumbled backward, away from the door, his mouth hanging agape and his eyes wild.

A chorus of mumbles followed Zhao's statement. Incoherent talking that Zuko couldn't process any longer. He remained still, looking at the wooden surface of the door while beads of cold sweat started forming on his forehead. What was going on in his head could be described as nothing less than havoc. A kind of havoc that made no sense whatsoever.

It couldn't be. No, his father wouldn't dare-

_Oh, but he would_ , a little voice spoke up in the back of his mind.

Zuko had witnessed the cruelty of his father enough times to know that its limits are unknown. He knows all too well how unforgiving, how ruthless, how merciless he can be. And although Zuko's knowledge of this comes from first-hand experience, the Fire Prince has always been the first person to make up excuses for his father's nature. He was the first to forgive, the first to try and understand. The first who would refuse to believe his father was anything but an admirable leader.

Much like he was doing now.

There was one excuse that stood above them all. The most common one. The one Zuko so often had to tell himself until he fully believed it.

_'I deserved it'_

A couple of clicking footsteps caught Zuko's attention and he whipped his head towards the other end of the hallway. The two guardsmen had returned, now slowly walking towards the chamber, chatting quietly amongst themselves.

"We have to find Rei," Takiyo swept into Zuko's view, grabbing him by the wrist. Despite being scrawny, Takiyo had a very strong grip, easily dragging Zuko's dumbfounded body down the wide corridor.

The two of them, followed by a nervous Naoki, brushed past the two oncoming guards, one of which tried to capture Takiyo's attention with an awkward clearing of his throat.

"Uh.., Specialist Takiyo may I-" 

"Absolutely not." 

Takiyo cut him off before he could even finish, and continued speeding, with his head held high and Zuko stumbling behind him. The guard was left with a pointer finger hanging in the air and a dropped jaw, as the trio took a swift turn and flew down the stairs to the basement.

Zuko's mind was reeling. It was running at a hundred miles per hour and it wouldn't stop. And as tiring and frustrating that was, Zuko didn't want it to stop. He was afraid that once it did, he should have to face reality in all its glory, and he didn't wish to do that.

He'd have to accept that this time there was no excuse in the world good enough to justify his father's decisions. No way to downplay the horrific aspects of the war he was waging. He'd have to finally hold his father accountable.

He _couldn't_ do that.

Once outside the Lieutenant's and Zuko's room, Takiyo and Naoki started banging loudly on the door, yelling for him to open up.   
Zuko felt like they were banging on his head and not the door. Too damn _loud_. Too damn impatient for him to face that reality. 

Rei swung the door open and nearly got a fist in the face, as a result of the non-stop knocking. He looked terrible. An absolute wreck.

"One time..." he starts in an almost whisper that promised to transform into a scream. "One time in my seven years of service, I decided to sleep during my free period. And you pull this shit?!"

There's the scream. Just as loud as the banging.

Zuko finally woke up from his numb state, his whole body tense, almost trembling, fuming. It was something he often did. He got angry, whenever he didn't know how else to be. Whenever his emotions got way too intense and were more complicated than he could handle. Anger always felt...simple. Understandable. Liberating.

He shoved past everyone and entered the room.  
"Get inside. Now," he demanded, his voice so gruff and low it didn't even sound his. 

Rei instinctively looked at Takiyo with a look that could be described as; "what did you do to him?" and Chopstick delivered a clear "oh, me?" back. Naoki interrupted their staring contest and ushered them both inside, closing the door behind her.

The room could barely fit all four of them while they were still standing and so Naoki took the liberty to sit down on Rei's bottom bunk. Takiyo moved a couple of the Lieutenant's books and half-rested on top of the desk, while Zuko and Rei took up the "free" space. Well, Zuko took up most of it, with his up-and-down pacing. 

"Is somebody going to tell me why all of you fuckers decided to throw a party in my room?" Rei asked, clearly not fond of the rearrangements in the room, including the extra roommates.

"Long story short," Takiyo took it upon himself to explain the gist of things. "we were eavesdropping at the council from which your ass was kicked out of, and got to listen to the Fire Nation's next big military plan which is...ahem...questionable."

"You what?" Rei growled in disbelief and turned to look at Zuko, somehow drawing to the conclusion that it was his idea. For once, it was not him cooking mischief. Not that he ever was. It just ended up looking like mischief.

An inevitable scoff left Zuko.   
" _Questionable?_ Perhaps that's a new word for genocide!" he threw his hands in an animated gesture.

His eyes were widened, his chest was heaving. He was a full-blown, raging avalanche of anger, ready to stomp on everyone around him. All the chaos in his head, called to him, begged for him to unleash it and Agni have mercy on whoever stands in its way.

"The Fire Lord- my father, he plans on attacking Ba Sing Se. He plans on whipping out the entirety of the inhabitants. Burn them to crisps, every single one of them. That's how he'll end the war...in in fire and ash."

"This..." Rei started, the same expression Zuko wore earlier on, was starting to draw itself on his face. The disbelief, the confusion. All of it.  
"This can't be true. There's no way..."

Rei looked around. He searched all three of their faces for any sign that Zuko was being dramatic. That he was exaggerating. There was none. The Lieutenant's eyebrows furrowed lending his features a puzzled look. He was at a loss for words.

"Victory is close at hand. Victory to a war that has been going on for almost a century! The very purpose of the war was to conquer, not to burn. You can't seriously believe that the Fire Nation would burn down the better part of the world that it's been trying to share its prosperity with!" Rei exclaimed.

Naoki looked away, not seeming eager to argue with him, though clearly walking a different wavelength. Takiyo stared at his lap with a shaking head. His arms were folded across his chest, and his jaw was locked in place, in what you'd call a defensive posture. 

Zuko stared down at Rei, not afraid one bit to challenge his intense gaze.

Agni, how he wanted to agree with him. How he wanted to believe in the war, to believe in his father's judgment. To believe this is all for the greater good of the Fire Nation. Of his Nation. He tried, even for just a mere second to convince himself of that. Just like how he'd tried during that meeting. But he failed. 

He heard the words come straight out of Zhao's mouth, and so did everyone else. Fire Lord Ozai was going to put an end to the war by demolishing the last city standing. The biggest city in the world, so stubbornly refusing to surrender. 

Zuko could no longer believe in his Nation. Not when he knew that innocent people would die for the sake of its greatness.

"Zuko you of all people should stand by me on this..."Rei took a step forward, almost confused as to why Zuko wasn't responding to his pleas for reason.

To Zuko's mind, that wouldn't be called reason any longer.

" _Look_ at me, Rei," he said sternly, pointing a shaky finger at the left side of his face. 

Try as he might, he couldn't maintain the calmness in his voice. Not as long as he was made aware of the scrunched up skin surrounding his left eye. 

"Look at my face and tell me this is not the deed of a man who's capable of _anything_!"

Zuko's screaming tone cracked at the end of the sentence. It was evident, resembling the breakage of a vase, or a wooden stick. It echoed through the small room, sending shivers down everyone's spines.

Rei shrank away from Zuko, his eyes glistening with an emotion he couldn't decipher. Naoki jumped to her feet and got between the two of them, her front-facing Zuko's still trembling finger. She attempted to lay her hands on his, but he flinched away from the touch as if it would burn him. 

The Stronghold's bell rung, at what someone could argue was a perfect time. Rei sighed and run a hand through his unruly hair, a gesture Zuko noticed he performed only when he was stressed. The sound of oncoming commotion filled the hallway outside the dorm. Chatter, footsteps, and creaking doors, all mingled around the tangible tension created in Zuko's room.

"We can't talk about this right now," Rei spoke first, his words drowned away in a gulp. 

Upon saying this, he opened up the drawer under his bunk and pulled out a clean robe which he threw over his long-sleeved tunic. Takiyo hopped down from the desk, hands still folded in front of him, and Naoki could only watch the tension dissolve, with her bottom lip trapped between her teeth.

"Tell no one of this, don't even discuss it amongst yourselves. You never know when someone is listening." Rei pointed around them in an order-ish manner.   
"We'll meet at the watchtower at midnight."

And with that, he was out the door. Zuko let out a heavy sigh as if Rei's absence gave him room to breathe again. Maybe it did...literally. The watchtower, at midnight. And then what? They fight again? They scream until their voice becomes hoarse and disappears? Or until someone catches them and they get punished? 

Zuko was the only one with real power over the plan. He was the Fire Prince. It's his army as much as it is the Fire Lord's and he couldn't just watch his father reign holy flames upon the world. Not if he has anything to say about it.

Which he doesn't. 

Not now at least. Not while he's sitting in this Koh-forsaken Stronghold instead of in the Palace's military chamber. His only hope of putting a stop to this madness rested upon returning to the Capital, effective immediately, and making his voice heard. 

Yes, because that went well last time...

No, this time is different. He has proved himself, he has earned his Yuyan colors. His opinions are valid, his voice is needed. Yes, he shall return to the palace and request for an alteration of the plans. He'll talk to his father and maybe...just maybe he'll listen. Zuko has learned from his mistakes, he has served his punishment. That should be enough to uphold his status. 

His father may be unforgiving, may be ruthless and merciless and cruel but if there's one thing he values is strength...and Zuko has shown nothing but strength for this past month. He will be heard...

_Right?_

Zuko could only hope he was right, for there was nothing else to hope for. 

He briefly looked at Takiyo and Naoki's faces that rigged of unspoken pitty. If there's anything Zuko couldn't handle right now, it was their pitty. Their unwelcome and indiscreet stares directed at his face. Their sad eyes and pressed lips.

He stormed out of the room, feeling like the atmosphere was causing him suffocation. He got out in the hallway and became one with the sea of archers. He had no real destination or purpose, Just the need to get fresh air, and that drove him towards the main entrance of the stronghold.

"First Private Zuko," a voice called to him. A voice that belonged to someone who Zuko wished to light up like a campfire.

He rotated his body to face Zhao, who stood before him with a self-satisfactory smirk. For a moment, a wave of worry washed over Zuko, thinking that his eavesdropping didn't go unnoticed. Yet, the expression he wore was one of absolute emptiness that spoke nothing of worry. Just a tiny hint of undissolved anger.

"May I have a word?" 

"I'm busy." Zuko spat back, yet it didn't seem to have any effect on Zhao's patronizing smile.

"Oh, that's too bad," he responded, false regret painted all over him. "I wanted to talk to you about your promotion letter."

These words grabbed a hold of Zuko's heartstrings and pulled with all their might, tearing them off. He didn't speak but didn't walk away either. That seemed to further the smirk on Zhao's face, as well as Zuko's urge to burn it off.

"A letter came from the Palace, only moments ago..."

This is it. This is his chance to make things right...

"Your father is pleased with your feat, and hopes to hear more of you through the rest of your stay."

What.

" _What?_ " Zuko barked, catching the unwanted attention of a few passer-by's. "What do you mean the rest of my stay? I won my colors, I am a Yuyan!" he lifted his sleeve and showcased his tattoo in a display of aggravation.

No, no, no, this can't be happening. Not now, not like this. Not with Zhao in his face, smirking with an air of superiority. 

"Well, you were enlisted for the whole semester, if I'm not mistaken. You're welcome back at the Capital once you finish it. In five months."

Zuko's lips parted, no words coming out of them. His fists well balled at his sides, one moror Zhao's patronizing looks away from igniting in flames. he watched Zhao leave his presence with no more than a nod of acknowledgment. 

So that was it then? Zuko had been publically humiliated in front of his whole court, threatened with banishment, then cast away from his home, and was sent on a military base, with a reputation for killing off its trainees...all for nothing. He'd crawled through literal mud to get where he is, to receive his colors, to recite the Yuyan Hymn as the Colonel marked him worthy...all for nothing. 

And that was the moment Zuko faced reality. 

The moment he realized that nobody gave two silver pieces about whether Zuko would receive his colors. No one would even care if he became a High General overnight. It didn't matter. Not even in the slightest. He would always be seen as an incompetent piece of dirt. An embarrassment to the Royal line. A second to his sister. A failure.

Zuko was sent in Pohuai in the hopes that he wouldn't return alive. 

He saw that now. And it hurt. It hurt a whole damn lot.

An unknown sensation crawled up his spine and he loathed it as soon as he felt it. His heart sank at the bottom of his existence and his breathing halted, all at once. Whatever it was, it felt as though the weight of a thousand suns had just been thrown at his lap. As though the very last piece of his honor, to which he clung for dear life, had just been stepped on repeatedly until it turned to irreversible dust. Dust, which then Zhao picked up and threw back at his face. No air entered, or exited his lungs for a bit. It ached, but at least his brain was numbing, clouded by a thick fog.

He hadn't realized how much time had flown by, during which he was standing in the middle of the Main Hall, having a minor existential crisis. And to be frank, he didn't much care. He could stare in the void for as long as he felt like it. He had until midnight.

_Midnight_. He was supposed to meet Rei, Takiyo, and Naoki at midnight. 

He was supposed to go and discuss what they heard in the council. He was supposed to have a plan on how to prevent that catastrophe and now he had nothing. His whole plan relied upon returning to the palace, and now he had nothing.

That plan was long gone and that was a terrifying concept. Without his plan he had nothing to counter Rei's adamant beliefs, no way to convince him to face reality the way Zuko was forced to do. And if Takiyo and Naoki decided to remain silent again, he would not only have nothing...but also no one. Of course, he couldn't blame them for that. They were Rei's friends and Zuko was just some hot-headed insect who was thrown into their life by accident. Why would they support him, over their friend? Especially now that he has no plan to convince them.

He needed a new plan. One that didn't rely on his connections to the Palace. One that could stand against the Fire Nation, like concrete in front of a moving object. But more than that, he needed an ally. Someone to back him up, like Takiyo and Naoki, do with Rei.

The only issue was, that Zuko, unlike the Lieutenant, had no friends. There was only one other person outside Rei's friend group that Zuko could ask for help. He didn't exactly consider them a solid ally, but there was no time for a better solution. 

And that person just so happened to be descending the stairs with quick little steps.

He pushed his way through the crowd, following Seargent Kyra down the stairs of the basement with quicker steps than her own. When she had finally caught on his presence, Zuko had already cut in front of her, halting her steps.

"I need your help with something." he breathed urgently, holding out a hand. 

Kyra sighed deeply, and it somehow seemed to Zuko that she was avoiding his gaze.  
"Now is a terrible time." She tried to move past him.

Zuko would disagree. It was as good a time as any. Before Kyra could get away from him, he caught her wrist, opened the nearest door, and spun them both inside the unfamiliar room. It was a supply closet. A dark, stuffy, and smelly supply closet.

Kyra snatched back her hand, her eyes wide with a hint of fury.   
"What, do think you're doing?" she seethed and took a daring step forward. Zuko stood tall, blocking the door, unfazed by her deathly stare.

"Please, don't scream." he blurted once he'd realized what a terrible idea this was.

Kyra tilted her head and started cracking her knuckles, one by one.  
"You'll be the one screaming unless you step away from the door." 

He opened his mouth and let the mess unfold. He told her everything, from the Fire Lord's plan, his fight with Rei, and Zhao's announcement, to his mind-numbing stress and the constant feeling of the ground disappearing beneath his feet. Ignoring every single point Rei had made about secrecy, he let Kyra know all the details of how the chaos began, and how they were planning to end it at midnight.   
He said it all under a single breath and regretted doing so immediately after. Not because he had disobeyed Rei (yet again), no. It was because of that puzzled look tattooed on Kyra's face while he was talking, that made Zuko want to take it back and evaporate into thin smoke.

Kyra answered his lengthy rant with a single word.  
"And?"

Zuko was confused for a moment, pissed even, but decided to ignore it for the moment.  
"And I need you to help me convince Rei to put a stop to it." he gestured around as if what he was implying was obvious.

"What makes you think I give a damn?" 

She was close to his face. Dangerously close. 

"We murdered a man who stood up against genocide and you don't care?" he shouted in disbelief, which was probably an awful idea given the fact he had locked both of them in a supply closet.

"No," she replied, her voice hushed but sharp. "I am a Yuyan, Zuko. My job is to take orders and execute them to stay alive, not question the morality of my superiors."

The way she framed the subject, so coldly and calculating, it was as if she was talking about someone else's life and not her own. Zuko wouldn't admit to himself that being a soldier was reduced to blindly following orders, no matter how cruel or hurtful their outcomes would be. Being a soldier, in his book, meant to serve your country with honor and pride. To seek ways to better your Nation and challenge those who threaten to harm it, whether those are its enemies or its own people. 

"Don't just sit there and pretend this is all beneath you because I know damn well you at least care about something." he gritted his teeth and straightened his back, towering over her figure like a shadow.

"Really?" she raised her eyebrows in pretense-wonder. "What might that be?" 

"Fair play," Zuko fired-back, not exactly thinking it through before he did.   
"During our fight, you could have broken me way worse than you did, but instead you let me get up every time I fell, and then you ended the fight before I had said 'tap'. You could have hit me with your hairpin in the Trials, and I might have missed the mark, but instead, you let me have my win. You played fairly."

Kyra's face had softened. She no longer looked angry, or offended, or spitful. The crease between her dark eyebrows had been smoothened over, and her lips had fallen into a relaxed, thin line.

"Attacking Ba Sing Se and killing its citizens when they are at their most vulnerable, is not playing it fairly. It's not honorable, and it sure isn't right."

There was a pause. A pause during which Zuko's chest rose and fell too evidently, and the sound of his heartbeat had become too loud. A pause during which he and Kyra stood and stared at each other under the hideous, piss-yellow, and dim lighting of the closet. A pause where Zuko tried to persuade Kyra, by just burning his golden, near pleading gaze, into hers and praying that he wasn't wrong about everything he'd said.

"Maybe," Kyra finally replied, her voice barely audible. "But war is never fair, nor honorable, nor right."

She lightly pushed past Zuko's rigid body and exited the closet, before he could say anything to stop her. Not that he would have. He was too startled, and most of all, too tired to chase after her. He was mentally _exhausted_. Exhausted of trying to convince everyone to see the world through his eyes.

He quickly discovered that being exhausted was way worse than being angry. At least anger could be expressed. He could throw things, light them on fire, scream at everyone, and no one all the same. Pull his hair, punch a hole into the nearest wall and break his hand. 

Exhaustion was...well. It made him want to curl up into a ball and lay on the floor. It made him want to sleep for a couple of decades and wake up when all of his problems would have disappeared. He couldn't do that, though. And therefore, he was stuck with the feeling. He detested it.

A little time before midnight, Zuko climbed up the stairs to the top floors, with heavy steps and an even heavier heart. He was prepared to meet his three comrades and merely nod at everything they said without displaying any kind of disagreement. And what would he say anyway? Every idea that he had concocted up until then had one too many holes to fill. Perhaps his plans would end up being worse than doing nothing at all. And so he would do nothing.

When he came to the top of the stairs, Zuko came face to face with a cross-handed Kyra, leaning against the door that led to the wall bridges. When their eyes met, Zuko froze in place. 

Kyra sighed, seeing that Zuko wouldn't be the one to open up a conversation.

"We agreed that we wouldn't step on each other's nerves," she started. "and um...I guess refusing to help you would kinda piss you off so uh...well, I came."

Her awkward demeanor was one that Zuko hadn't seen before. She had the same pursed lips, stiff stance, and slitted eyes as always, yet her voice chose to pitch over certain words, and her speech was filled with 'uh's and 'um's, in a way that made her sound uncertain.

"I'm not promising anything though. I'll just hear what y'all have to say."

Zuko couldn't fight the small smile that crossed his lips. It was like a fling. Bright and sudden, though slim and short. It vanished as soon as it appeared, and before Kyra could see it. 

"Thank you." was all he managed to say, but it was enough.

Even from outside the door of the tower, Takiyo's and Rei's voiced could be heard quarreling. There were some occasional pitches of Naoki's, telling them to shush and calm down, but they were drowned beneath the guys', just like Zuko's repeated knocks on the rusty door were.

The Lieutenant's face changed about three fonts the moment he opened the door. First, there was surprise at the fact there was not only Zuko standing at the opening but Kyra as well. Then there was a short kind of anger directed at Zuko, for throwing his instructions at an imaginary trashcan. And then there was irritation, serving as a lighter form of the previous anger, just when Rei realized Kyra's presence could do more good than harm. It was her arrow that killed the Admiral, after all. She deserved to be there.

"Come in," he gruffed, and Zuko, for one, was glad Rei hadn't decided to give his other feelings a voice.

"Finally!" Naoki exclaimed in a groan. "Someone that can help me contain these two!" she gestured between Takiyo and Rei, at which they gave her two sidelong glares.

"Just to brief you guys in," Takiyo flipped a hand at Kyra and Zuko. "I've been trying to explain to Rei that we can't just pretend we never heard the plans, and go on about our days! What if more generals decide to oppose, and we're asked to silence them, huh? What, are we going to turn the whole Stronghold into an assassin camp?"

Well, at least they were all on the same page that the plan to burn Ba Sing Se was real, and not a fragment of Zuko's vivid imagination. Now it was all a matter of whether they would do something about it or not. That's progress.

An ironic smile played on Rei's lips, directed at Takiyo.   
"And I've been trying to explain to Takiyo that if someone figures out you were eavesdropping that council, they will trial you for conspiracy, or better yet treason, and you'll hang!" he shouted. "For the love of the spirits, why must you interfere with affairs that are beyond your reach?" 

Takiyo chuckled, not able to control the roll of his eyes.  
"That's over and done with now, and there's no point dwelling on it and lecturing us. What we should be focused on is what happens next."

"What happens is that you keep your mouths shut and watch your backs until Zhao is out of Pohuai and I'm briefed in by Shinu on what's exactly is going on!" Rei continued the cycle of yelling. "And if killing more generals if what we're asked to do, then so be it. It's either kill or be killed."

"Neither, preferably," Naoki grumbled from the side, cuddling her knees to her chest to hide her little pout.

Zuko was more than surprised to find out Takiyo was the one who stood against Rei, in favor of taking action. He'd expect him and the Lieutenant to be on the same side, if not for the fact that their morals aligned, just because of their friendship. 

Now though he realized it wasn't a matter of morality or the friendship that united the two. It was a matter of obedience to authority. 

Lieutenant Rei swore his allegiance to the Fire Nation and was an exemplary loyal soldier, whereas Takiyo enlisted into the army as a means to survive. One of them had respect for the authority, and the other did not. One was a soldier, and one was an opportunist.

The sole thing their views had in common, though, was that none focused on saving the people of Ba Sing Se. They focused on the functionality of the Stronghold, and essentially, how to save themselves.

"So, none of you actually care about the millions of people that are going to _burn alive?_ " Zuko turned at them with a hard look and the arguing momentarily stopped.

"Saving those people is something well beyond our reach, Zuko," Rei started, his voice soft and eyes glistening in the dark. He made it clear he wasn't looking to fight with Zuko again, and that he was only trying to keep him calm.

"The only way the people of Ba Sing Se could stand a chance against the Fire Nation during the comet is if they knew of the plan beforehand."

Rei halted his words just as he finished that sentence, and in turn, a realization hit Zuko like a splash of cold water. Naoki's head shot up from its hiding position, Takiyo's lips parted, and Kyra straightened her back, all at once. 

"That's it," Zuko murmured, looking down. "We have to warn Ba Sing Se! W-We can get the detailed scrolls of the plans and-"

"And what?" Takiyo interrupted his unfinished train of thought.   
"We send a message hawk? Assuming we can even steal the scrolls, and send off the hawk ourselves, what makes you think the bird won't be shot down the second someone realizes it's carrying the scrolls?"

Zuko wanted to call Takiyo an infuriating know-it-all but contained himself. If anything, he was being realistic and logical. Zuko couldn't shout at him for that.

"What if we're the messenger hawk?" Naoki peeped and all heads turned to her. "You know...we take the scrolls to Ba Sing Se ourselves."

"That's insane," Kyra shook her head. "You won't be authorized to that kind of transport, especially if someone figures out the scrolls are missing. Unless you want an arrow pegged at the back of your neck, then great."

"We don't need to be authorized," Zuko answered her before anyone else could. "We can just...leave." 

It sounded much less ludicrous in his head. Now that he'd said it out loud, it sounded like the words of a madman.

"Escape?" Rei exclaimed and glanced around as if to make sure no one was listening in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, it sounded way more insane out loud.

"It is the only way!" Zuko threw his hands around, which didn't make his talking sound any saner. "If we try to do it by the book, we'll get caught, and not only will the scrolls never arrive in Ba Sing Se, but we'll hang for high treason. Escaping with the scrolls and making our way to the city as travelers is the only way."

All fell silent. No one dared express their views just yet. Almost as if they were afraid to say yes. Zuko knew what he suggested was too dangerous, too risky, and overall...too much to ask of them. 

There was nothing left for him in Pohuai. No goal to achieve, no purpose, no drive, no nothing. Going home used to be what kept the little fire in him alive, and now that fire had burned out. He wasn't sure if he could even call the Palace home at this point. What was there for him to call home? His father thought of him as a failure and his sister was there to prove him right. Mai must hate him with every fiber of her being and she'd be justified. The only family he's got left is his uncle, and he's in Ba Sing Se.

However, his feelings were most likely not an accurate representation of the rest. For the Yuyan, this was their home, ever since the age of fourteen. Assuming they would be willing to leave this all behind just to help Zuko, would be beyond selfish. 

And yet, that's exactly what he hoped would happen.

"I'm in," Naoki called, standing up from her chair and walking towards a startled Zuko. They came face to face and she put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing in reassurance. 

"I'll help you get to Ba Sing Se." she nodded with the brightest of smiles.   
  
Zuko wanted to say something, to thank her at the very least. Though his mouth was dry, and he seemed to have forgotten how the common tongue works. All he managed to do was stammer over various vowels and remain completely immobile with Naoki's hand still on his shoulder.

"Fuck it. I'm coming too." Takiyo shrugged as if it wasn't the biggest deal. "I'm sick of this hole anyways."

An exasperated sigh coming from Rei made their eyes land on the Lieutenant. He was pinching the bridge of his nose, his elbow propped up on his chest.

"You three will kill yourselves without me, so" his voice trailed off. He didn't exactly say he was on board, nor did he have too. Takiyo had already thrown a hand around Rei's shoulders, and Naoki had already jumped on the boys for, what seemed to be, a really tight hug. They ruffled up his already messy hair, all while he laughed at them to stop. They wouldn't.

Zuko turned his head to face Kyra, and his stomach churned when he saw her frowning at the floor, arms crossed over her chest. Somehow he already knew what her answer was going to be. He dreaded the moment it would come out of her lips.

"I can't," she muttered. The joyous laughs died down, the smiles were instantly replaced by looks of confusion, and everyone turned to Kyra seeking an explanation.

"I..." she started, gulping rising bile in her throat. She whipped her sweaty palms on her woolen pants. "I will cover for you, to the best of my abilities. No one will know of your plans until you're too far gone to care, I can promise that. But I can't come with you." 

The Lieutenant nodded as if he knew something, towards which everyone else was ignorant. Zuko thought back to when he forced Kyra into the closet when she told him that it wasn't a good time to talk. He thought that maybe that was the reason she said no, and if so, he could....fix it? Maybe if he would have asked what she was upset about, instead of bombarding her with his own problems, she would have said yes.

Or perhaps it was something else entirely, and Zuko was once again, acting like a self-centered, idiot. Why did he care about her coming along anyway? It's not as if he doesn't have enough back-up already, it's just...seeing her usual, intimidating demeanor torn down was unsettling. He wished Kyra would go back to making his skin crawl and not upsetting his stomach.

"Sergeant," he said, her name not feeling at home in his mouth. He took a step towards her without thinking it through.

She backed away from his hand, avoiding contact, and started stepping backward.

"I can't." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...plot has entered the chat. What do y'all think?


	10. Agni's Interesting Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I adore this chapter. That's it. That's the opening note.

_My life I give to my country._

One painful truth that Zuko and every other child of the Fire Nation had been taught since birth, is that their life...isn't theirs, to begin with. Their life, each Fire Nation folk's life, is Agni's gift to the world. It belongs to their Nation and its rulers, for them to use as they deem useful to the war. Agni's war.

_With my hands, I fight for Fire Lord Ozai and our forefathers before him._

To fight is to breathe. Those who have been blessed with inner Fire ought to tame it, to learn and wield it, to control it. Only through control can you master your inner Fire, and only through mastery can you be of service to your Nation. Those without the gift of bending, still fight, if not more than their counterparts. They strive twice as hard to become proficient in weaponry, and they are sacrificed twice as easily by the same Nation that claims to love them. 

_With my mind, I seek ways to better my country._

Of course, what use would be to fight without a purpose? The war is the Fire Nation's prime achievement. It is not only a way to assert dominance but overall prowess, as well. The war is how the Fire Nation's riches can be shared with the furthest ends of the globe. The War is how we better the world.

_And with my feet may our March of Civilization continue._

The mind, body, and soul of Agni's children all must be sacrificed for the greater good of their Nation. To ensure their history, their prosperity and their greatness can withstand the passage of time, and that the superior era they now live in, can last for eternity.

This is what Zuko has been taught. This is what Zuko knew and believed. This is what had been imprinted on his brain since the moment he could understand simple words. This is what he learned to say every day before his private history lessons, with his tutor's figure looming over him like a shadow. This is what he recited, only but a few days ago, while the golden luster of the dawn shone upon him, and Colonel Shinu swiped a red-painted hand under Zuko's eyes.

This is what Zuko was prepared to defy. 

His culture, his moral code, his entire way of life, he was prepared to sacrifice on the altar of 'The Greater Good'. Well, at least what he thought was the greater good. If he could be blatantly honest, he would admit to himself that he didn't know what was supposed to be the greater good anymore. 

Who decides what is the Greater Good? What will keep the balance of the World intact? This used to be the duty of the Avatar, but now who will take that responsibility upon their shoulders? Certainly not Zuko. He couldn't even tie his belt up until ten days ago, let alone save the better part of the world.

Still, he couldn't bear to stand by and do nothing while his father set the world on fire in the name of greatness. This wasn't greatness. That, at least, was clear and it was enough reason for him to escape Pohuai.

He thought of this as he sat on top of his bunk, long legs dangling off the edge awaiting for Naoki's signal. He picked the skin around his fingernails; a nervous habit he had tried many times to shake off, but couldn't. It was improper for a Prince's hands to look anything less than delicately perfect, and so every time he was caught on the act, the back of his hands would get slapped. Unfortunately, there was no Royal hand to slap his, right about now, and therefore he continued to pick at the strings of dead skin until he bled.

Although he was almost entirely focused on his hands, invasive thoughts still ran through the back of his head. That icky, familiar sense of feeling like you have forgotten something when clearly that's not the case, and you end up triple checking every action of yours. 

The four packs he was assigned to prepare were ready, laying on the carpeted floor below him. Each was packed with a warm change of clothes, (stolen from the Stronghold's supply closet), flasks filled to the brim with water, two days worth of food (sneakily stolen from the mess hall, during dinner), and a handful of pain-killing herbs and bandages (those weren't technically stolen, the nurse provided them to Zuko and he just stocked them instead of taking them).

The dancing flame of the candle sitting atop the dorm's desk annoyed Zuko. Its abrupt and unpredictable movements somehow agitated him, and he wished to blow it out, though then he wouldn't be able to see anything.  
Not that the whole "sight" thing has been working great for him recently. His left eye's abilities had been compromised due to the lack of proper care he received for his burn. Sometimes things would get blurry, and strong lights bothered him quite a lot. It was something he would regretfully have to get used to. 

He locked his eyes onto the yellow flame and inhaled deeply. What's a little use of firebending compared to what he was planning to do? It wasn't as if someone was going to barge into his room anyway. 

His chest rose and fell, each breath lulling him deeper and deeper into a state of prime concentration until his vision could focus on nothing other than the tiny, dancing flame. It was such a simple, almost childish exercise, yet it still took Zuko some time to execute. Too much time for the training level of the Crown Fire Prince.

Eventually, the candle fling bowed to him, and only moved should his breath allowed it. The mundane exercise seemed to occupy Zuko for quite some time until a sharp knock was delivered on his door. He whipped his head at the direction of the sound, just at the moment when the flame slipped out of his control and back to its swinging movements.

Zuko jumped down from the bunk and opened the door if only by a slit, to reveal a pair of warm brown eyes and an even warmer smile. 

"Ready?" Naoki whispered, trying to sneak a peek at the packs laying on the floor of the room.

Zuko nodded and threw Naoki's pack at her while swinging the other three over his shoulders. In the act of walking out, he couldn't help but long for one last look of his room.

The limited, nearly non-existent free space. The chipped wood at the right corner of the desk, from when the Lieutenant threw a book at Zuko for mocking his height. The maroon blankets, made out of the worst material one could possibly acquire, which gave Zuko burns during his first few days here. The soundless sleeping patterns of the Lieutenant that oftentimes helped Zuko drift to sleep himself. The dryness and humidity that gave him all the more reason to shave off his hair. 

Much as he hated the realization of it...he was going to miss this room. No such feeling of bittersweet nostalgia had hit him when he was leaving the palace. Perhaps because he was sure he would return, whereas now, everything pointed to the fact that he would never catch a glimpse of this tiny room ever again. And that somehow made his stomach churn unpleasantly.

He closed the door, ensuring it didn't make any alarming sound and followed Naoki's steps down the hallway and up the stairs. Getting on the top floors without any Watchdogs taking notice of them, was a piece of cake. They had been doing it almost every night in order to get to the Watchtower. Spirits, they had even done it under the influence of cactus juice, although that took a bit more time and effort.

Now, going around the double-doored, functioning towers and making it to the outer wall? That was the hard part. 

"I scouted the bridges, twice," Naoki whispered, leaning closer to Zuko, as the waited in the shadows of the dark halls for any sign of Rei and Takiyo. "the guarding is low. With a little extra luck, we'll be able to get to the outer wall without anyone noticing." 

"I was hoping we would rely on something more than luck for this," Zuko muttered, taking a flitting look at his now destroyed fingernails. Naoki slapped his hands to get rid of his tempting thoughts. 

"Life is full of surprises," she smiled in response to Zuko's scowl. "whether you read these surprises as luck or misfortune that's up to you."

Zuko didn't get to think of a cleverly pessimistic reply, distracted by the sight of Rei and Takiyo, walking down the hallway towards them with a quick footing. The Lieutenant had three bows over his right shoulder, the less decorated of which being Zuko's. On his other shoulder were strapped three sets of ropes and three quivers, stuffed to the breaking point with arrows. He gave one of each to Zuko and Naoki, and in exchange, Zuko handed him one of the packs he was carrying. 

Takiyo was carrying a tall set of loosely tied scrolls, and Zuko immediately felt chills run down his spine. These thin sheets of paper withheld the signed death penalty of Ba Sing Se, and they were now on their hands. He didn't even dare ask how Takiyo got his hands on them, but he had never been more grateful for the boy's questionable skills. 

"Everything set?" Rei asked, adjusting the straps of his pack to fit his built. 

The rest of them nodded in unison, stoic, yet confident expressions painted on their faces. Yes, everything was set. Everything except for Zuko. Things were so much simpler for him when he stormed at every little obstacle with no plan, and only his intense determination to drive him. Now, he had time to think, to plan, to question and to nervously bite his nails. 

Zuko made sure not to show any kind of hesitation, and just followed the three of them through the door and out on the bridges. The chilly breeze of the night mingled between their hair before they blocked it with their hoods. Their movements were quick as a flash of lightning and silent as the grave. Step by step they sprinted across the stone surface of the bridge, distancing themselves from the fort until they met with the first line of functioning watchtowers that laid between them and the outer wall. 

Their lights shone against the black sky, like golden beads on a fine maiden's dress. Quiet chatter could be heard from the nearest one, and the smell of burnt butter from the cheap oil lamps attacked Zuko's nose. By Rei's signal, the team split to the edges of the bridge, their black clothing becoming one with the shadow of the tower so that they could sneak around it by walking on the thin stone slab that encircled it. 

Zuko hadn't expected the unknown height of the bridge to intimidate him, but as he was circling the outer part of the tower with his chest flat against its walls, he felt a sting of fear crossing his stomach, and his heart skipping a few beats. He held his breath, making it his point to stare at Takiyo who balanced right beside him and not at the void below. 

They were only a few steps away from the other side. The plan got particularly simple once they made it there. Run. Run as fast as their legs could carry them until they reach the end of the bridge and jump off the outer wall. With just the right amount of Naoki's precious luck, the men on the watchtower wouldn't take notice of them until it was too late and they'd be swinging down the other side of the stone wall, ropes clad in their hands. 

Too bad Naoki's prayers for luck went unanswered for.

An alarming sound of wood scratching against stone ripped through the dead silence. It wasn't particularly loud. Someone could argue that it was barely even audible. For a Yuyan hunter though, it was deafening. The sound came from the other side of the tower, the one Naoki and Rei were pressed against. Zuko quickly figured that one of their bows' tails must have made contact with the tower's wall, as a result of some clumsy movement. 

Both him and Takiyo froze, breaths trapped in their throats, eyes refraining from blinking. The sound of faint footsteps, coming from inside the tower, traveled through the air, and reached their ears. The Watchdogs were onto them. The team was one head-turn away from getting busted with the planning scrolls in their hands. One glance away from getting beheaded. 

Zuko spotted the back of an archer's head, standing alone on the bridge and scanning it for moving figures. It moved slowly, taking in every sharp detail of its view except for what laid behind it. All it took was one rotation and the archer would meet the sight of four fellow, black-dressed Yuyan, hugging the sides of his watchtower, while carrying a giant scroll case.

That glance never occurred. The archer huffed in annoyance, evidently pissed that he got up from his seat for nothing, and got back inside with a hand rubbing over his tired eyes. Zuko still held his breath, not daring to let it go, until Takiyo gave him a sign that he could.

His heart didn't get the chance to start beating again, for the moment the archer returned to the tower, a booming voice echoed through the night, spitting the exact words Zuko was terrified of hearing.

_"The Fire Lord's plans have been stolen!"_

It didn't take long for the young boy who cried out the message to emerge from the darkness that engulfed the part of the bridge they had left behind. And when he did, the first thing he noticed was four archers, suspiciously trying to steal away the very scrolls he'd just announced were missing. 

The team instantly hurried their last few steps, faster than the boy's screams could exit his lips. The four of them hopped back on the bridge just as the accusations on their names bounced off of every corner in Pohuai.

"They have the scrolls! Stop them!" 

And then came the Lieutenant's much sought for orders.  
"Run!"

And they did. They ran, legs stretching and folding with unimaginable velocity and hands attempting to keep their baggage in place. They sped across the bridge, not giving a care in the world of how loud their thudding footsteps were now. There was no point in keeping quiet when not only the Watchdogs from the tower but the whole stronghold would soon be on their tail. Despite their wishes to keep their escape's profile low, Agni had other, more interesting plans. 

It wasn't long before the first arrow was shot. Zuko saw it fly right past Naoki's chin, so horrifyingly close it made only but a slight scratching sound, but tore no skin. That arrow was a warning. The first and last one they would get, simply out of mandatory respect. It was hard, after all, not to recognize the Yuyan bows, quivers, and robes the four "thieves" were sporting. And for solidarity's sake, a fair warning for them to stop and surrender was the least the Watchdogs could offer.

Neither Naoki nor anyone else abided to the warning. They kept running at the same, if not accelerated speed. 

The second arrow wasn't a warning. Zuko heard it slice through the very molecules of the air, and for a moment he thought it would land on his back. He even hoped, for just a second, that it would. Not on a place that would cause any serious damage, however, he hoped the arrow would hit him, and not someone who didn't possess the self-healing abilities of a firebender. 

His wish was not granted and Zuko realized that when out of the corner of his good eye, he saw the arrow go straight through Takiyo's shoulder.

He let out a painful cry. Zuko felt that cry pierce through his eardrums, most painfully. It was a cry that would make the toughest, the bravest of men, squint their eyes and wince in sympathy. 

Takiyo lost his footing and took a dive straight for the stony ground, the case of scrolls slipping out of his hands. The scrolls bounced off the case and unfolded like a rolled-up carpet just as Takiyo's body met the floor with a hand pressing around the wound.

"Chopstick!" Rei was the first one to react, his running coming to a stop and his hands drawing out the bow that was hanging from his shoulders. 

Within the blink of an eye, Rei had drawn an arrow and had let it fly at the man that shot Takiyo before he had a chance to defend himself. The arrow served as a clean shot to the heart. A cold and bitter punishment for daring to hurt one of the Lieutenant's friends, yet merciful and quick, if you'd ask Zuko.

Rei and Naoki run straight for Takiyo's fallen silhouette. Zuko was frozen in place, his front facing their assailants. The Yuyan had a clear shot for Zuko's chest, throat, or head, but didn't take it. Zuko and his team were deserving of a slower, more agonizing, and public death. 

Although Rei's arrow took one of them out, the other two archers that were in charge of the watchtower seemed entirely unfazed. Soon, there would be reinforcements arriving, and there was no place for Zuko, or his companions to run. One of the Watchdogs started walking towards them, slowly and peacefully, as if taking a stroll down the sunny beach.  
  
Zuko momentarily glanced at Takiyo, who wore an expression of unequivocal horror whilst staring at the pointer of the arrow sticking out his clavicle. He was laying on Naoki's lap, and Rei desperately tried to contain the bloody mess that was staining Takiyo's clothing as he gasped for breath.

Something snapped inside Zuko at that moment. Something so loud and powerful, clouding his senses and shattering his coherent thoughts. Something beyond any level of anger, rage, and fury he'd ever felt in his life. 

Before the Watchdog had the chance to walk any further, Zuko drew out his bow and launched at him with a clamorous cry. The archer was dumbfounded and hesitated a moment too long to defend himself against the ball of fury that was running towards him. 

That was a moment he bitterly regretted when Zuko jumped, swung, and slammed the body of his bow across the man's face, nearly giving him a headstart to his next reincarnation. He fell down and Zuko turned to eye the other archer, chest heaving wildly and lips twisted into a glower. 

The archer and Zuko attacked each other simultaneously. Their bodies clashed and they knocked themselves beyond the metallic door and onto the floor inside the watchtower. Zuko was on top, pressing his bow against the man's throat and squeezing every last inch of air out it. He didn't care how awful the man's choking sounded, or what bruised up color his face decided to portray...Zuko kept pressing, gritting his teeth so hard he thought he might break them.

In a very familiar, last attempt to fight Zuko, the archer slapped his almost limb hand against the surface of the table next to him. He gripped something and out of instinct, Zuko backed his head away. A single dao blade swiped between the two of them, in an attempt to slice Zuko. It was a close call, nearly giving him another haircut. 

Zuko rolled to the side, freeing the archer from his strangling and the grip against his throat. They both got to their feet, the nameless archer taking the opportunity to both catch a breath and retrieve the dao's other pair from the table. He twirled the blades in his hand with a reminiscent of a smile, undoubtedly excited to cut the boy who tried to kill him in pieces. 

He swung the murderous swords and in lack of better defense, Zuko lifted his bow in the face of the attack. The blade cut through the wood like butter and separated the bow into two useless pieces which Zuko stared at for a brief second, stunned. 

There was no time to mourn for the bow he had grown so attached to, as the man swung again. Zuko's face lit up when an idea landed on it, and he drew out his uncle's dagger from his boot. The attacker wheezed out a laugh at the fact Zuko had brought a knife to a swordfight, though it was cut short when a high-pitched scream caught his attention.

A squealing Naoki threw herself at the man's back, startling him beyond description. 

"How," she paused and brought an elbow down the middle of his shoulder back,   
"dare you," the man sliced her shin but she didn't even flinch.  
"Hurt," banged his head on the wall,   
"my friend!" 

The man growled in annoyance and intentionally hit his back against the wall, squashing Naoki like a little insect. Zuko, jumped forward with a start, eyes locked on Naoki's unmoving body, yet the feeling of a cool metal pressing against both sides of his neck, stopped him. 

"I don't think so, Scarface," the man mused while a thin drop of blood trickle down the side of his angry face.

Zuko's lips etched in disgust and he was made aware of the uncomfortable wrinkling of his scar again. He was rendered immobile. To even think of moving would be signing his death certificate in calligraphy.

The swordsman started tightening his grip on the blades, slowly lessening Zuko's breathing space. He stopped breathing, in hopes that he would at least win himself an extra quarter of a second of life before the sharpened swords would tear the sensitive skin of his throat and nape.

Zuko closed his eyes, not able to bear the bloodthirsty look of his culprit, and praying that he wouldn't drag the show for longer than needed. He was forced to open them again at the sound of a flying arrow, followed by a splash of liquid across his face. 

He met the sight of an arrow having pegged itself through the man's throat. 

The shot was precise, nothing less than perfect. The arrow entered through the left side of the man's neck, and its point came out from the right, in absolute center. Blood sprinkled across both the blade and Zuko's ashen skin, like the abstract painting of a tortured artist. 

Zuko gagged once he fully processed the man's widened eyes and the red stream of blood that ran out of his hanging mouth. His body went slack and collapsed onto the floor, the sound of his metallic blades dropping on the stone, echoing.

Zuko's trembling head turned towards the door, where Kyra stood, bow held up in front of her as though she was still aiming. Her golden gaze was harsh, almost hateful, and rather than being relieved, Zuko felt a strange kind of fear strike upon him. For the first time since he'd laid eyes on her, Zuko finally understood why Kyra was the prime tile. 

She appeared absolutely terrifying. Every inch of her, from her powerful stance, her low ponytail blowing in the wind along with her robe, to her tight grip on the bow, where her knuckles had turned white. 

And that look she now wore, demanded to be feared by the very spirits.

She stepped into the tower and banged the metal door closed, securing the handle with a piece of Zuko's broken bow, laying on the floor. 

"You're here, I-" Zuko stumbled over his words, not knowing how to react or to what. "How?" 

"Why don't you ask her?" Kyra gestured to someone behind Zuko with a nod. 

He turned to look at Naoki, struggling to get herself off the floor while holding her dislocated shoulder in place with a pout. 

"She's the one who left me a note of your plan and whereabouts in my dorm." 

"How did you know it was me?" Naoki scrunched her nose, as though the statement offended her in some way.

Kyra raised her deadpanned gaze.   
"Who else would draw a smiley face at the bottom of it?" she threw her hands and Naoki gawked at first, but then shrugged in admittance.

"I thought you might change your mind about joining us, and what do you know! I was right!" She exclaimed and put her shoulder in place with an unsettling cracking sound.

"That's a talk for later. We need to leave," Kyra grumbled and her orders were confirmed by a loud banging of the metal door. "Now." 

Zuko, although still quite shellshocked, ducked down and took the fallen swordsman's blades in his hands. He knew better than to steal the belonging of a deceased soldier, but his bow was broken and he needed a weapon. Besides, his honor had been already tainted, what's a little more dust to it, to make it all official.

The blades were evidence of excellent craftsmanship. They were a tad bit heavier and longer than the ones he owned, and a little less taken-care-of. It had been too long since Zuko had held those in his hands, let alone train with them. But it would have to do, for now. 

He stuffed the swords in his quiver and followed Kyra's heel out of the tower and towards Takiyo and Rei. While Zuko and Naoki were occupied with taking out their anger on the Watchdogs, Rei had shortened the arrow that injured Takiyo on both ends but hadn't removed it. It was a good call, leaving it in to control the bleeding, though Takiyo seemed to disagree as he wailed in pain with every breath he took.

"The door isn't going to hold them for long, we need to leave!" Naoki winced as she threw one of Takiyo's arms over her shoulders, forcing him on his feet while he cursed. 

He had picked up the scrolls and was now holding onto the case for dear life. Zuko would have offered to rid him of the tiring weight, had he not been afraid that Takiyo would bite his arm off.

The end of the bridge was near, and further on there was only the endless mass of the dark green forest beckoning to them. The clashing and trembling of the metallic doors kept going, resembling a ticking bomb.  
Meanwhile, Rei tied up an injured, whining Takiyo around the waist and Zuko helped lower the two down the grassy soil on the other side of the wall. Kyra and Naoki slung off the edge next, and Zuko, due to his slower movements and lack of rope expertise, was left last. 

The doors of the tower burst open just as he vaulted over the edge, holding the rope between his sleeve-covered hands. The wind intensified as he was falling down and when his feet dropped to the soft ground, relief washed over Zuko's head. It was a false perception that their fight was over and that it could only get better from then on. 

He glanced behind him and observed his companions, who gathered their equipment in hasty, anxious movements. A sigh left Zuko's lips and just then, his ears were filled with the sound of arrows coursing through the mass of tree leaves, cutting the night wind in half. 

His reflexes kicked in as if woken up by a nightmare, and his knee jerk reaction was to step in front of his team, arms spreading out at their fullest.

A wave of hot, scarlet flames spread right above Zuko's head, ironically resembling a shield. His surrounding lit up, almost as though the sun had just broken through the horizon, signaling the start of a new dawn. Zuko flinched, the feeling of heat so close to his face making him cower away for a second. When he opened his eyes again, his hands were still in the air, martyrs to the fiery destruction that had been created around him.

The lattice of dark leaves above him, through which the moonlight shone bright, was now caught in a lively fire. The massive trunks of the pine trees had been stained black. An overhanging, previously unseen, branch dropped in front of him, twisted up in Zuko's intense fire. The arrows that attempted to pierce his person laid in ashes at his feet. Golden sparks flew around like buzzing mosquitos, a nice touch to the absolute inferno.

"Zuko, let's go!" Rei's voice grabbed and pulled him out of the ocean of thoughts he was drowning in. Zuko's eyes had never seemed more golden. They were nigh glowing like fine jewels, and shock glossed over them enhancing that effect. 

He took a few, stumbling steps backward, and the mossy undergrowth cracked with each one. Zuko followed the rest, and the five of them got lost in the barely visible trails that snaked around the forest, running and not daring to look back at the beacon of rebellion that they had set ablaze. No one followed them. No one sought to take them down. Enough blood had been spilled for one night. 

And so Zuko and his companions ran away, living with the illusion that they were, even for just a few hours, free. Free of the bonds that life at Pohouai had placed around their hands and necks. Free of the challenging responsibility of being a soldier that weighed on them like a yoke. 

Free of the cruel rule of the Fire Nation.

They couldn't have known that an archer broke into Colonel Shinu's office, a few moments later, narrating the events of their escape with a heaving breath. They couldn't have known of the letter Zhao was immediately urged to write, speaking not of Zuko's promotion, nor his success, but his High treason. 

And they couldn't have known that letter would arrive at the hands of the Fire Lord that same night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End of Act 1.   
> That was a handful but I enjoyed every bit! Can't wait to share the adventures I have planned for the (former) Yuyan but I would also love to hear any theories of yours (if you have any) regarding what happens next.  
> A thousand thank you's to everyone who's read and enjoyed the story thus far. Your support means the world to me! :)


	11. A Prejudiced Inn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for the delay. I'm currently on summer break, (safely) travelling around places and I don't have much time to write. I'll try my best to keep updating, especially now that we're going through some of my favourite chapters. Enjoy :)

"This is going to hurt like a bitch" Rei warned and gripped the edge of the arrow firmly.

Once they had escaped the Stronghold the night before, they ran into the thick forest and didn't stop until the first light of dawn hit them through the trees. They had gone through the ruins of Taku when the night was still relatively young and their energy at its fullest. Well, Takiyo's energy couldn't be lower, and in fact, Lieutenant Rei mostly carried him, either offering his shoulder's support or full-on taking Takiyo's limb body on his back. 

It must have been near noon by now, and they unanimously decided to make their first stop to finally take a breather. Zuko didn't need to be told twice. He collapsed on the grass, his legs having lost all feeling, and laid his back on a rough tree trunk. Bugs constantly buzzed around and combined with the natural sound of wind whirling through the leaves, it made Zuko sleepy beyond description. His unhealthy sleeping schedule sure chose the perfect time to fix itself.

A few tree roots to the side, Rei was hovering over Takiyo, ready to pull out the arrow from his chest and wrap up the wound properly. They would have done it sooner if it weren't for the constant fear of Zhao sending a troop to find them and execute them during their break. Takiyo was a mess because of it. The blood had dried on his clothing, the dark discoloration being a huge contrast to his pure white complexion. Evident black circles drew themselves underneath his otherwise lively eyes, and a few determined flies attempted to rest on his head, thinking he was dead.

Takiyo scoffed out a weak laugh.  
"Seriously Rei, having pain-inducing sticks shoved into me is kind of my thing." He coughed at the end of the sentence, which was probably why Rei didn't smack him for that crude joke.

Naoki, who was holding Takiyo from behind, making sure he stayed in place, winced.  
"You might want to bite down on something-" she suggested, but Takiyo cut her off. 

"Just do it, you virgins!" he yelled and on cue, Rei pulled out the shaft with no further warning and an expression that said he didn't quite appreciate the nickname. 

Takiyo made no efforts to hold in his screams. To no one's surprise, the birds chilling on the overhead branches flew off, annoyed by the boy's cries. By the time he was done with his whaling, Zuko's curse-word vocabulary had been enriched by at least ten terms, some of which had to do with Rei's mother. She didn't sound like a kind woman.

By the indifferent look on Rei's face, Zuko drew out three possible conclusions.  
One; Takiyo was talking nonsense and Rei couldn't be bothered to contradict him  
Two; Everything he had said was true, and Rei wholeheartedly agreed.  
Or three; The Lieutenant didn't care much of his mother. 

"Aham, yeah," Rei gave a few quick nods while staring down the literal hole in Takiyo's chest, looking like he was holding back the urge to vomit. "That's nasty."

"I can't feel my arm," Takiyo complained, throwing his head back like a whining, angsty child. "Bastard aimed for the brachial nerve to make sure I won't be able to use that arm for a long ass time."

Zuko was a bit ashamed to admit that he knew next to nothing about human anatomy. He aimed for two things when shooting an arrow. Head and heart. At least the location of those was pretty clear. Whatever nerve Takiyo was muttering about, he had never heard of before and had no idea what kind of damage its malfunction can cause. Though by the looks of it, it can't be anything good.

Kyra took a seat in the grass across from Zuko, feeling like seating closer to Takiyo and his paramedics would be a bother. Zuko only now noticed that she didn't have any sort of baggage, not even a pack. She had come only with her bow, quiver, and rope, which frankly seemed like a stupid decision, but he wasn't about to blame her for that. Arriving unannounced at the best moment possible was more than enough reason for Zuko to shut his mouth about her coming unprepared. 

Which reminds him...

"How come you changed your mind?" Zuko rotated his body to face Kyra. Her head snapped at his direction seeming idly surprised, either because she didn't expect Zuko to acknowledge her presence, or because she didn't know how to answer his question.

She looked back down at the floor.   
"There was talk of Zhao taking the reigns of Pohuai, ever since he showed up. At first, I thought it was bullshit, but then came instances where Shinu got shut down by him and the rumors started gaining ground," she explained, trying to scratch the Yuyan symbol off her quiver, using a small knife.  
"I'd rather be traveling on foot to Ba Sing Se while beaten down by the sun and hunger, rather than take orders from that pig."

"Yes, Zhao is insufferable," Zuko nodded in confirmation, somewhat enjoying his and Kyra's shared hatred for the Admiral.   
"Is that what you were concerned about the day in the um...closet?" he asked quietly, remembering how upset she looked, and regretting never asking her about it.

"That, and the fact that he demoted me." 

Zuko had to physically restrain himself from shouting 'what?!', by bitting down on his tongue. This small gesture didn't go unnoticed by Kyra, who gave him a sideways glance, and then looked down at her knife again. 

"According to him, my handling of the assignment was 'not of Seargent-like proficiency, let alone a Junior Corpse graduate's.'"

Junior Corpse.   
A military program designed for children mostly abandoned ones that came from the colonies. Junior Corpse was known mainly for its rigorous training methods and 'unfortunate accidents' that often occurred at its facilities. The very name struck fear in the hearts of the colonial parents when mentioned by the Fire Nation authorities who used it as a threat. 

Zuko knew all this, for when he was younger, his father too would throw the program's name around, whenever Zuko's behavior was not up to standards. Each time his sharp tongue wanted to make its presence known, the young Prince held back at the thought of being sent to the Junior Corpse. He had once sat down with Azula, sharing their opinions on what the program would be like, and of course, like the children that they were, they came up with ridiculous rules such as; No toys, bland food with no spices, and so on.

Kyra's tough exterior had now somehow become a little less foggy and it made a little more sense. Any child who had to undergo such brutal training would be lucky to turn out the way she did. Alive, that is. The thought that Zhao would dare disrespect that and throw it in her face only to humiliate her was astounding. She had nearly died in service and getting yelled by Zhao is how she's being repaid? 

"He is..." Zuko started, feeling like the long pause in their conversation was beginning to affect the atmosphere unpleasantly. "a piece of garbage." he settled on that title to describe Zhao, which didn't do him justice at all.

"I have good news and bad news," Rei called them over his shoulder, and in response Kyra and Zuko approached him, ending their quick chat. 

Rei poured a tiny stream of water from his flask on his hands, just enough to wash off Takiyo's blood. He covered up the wound with a piece of his own robe's tail, in an oddly proficient manner that impressed Zuko. Yet that didn't seem to better Takiyo's state. If anything, Takiyo looked worse than before; Drained, covered in sweat, and with chapped lips.

"The bad news is that Chopstick has lost a whole bunch of blood and I don't have the appropriate tools to stitch him up here," Rei announced and for the first time, Takiyo didn't complain about his nickname. That was the best indicator that things were plenty serious.

"The good news is that Colonial Village is an hour's walk from here." 

* * *

Rei's estimation was off. He failed to include how bearing Takiyo on his back would affect the team's speed, in his calculations. It certainly took them more than an hour to reach the Fire Nation Colonial Village, and when they did, it was a sight for sore eyes.

They walked through the wooden gates and all five of Zuko's senses were assaulted with what he could only describe as a taste of home. 

Perhaps it was the only taste of home Zuko would get for a while. His subconscious slyly whispered in his ear, telling him that he shouldn't miss the Capital the way he did. But how could he not?

He missed the uniform buildings with the maroon roof tiles and the golden embroilments hanging from the edges like raindrops. He missed the satisfying clicking of his expensive shoes against the coble underfoot. He missed the red and yellow hues of the hanging lanterns, the smell of intense spices, and a maiden's strong perfume. 

Agni, he even missed the peasant streets, through which he and Mai used to run in a fit of childish laughter, away from Zuko's guarding detail, to enjoy some alone time. He missed the cramped wooden stalls of the markets, who's wares were laid out on a vibrant red cloth. He missed the haggling, the bartering, the sound of the creaking wagons speeding through the busy alleys. The fresh odor of ripe fruit, cheap leather and ale, that traveled through the air and made Mai cover her nose with her shirt.

How could he not miss it when it was all laid in front of him like a feast of senses, beating at his very soul?

"Come on," Rei was the first to take a step further into the city, known for its wild festivals and events. "There has to be an inn here somewhere."

There was. They found a local inn a few streets down and they decided to enter the wooden shank with a hint of hesitation. The minute they stepped in, Zuko was forced to adopt a squint, due to the extensive amount of smoke that permeated the area. Laughing, swearing, and talking all mixed with the blaring music provided by the somewhat drunk flutist. 

Rei took a few confident strides towards the liquid-stained counter, with Takiyo lazily dangling to his side and the rest of them following suit. A middle-aged man, dressed in green attire, stood at the bar, whipping clean a wine glass with a piece of cloth. Zuko slithered his way around the tables, trying to avoid any contact with the customers. The number of empty glasses in front of them suggested career drinkers. 

"Hello," Rei cast his characteristic smile, though it didn't seem to warm the heart of the innkeeper. "We would like a room for the night." 

The man eyed their company like a predator, and especially their company's noticeable weaponry and black clothes. He didn't seem too happy about their choice of appearance, though Zuko couldn't tell why. There were plenty of sketchy individuals sitting around his bar. 

"It will be six silver pieces."

Kyra scoffed from beside Zuko, making it known to him that six silver pieces were a lot. Zuko never had to spend money of his own, and he doubted whether he could tell if he ever was a victim of fraud. Silver pieces to him were...nothing.

Rei's smile faltered a little bit, as he dug into the pockets of his robes and took out the desirable amount, setting it on top of the cheery-wood furniture.

"Your friend seems unwell, I'm assuming he needs a bath?" the innkeeper commented with a deadpanned tone, looking over to Takiyo. The red stains on his tunic and the fact that he couldn't stand on his own were enough of a clue. 

"That would be great, thank you!" Naoki nodded with a tugging smile, though her eyes seemed glossed with worry as she looked at their money that still rested on the table.

"That will be another three pieces." 

Rei's smile completely fell and so did Naoki's. The Lieutenant dug into his pockets again, this time much more aggressively, and fished out another three silver coins, which he then dumped on top of the rest. 

"Would you also like a lap dance or...?" Takiyo couldn't help the sarcastic comment, seeing that the man kept staring at the coins and not taking them. 

"Now that I think of it..." he started, running a hand along his short, uncared for, beard. "There are only quadruples left upstairs, so one of you will be left bedless unless you want to pay another six pieces-"

Zuko was about to step up and give the innkeeper a piece of his mind, but Kyra got to him first. With one quick shove, she made her way in front of the counter, and before anyone could object, she reached a hand behind the bar, caught the man by his obnoxious green collar, deadlifted him, and slammed him on top of the counter. 

He looked more offended, rather than mortified that he was single-handedly pinned down by a girl with muscles the size of his double chin. 

"Listen here you low-life piece of shit," Kyra seethed, hovering over his face and holding back every urge to spit on it. "my comrade has had an arrow pierce through his chest, and he needs medical attention. Now, take your six pieces and give us the key to a room, or my hand will start squeezing your throat."

The rest of the team gave each other sideway looks, silently asking whether they should stop Kyra, yet none of them moved. The bar customers seemed to be occupied with anything else and didn't pay a single glace at the show. 

The innkeepers face twisted in disgust and he tossed in an attempt to fight Kyra's grip, in vain.  
"I won't be threatened by the likes of you, girly," he spat, which only made Kyra's nostrils flare and her eyebrows knit in fury. "Fire soldier scums, who itch until a big dog scratches, don't get served in this place." 

Zuko was just about tired of this attitude. They didn't itch any big dog. They came with money just like any other customer and deserved to be treated as such. But they just so happened to stumble upon the single pub, in the middle of a Fire Nation dominated colony, that had a prejudice against Fire Nation soldiers. Talk about luck, huh?

"Not just any Fire soldiers," Zuko called and folded up his sleeve, revealing his Yuyan tattoo. 

Pure terror flashed before the man's eyes at the sight of the red triangle, and his tossing intensified, making Kyra put actual effort on holding him down on the counter.

"You-you're not soldiers," he stammered, squirming like a fish out of water. " Yuyan bastards..you're assassins, cold-blooded killers...you're animals!"

"That's fucking right," Kyra held a grip to his jaw, forcing him to stare into her eyes. His movements halted. He froze at the face of her golden stare, and Zuko could see the very moment the warmth of his blood was stolen away. 

"We're the big dogs, the ones that scratch and bark when their inferiors annoy them. So you can either serve this dog a key and some bandages, or you can become its teeth sharpener. And trust me..." her fingers pressed at the sides of his face, nails digging in the wrinkling skin.

"I'll do the Yuyan name justice, alright."

The man didn't move. He only stared as though he had turned in stone, and his mind had stopped functioning. Kyra snapped out of whatever trance she seemed to be drowning in. She blinked and her hand relaxed, finally letting go of her grip on the innkeeper. 

He scurried off the counter and onto the floor, ass first. His trembling hands fumbling amongst the drawers behind the bar. He threw a rope-tied silver key at them as if he was throwing a piece of meat at a pack of starving pygmy pumas. 

"There's a first aid kit under the bed." he blurted, taking backward steps away from the counter. 

Naoki caught the key in her grasp and shot him a charming smile, trying to ease him up, though it only seemed to make the situation worse, having Kyra still standing right behind her. They hurried out of his sight but not before Zuko slapped a hand on the table, dragging back Rei's extra three coins.

"That was unnecessary," Rei commented while the five of them helped Takiyo up the stairs to the rooms. He didn't put much effort into his reprimanding tone, which gave away the fact that he didn't completely disapprove of Kyra's behavior.

"I disagree," Kyra replied coldly, and without looking. 

Zuko found Kyra's handling of the situation partly concerning. If they wanted to sneak into the Earth Kingdom, threatening whoever threw the tiniest of insults at them wasn't going to cut it. Judging someone for their sensitive temper was very rich of him, and he wasn't about to preach Kyra the very lesson he's still trying to learn. If Kyra hadn't intervened, he would have and he wasn't sure if the outcome would've been any better.

"Your highness?"

Zuko froze at his tracks in the middle of the hallway, immediately recognizing the voice of the caller. He slowly turned around, as did the rest of the group, and locked eyes with the girl poking her head out of a door.

"Lilith?" he questioned briefly before she ran up to him, crushing him into a one-way embrace Zuko was too stunned to return.

"I saw you walking down the hall and thought I was mistaken! I almost didn't recognize you with the ssss-stylish robes you're uh- wearing." she broke off the hug but her hands still gripped his arms as she took in the sight of him.

Zuko looked down on his black, torn, dusty attire with a dull expression. He frowned upon realizing what she was planning on saying, but quickly recovered.

"What are you doing here?" 

" _Me_? What are _you_ doing here?" 

"Ehem!" A cough reminded Zuko of the four-member audience his reunion had. Takiyo's eyebrow raised in question. "Are you not going to introduce us to your friend, your highness?" 

Lilith let go completely and shot out her hand for the Yuyan to shake. The coins embroidered on her silky clothes ringed in the process.  
"How impolite of me. I'm Lilith, nice to meet you all." 

Agni, that girl could even make the extension of her hand seem suggestive.

Takiyo took the chance to fondle Lilith's hand and place a kiss of courtesy on it.   
"Pleasure is all mine." he coyed and Lilith turned to Zuko with surprise in her eyes, as if she didn't expect the Prince to have well-mannered acquaintances.

"That's all well," Zuko interrupted the scene and directed Lilith's attention back to him. "But what on earth are you doing in a Colony dump like this?" 

"Oh, I was let off, just like the better part of the Palace staff but hey, there's always business for someone like me." Her tone fell a little as she said that, but it was covered well.

"Palace I hear. Were you a servant, my dear?" Takiyo cut his way through the conversation again and Zuko slapped an open palm on his forehead. 

Yes, of course, because kitchen maids always run around dressed in silks and false gold. Was the loss of blood so great that Takiyo stopped using his brain?

Much to Zuko's horror, Lilith took up the task of answering.  
"A concubine. Fire Nation finest, to be precise." She struck a pose with a hand on her hip, showcasing herself like a window mannequin. 

Rei and Naoki sort of gawked at the statement and Kyra's eyes widened momentarily, while Takiyo didn't seem at all surprised. If anything, he looked intrigued.

"Let off? They couldn't possibly fire the majority of the serves." Zuko refocused the conversation. "What are you talking about?" 

"All I know is that there were major cut downs right after Lady Mai left-"

Mai left. The words hit Zuko on the head like a swinging pan. Never in a million years did he think he would hear of the day Mai abandoned Azula. After Ty Lee joined the circus, Mai and Azula stuck together as if with glue. It annoyed Zuko greatly but he wouldn't ask of his sister to let go of the only friend she was left. Many of their fights sparked out of Zuko's particular annoyance. He now regretted having put Mai in a position to chose between him and Azula.

So what in the name of the spirits happened?

"Left _where_?" Zuko urged.

"There was word she quarreled with the Princess and then she just...disappeared." 

Zuko's face fell at the flitting, yet horrifying image of a fight between Mai and Azula. The universe must be taking a piss on him. 

"Who's M-Mai-" Takiyo's question was cut short when his knees buckled and his weight fell entirely on Rei, who gripped him tighter.

In hurried movements, Naoki unlocked and pushed one of the many doors open revealing their room. It was even smaller than Zuko's and Rei's dorm back at the stronghold if that were even possible. There was only a porcelain bathtub, who's cleanness was questionable, and a bunch of creaking planks rolled up and held together by cheap metal, posing as a bed. Unfortunately, the walls weren't thick enough to eliminate the sound of Lilith's colleagues working from the nearby rooms, which was the least of Zuko's worries. 

Naoki freed Rei of Takiyo's weight and helped him hobble inside the room with a hand spread across the small of his back.   
"I'll run him a bath and stitch him up," she assured and had Takiyo sit on the edge of the bed, though he immediately fell back, unable to support himself.   
"you guys go downstairs and find us something to eat. Something cheap, preferably."

"I can help if you'd like," Lilith peeped from behind them, slightly confused about what was going on. "You can repay me by telling me all about why you're not in Pohuai shooting arrows, huh Zuko?" 

Takiyo's head shot up with newfound energy.  
"Yes please!"

Rei's gaze lingered upon Takiyo's corpse-resembling figure for a moment too long, not exactly questioning Naoki's abilities to heal him, nor Lilith's ability to perk up his spirits, but Chopstick's will to let them do so. 

"It's fine pops," Takiyo's hand shot up from the reclining position, shooing Rei away. "we've got it from here. Go find me something nice to chew on. I'm starving."

Rei, although not entirely convinced, walked out with a pinch of his classic cursing. Him, Zuko, and Kyra made their way back to the reception hall, but not before Zuko mouthed a 'thank you' to Lilith, to which she smiled in response. The trio maneuvered past all the stenching drunkards and the ladies with the messed up hair and odious giggling and as they did so, Zuko's mind was plagued with thoughts of Mai.

Agni knew what happened when Mai and Azula fought, but Zuko was certain it was an event even the spirits would dread. Mai disappearing indicated that Azula won, and Zuko was scared to let his mind drift through the possibilities of what that would mean.

Zuko never had the chance to interact with so many commoners for such a long time. More often than not, when he was young and he would sneak away from his guards into the Capital, they would find him only minutes after, and so he never quite had time for exploration. That may have been a good thing, considering he could have run into thieves, smugglers, kidnappers, or pressing merchants looking to sell him a bunch of ill-crafted toys.

Well, now there was no buff guard with heavy armor to pull him away from stranger's touch, and as he realized this he grew anxious, his movements became choppy and his breath hitched every time a singing drunk person would get a tad bit too close. After tonight, he prayed that he wouldn't have to stay at an inn ever again.

Kyra dragged a nearby, empty chair against the already scratched floor, and brought it to their table of choice. She sat oppositely, her front facing the back of the chair, whilst Rei and Zuko were discussing the menu, and how a plate of deep-fried pickled radishes was the least likely dish to disrupt their stomach. Zuko wouldn't be surprised if the innkeeper attempted to poison their food, after that little shown earlier.

"So," Rei started, hardly suppressing his smile. "How do you know Lilith?"

"Didn't she just say she was working at the Palace? Have you cleaned your ears lately?" Zuko bit back, not wishing to start that conversation.

"You mean to tell us you know every servant that has ever worked under your roof?" Kyra mused with the tiniest of smirks playing on the right corner of her lips.

Zuko groaned and stuffed his face in his hands, partly out of frustration, and partly to hide the flush his cheeks would probably pick up.

"It's a custom for the Crowned Prince to lose his virtue once he reaches the age of twelve by a person of his family's choosing. Lilith was that person, and before you peasants start whistling, may I inform you that three Fire Sages were watching the process. The whole point is to make sure I was experienced enough to bare heirs when the time comes. It was awkward and stressful, and everything of the sorts. Happy now?" 

Kyra and Rei momentarily glanced at each other, then Rei broke into nearly hysterical laughter. He wheezed so hard he shoved his head between his folded arms that rested on the table to contain the noise. Kyra merely cast a tight-lipped smile at her lap, accompanied by a barely noticeable snort. 

A moving shadow fell over their table, making Zuko drop his rough scowl and adopt an expression of confusion. He raised his head to figure out what was blocking the light source, and his eyes met with a strongly-built man, towering over their table. Rei's laughter immediately died down and Kyra visibly tensed in her seat. 

"Excuse me," he said, voice deeper than a ravine, yet holding a gentle edge. "you wouldn't happen to know this man, would you?"

He stuck his hand out and a piece of scroll unfolded in front of Zuko's face. An older sketch of himself, crafted by the royal painter, took up most of the page. His eyes schemed over the printed copy, taking in the detailed gold decorating his hair, his neck, and even his fingers. He remembered that day, and how surprised he was to see him portrayed as an imposing prince, with a hard frown etching his thin lips. The first thought that came to mind was how his mother would hate this portrait, and that was exactly what he was going for.

Zuko's eyes fell directly at the inscription below the picture.

_The Fire Lord orders the arrest of Zuko, the rebellious traitor._   
_Zuko was once the Crown Fire Prince._   
_He and four other traitorous soldiers of the Yuyan have violated imperial orders, slaughtered two of their fellow Yuyan, and have declared themselves deserters._   
_Permission is granted to kill the Prince on sight._

That was quick. He didn't expect to see his face plastered on a Wanted poster so soon after their escape. It hurt, just a tiny bit, to know that they couldn't wait a full day till they hung a big fat bounty over his head. Yet, if anything, it made the fire in him light even brighter than before.

"Nope, sorry," Zuko winced with the fakest of smiles, "don't know who the handsome fellow is. Although my sight is not at its best these days." 

He turned to face the table again, his awkward little laugh dying down when a hollow chuckle rumbled from the bottom of the man's throat. It didn't feel like the man was laughing at Zuko's attempt of a self-deprecating joke. Zuko's hands twitched.

"Look, kid," the man started, setting his open, beefy palm on the table's surface. "We can do this the easy way, where you peacefully come with me, or the hard way, where I drag you out of here by your teeth."

Rei's chair ground against the floor as he shot to his feet and slithered himself between Zuko and the huge man. 

"Fan one more breath against his face, and I'll rip your limbs like crab legs, and then use them to beat you into unconsciousness." he gruffed, his neck bent in a painful angle so that he could look the man in the eyes.

The man smiled in return, flashing his unhygienic, yellow teeth.   
"I was planning on just taking the princeling who has the larger bounty and leave y'all deserters alone. Ya know...some respect for the Yuyan chums. But you, you big-mouthed dwarf, are asking for it."

Rei's eyes flickered to Kyra's and then down at the half-empty glass of beer that only partly laid on the edge of the table. Swiftly, and without further instructions, Kyra pushed the exposed bottom of the glass upwards with her fingers. The glass shot in the air, tilting in a way that the golden liquid threatened to be spilled. Kyra spun and kicked the glass mid-air, her foot only tapping its surface with enough force to send it flying and smashing on the man's head.

The shards of glass rained on the hunter's shoulders as his knees crumbled and he fell on the floor with an alarming thud. The music, the laughter, and the drunken banter all halted at once. Every customer and employee ceased moving and merely turned to stare Kyra, Rei, and Zuko with widened eyes and hanging jaws. Zuko was suddenly made aware of every pore on his face, every oily strand of hair and every loose thread on his tunic.

"I meant for you to spill the beer in his eyes," Rei sighed at Kyra and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

"I did."

As expected, a fight broke out. For some reason Zuko's sober mind couldn't comprehend, the regulars all turned against each other, and with vicious ferocity started attacking whoever was within arm's reach.

Men and women all launched at each other, creating an even worse fuss than before. Zuko's neck hair raised as he felt an attack coming from behind. He whipped his body around to see a growling drunk man, running towards him with a bottle clutched in his fist. Zuko ducked to avoid the obvious head-blow and simply took the bottle out of the man's hand, letting him run forward onto the table.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kyra mingle herself into the havoc, avoiding flying objects, and trying to get to the bar, perhaps to gain higher ground. Whilst Zuko was distracted, a heavy hand came out of the crowd and punched Zuko across the face. He didn't look to find his assailant, but rather clutched his already sensitive nose with his hand, when he felt the metallic taste of blood, staining his lips. 

"We've got to get out of here!" Rei yelled, loud enough for Zuko to hear him over the deafening yells and curses. The Lieutenant smashed one of the wooden stools against the table, using the broken leg to hit another man in his...ehem..crown jewels.

"Agreed!" Zuko called back, and jumped out of the way before two ladies crashed against the counter, fisting each other's tangled locks and screaming something about 'he was just a fucking client!' and 'you knew he was my boyfriend!'. 

"Kyra, w-what on Earth are you doing?" Rei yelled when he saw the girl crouched under the bar in a mission to search the cabinets, as though chaos wasn't unfolding right in front of them.

She laid as many supplies as she could on top of her lap and rolled her undertunic over them, creating a makeshift bag of some sort. A furious voice stopped her from getting up on her feet. 

"Hey! Get away from my bar!" The innkeeper from before growled, clumsily running towards and dipping over the counter to grab Kyra by the hair. 

He grasped her low ponytail and pulled, causing Kyra to drop half the supplies and fall backward with an annoyed grunt. In manic movements, she pulled out a drawer unhinged and took ahold of the first knife her eyes fell onto. She reached back without being able to look and pegged the knife on the back of the man's hand. The knife went deep, probably piercing through the counter itself, and naturally, the man let out an agonizing scream of pain. The intended effect was achieved when his fingers stretched and let go of Kyra's hair. 

Zuko could only look with widened eyes as Kyra run right past him on the stairs, clinging on as many bags of pre-fried dough as she could. He shook his head and sheathed Iroh's knife he had pulled out to help her, ready to follow her and Rei straight up the creaking steps. 

They burst through the door and caught Naoki mid-way onto stitching Takiyo's wound. The rattling of the door startled her and she accidentally tugged at the sewing string a bit too abruptly, having Takiyo let out a high-pitched, sudden cry. Lilith sat beside them, holding a pot filled with rose stained water.

"I heard commotion downstairs but assumed someone was way into the music. What happened?" she asked worriedly, ignoring every bit of Takiyo's cursing and drawing a final stitch.

"A bounty has already been set for our heads," Rei breathed and handed Zuko's wanted poster over to Takiyo who proceeded to let out a low whistle at the sight of it it.

"Damn, you look like you want to gut me and piss on my insides," he said with a disgusted expression, then looked up at Zuko with a crooked grin. "I'm kind of digging it." 

"Aw, look at this angry little princeling," Lilith cooed, looking over the drawing.

Zuko halted the rampaging of his pack and stomped over to the edge of the bed where the two sat, only to snatch the paper away from Takiyo and turn it to ash with a snap of his fingers. Lilith frowned. 

Takiyo had changed into a clean shirt and was now using his dirty, bloody one to tie up his arm into a more comfortable position. Zuko wondered how can someone be this good at tying knots, using only one good hand and his teeth, but he thought it best not to ask. 

"Don't tease me," he grumbled. "It's probably the most recent reference they had of my face, okay?" 

"Oh, I wasn't teasing. I would have definitely been a more loyal servant to the Crown, had I known you walked around looking this fine. And that you had game since the age of twelve." 

"You told them?" Zuko snapped and only earned a shrug back from Lilith. 

"What was I supposed to do? Lie to a bleeding boy?" 

"A man! A bleeding man, thank you very much." 

Zuko gritted his teeth, reminding himself that Takiyo had already suffered an arrow to the chest and didn't need a black eye to accessorize it, and that Lilith was...Lilith.

"Oi, Chopstick," Rei snapped at them over his shoulder, and Takiyo merely rolled his eyes in response. "Quit drooling over Zuko's imperialistic ass and get ready to leave."

Kyra had managed to crack open the busted shutters of the windows, and she was the first to throw her pack out and leap along right after it. The window laid on a fair height from the ground, though it was nothing a trained Yuyan couldn't survive. 

"Good luck, wherever Agni takes you," Lilith smiled sweetly at them, and Zuko made his best effort to return the grin. 

"Take care," he retaliated with an awkward clearing of his throat.

An embrace felt appropriate at the moment, a 'thank you' perhaps, for covering the tracks of fugitives. Zuko, though, did nothing of the sort. He already knew Lilith's silence was ensured, so he merely nodded and turned to the window. 

Zuko swung the case of valuable scrolls over his shoulder, and with a firm palm rested on the ledge, he vaulted out of the window next. His feet landed roughly on the ground, whilst Naoki jumped out next and Rei helped along Takiyo to do the same, during which he complained excessively. 

"Looks like we need to be laying low for a while." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On a side note, I've been binge watching Attack on Titan and I've reached a point where someone should physically restrain me from writing a fic. I just know I'll end up getting too attached to a certain sleep-deprived, cleaning freak, and I just...*sobs*


	12. The Calm Before The Storm

Zuko is in deep shit.

For the past week, he and the others have been wandering around the wastelands of the Earth Kingdom with a fat bounty dangling over their heads, in the process. They had been trying to avoid most of the big towns, in fear of their faces being matched to the ones on the wanted posters. Small villages, sitting on the outskirts of the providence, were the only sign of civilization they would allow themselves. And that, they entered with their hoods up and gazes low.

But that wasn't Zuko's problem. He could deal with the occasional hunger and the long hours of walking under the sun. He flourished under the sun, unlike the rest of the company, who were used to the chilly basements of Pohuai and the biting winters of the Colonies. Zuko had even grown used to sleeping on the rough, tree root-infested ground of the forest. At least the excellent view of the night sky made the discomfort bearable and...to be true he wasn't spending that much time sleeping.

It was what had started happening during those hours where they all laid under the stars, that was an arousing concern.

He started bonding with the team.

There they laid, under the small campfire, curled up in their sleeping bags, and instead of trying to shut their damn eyes and get a few hours of rest, they cracked jokes, shared stories and long-forgotten memories, or even commenced philosophical conversations about each one's place in the universe, only for someone to throw a pack at them, telling them to put a sock in it. 

And Zuko Agni-damned _liked_ it.  
  
He listened intently and gathered the information each one willingly shared during those sleepless nights because he was simply interested in their lives. Like, three days ago, he'd learned that Rei grew up with four sisters, two older, two younger, all of which were non-benders like him. It sure did explain how he could cook so well, even if the only tools he had was a stick and a campfire. He'd tried to teach Zuko but later realized the prince only had the pallet of a cook, a parting gift from his royal upbringing, and is not to be trusted near a freshly-caught, loop-eared rabbit ever again.

He had learned about how Takiyo's first kiss was a Private named Hideki, back in Pohuai, whom he ended up destroying in a weekly one on one, only days after. Naturally, they didn't speak again, and Naoki seems to think that's the root of Takiyo's flippancy regarding all of his short-lived flings. Takiyo's response to that was a gesture, heavily relying on his middle finger.

Naoki was the most dominant voice out of the five, and she would milk every second of their long conversations. Most of the time she spent commenting on the other's stories, being oddly specific, and incredibly apt about what each of them was feeling. She made Zuko feel completely transparent, even when she wasn't fleshing out his own words. Reading people this way could be considered a talent, if not a rather unsettling one.

At some point, the bonding hours expanded through day time, unbeknownst to Zuko. He found himself offering to clean up Takiyo's wound, helping him change bandages. Of course, Chopstick being who he is, would make inappropriate jokes about how Zuko's touch was "working wonders" and surprisingly, Zuko would laugh and sometimes even reply, equally crudely with "so, I've been told."

He would gladly listen to Naoki's babbling on their way to a random village's market. Zuko paid attention to everything, from her compliments on how much better his hair looks short, to her essays of whatever beautiful butterfly she'd spotted that morning, flopping her wings near their camp.

After two-days worth of pestering, Zuko even allowed Rei to give him some more training sessions for old time's sake. Rei wasn't better than Zuko at welding the dao blades, though what he was exceptional at was dodging them when Zuko used him as a training dummy. There was a running joke between them about how they should try doing the same with firebending so that they could have matching scars and that would make Kyra raise her focused gaze from the stringing of her bow.

Ah, yes. _Kyra._

Kyra wasn't much of a talker. Not that Zuko hadn't realized, but it was the extent of this truth, he had only recently figured out. Amid the starry night philosophies, she would mainly listen, if she wasn't already (pretending to be) asleep. Only after Naoki literally elbowed her at the ribs from inside her sleeping bag, did Kyra participate in the sharing. And that she did grumpily.

She shifted uncomfortably in her bag and after a minute of silence, she let out a barely audible and quick:  
"I know how to braid baskets from sugar canes."

It's a strangely specific talent, but despite everyone's newfound fascination with it, and Takiyo's request to make him one, Kyra didn't elaborate on her statement at all, which left everything to the imagination.

Kyra was Zuko's biggest problem. And he hadn't realized that until last night. 

It happened to be the only quiet night of the past week. Everyone had fallen on the blankets like corpses, tired from the day's extensive walking. Well, everyone except for Zuko who was kept up by the sound of someone's clattering teeth. 

He endured the nerve-wracking sound for about half an hour and then he sat up, confusion etched on his face and noticed Kyra curled up in a trembling, shivering ball. Of course she would be cold. She hadn't brought a pack with warmer clothes, or even her cloak with her when she left the Stronghold, and the breeze had picked up over the past hour. She was the most lightly dressed of the bunch, and aside from Takiyo, the skinniest. 

Zuko's hands twitched at his sides, not quite decisive about what he wanted to do. With a quiet grumble, he got up and went to sit next to Kyra's sleeping body, crossed-legged. His inner fire kept his body at a good enough temperature, and the Earth Kingdom nightly breeze couldn't hinder him. Maybe if he sat close to Kyra for a few minutes, his body heat would radiate to her and she would stop shivering like a fish out of water. 

It was certainly strange seeing her lay down with her knees drawn to her chest like a fetus, as though she was bracing herself to take a heavy blow. Almost as if she was scared, which somehow was a ridiculous concept. As far as Zuko knew, Kyra wasn't scared of anything. The one time he had seen her expression shifting to the closest thing she knew to fear, one of them was falling off a building. 

He caught himself dawdling at her facial features, but was too struck to do anything to stop it. Even asleep, Kyra looked rough around the edges. Her dark eyebrows were knitted, her nose slightly scrunched, as though a foul smell had invaded it, and her cupid's bow dove low, forming a slight frown.

The more time Zuko spent sitting on her side, the more Kyra's breathing grew even, her clattering teeth quieted, and her scowling face was smoothed over. Only then, when the soft wind blew her matted strands of hair away from her cheeks, and she let out a tiny breath of satisfaction, did she truly seem asleep. 

And yet, even though Kyra was no longer cold, and her sound of discomforts would no longer disrupt him, Zuko stayed seated and kept looking at her. He didn't know why, but he just couldn't stop, as if an invisible force was holding his gaze immobile. She looked so calm, so peaceful, and not in the way her face usually rests. Kyra's sense of calm is usually associated with a fear-striking serenity, in Zuko's head. What someone would describe as the calm before the storm. The storm being discovering Kyra's mortifying set of skills. 

Not now though. Zuko could now see Kyra for what she truly was. A seventeen-year-old girl, who's been dealt a terrible hand in this cruel game called life. He seemed to forget that that's what she was. What they all were. Children, that is, roaming in a war-torn world, wishing to fix it.

Zuko never quite thought of himself as a child. Even in days long forgotten, when his forehead could barely peek atop a table's surface, he only ever thought of himself as a Prince. The crown Fire Prince, patiently waiting in line for the throne. Did everyone around him consider him as such? And if so, did he ever have a childhood, to begin with? Did any of them have?

His mind slipped and imagined Kyra as a younger child, her life at junior Corpse. How tiny she must have been then, without all the muscle and random scars he'd noticed laying about the skin that picked through her long sleeves and high collar. How she would be running around not yet knowing how to properly hold a bow. He almost snickered at the thought.

Were her features always displaying this kind of terrifying calmness? What would it look like on a face younger, more round, and with puffier cheeks? Was her hair always this secretively long, and did she let it carelessly float around the whirling wind, or did she always braid it out of her forehead? Was she the toughest kid on camp, or was she suffering at the hands of them?

In another lifetime perhaps he would know the answers to these pointless questions. Perhaps his father's threats wouldn't be as empty, and Zuko would have actually been sent to Junior Corpse. Perhaps he would have met Kyra, and they would have become friends. No, she would most likely still be the tough soldier she is today, and Zuko would still be the stubborn new kid that would pick a fight with her on his first day. She would still sell him a broken nose and he would still jump over the edge of a building to catch her. That much he could predict. 

What in the fuck was he thinking? Why was he even thinking it?

Oh...  
 _Oh._

Zuko's heart strutted at the mere thought. He froze in place and may have accidentally cursed under his breath. His hands immediately flew in his hair, which had fortunately grown enough for him to pull even just a little. 

Only he could pick such a terrible time to start caring for people. A firey war was upon them, its shadow grew each and every day, looming over their heads. Zuko had sworn to end it at all costs. Silently, on a cold and lonely night where he stared at the piece of a scroll with Iroh's address on it, but still...an oath was an oath. No matter the sacrifice, he would get to Ba Sing Se, he would prevent his father's sick ideals from plaguing the world. 

Caring about someone while in the process was a burden he couldn't afford to carry. Let alone caring for four individuals whom he leads deeper and deeper into inevitable destruction.

He tried. He tried so hard to rid himself of the idea. Yet every time he shared his water satchel with Rei, every time he half-smiled at Naoki, every time he helped carry Takiyo's packs, he only sunk further into a pit of caring. Every time he so much as looked at Kyra, the way the sunlight filtered through the canopy of leaves above them and formed a halo around her... he let himself drown in that pit.

_Zuko is in deep shit._

And just when he thought it couldn't get deeper, this morning dawned upon them.

They always tried to set their camp near the river, for one because it served as a guide, to make sure they were going in the right direction, but also because of clean water's obvious usefulness. Zuko was used to practicing his swords by the river when he wasn't doing so with Rei. The clear water acted as a sort of mirror and Zuko acted as a teacher, correcting himself according to his reflection.

He was just emerging from the rich vegetation when he heard a trail of cursing overpowering the sound of running water. In the midst of the bowing willows and the twisting current, stood Kyra, knee-deep into the river, with a pointy branch clutched in her grasp.

"Why won't you just- _ugh!_ " she grumbled in frustration whilst stabbing the stream with the stick in her hand. Repeatedly. 

Zuko couldn't help but let out a high-pitched laugh which made his presence known. A hand slapped over his mouth to contain the unfamiliar sound, however, Kyra had already seen him. If Zuko didn't know any better, he would have thought that she was slightly embarrassed to have been caught exercising her terrible fishing skills. 

"What?" she snapped, her aggravation only making Zuko wanting to laugh harder. Seeing her this irritated and worked-up was somehow hilarious instead of frightening. Kyra failing and being mad about it was a rare sight.

"Nothing, I'm just wondering how the best archer in Yuyan struggles to peg a fish with a stick." 

Kyra's eye twitched as a response to the mockery.  
"It's harder than it looks, okay? And more slippery. I don't want to use my arrows 'cause they will get carried away by the flow, along with the dead fish."

Zuko's right lip corner cracked into a crooked smile.  
"Well, you can always keep poking your branch into the water, see what comes up." 

For a moment, Kyra chose to ignore Zuko. She turned back to scheming over the water, stick ready in her hand, and tried to penetrate another fish, to no avail. This sent her over the edge, kicking the running water like a literal child. Her clothes were completely drenched and no doubt made it harder for her to throw a proper tantrum. So, her fingers slipped under the edge of her tunic and peeled it off her body, leaving her only in her chest binder. 

Zuko felt the impulsive need to avert his eyes from her exposed body, but something caught his gaze. Across Kyra's back, there was an ink design of two koi fish, one black and one white, swimming in a perfect circle. It took him a second to recognize the spirits of the moon and the ocean. _Tui and La._

Kyra let out a sigh, as though the removal of her wet shirt relived her piling anger.  
"You think you could do better?" she pointed the stick at Zuko's figure and only then did he realize he had been rudely staring at her.

"Of course."

"Prove it."

Zuko scoffed, yet the sound didn't come out as a sign of confidence but rather as an indication of suffocation. The dense tension was indeed suffocating, though only he seemed to feel it. He untied his combat boots and cuffed his pants to at least avoid some of the wetness. The skin of his legs immediately tingled when he stepped into the icy water, like painless needles feathering at his feet. 

He stepped over to where Kyra was standing, and she handed over the stake the way a warrior would hand a weapon. Zuko's mind went into a state of focus while his eyes scanned the surface of the water, looking to spot the glimmering scales of the fish. It was hard at first, not knowing how to tell the refraction of the sun against the crystal waters, and the growing blurring effect of his injured eye, apart. 

He made the first attempt to catch a fish. Then a second. Then he thought the third time is a charm, but was clearly wrong. He always came so close but the slippery minxes always got away at the very last second. 

"No worries," Kyra beckoned to his hunched form. "you can just keep poking the branch in the water, see what comes up."

Zuko fumed. Now it was personal. Takiyo and Rei's hunting skills can screw themselves. Tonight they would be eating fish, and by Koh, he would be the one to catch it.

"You know what?" he snapped, tossing the stick in the river. 

He disposed of his forearm grips and rubbed his hands together as if that would accumulate heat any faster. With a swift punch, he blasted fire on the surface of the water, which caused Kyra's eyes to widen suddenly. When the steam cleared, three cooked fish emerged, and Zuko caught each by the tail with a satisfactory smile.

"That's cheating!" Kyra yelped and hobbled her way to him over the smooth stones. 

"If I've learned anything from Rei, it's to work smart, not hard." he mused, wiggling the three fishes in front of Kyra's deep scowl.

They came face to face, and Zuko's smile dropped unconsciously. He ogled at Kyra who stood only mere inches away, his mind reeling with possible scenarios of what she might do next. Her expression was steely hard, in a way that promised she wasn't truly mad or irritated. Rays of sun hit her back and made her baby hair that resembled a nest, light up. The glossy eddies, through which the colorful, fallen leaves swam, were reflected in her clear golden eyes. 

Zuko's heart might as well have stopped beating completely. His jaw hung open, and an awkward coax escaped his throat.

"What does your tattoo mean?" he blurted, desperate to rid himself of the pressing atmosphere. 

Kyra looked at him, then down at the streaming water, then gave no answer to the question. She hooked her ankle around his and pulled. Zuko fell into the freezing river, accompanied by the echo of his unmanly squeal. He dipped out of the water with a gasp and near clattering teeth, the ends of his raven hair dripping droplets in his face. His three prey escaped their hold and now swam away, carried by the current. 

Kyra laughed. She laughed so hard and full-heartedly that Zuko almost forgot why his face was twisted into a furious scowl. He'd never heard Kyra laugh. Agni, he had barely seen her smile. 

There was this one time, a few days ago when she was kneeling in front of Takiyo, helping him with the crafting of a hunting trap. He had heard her chuckle then. Zuko was beyond hearing range to make out the full conversation but he could see Takiyo's signature toothy grin, and that was enough to know he'd made another perverted joke. Kyra's giggle was short and barely noticeable, though it caused a strange pang at the bottom of Zuko's chest. 

Now he realized it may have been jealousy. He was jealous of Takiyo, for having been gifted with her laugh, even as small. And now _he_ was the one being gifted, with a crackling indication of joy, and a smile that tugged at the edges of her lips, making her cheeks hurt. Such a beautiful sound, he thought. What a shame he didn't get to hear it more often.

Zuko jumped to his feet and tackled Kyra into the river whilst she was distracted, not caring one bit about his wet clothes now. They tossed and kicked water at each other way for what seemed like a blissful eternity, and their laughter was carried around along with the ripples of her water, and the foam their fighting bodies created. 

What on earth was he doing? 

Since when something as foolish as thrashing himself in an ice-cold river, brought Zuko such pure joy? Since when did he stop caring about his borderline annoying laugh being witnessed by another person? Since when did his skin tingle when someone grasped his wrist, and not crawl in fear?

In loud laughing, frothing, and clashing, an all too familiar sound reached Zuko's ears, coming from their camp. It was the sound of a fire blast. Kyra head it too and immediately stopped laughing. Both of their smiles abandoned their faces and they regarded at each other with parted lips in plain terror.

Without any words exchanged, they gathered their clothes and ran to the shore, jumping over the laid out roots of trees and thick bushes, branches scrapping at their exposed skin. They ran barefoot, undoing all the cleaning work of the fresh water until they spotted their put-out campfire and packs, left with no one to guard them. 

Kyra proved herself a quicker runner and jumped towards the clearing faster. She disappeared just as fast with nothing more than a yelp. 

Zuko pushed his way through the dangling vines, his chest heaving, not so much out of fatigue, but dread. 

"Kyra?" he yelled, and there was no answer. 

An invisible force kicked Zuko at the back of his knees, forcing him on the ground. The force grabbed a hold of his short hair, exposing his throat and pushed a fire dagger against it, close enough for him to feel the heat that awoke painful memories. 

Once he was secured on the spot, four Fire Nation soldiers came through their hiding place in the leaves, each holding Takiyo, Naoki, Rei, and Kyra, similarly.

In the middle, a fearsome figure stood, dressed in royal armor that fitted her a little too big on her small shoulders.

"Long time no see, _brother dearest_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, my vacationing unfortunately came to a timely end, but that means I'll be updating plenty more often! This is one of my favourite chapters, and I sincerely hope you love it as much as I do. Comment whatever comes to mind, I missed hearing y'all.


	13. Would I ever lie?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long author's note in the end, bear with me. Also! a quick sketch for this chapter will be up on my tumblr (@mayotheedgelord). Enjoy!

"Long time no see, brother dearest," Azula mused with a soft grin.

"That's your sister?" Takiyo exclaimed as if it was some jaw-dropping realization. It might as well have been. The way Zuko looked right now, dirty, soaking wet with choppy hair and half a face, he and Azula looked nothing alike.

"Agni, the genes in this family are just-"

Takiyo's inappropriate praise was cut short when the guard holding him jabbed a finger over the bandages covering his wound, and in turn, the boy seethed his teeth in pain. Rei jerked forward, and his guard reestablished a tighter hold, forcing him back in place.

Takiyo wheezed a painful, very unsettling laugh.  
"Oh, you'll _so_ pay for that."

Zuko's eyes zeroed on his sister. Something irritated him, and it had nothing to do with the bender pulling at his hair. His little sister, Azula, the firebending prodigy, the pride and joy of the Royal family was...distracted. Maybe it was the too big a chest plate resting on her shoulders, or the fact that her gaze couldn't sit on Zuko for more than three seconds. Whatever it was, it gave away that her head was somewhere in the clouds. 

"Azula, let them go," Zuko said sternly, and with as much dignity as someone being held at knifepoint could.

"I'm afraid your...comrades are deserters, and I'm obliged to upper-hand them," she replied and cast the archers an irksome look. "However, I will make my best effort to turn a blind eye towards their presence, if you do me a favor." 

Her voice was calm, almost too calm to mean anything promising. Azula had her hands folded behind her back and looked down at Zuko kneeling before her, yet she spoke as if they were equals. Was it some kind of mockery? A way to way to assert power? She had them both stand in a way that represented how Zuko felt for the better part of his life. Inferior. Lesser. The second. And at the same time, she spoke of favors, as though the rag-clothed former prince had anything to offer her.

"What is it?" he asked, half-curious and half-stalling, trying to find a way out of this. His gaze drifted behind the guards that encircled them and spotted four mongoose lizards, tied up in a tree trunk. That was Azula's way in, and their way out.

"Come home with me."

Zuko froze at Azula's answer. He couldn't have imagined that. Even his vivid imagination had its limits. A sharp pang sliced through his heart, a knife of homesickness and long-forgotten pride. It was Azula that held it, and she drove the knife deeper and deeper. A cruel punishment, tailor-maid for the dishonored Zuko.

"I can tell you're a bit confused," Azula spoke again since all Zuko had been doing was stare at her, blankly.   
"Father sent me to find you, and return you to your rightful place at the palace."

 _Rightful place my arse_ , Zuko thought.

"Was that before, or after he issued the order for bounty hunters to kill me on sight?" he spat. 

How stupid does she really think he is? His place at the palace may have tugged at his heartstrings once, though his logic was working alright and it told him to not believe a word that came out of Zula's mouth. Dangling the promise of a throne above Zuko's head was admittedly cruel, but even he was wise enough not to jump and catch it.

Azula flipped a hand in dismissal, smirk still intact.   
"That was nothing more than an empty threat, you know how Dad can be. Besides, the hunters know that bringing the bounty alive cashes more money than a corpse, much more if its the mighty prince of the fire nation."

"Why don't you cut the flatteries and tell me why you're really here for?" 

Azula squatted down to meet Zuko's eyes. Something flashed across her face when it leveled with his. Something that reeked of concern. It was too brief and Zuko may have imagined it all together. Just like that, it was gone and was replaced with a frighteningly convincing imitation of softness. Zuko knew Azula was anything but soft and refused to feed into her act. However, it did look very convincing.

"I'm telling you the truth Zuzu," That wretched nickname. "You won the Ranking Trials, your right to the throne was restored, and then to top it all off you managed to best the Yuyan security and escape the Stronghold. Father is most impressed. It's time to stop this tiring chase and return to the Capital with me."

Father is most impressed. What Zuko would have given to hear these words as a child. To have his father pat the small of his back over dinner, and throw him even the scraps of praise, the tiniest hint of pride. And now he finally had that, and it felt so wrong. He had longed for the words of a proud parent, a caring encouragement. What Azula had just handed him, was the praise of a not a war-hungry ruler that Zuko wanted nothing to do with.

"The Fire Nation is planning to invade Ba Sing Se and slaughter its inhabitants. Do you expect me to just agree with that?" he narrowed his eyes, ignoring the effect Azula's previous words had on him.

"No, of course not," she shook her head. "I didn't agree with it either. I honestly thought it would be a waste of resources. The Earth peasants are of much better use to us as laborers for the factories we'll build, rather than ash." 

A scoff escaped Kyra, and for that, the pull on her hair was reinforced. Zuko purposefully bit down on his tongue to restrain himself.

Typical Azula. Always apathetic and calculating. Always seeing people as means to an end and a favor coffer. What can I gain from them? How can they be of service?

"I told Father so, but he regretfully said I'm not crown princess, and therefore I don't have a say. You, however, are the crown Prince. You get to speak as freely as you desire if preventing the plan is what's bothering you." 

"We all saw how that turned out, last time." 

"Last time you weren't an esteemed, Yuyan soldier, nor a world-renown, wanted threat."

That...made a strange amount of sense in Zuko's head. His eyes flickered to the planning scrolls rested against their packs.

The escape plan was forged only because his deployment got postponed. Had that letter that was delivered to Zhao said Zuko could go home, he would have, in a heartbeat. He escaped to warn the Earth Kingdom, but if he could have stopped the invasion from the comfort of the Palace, he would. His father making him serve longer was just him honoring their original agreement-

 _It doesn't matter_ , his subconscious sneered in the back of his head. _They don't care, they never did. They sent you there to die and only congratulated you when you exceeded their expectations and lived._

Yes. And no one can guarantee that he'll change his father's mind, or that he will even be allowed to voice an opinion. The chances of him succeeding in halting the destruction of Ba Sing Se were slim, while he was sitting at the Capital's caldera.

But the chances of pulling through the current plan were growing slimmer. If he refuses, Azula and the royal guard would chase him till the ends of the earth to stop him from getting those scrolls to the Earth Kingdom. It would make the mission ten times harder, and he'd be bringing his friends into more danger-

Did he just call them his _friends_? 

He had trained beside them. Fought beside them. Starved beside them. He had even risked his life for them, on more than one occasion. And he would gladly do it again. There was no point in lying to himself. He cared about these four wretched Yuyan, no matter how hard he tried not to.

Maybe they cared about him too.

So yes, they were his friends. And if he goes back with Azula, these friends would be sentenced to death for their crimes against their Nation. Zuko may have not been an official recruit but they were lifelong members of the Yuyan. Becoming deserters was a criminal offense, punishable by death. He couldn't condemn them to such a fate, even if it meant saving the lives of millions. Agni, that sounded incredibly selfish.

However, if he did return to the Capital in the position of the crown prince, he would be able to vouch for their release. Even if he couldn't stop the plan with words, he'd at least be able to keep these four out of prison. Would they accept that? Would they abandon the plan they risked their livelihoods for, and take their chances with Zuko once more?

No, they wouldn't. But as far as Zuko could see, it was the better option.

Azula seemed to read through his pondering thoughts and gestured for the guard holding Zuko to release him. Good, he thought. In case this goes south, I'm not on a leash anymore. He got to his feet, now standing taller than Azula, who wore a pleased smile.

"Zuko what are you doing?" Naoki's pleading voice reached his ears and he tried not to look her way. He couldn't explain, not right now. He could only hope they would in time see he was doing what he thought was best.

"Come on, brother," Azula gave out her manicured hand for Zuko to take. "Would I ever lie about something like this?"

The words hit him like an unforgiving wave of the sea. The memories of him sitting curled up in the silken sheets of his bed and the embarrassing tears streaming down his cheeks came rushing back to him. 

_"Yes Zuzu," four-year-old Azula had rolled her eyes at him. Whenever did kids that age have such an attitude? "One of the servants took the duckling to the city, to find a vet that could treat it."_

_Six-year-old Zuzu sniffed and whipped his tears and snot with the back of his sleeve. He would be scolded for ruining the Kashmir, but he hadn't cared at that moment._   
_"Are y-you sure? B-Because its wing was broken pretty badly and mom said it could d-die if it wasn't treated properly."_

_"Of course, Zuzu, the turtle duck will be fine and you can soon go back to feeding it, or whatever." She smiled innocently. "Would I ever lie about something like this?"_

She would, and she had. 

They had roasted turtle duck for dinner that night. Turns out someone had decided to put the poor duckling out of its misery, and then collectively lie to Zuko about it, to get him to stop sobbing. When he found out, he went roaring into Azula's room, looking to start a fight. And he found one. They ended up sitting in front of their mother's chambers, each holding a strand of the other's torn out hair in their hand. 

Azula's chamber walls had black markings on them and ashes were scattered everywhere. As a punishment for the two, they were both made to sleep in Zuko's room, until Azula's was renovated and didn't look like the inside of a fireplace.

Now, fourteen-year-old Azula realized her slip up, the moment she saw Zuko's eyes widen. Without a moment's hesitation, Zuko lurched forward with a cry, repeating the decade-old events, and, as always, Azula welcomed the fight with open arms.

Just as Zuko attacked his sister, his companions found the perfect opportunity to fight the guards that held them. A commotion blew up in the clearing, but Zuko didn't pay mind to anything other than Azula. He had his eyes trained on her, pinned down bellow him, her wrists trapped within his hands. His gaze burned to hers, almost hatefully whereas she wore the expression of someone sunbathing on the beach.

" _You lied to me!_ " He chose those words over the thousands of insults clawing at the insides of his head.

"Yes. What I'm not getting is why are you surprised."

She wrapped her leg around his own and flipped them over in an instance, Azula now being the one hovering over Zuko.   
"You should have learned by now." she mused, evoking an angry growl to tear through Zuko's throat.

Zuko's heel withered around its hold and slammed on the back of Azula's knee. Her right side crumbled and Zuko took the chance to escape her grasp and stand up. She was on her feet only seconds later, both of them facing each other in perfect fighting stances. A furious frown etched on Zuko's lips, and a smirk played on Azula's.

"Did you really think father cares about what happens to your unfortunate soul?" Azula mused, her tone dripping in the deadliest of venoms. "You're a failure. An embarrassment. A traitor!" 

With a cry, Zuko and Azula formed their fire daggers and launched at each other, the way only sworn enemies would. They wrapped themselves up in a tangled mess of defense and offense, dodging and cutting, gripping, and tossing. Their forces were met in a flurry of firebending. Blue against red, fury, and chaos, all tied up with a perfect ribbon.

It almost felt like old times when they would tear each other apart in the Palace's training chambers and would only stop at the interference of a Master when they were both drenched in sweat. The keyword being; _almost_. This was different somehow. Their slashes were heated, more determined. Their fires seemed stronger, brighter. The fight was laced with a kind of unseen ferocity, raging anger boiling at the pit of each other's stomachs. Zuko noticed the misfired attacks, slicing through the wind and cutting entire branched in half.

This time they wished to truly hurt each other. 

"You're going to let him slaughter millions!" Zuko accused and quickly dodged a flying kick. "You're no better than him!" 

At this, Azula's arm slithered around Zuko's clumsy attack, and she threw him onto the fresh soil. Zuko grunted, the scrapping wounds at his face stinging, and the sky above him seemed to spin.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Azula exclaimed as Zuko forced himself on his feet. "You have greetings from Mai. She would have delivered them herself, but you see, communication in the Boiling Rock is kind of jacked up. I guess she should have known better than to defy me."

Zuko's teeth ground together to the point where he thought they might break.   
" _What did you do?_ " he shouted and lifted a kick at Azula's ribs, which she ducked under with ease. 

"So predictable." 

Zuko attacked again, fully knowing Azula would slip past all his stiff hits. He was merely lucky she hadn't yet decided to use lightning. If it came to that, Zuko wasn't sure what would become of him. Thinking became nearly impossible and red clouded his vision. His only goal was to take Azula down, to slam her back against the ground, and scream at her until his lungs were out of air. To demand explanations, to make her sorry for every lie, every tease that has ever come out of her lips.

A familiar grunt reached his ears and Zuko made the terrible mistake of following the sound with his eyes. He saw Naoki bent her legs into an impossible grapple around a guard's throat, bringing him down with a loud snap. Behind her, Takiyo was working on tying up one of the guards while Kyra held him down, and Rei was fighting against the flames of another, only a few feet away. 

"Zuko, watch out!" Naoki beckoned as soon as she caught him looking at them, but he was too slow. 

Azula's nails clawed at the right side of his face, making him stumble aside. Good thing it was a scratch and not a fire blast, or else his face would have been wholly scorched. Blood stained his fingertips when he touched the wound, and his heaving grew ten times more evident. 

He and Azula caught hands again but it wasn't long before she read through his hasted movements and knocked him to the ground, pressing her knees over his arms. She bore into him, and if it weren't for the tears brimming on Zuko's eyes, he might have noticed the slight twitch of his sister's perfect facade. The falter. The single second where she let her true anger escape. It was slim and went unnoticed. 

"Always the caring one, aren't you Zuzu?" she mocked the wet trail of a tear sliding against Zuko's cheek, cleansing the blood and the dirt. "That's why father always thought you _weak_ and favored _me_ instead."

She didn't lie this time, yet somehow it hurt more. Zuko pleaded with himself to stop crying, to hide his weakness, and lock it back into its cage. Why was he tearing up anyway? Was it the anger? The agitation? Did the burning of Azula's fingers against his wrist hurt that much? Was it the thought of his friends suffering at the hand of his own blood? Was it the image of Mai rotting behind the creaking bars of a cell that made him cry? He didn't know and therefore couldn't control it. He gritted his teeth and tried to blink away his weakness.

"Zuko!" Rei's voice called to him, and he caught sight of the Lieutenant cutting the bonds of one of the mongoose lizards. 

Zuko needed to escape but he knew he couldn't best Azula. Not in this teary, bloody state. Perhaps not at his strongest, either. He needed a distraction, and fortunately for him, Azula had just thrown him the perfect opportunity for it.

"Well," he grunted and struggled in her hold, to see how tight it was. "my being caring was also why mother _adored me...and couldn't stand the sight of you_."

Azula's eyes widened and something unknown flashed across her golden irises. Something that deeply scared Zuko. She was reliving something, a distant memory perhaps, the same way Zuko was only a few moments ago. It was painful, and Zuko hated that a tiny piece of him enjoyed it.

Not wishing to stick around and live through the consequences, Zuko kicked Azula in the gut whilst she was distracted and threw her off of him. He made a quick run for the lizards and grabbed onto Rei's reaching forearm without daring to look back. Rei snapped the reigns and the lizard started crawling at break-neck speed. Naoki rode another one and Takiyo clung to her tunic, holding the planning scrolls within his arms. Kyra was riding on her own, bow in hand and blood splattered across her face. 

Mentioning their mother was a low blow, Zuko knew that. Even he hadn't thought about her for a long while until today. He wished to keep it that way. Even the happy memories of her were painted grey and stained in pain. He hopped Azula would feel the same way, and that her mention would rattle her, though Zuko didn't quite anticipate the extent of her reaction. An explosion of blue, vibrant flames roared in the distance of the forest, while the five fugitives escaped on the lizards. 

Zuko saw Kyra flex her back to aim for any follower guards and shot one straight to the heart, despite the intense galloping of her steed and the growing distance. Unforgiving air blew at their faces, whipping any traces of fresh blood, and in Zuko's case, tears. He further clutched Rei's shoulders for support and let his mind drift off while they rode away from the oncoming disaster. 

That's how low his father had stooped, then. Sending his little sister after him. Did she intend to capture him? To bring him back to the capital in shackles for everyone to spit on outside the palaces gates? Or to kill him on the spot? No, if she wanted to kill him she would have done it while he was tied up at her mercy. It didn't matter anyway. Once he was delivered in the Capital, he would be executed. Dying was the only possible outcome for any run-in with his family from now on. 

That didn't discourage him. If anything, it assured him he was doing the right thing. He would get to Ba Sing Se, even in pieces. 

"Zuko, are you asleep?" Rei asked as silently as possible over his shoulder.

"Have you known me to do that a lot?"

He couldn't sleep with the intense crawling of the lizards, yet he made a sorry attempt at humor to lift the mood. Rei hummed, too weak and tired to perform an actual laugh of his. He turned his head ahead again, almost as if he avoided Zuko's gaze.

"When your sister offered you her hand...were you going to take it?"

Shit. Zuko had clung on a slim hope that no one but Azula would read through him when he stood before her reaching hand. He thought he could shake the situation off as always being part of the plan. ' _Yes, of course, I pretended to join her and would only fight her anyway! I would never abandon a plan we have killed, and almost got killed for. '_

It was easy enough for that to roll out of his tongue. It was such a pretty lie. 

Because, of course, he would have taken Azula's hand. He was prepared to risk everything he had worked towards, just to take her hand, to grab a tiny, false taste of what it would be like to restore his honor. He would have taken it if he hadn't realized Azula was lying.

Yet, instead of admitting so, Zuko merely said;  
"No. No, of course not."

Rei turned to face him and cast him a brief smile that seemed to stomp on Zuko's already crushed heart. Zuko sometimes wished he couldn't lie so easily. It would have saved him a lot of trouble. 

Rei's smile wasn't enough for Zuko to rid himself of the weighing guilt. He needed to do more, to do better. He needed to make sure his sister would never deceive him again. He needed to find a way to stop his father and ensure he would never hurt another innocent person. Not the way he has hurt him and Azula.

"I am, though, briefly reevaluating our plans," Zuko spoke, loud enough for everyone to hear and not just Rei.

"We're not just going to save Ba Sing Se. I'm going to take the throne." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! First I want to thank you for reading, commenting and kudoing. I've been saying it a lot during my notes but I'm constantly overwhelmed by your response to the story. In honor of reaching 3000 hits I thought I could gift you some fun facts about each of the oc's! 
> 
> 1) Rei's name very vaguely translates to "rule"/ "law", as a hint to his leading abilities and high rank.  
> 2) Kyra's original so-to-speak 'reputation' within the Yuyan was that she had the highest killing rank in the stronghold, in my original drafts. That's also why I used to have her name spelled "Kira", as some kind of obscure Death Note reference.   
> 3)Takiyo was originally written as non-binary and their name was Xin.   
> 4) Naoki's 'no-pain' ability is inspired by one of my real life best friends. She was born with a condition that makes her bones hyper flexible and she can bent her limbs at crazy angles without feeling any pain at all. In Naoki's case, I flipped the script a bit and gave it my own morbid twist.
> 
> Ask away in the comments about anything, I'm always happy to answer :)


	14. Hurt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For plot purposed, I have written a different interpretation for the Day of the Black sun. This will come to play in the next chapter and it will be explained thoroughly, but there is some foreshadowing in this one and I don't want y'all to get confused. Just keep in mind that on the Day of the eclipse, firebenders don't just lose their power, they grow physically weak. enjoy :)

The day Zuko fought his first Agni Kai was the worst of his life.  
The last seven days have been fighting for a close spot. 

The five former Yuyan archers have spent a week trying to avoid Princess Azula at all costs. Zuko had thought it would be easy since he'd spent a good part of his life doing just that. He was proven wrong during the first few days. Granted, the Yuyan were excellent hunters and knew how to cover tracks, just as well as they knew how to follow them. That didn't stop Azula from picking up their trail with relative ease. She had more resources, more man-power, and apparently more brains than the five of them.

By the dawn of day two, they abandoned their mongoose lizards and started going on foot. Well, in reality, the lizards abandoned them, right after trying to bite Naoki's leg off, but maybe that was for the best. Their footprints and distinctive scent were too easy to follow. At least that's what they decided to tell themselves to feel better, after having spent two hours of grumbling and tying up Naoki's bleeding calve.

Zuko resumed his firebending training that day. He wasn't allowed to use his bending whilst in Pohuai, but truth be told, he was too relieved not to. As a result, his firebending had leveled-down severely, and if he wanted to be any match to Azula's skills, he needed to start training again. 

Basic katas were the first thing he picked up. Going back to his childhood basics was beyond annoying, and frankly, it was shattering his self-esteem, though it was necessary. In his fight with Azula, his survival instincts had kicked in and he managed to hold his own. However, when Zuko decided to walk up to a forest clearing, all on his own, and step into his katas, that familiar terror rained all over him again. Each time the sparks flew too close to his face, each time the blaring sound of fire became too loud, Zuko found himself incapable of breathing. 

Still, he pushed himself to his limits, the way he always did and tried to exceed them. It wasn't only Azula he had to best now. It was his father also. Zuko told everyone relying on him that he would take the throne from the hands of his father, and there was only one way to achieve that; _Agni Kai._

The mere thought petrified him and made him want to dig himself a hole and lie there but that wouldn't help in the slightest. Challenging the Fire lord to a duel is the only way to dethrone him against his will. Doing so would mean depriving him of any real power, and would not only stop the massacre of Ba Sing Se but all ludicrous plans the Fire Nation could come up with, concerning warfare. 

Surviving long enough against his father to burn him was what Zuko had to do, and he'd be damned if he ever broke that promise. 

The group started taking extreme precautions on day three. First, they stopped visiting local villages for supplies, since wanted posters with their faces were plastered on every column of every town. Even by keeping a low profile, they couldn't slip through Azula's, or the local gossip's net. So they stopped going altogether. What little food they ate came from hunting whatever small-sized animals reigned the forest, and picking up the fruits that seemed the least poisonous. Needless to say, rabbits and berries were not nearly enough to keep five people on their toes. 

Then, they stopped resting near the river. Although setting camp close to a source of water was within Survival 101, it was also a very predictable move. They only got near the running stream to fill up their water satchels and maybe for a quick wash-up of dirt, and then they stormed into the wilderness again before Azula could detect them. 

On day five, they were tempted to visit a colonial town to buy themselves the mere indulgence of uncooked dough. Hunting hadn't gone too well that particular day, and their water supply was running dangerously low. The temptation was too great, especially with the scent of cooking spices that permeated the center of the town. There was a wild festival going on, probably to celebrate the Day of the Black Sun that was nearing.

Zuko never understood why the Fire Nation celebrated such a day, when firebenders grew ill and useless, deprived of their only power source. Maybe it was more of a tourist attraction, or maybe it was a sick joke invented by the Earth Kingdom colonials as some sort of payback to firebenders for conquering their lands. It didn't much matter. The festival served as a perfect cover for Zuko and his friends. They thought no one would care to notice them, too busy drinking and having -what was supposed to be- a fun time.

They had thought wrong. 

Just as Zuko was about to enjoy a meat and vegetable kebab he'd bought from a pressuring stand owner, a woman spotted him foolishly standing next to his wanted poster and proceeded to screech. The officers of law immediately recognized him, following the woman's treacherous cries, and so he dropped his kebab to start running past, through, and sometimes over, the market stalls. Zuko caught up with the rest of his team, grabbing whomever he could by the sleeve and forcing them on a run, with three officers running on their heel. 

In the midst of some epiphany and intense running, Takiyo came up with the ridiculous idea of heading straight to the heart of the festival and try to mingle with the crowd to appear inconspicuous. That didn't sound like such a terrible plan when they sneakily lifted a pair of cloaks from the stands they were running through, to cover their black clothing, though it did become terrible once they figured out that in the center of the villages square, there was a dancing feast. The tipsy crowds had all gathered together and pranced over the mosaic tiles, red and green skirts and cloaks floating between the empty spaces. 

Takiyo, of course, never lost faith in his plan and just pushed them all into the dancefloor without a warning. Zuko stumbled around the dancing figures of men like a ball in a game of pool until he washed up against Kyra, who was also being passed around clueless. They bumped onto each other's chests and froze in place.

Two rigid figures, staring at each other's wide eyes for a sign, an idea as to what to do. Zuko could almost feel sweat forming on his brow and he wasn't sure if it was a result of the intense temperature, the surrounding of moving bodies, or something else. Before he had the chance to figure out, someone's back pushed him into Kyra, and for lack of better actions, Zuko clasped her hands and started hopping around with her in the sea of people. 

Their forearms crossed and steps matched when finally Zuko decided to put his few traditional Fire Nation dancing lessons to use. Dancing was only ever reserved for high-end parties of the Royal family, yet Zuko had still been forced to learn how to move about, without looking like a hog-monkey. It was more than what he could say for Kyra, who desperately tried to match his steps while a look of idle surprise rested on her thinning face. Yes, it wasn't every day when you got to witness Zuko dancing, and being good at it.

Zuko's eyes raked the hoard of dancers, and on occasion, he spotted Rei and Naoki, putting up a frighteningly convincing act of two happy dancers, and then Takiyo, who had grabbed a random girl by the fingertips, and danced with her as if they'd known each other for years. Too touchy, too familiar. Zuko would have laughed at the way Chopstick was sweeping this girl off her feet, (literally and metaphorically) had he not been worried about the two officers scanning the perimeter in search of the five traitors.

The stars must have aligned that day, for they managed to escape the officers, and crawl out of the dancefloor safely. That was essentially the last taste of "fun" the five of them got to experience. Zuko found himself wishing it would last longer. Just them against the forces of the world, in the middle of a dancefloor, jumping and twirling till they were knocked off their feet. 

The two following days were stained by the worst kinds of hardship. 

The closer they got to Ba Sing Se, the steeper and rougher the road was getting. Even small villages became hard to come by, and their rout was marked by various forms of barren wasteland. Empty fields of dying wheat and yellow grass was all their eyes could see for miles on end. Spring had reached them for good now and its daily effects burned down their backs every morning. Black clothing under the scorching sun was definitely a setback. They'd lost sign of the river after their visit at the festival and only allowed themselves to drink a few drops out of their satchels until they secured another source of water. 

Zuko's feet had never ached more. Sometimes he felt like he had no feet at all, and he was just liquid from the waist down, gliding on the gravelly ground. The soles of his combat boots had nearly melted, and his robes were no longer pitch black, but saturated by the continuous exposure to the sun. His head buzzed, his whole being was sweaty and covered in dirt beyond recognition, and so far he'd counted four shallow cuts on his body that had been infected. One on his right cheekbone, that had been swollen and refused to heal, and three on the palms of his hands, opened up by the hard gripping of his sword handles. 

Speaking of his swords, the seemed to get heavier with every passing day. When Zuko tried to train on day six, he couldn't even hold them properly, let alone cut through the boulder he'd set up for a makeshift training dummy. Although his firebending techniques were growing stronger, and his aiming better as the aftermath of his archery skills, his inner fire burned lesser. The day of the black sun was nigh, and its effects were already taking a toll on Zuko. He could only imagine what it would feel like when it arrived.

He'd never wished for a bed to sleep on more in his life, and yet, he had also never been more determined. It was almost as though the more he suffered, the more his spirit spiked. Every time he'd thought he would collapse of fatigue, he'd huff and force himself into a sprint. Every time he thought he might die of thirst, he restrained himself from opening his satchel for another hour. Just to spite his childish self that grew up in velvet cushions and slept in silks. He didn't need those things any more than he wanted them. He had one goal, and nothing would stop him from achieving it.

_Get to Ba Sing Se. Get Iroh's help. Stop Ozai. Take the throne._

That's what he murmured to himself whenever his spirits were letting him down. That's what kept him fighting when the sun grew too hot, or when even the weight of his pack seemed unbearable. That's what he was lowly whispering right now, on day eight, while he was carving apart the headpiece of the crown prince, using his uncle's knife. Piece by piece he was dismembering it with the tip of the dagger, and then he would toss it into the small fire of their camp. First, he popped open the golden pin, then he broke apart the ring base, and then bent the golden flame into an unrecognizable piece of garbage, with the heat of his hand.

"Takiyo," Rei's voice picked Zuko's interest, and he raised his gaze to see the Lieutenant tossing a pre-fried dough pack to Takiyo. 

Takiyo returned the pack to Rei's lap, which made the Lieutenants eyebrows twist in confusion.  
"I'm not hungry,"

"What do you mean you're not hungry? You haven't eaten anything since yesterday." 

"I'm just not hungry okay?" his tone raised a little. "You eat it. You need it more than me anyway."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" 

Takiyo groaned, and although it seemed unintentional, he snapped.  
"You do the hunting, you strain yourself, you need the food. End of discussion!"

A moment of silence followed Takiyo's outburst, during which he cradled his long legs to his chest and looked away. Chopstick's arm was no longer tied to immobility, yet his injury was far from healed and he couldn't yet hold a bow. He'd tried but he couldn't pull the string further back from his chest without opening up his wound again. It seemed to frustrate him to no end, and Zuko somewhat felt for him, though he knew it was best if Takiyo rested. 

"Is that what this is really about?" Rei questioned and the rising edge of anger in his voice became evident. "You think you don't deserve your portions?" 

"Fucking finally Rei, I thought I'd have to draw it for you," Takiyo scoffed, throwing his hands.  
"Yes, okay, I can't shoot, I can't hunt, I can't fight. Not in this state. I have been slowing you down, and have wasted nearly all your medical supplies on my darn shoulder. Doubling down on the food I'm getting is the reasonable thing to do." 

The banter sparked the interest of Kyra and Naoki, who looked above whatever they busied themselves with, peeking at Rei and Takiyo. Zuko remained quiet.

Rei huffed, a last attempt to keep his cool, and then shoved the pack back at Takiyo.   
"We can work through your self-worth bullshit later, now eat your fucking dough, before I have you snort it." 

Takiyo opened his mouth, most likely to yell rather than eat, but Zuko's voice got to him first.  
"Rei just let it go." 

Everyone's eyes turned on him and it suddenly felt as though he made a terrible choice.  
"Takiyo will be hungry sooner or later and he'll have it then. Let him be stubborn."

The Lieutenant let out half a laugh. It was ironic, in a way that made the loss of color in his face more evident.   
"Of course you would say that. If I let you be stubborn every time you chose to, you'd be dead by now."

Zuko clenched his jaw and fists. Rei wasn't much lying, but bringing up Zuko's reckless nature in a bicker like this was only fueling it up.  
"I'm just trying to help."

"I don't need yours, or Rei's or anyone's help, thank you very much." Takiyo peeped in dismissal and propped himself up, ready to stand. Agni, the ways Zuko and he were alike, and how irritating that must have been to Rei.

"You, sit the fuck down," he said to Takiyo by pointing his index and then turned back to Zuko. "And you, you self-destructive little punk, let me do my job and keep everyone safe."

"Guys, cut it out," Naoki sighed, yet no one listened. The banter had turned into an argument.

Zuko had a sharp tongue. He knew so. Just as he knew that being salty about events they had overcome was pointless and petty. That didn't stop him from opening his mouth and letting Rei know just how sharp his tongue can be. 

"First off, it's not your job to keep us safe. Everyone is here at their own risk. And second, I'm not self-destructive, contrary to your constant criticism. What I do is; I value what I think is right, more than myself. Clearly, you are a stranger to that concept."

Rei's otherwise bright eyes turned into slits.  
"What you think is right, huh? Was abandoning us in the hands of the Fire Nation and joining your sister, what you thought was right, then?" 

"You _what?_ " Takiyo stood up with an accusing look directed at Zuko.

"Guys! Stop fighting!" 

"I told you I wasn't-"

"Don't lie to me, Zuko! Not again."

Zuko felt blood trickling in his palm where he was pressing his fingers. Rei was right, he was going to take Azula's hand before he realized he was tangled up in a lie. And he would be right to do so. It didn't matter whether Azula was lying or not. He was going to side with her to protect them. To protect his friends from the cruel hand of his family. And instead of Rei understanding that, he chose to feed into Zuko's cover-up, only to throw it back at his face during an argument like this.

How dare he? After everything he'd done to prove he's on their side? After giving up everything he thought was home and naming himself a traitor to save the lives of people he didn't even know? 

Zuko was angry. No, he was furious. No. Something greater. A sharp pain deep in his chest and a rising lump threatening to spill from his throat. He wished to punch Rei, to throw that darn dough pack in his face, to- to... he wanted Rei to apologize. 

_Zuko was hurt_.

" _Yes_." he spat, not having thought about what he was going to say.   
"I was going to take her hand. You know why? It was to prevent all of this!" he gestured wildly at their surroundings. "The hunger, the thirst, the pain, the constant fear of Azula hunting us down and killing you in your sleep! I wanted to spare you! You of all people should understand that, but I guess you're not the selfless leader you make yourself out to be!"

Rei looked stunned in the worst way possible. A frown etched on his lips that Zuko couldn't quite decipher the meaning of. Was he angry? Disgusted? Or was he simply hurt, the same way, if not worse than Zuko? 

As Zuko was seeking the answer to that, Takiyo stepped a bit closer.  
"If you wanted to spare us, you would have pulled your head out of your ass and realized that your sister was spewing lies right in your face!" 

"Everyone, stop it!" Naoki exclaimed again. No one answered.

Zuko's eye twitched. He didn't know if it was best to be angry or hurt. The combination of those, however, was the worst he'd felt in a while. He didn't want to be angry at his friends, and he didn't wish to be hurt either. They were telling the truth after all. Despite it being disguised in insults, it was still the truth. The truth hurt a lot more than lies, Zuko had come to realize.

"Yes, alright, I should have realized my sister was lying sooner. But I didn't. So what is the point of you blaming me for it now? Do you want to downplay me trusting someone who up until three weeks ago was family to me? Who still is family, despite the awful things they've done. Fuck you, Takiyo." 

Kyra jumped to her feet, her eyes narrowing at Rei.  
"You knew this..." she started, slowly inching closer. Her voice resembled thunder in the absence of lightning. A sure promise of a storm.   
"You knew Zuko's loyalties were wavering and you kept it to yourself? You said _nothing?_ " 

"Kyra! Not you too..." Naoki pleaded, trying to grasp Kyra's hand but she snatched it away from touch. 

"And why do you care?" Rei retorted, equally sharply. "It's not like you were jumping at the opportunity to join us in the first place."

Somehow, knowing Kyra's faith in Zuko was slipping made him hurt even more. To see her hollow cheekbones, warren from the hunger, her intense eyes, marked by dark circles. It hurt to know how easy it was for her to believe Zuko doesn't care for them. Because he did. He cared a whole damn lot.

Did _she_?

"Yes, Kyra why do you care?" Zuko seethed and Kyra whipped her head to burn him with her gaze. 

"I put my livelihood on the line to be here, to help you. So don't you dare point a finger at me and ask me why I care."

This wasn't the answer he had hoped for. And that answer would probably never leave Kyra's lips. It hurt. It stung. Zuko wanted to hurt her back.

"Everyone put their lives on the line, and they did it to help the people of Ba Sing Se. Whereas you joined only after Zhao demoted you! You know why? _Because you only care about yourself!_ You're egotistical and opportunistic and _selfish_!"

He regretted the words as soon as they escaped him. He wanted to erase that look of ferocious anger off Kyra's face. He wanted to break that awful silence that engulfed them, but luckily she did it first. 

"I joined you because I owed you my life." Her voice cracked in an unfamiliar and embarrassing manner. "Yes. I'm egotistical. And an opportunist. And probably the most selfish person there is. And since you already knew that, and feel so strongly about it, you shouldn't have asked for my help. In fact, you shouldn't have asked for any one's help to satisfy your hero complex, and long overdue rebellion against your _shitstain_ of a family."

"Enough!" Naoki stood to her feet with a powerful yell. She looked furious. Zuko hadn't thought Naoki was even capable of feeling irritated. Seeing her like this, fuming, frowning, was beyond unsettling. It was more than he could handle for one day.  
"Enough fighting! Two days without food is all it took for you to start turning on each other? Can't you see this is what Azula wants? She's dividing and concurring, wake up!" 

"No." Zuko rasped, his tone damaged from all the yelling. He glared at all of them, his eyes golden, judgemental slits. "Kyra is right. I shouldn't have asked for anyone's help."

He picked up his pack, his swords, and the planning scrolls, and he walked away from the small camp set under a willow tree. Father always said that if you want something done right, you have to do it on your own. That may very well be the only right thing he's ever taught Zuko. He forced his tired feet to carry him over the dirt-laid road. Behind him, the chattering of the Yuyan grew into faint whispers. 

"Let him blow off some steam, Rei. He'll be back."

Zuko's pace quickened. The further away, the better. And no, he wouldn't be back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst. That's it, that's the chapter.


	15. The Eclipse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo! I apologize for the untimely update. I've trying to balance schoolwork and writing and it hasn't been going amazingly. I'm also working on another fic, on the side, and I end up juggling and dropping everything at times. Bare with me though, I'm determined to finish this, since we're almost in Act 3! :)

Kyra grew up to think that the Pohuai Stronghold's bell was the most infuriating sound to wake up to. Well...the only sound she ever had to wake up to. That was until she had to endure a pissed off Naoki.

"Get your butts up, right this instance! All of you!" she squealed, and judging by the sound he made, Naoki hit Takiyo with something. He was quite the heavy sleeper.

"Agni, what the fuck can be so urgent in the middle of nowhere that requires our immediate attention?" Rei groaned as he attempted to sit up, a hand rubbing his eyes. 

There could be a lot of such things happening, ranging from Zuko's sister looking to roast their heads while they snored, to a pitiful animal eating away their remaining bread. Astounding how Rei seemed to erase all those possibilities. Perhaps what he meant to whine about was; 'What could get Naoki's pants twisted up her asshole in the middle of nowhere?'

"Zuko is missing!" Naoki stomped her foot.

Kyra sat up, perfectly awake, and so did the guys. Her calculations were off, and for a moment, Kyra did wish the urgency involved the Princess throwing a barbeque on their heads, instead. 

"He might have gone training with his dao?" Takiyo looked around the barren land, not really believing in his words. 

There was nothing but dying cornfields for miles, and the singular tree standing out of in this nightmare was occupied by them, and their sleeping bags. If Zuko had gone out to train, he would be visible. 

"No, all of his stuff is missing. And the scrolls. He never returned after he stormed off yesterday."

"Stubborn little fuck really meant it when he said he'd leave. Shit," Rei grumbled and got to work by folding his sleeping bag.

"Zuko is the stubborn fuck? Very rich coming from you, Rei." Takiyo mumbled. 

Kyra sighed expecting them to start biting each other's heads off again. Yes, because that went splendidly last night. Let's repeat the festivities.

Naoki interfered before another fight could break out.   
"I'll tell you what's rich. The fact that you're trying to pin this on Zuko as if he decided to just head off without a reason. _That's rich!_ " 

She cast a harsh glance at each of them. Saved for last, her eyes pinned on Kyra, with a particular hint of blame hidden in them. 

Honest. If there was anyone to blame for Zuko's bratty departure it was Kyra. She spouted her mouthful last, and it was the most hurtful one. It was _her_ words that pushed Zuko over the edge and she could admit that, at least to herself. 

_But._

Zuko was asking for it. Begging, in fact. She knew all too well that the boy's temper was a tickling one, and that's why she had decided to lay responsibility for the Princess dilemma on the Lieutenant instead when she had first risen from her seat. Yet, Zuko couldn't resist the itchy temptation of lashing out on her as well. He just had to open his venomous mouth.

Ah, the spiteful crap that hurdled through Kyra's head at that moment. What she lashed on him was just the tip of the iceberg. The mere remembrance of the look he cast her made her fists tighten. The way he spat her name as if it was shit on his tongue.

_"Yes, Kyra. Why do you care?"_

Spirits, if she knows. Her one wish was to escape that shithole that had become Pohuai under Zhao's command. To leave before she tipped over the edge of her rage, and slashed that bastard's throat amid his soundless sleep. She just wanted to be gone. And if by doing so she happened to help a certain hotheaded princeling with a nag for getting into fights, then so be it. As if that would right her wrongs.

She told him she owed him her life. There's truth in that statement. All they've been doing since they met each other was fight and then save each other's miserable lives. Is that why she cares, though? Does she even care at all? 

Shit, maybe the crack of dawn isn't the best time to be seeking answers on last night's fight. 

"Alright then," she grunted and pulled herself to her feet. She hated that it took actual effort to perform such a simple act. The hunger was gnawing at her strength, which is never a good sign.   
"Let's go find him." 

"Where do we even start?" Takiyo breathed, looking around at the wasteland that encircled them. 

Kyra's hand flew to shield her eyes whilst she took a look at the morning sky. A full moon was ascending, pacing quicker than the sun and threatening to catch up. The eclipse. 

"He can't have gotten far." The others noticed her gesture and repeated it, immediately concluding.  
"We'll be lucky if he's not laying passed-out in a bush somewhere." 

Having spent a lifetime in a camp of non-benders, the Day of the Black Sun didn't mean much to Kyra. Other than what Zuko had told her, she knew next to nothing about it. 

_"Think of it as the one day of the year when a firebender gets sick," he had said and Kyra had wondered if it was an understatement since he was already looking worse than sick._   
_"Our bending is blocked just like the sun and our energy drops like a leaf off the edge of a waterfall."_

_Poetically dramatic as always, that one. He almost made listening to him a fun pastime._

_"If it's all about the sun disappearing, shouldn't you feel this way during nighttime as well?"_

_He'd let out a small laugh at her question, which should have made her feel a bit stupid. Should have. Much to Kyra's horror, she found his laugh to be a pretty sound. Pity he doesn't grace them with it more often._

_"Well no, when night comes, the sun doesn't really disappear. It's still present in at least some part of the world and its power finds its way to us. During the eclipse though, the moon directly permits that power from reaching any part of the earth."_

_Kyra had cracked a barely noticeable smirk._   
_"And that makes you behave like a malnourished pussy with iron deficiency?"_

_"Precisely."_

* * *

The first half of the hour when Zuko stomped away from the campfire, he felt exhilarated. The adrenaline rushed through his veins at a fueling pace, so much so that any doubt he had about leaving was overshadowed.

_Screw'em_ , he had thought while fasting the strap of his pack. With or without company, the walk to Ba Sing Se remains the same. He can manage it alone. 

Shortly thereafter, the doubt sorely returned to cloud his senses but for a good while, he was able to fight through it and keep walking. 

_Okay yes, maybe Rei's cooking will be missed but ostrich horses munch on to wheat all the time, so how bad can it taste?_

By the end of the night, he had fully stopped in the middle of the dirt-laid road and was pacing around in contemplation. Luckily there weren't any carriages or travelers passing by at the time, for they might have thought Zuko, clutching a case of scrolls like a baby and talking to himself, was insane.

"What if a lizard creeps into the scroll case and eats the military plans while I'm asleep?! Should I memorize them? Or carve them on a rock for good measure?" 

_Turn back. There's still time to reach their camp or maybe meet them halfway if they've decided to go after you. It's never too late to stop acting like a bratty idiot_ , one part of him said, only to be shushed by another.

_Keep walking, weakling. As if they would abandon their shady tree camp to trail after you, after the insults you sputtered. You have the scrolls now. If they have any functioning cell in their brain, they will go into hiding until the bounty you helped hang over their heads disappears. Off you go._

Now, at the crack of dawn, Zuko had already made up his mind about walking further and was reaching the outskirts of what seemed to be an uncharted village. The eclipse hadn't fully begun, and yet his firebending was almost too faint to function. At the snap of his fingers, only sparks flew and no actual flame ignited, the way it should have. 

During past eclipses, Zuko and Azula were advised to stay in their rooms, for the majority of the day. No tiring activities, no skipping meals, and much hydration.   
Safe to say, Zuko was breaking all three of the main rules by a mile. His pack, swords, and scrolls, although of insignificant weight, had started feeling as heavy as a boulder stapped on his back. He had a single pack of unfried doe that Kyra had stolen from the inn in Colonial Village about two weeks ago, which he still hadn't eaten, and no water left in his flask.

For the first time in Zuko's life, the sun was his enemy. Sweat was drenching all of his garments, making them disgustedly cling to his skin. The thought of a bath resembled an illusory dream, and it had now become his greatest wish. 

The silhouettes of the ill-crafted houses peeked in the quavering horizon. Zuko started counting his steps in tens, some sort of comfort to keep him standing, and more than that, walking. He'd never dreamed of counting being this hard.

"Just another ten," he said, this time out-loud and barely recognized his own voice. The hoarse feel to it dragged across his dry mouth and throat, like the rasp of stone on stone.

When he reached a hundred steps, he was no longer walking but merely dragging his feet on the dirt, and when he reached the gates of the depressing-looking village he was about to collapse on the ground that had been so lovingly calling to him through the day. 

Village he'd called it? More like a ghost town. The streets were as empty as his stomach, and if any villagers existed at all, they must have been hiding inside the wooden boxes that tried and failed to mimic houses. There was a single market stall, set up beneath the graceful shadow of a house. In contrast to his surroundings, the man standing behind the stall looked ridiculously pleasant.

Zuko approached with a hunched back and his pack dangling from his weak fingers.   
"Cou...could you give me some water?" he rasped, to which owner of the stall scurried to find him a bottle. 

The man nodded and searched underneath the wooden surface, all while keeping a peeping eye on Zuko's face. Zuko couldn't tell if it was out of pity or fear, but he knew it annoyed him. Not as much as the desperation in his voice did, but a close second.

"Of course, young man. Are you alright?" 

Zuko grabbed the bottle with hasty movements and gulped it all in one go. The satisfaction was unreal. He almost felt like the cool water traced his ribs on its way down. He sighed in contempt and found the courage to fold up his sleeves, which he'd been wanting to do for a while. 

"Yes, thank you. I-"

Zuko stopped his movements when he saw the stall owner frozen in place, staring at his hands with fearful eyes. More specifically, at Zuko's ink-stained wrist. 

_Crap_. He really should have thought this through more carefully.

"No, no, it's fine. I don't want any trouble," he waved his hands apologetically to keep the man from panicking. "I'll pay for the water and leave, alright?"

Zuko had seen what a glance at the Yuyan triangle could do. He didn't want to think about the deeds that gifted the Yuyan archers their carefully crafted reputation. An elite team of unseen soldiers is nothing without the striking fear that proceeded them. The tattoo's effect had been beneficial back at the inn, but now it seemed it could only bring trouble. The saddest part was that Zuko indeed didn't want any. And he pitifully wished the man believed him.

"Is there a problem here?" a booming voice echoed from behind Zuko, the shadow of its owner looming over both him and the market stall.

With slow, hesitant movements he turned around and locked eyes with three Earth Kingdom soldiers. They were clad in heavy armor, almost as if they were about to march to the front lines any minute. The one begging the question was slightly more decorated, which lead Zuko to believe he was the squad's leader. One of the two men behind him had a well-cared-for beard and the other sported a set of exceptionally thick eyebrows. Seriously, they resembled caterpillars. None of them looked to be a bender if Zuko had to guess by their stance and weaponry, but then again, underestimating them would be a grave mistake. Benders or not, they looked itchy for a fight.

"No, I was just getting some water," Zuko murmured, trying his best to hold the gaze of the leader, though the task became increasingly difficult while the sun blinded him. 

"I was talking to the shopkeep," the man responded dryly. There was no begging the question anymore. These men were all but ecstatic to give Zuko a good bruising.  
"Sir, is everything alright?"

Zuko didn't dare look back at the seller, for fear that a mere glance would be incriminating. Instead, he silently prayed to Agni that the man would keep his mouth shut, for everyone's sake, and especially Zuko's. As per usual, Agni was probably not listening. 

"Yes, gentlemen," the seller stammered in a burst of nervous laughter, and although Zuko wasn't looking, he could sense the very sweat that trailed down the man's forehead. Not everyone is a gifted liar, it seems.  
"Everything is perfectly fine. Peachy! This young traveler was just extremely thirsty..."

It was a solid effort, and Zuko appreciated it, albeit insufficient to trick the soldiers. 

Within the blink of an eye, the Earth Kingdom brute pinned Zuko's wrist on the surface of the stall and forcefully lifted his sleeve to reveal the fearful red triangle. 

"Fire Nation," he sneered, eyes burning into Zuko's with the sly glint of victory. It only took as much for Zuko to conclude what kind of soldiers these men were. A pathetic, three-person squad, stationed at a graveyard of a village, with no better job other than to bully travelers.

Zuko grunted, feeling the strain of the uncomfortable handling. He managed to heave out half a laugh.   
"You'd think the golden eyes and black hair would give it away, but I guess not all of us have the age-appropriate wits."

The soldier didn't appreciate the boy's attempt at humor, and so he grabbed his nape and twisted the already captive arm behind his back, readying him for the iron handcuffs. As if, Zuko thought before he thrust his head backward, right at the soldier's temple. He'd be damned if he made all those miles and nearly died of dehydration just to end up in a wooden cell chained up like a platypus bear, for the crime of being born Fire Nation. 

While the leader was busy trying to tame the bloody river that ran from his nose, the other two soldiers behind him launched straight for Zuko. He dodged Eyebrow's grabbing hands and whirled behind the two, graining ground. Sheathing out his dirty swords and twirling them in his hands, he stared down at his opponents. The shopkeep took cover under his stall, not particularly eager to be part of the brawl. 

For a split second, he thought the soldiers' eyes widened at the sight of him. It was brief, but it was there. _Fear_ , that is. 

_Good_. They were about to become victims of all the past week's strain Zuko had to endure. By Agni, they should fear him. 

In the long moments spent staring down at each other, two things happened. One, the leader of the squad stopped being a whiny brat about his broken nose and had drawn out his sword. And two, an unmistakable shadow fell over the crumbling village. Zuko didn't need to look up to know what it was. The moon's presence had covered the sun, and by doing so, it soaked up whatever remaining energy Zuko had left in his malnourished body. 

Even if Zuko had been right and what he saw in the soldier's eyes only moments ago was fear, now there was no trace of it to prove it. At the spectacle of his buckling knees and sweaty forehead, one of the three soldiers dared smirk in satisfaction. 

"Not just Fire Nation born. A firebender. The worst kind of blight the world can suffer." the leader spat, still sporting a ghost of a smile though his hateful words. 

Zuko's teeth unconsciously gritted, and the grip on his swords tightened at a hand-trembling degree. With a forceful cry, he dove forward, swinging his blades until they met with the chain-based weapon of Eyebrows. The sheer force of Zuko's wielding caused the chain to wrap around one of his blades, using the momentum to send its edge right back at the soldier. The hard hit on the shoulder distracted Eyebrows enough for Zuko to turn and slash across his arm. 

Beard was next, thinking he would catch Zuko off guard by diving from the side, a long-sword gripped between his trembling hands.   
_'Each fighter has tells'_ , Rei's voice unwillingly echoed in Zuko's head. _'Your best chances lie in finding those tells, and using them to your advantage.'_

Beard's tell was easy to read. He reeked of fear from miles away. Even as he advanced, holding a half-decent form, Zuko could see right through his attack, thanks to the unmistakable stench of terror. 

If anything, Zuko was almost disappointed at how quickly he managed to get rid of Beard. You'd expect some quality brawling skills from a man who's facial hair almost surpassed Lieutenant Rei in height. But no, all it took was for Zuko to grip the man's blade between his own, twist, and throw it away. When Beard turned to look at Zuko with widened eyes, he almost felt bad for jabbing his dao's handle at the base of his neck, blocking the nerve and making him collapse. 

Quite a dirty move, coming from someone with Palace training. Takiyo's influence was intoxicating.

That left only the leader and Zuko's tired limbs on the imaginary ring. The brute had purposefully let his soldiers take up Zuko on their own until he was exhausted enough to stoop down on his level. There was not a lick of honor in that. 

Zuko ran forward and slashed away, arms stretching and folding simultaneously, blocking and attacking whilst keeping his fatigue at bay. The leader was handling a pair of swords similar to Zuko's, though of inferior craftsmanship. 

_'People of the Earth steel themselves before a fight. They deal with attacks head-on, and with a steady footing,'_ Iroh had once said to him. No doubt, Toddler Zuko had been bored during Iroh's tutoring of the other Nations, though right now, he inwardly thanked the old man.

_Steady footing_. Break the stance, win the fight. 

Before he had the chance to finish the thought, Zuko's blades found an opening and he dove downwards. With two graceful slices, he split the man's kneecaps open, inviting a painful growl. Despite the injury, the leader refused to surrender Zuko the higher ground. He prevented his blades from giving another fatal hit by trapping them between his own. 

There they stood, swords pressing against each other, battling for dominance mere inches away from furious faces. Try as he might, Zuko didn't have it in him to twirl out of the hold. Finally, his body had given up on him and refused to take orders, just when one of his previous opponents rose again.

Eyebrows started advancing towards the pair, holding his bleeding arm in place and sure to knock Zuko out of balance. This was the end if Zuko had ever known it. He had no more tricks up his sleeve. No more determination, enough to fuel his actions when his whole being had betrayed him, turned against him. He held the grip for a little longer, simply out of pride, as he prepared himself to get knocked down by the running, growling, third soldier. 

The thud he expected to hear and feel never came. Only the cut of an arrow through the wind. Zuko had never been more relieved to hear the familiar sound. 

The third soldier's run came to an unfortunate stop when a red-feathered arrow pegged itself on his exposed throat. Zuko whipped his head, happy as he'll ever be to meet the sight of his black-clothed companions. It had been a lethal mistake. The leader, still holding Zuko's dao between his own, and having recovered from the small shock of seeing his comrade shot, took advantage of this moment's weakness and released his hold.

Right, and down is all it took. Two clean-cut movements. Right, and the man's blade was freed from the tangled mess. Down, and it slashed across Zuko's lower stomach. 

* * *

  
They had been only a run away from the scene when the muscular soldier swung his arm outright and Zuko fell to his knees. Everything fell dead silent and it seemed that the world stopped functioning.

Agni fucking dammit, this had been one of the first lessons Rei had made sure to teach the princeling when he stubbornly waltzed into Pohuai. _Never take your fucking eyes off your opponent._

His discarded teachings still in mind, Rei didn't register the moment when Kyra sped forward, screaming. In all of his years knowing the girl, he'd never once heard her raise her voice. Her chilling tone and dull eyes were all it took for everyone to scurry away from her. And now here she was, battle-crying her way towards not Zuko, but his attacker, and trampling the bastard to the ground, hands around his massive throat.

_"Zuko!"_ Naoki screeched, her too running forward, with Takiyo. 

_Get your shit together_ , Rei's subconscious shouted and with a shake of his head, he sped towards the fallen body of his stubborn friend.

The sight of the princeling, laying on the ground with a pool of his own blood staining his shirt, was something Rei would never be able to forget. The image had engraved itself into his mind, now and forever, and by Agni, he looked as though he was talking. Rei swiped his hand behind Zuko's neck, resting his head on his dusty lap. Glossy eyes looked up to him, like Rei was some kind of benevolent fucking goddess, here to take him to the other side.

"I...I'm so...rry," Zuko coaxed, his tone resembling a crunching leaf, stomped under a boot.

"Shut the fuck up, Princey," Rei warned, and waited for Naoki to finish taring apart her tunic for fabric. 

The night of the escape played on his head all over again. Takiyo's head resting on Naoki the same way Zuko's was. They even had that same, lost look on their faces while they stared at the sky, perhaps seeking help. It hurt less the second time around, when Rei would have thought that the opposite should be true. What an awful conclusion.

Zuko's bloody hand weakly shoved the scroll case onto Rei's chest. A beg, for Rei to promise he'll finish the job in case Zuko couldn't do it himself. 

Rei pushed the case back, forcing Zuko to hold it.  
"You give it to them _yourself_ , you hear me?" 

In the short background, the sound of continuous and brutal punching echoed. For a second, Rei feared the soldiers were back for more, but quickly realized that wasn't the case. When he followed the bone-crushing thuds with his widened eyes, he noticed Kyra, still straddling the soldier she attacked, right fist lifting and banging down of his face, once, twice...thrice. She'd turned his head into a fucking blood drum.

Had he not known any better, Rei would have thought she was possessed by something. Her eyes were unreadable, darkness swirling inside of them like honey inside a cup of tea. Porcelain teeth gritted against each other, threatening breakage, and she _still. Kept. Punching._

A second passed, where Rei thought he should let Kyra be. It's not like that power-abusing fuck of a soldier didn't deserve it. He didn't know what had gone wrong but he knew Zuko wasn't stupid enough to pick a fight with Earth Kingdom Officers while on the run. The issue was, the soldier Kyra was attacking didn't much look like a person, to begin with. Agni, his own mother wouldn't probably recognize the blotchy, bloody mess Kyra's fist was grooming. 

Before he could give himself more time to ponder over it, Rei got behind Kyra and gripped her punching hand by the wrist. Her head snapped towards him, and in return, he almost stumbled back once her golden pools of rage settled on his face. 

He strongly believed that there was no person scarier than Zuko when he gets angry. The princeling could very much make grown-ass soldiers cry if he wanted to, with just a flash of his scarred side. He had never, though, seen Kyra angry. And somehow, in the way she was looking at him now, like a predator that had been interrupted from its meal, Kyra made Angry Zuko look almost friendly. _Almost_. 

Was it natural for him to fear his comrade? Kyra of all people, whom he helped train? Maybe that's precisely why he feared her at that moment.

_"Enough!"_ he barked, in hopes to get back some of the blood warmth that she stole from him.

Her chest heaved, but at last, her fist stopped shaking in Rei's grasp and the glint of well-hidden peacefulness in her eyes made a glorious return. Almost as if being broken out of a spell, her gaze fixed on the fallen figure of the soldier and didn't recognize the fuck-up she had made of his face. Blood spouted out of his mouth like a fountain, undetected wounds oozed and the whole shit had started swelling, looking like a fucking gigantic grape.

Slowly, Kyra's eyes trailed their way to a pale-looking Zuko, struggling to keep his eyes open, with Naoki and Takiyo pressing filthy clothes on top of his wound to stop it from bleeding. 

"We need to find Zuko a healer."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First time changing povs, I hope this wasn't too confusing. Please don't hate me for giving Zuko too much crap in this fic. I'll admit I was being too ambiguous when I was outlining it, thinking I could handle writing my child getting hurt...many times. I swear I know where I'm going with this, and it isn't for shock value. Trust a stranger with a laptop and shitty ideas :))


	16. Of Blood and Sugar Canes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love this chapter. That's it, that's the opening note. I fucking love this chapter. Borderline teared up while editing it, 'cause I'm a pussy. Also! someone had asked me if the other atla characters are going to be in the story? I think this is your answer.

_Helplessness._

Kyra had discovered it to be a new language of suffering. 

She'd never thought she would find herself in a mud pit, surrounded by wooden houses with poorly built roofs, calling for help left and right, hands cupped around her mouth. But there she was. And no one was answering those calls. 

"Help! Someone! Anyone, for fuck's sake!" she bellowed once more, the tiniest bit of hope she had at the start of their walk, now slipping away in cowardice. 

"I don't think cursing will be of any service," Takiyo grunted while trying to cope with carrying Zuko alongside Rei. The strain his shoulder injury was giving him was clear as day, yet no one dared relieve him of the job.

He was right, anyway. Whatever villagers inhabited this forsaken place must have hidden away in their shitty houses once the sounds of Zuko's confrontation reached them. Now, they were refusing to answer the group's calls for help. If there are any villagers, that is. Kyra was seriously starting to doubt anyone other than the soldiers has walked on this soil for the past century.

Curse them. These soldiers, if she can even call them that, were the reason they were into this mess in the first place. The reason why Zuko was now being dragged by Rei and Takiyo across the dirty streets of who-knows-where, leaving a crimson trail behind him with every step. 

Kyra shifted the weight of everyone's packs in her arms to take a look at her right hand. Beneath all the blood and purple bruising, she spotted the unmistakable swelling of breakage. Two knuckles were ridden, and probably a lot more unseen damage. She couldn't flex her fingers at the moment, which was not reassuring either. The bright side was knowing that most of the red that stained her fingers was not hers.

She could still feel the soldier's fading pulse underneath her digits, the cracking sensation of bones on bones. Hadn't Rei stopped her, Kyra would have seen that pulse go extinct. She wasn't sure if she was grateful for this interception or not. Still, it gave her a sick kind of satisfaction knowing that bastard was now bleeding out on the village's central square. If this was indeed a ghost town, all the better. No one would take the time of day to save him. 

The hair on the back of Kyra's neck rose at her thoughts and she shuddered to shake them away. Zuko's safety was the objective now. She could settle her grudges at a later time. 

With a heave of exhaustion, she thought about trying to yell one last time.  
"Help-"

" _Over here!_ " 

All four of their necks whipped to follow the sound, assuring Kyra she didn't imagine it. A young, dark-skinned girl was standing on her house's entrance, gripping the edge of her near trampling screendoor. Her ocean-like eyes were wide with worry for the five strangers crossing the streets beyond her porch.

"I'm a healer!" she stated and waved for the four of them to approach. "Bring him in. Quickly!" 

They didn't need to be told twice. Rei and Takiyo carried an unconscious Zuko inside the girl's house with newfound strength, Kyra and Naoki falling into quick steps behind them. Very much in character, Naoki smiled up at the sky, who's colors were altered by the still evident presence of the moon and muttered a prayer. 

This one better fucking work, or else Kyra might have to choke the life out of the moon too. 

The interior of the home was much more inviting than the exterior. It was kept particularly minimal, not plenty of personal objects, but meticulously tidy, to the point where Kyra felt ashamed of walking in with her mud-stained presence. The girl gestured for Rei to have Zuko lay on the carpeted floor, not once caring about the red marks he would probably leave behind. 

"Sokka! Fetch me a bowl of water. And make it quick!" she called, already getting down to business by untying Zuko's robes. Kyra couldn't help but think he would hate the contact, had he been awake. But he isn't. 

When the healer laid eyes on the cut, her lips parted. Even by Yuyan standards, it was deep and nasty. She scurried off, looking for the appropriate supplies.  
"What happened?" she demanded

"We were attacked by bandits," Takiyo took the lead, holding the straightest face Kyra had ever seen him wear. Bless him and his lying-thieving-seducing heart.   
"They took most of our staff and steeds, and this little skiv tried to stop them."

The healer looked up to them, the faintest of smirks stretched on her lips. It was a smirk of remembrance. Perhaps a memory of someone like Zuko crossed her mind.  
"Is he brave or stupid for doing so?"

"Both," the group answered in unison, voicing the same thought.

In time to break the heavy moment, a young man, who bore an uncanny resemblance to the healer, came in, holding the bowl she had asked for. Presumably, he was Sokka, and if his looks were any clue, he and the healer were Water Tribe. 

"What's going on- oh, dear Spirits someone is bleeding on our rug!" his eyes flashed white at the sight displayed in the living room, nearly making him drop the bowl before the healer took it out of his hands with a scold.

Her delicate hands lowered until they made contact with Zuko's exposed lower abdomen, at which the girl flinched, accompanied by a sound of sudden pain.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Rei jumped forward in concern. 

The girl's eyes glazed over Zuko in pure confusion.   
"He's...burning." 

"He has a fever?" Kyra asked, pressing for a proper answer while the Prince's blood made an appearance on the carpet below him. 

"No human body can reach this kind of temperature unless..."   
Realization struck the girl's features like thunder. " _He's a firebender_!"

The words hadn't quite left her lips when Takiyo made for a quick grab of an arrow from his quiver. Sokka's impressive reflexes kicked in and he slammed Takiyo onto the nearest wall, pinning him in the right places before he could do whatever he intended with that arrow. Simultaneously, Rei made a ghost of a move to rush towards Takiyo, but Kyra restrained him with her arm. They were on foreign ground with unknown opponents and the healer was most likely a bender. Should they flinch the wrong way, they will get eliminated in an instant, and Zuko's left to die.

"Let us explain!" Naoki exclaimed, waving two apologetic hands in front of her.

The girl eyed her down like a very dangerous predator, hands lifted on the ready and a bowl of water at her side. Definitely a bender. A trained one, at that.  
"You lied about your identities! What is there to explain?"

"We're deserters! Former Yuyan archers, hunted by the Fire Nation. That boy bleeding out before you is Prince Zuko. Sure you must have heard about the bounty that hangs over his head! We're not on their side!" Naoki pleaded and the healer's look softened only for a split second, then darkened again.

"So what if you're not on the Fire Nation's good graces anymore? You have served. The evil is done. Why should we let you roam freely after the crimes you've committed?"

She wasn't wrong. Plenty of evil had been done by their hands. Kyra's hands. If that evil were to be the reason Zuko dies on a stranger's carpet, she couldn't forgive herself. 

Meanwhile, Takiyo was trying to slip out of his chokehold. In the few moments that Sokka's head was turned the other way, trying to catch the eye of the healer, Takiyo's foot was slowly snaking its way around the man's shin. 

"Don't even _think_ about it," Sokka warned, reading right through Chopstick's cheap street tricks, and stomping on the foot. 

Takiyo cast his characteristic smirk, although it seemed more forced, considering the air was being pressed out of his throat.  
"Jokes on you-" he gruffed. "I'm kinda liking this."

Naoki shook her head and hands again, wishing to get the healer's eyes back to her.   
"We're traveling to Ba Sing Se with plans that could help the Earth King stop the war!" 

They both stumbled and looked to each other, seeking approval. Naoki's eyes found Kyra's and with a curt nod, she told her and Rei to lift their hands as an act of surrender. They did, reluctantly, though Kyra couldn't tear her gaze away from the growing red stain on the rug. He hasn't got much time left.

Kyra wasn't certain whether spilling the details on a top-secret military plan that almost got them killed, was the best option on Naoki's part. But it was their only option and Zuko's only chance. The cat was out of the box already, might as well go all the way. 

"We have proof about everything and we'll show you, just-" Kyra struggled to keep her voice steady. "Save him first."

The girl looked once more to her brother, who gave her a negative nod. She, on the other hand, lowered her defenses, disobeying his wishes.

She looked over to Kyra, and it somehow felt like she was laying responsibility on her.  
"Give me one reason to think you might hurt me, or my brother, and the Prince dies."

"Understood."

Sokka released Takiyo, and Rei appeared to his side as soon as his boney knees hit the floor. Hands still hanging above her head, Kyra too lowered herself to her knees and sat there. She hopped the gesture of submission would be enough to convince the siblings. At least until Zuko wasn't hovering on the brink of death any longer. 

The healer shut her eyes and breathed deeply. When she opened them again they held a peculiar kind of glow, though that wasn't what peeked Kyra's attention. Dark-skinned hands rose over Zuko's body and started waving in slow movements, dragging closer and closer to the wound without once touching him. It took Kyra and the rest a little more than a second to realize what she was doing. 

The red stain disappeared from the carpet's surface.  
And then Zuko's clothes.

All the Spirits, she was bending his lost _blood_. Drawing it back to its source.

Her graceful fingers moved more confidently by the second, seeming as though they were sewing a tapestry, made of invisible strings. Red droplets bowed to the girl's commands and retraced their path towards Zuko's open wound. Once a satisfactory amount of the liquid was placed within Zuko's body, the healer let one of her hands wander, lifting a bubble of clean water served to her by her brother. Both of her hands pressed back on the slash, and her brows furrowed in concentration. The water began glowing like a catacomb crystal, and in its wake, Zuko's skin started repairing itself, bit by anxious bit. 

Everyone watched in awe, apart from Sokka who had probably witnessed the astounding, yet all the same terrifying process, before. The young man simply stood in the corner, hands crossed over his chest in the most basic defensive stance. It didn't take a genius to realize he didn't approve of his sister's actions. 

The glowing halted and on cue, Zuko's chest rose into the deepest breath. Naoki and Rei leaned forward, their hopes skyrocketing. Zuko made no other move. He remained still, eyes shut. A tired child, sleeping soundly in comfort.

"He's out of danger for the moment but it might take him a while to recover completely. It's unlikely he'll wake up any time soon," the girl said.

"In the meantime," Sokka cut in, a humorless tight smile displayed on his face. "You've got some explaining to do."

\------

The healer's name, as it turns out, was Katara. She and her brother were refugees coming from the Southern Watertribe, looking for a place where Katara's bending talents wouldn't go to waste. This ghost town apparently is part of a construction project, and so far the siblings are amongst the seven villagers residing here. It also just happens to be the perfect place to set up a healing shop for wounded travelers, but that's a work in progress.

They were all indulged into that information, right after a particularly gentle interrogation, during which the siblings merely glared at them intimidatingly and demanded answers. Fortunately, the Yuyan were in a mood to tell the truth, since Naoki had pretty much spilled more than half the beans of their scheme. Had it been a different scenario (one that didn't involve feelings of gratefulness for saving Zuko's life) two pairs of blue, hard eyes wouldn't have been nearly enough to break the silence code of four highly trained Yuyan.

They weren't Yuyan anymore, though. 

Sokka proved himself more than capable of both grasping and explaining a military plan, once the group was forced to show them the damned scrolls they had gone through the inferno to obtain, and then keep. This nifty skill earned the boy a couple of rough-edged comments from Takiyo, at the ends of which he asked. 

"Does skinny, here, have a silent mode?"

Now, a few hours, and a hot cup of tea later, Kyra was sitting on the floor next to Zuko's sleeping body, with Takiyo by her side, while Rei and Naoki, being the pleasant bastards that they were, attempted to spark conversation with the Watertribe siblings in the kitchen.

"You think they'll rat us out?" Kyra broke the comfortable silence between them, eyes fixed on the figures of the siblings.

"To whom? The empty houses or the soldiers you and Zuko sent into astral projection earlier?" Takiyo scoffed a laugh seemingly unfit to such a subject. "Wanna talk about that, by the way?"

"No."

The boy shifted in his seat to face Kyra properly.   
"Too bad then, because I do."

Takiyo is excellent at serving negative answers, whether those revolve around displays of affection or unprovoked investigations on the undisclosed parts of his childhood. Receiving "no"s wasn't Takiyo's specialty. Far from it. When he puts his mind to something, that boy can be almost as prying and infuriating as Naoki, yet not nearly as emotionally intelligent.

Yes, Kyra could admit that Takiyo could (and would) seduce half the world into obedience if he ever felt like it. But when superficial desires were cast aside and real emotions came to play, he was only good at running. 

Judging by the look he was giving Kyra at the present, he wasn't dropping the subject any time soon.   
"Why the overkill?" he asked. "I mean, I thoroughly enjoyed the well-deserved spectacle, my curiosity just can't be helped."

_He was hurting Zuko._

"I didn't like his face." Kyra shrugged. "Thought I'd rearrange it a bit."

Takiyo released a soft laugh, quiet enough not to disturb Zuko's rest.   
"I'm not blaming you," he said, eyes drifting towards where Rei was peacefully sitting in the kitchen, a cup of tea cuddled in his palms. "I can see myself doing the same."

\-----  
Everything. _Hurt._

Zuko couldn't remember the last time he'd felt such intense pain. His stomach screamed at the bare rising of his breath, feeling as though it was ripped apart and sewn back together. 

And then it dawned on him that it probably was. 

His latest memories of the fight with the soldiers came rushing back, unforgivingly. All he remembered before passing out was seeing his friends' faces, out of the corner of his eye. Then a slash and a stroke of vivid red, painting the sky above him as he fell. He seemed to have never gotten up, judging by the fact he was still laying on the ground. Not the village's square dirty ground. Some fluffy carpet, who's fringes tickled the side of Zuko's face. 

He attempted the smallest of movements. Opening his eyes. At the flutter of his lashes, blinding light squinted its way through, forcing Zuko to shut them again. Just thinking of the effort it would take for him to get himself standing, made Zuko want to shout.

The sound of creaking floorboards made his reflexes kick in. He remained perfectly still, putting his best effort to act the part of the unconscious. For all he knew, he was being held captive and his waking would kickstart a chain of unpleasantries. 

"Shit, I thought he steered." 

_Kyra's voice._

So no, he wasn't in captivity. That didn't make him want to open his eyes any more than he did before. Apparently, they had found him and dragged him to safety. To where that safety might be, he had no clue. But it meant there were to be plenty of opportunities for awkward, apologetic interactions between him and the Yuyan. And that was something Zuko wasn't ready for.

He hadn't spoken to any of them since their fight. Awful things were said and he had yet to apologize for any of them. Now that Kyra was literally hovering over him, trying to see if he awoke, the task felt ten times harder. Where does he even begin? What does he say?

'Yeah, sorry for being a brat and disappearing in the middle of the night after spewing some unthinkable insults at you, but hey! you basically saved my life, so are we good?'

The warmth of Kyra's looming figure disappeared momentarily, followed by the sound of a disappointed seating against the creaking floor. 

"I'm starting to imagine things. That's just wonderful," she mumbled, and Zuko could paint an accurate picture of her rubbing her hands on her tired face. 

"Katara said we should talk to you. Chances are you're actually listening and it may help you break through unconsciousness, but it's late, everyone else is sleeping and I'm running out of ideas, so I'm just going to spit random shit and if you remember anything when you wake up, act like you don't."

The smile that almost broke through Zuko's features was hard to control. Kyra's voice danced around the corners of the room, dull and collected as ever. He could still feel her presence, and he figured she was sitting very close to him, probably cross-legged, if he had to guess. Whomever this Katara was, Zuko thanked her inwardly. At least now Kyra's talking would fill the silence, postponing Zuko's need to fully wake up. 

"I don't get how Naoki sat here for two hours bubbling to you without getting any response. She must have narrated you her whole life story, no wonder you didn't wake up. What should _I_ say?"

Somehow the heartache Zuko felt at that was worse than the one on his stomach. He had fired up a screaming match with everyone the last time he'd seen them, and now here they were, taking care of his unconscious body and doing everything in their power to bring him back. And what did he offer in return? He laid there cowardly, refusing to face the quarrel and apologize. Such a good friend.

"About a week ago you asked me about my tattoo. It's a long story so I guess it'll do," Kyra spoke again all of a sudden. Her voice betrayed her, revealing her mind was drifting to a time and place far away from wherever they were sitting.

Zuko conjured an image of the design on her back. The two koi fish drawing a perfect circle. He wanted to say something, let her know that he was listening, for it felt like he was prying on her thoughts by pretending to be asleep. His throat was drier than the desert and couldn't fathom voicing a word. He gave up his efforts and decided to let Kyra vent, for once.

"The woman that gave birth to me was a slave," she breathed, the outting of the words seeming to physically tire her. 

Zuko almost betrayed his woken state by widening his eyes. He restrained himself at the last second. A phrase echoed in the back of his mind.  
 _'I know how to braid baskets from sugar canes...'_

"I think she was a captive from a Northern Watertribe warship...at least that's what I remember. She was captured and sold to a Fire Nation nobleman, along with some others of her keen, to work on his farms. He was the one that impregnated her. They didn't fall in love or anything remotely close to that," an empty laugh escaped her lips upon thinking how ridiculous that notion was.

"It just...happened. I just happened. From the moment I was born, each of them saw me as a nuisance. A child, meddling with the fieldwork, lacking proper care and necessary attention. So, when I became six the nobleman gave me up to junior Corps, where I could be of better use. I don't think my mother put much of a fight for me. Maybe she thought the whipping in the Corps would at least be worth it if it meant that one day I'd learn to fight back. But I couldn't tell you for certain. It's not like I have any actual memories of my time in the estate. Only flitting images of cornfields, pricked, torn up hands, and scorching heat. The rest is written on a file, sitting in Shinu's office."

Her voice cracked in an unfamiliar manner, and only then did Zuko found it in himself to open his eyes. She didn't notice him, having cradled her knees to her chest, resting her forehead on top of them. A heavy sigh stuck upon the dead silence.

"I always heard about how in the Water Tribes, they value the sense of family and solidarity. That's what I had in mind when I got the tattoo. That, maybe, in some other life, I could belong somewhere? In a tribe? In a family? Shit, I don't know...it sounds so _stupid_ when spoken out loud..."

Kyra groaned, annoyed with herself, and ran her small hands over her hair, head still buried in her knees. Zuko could do nothing but lay next to her, his head lulled to the side so he could ogle at her curled up figure. Memories of the night before Azula attacked them clouded his mind. Then too, he was staring at her with utmost admiration, and she was unaware.

"I don't think it's stupid," Zuko rasped, his voice closely resembling the one of a dying parrot.

Kyra's head snapped upwards, perhaps having forgotten he was in the room with her, or just surprised he was awake.  
"You're alive."

"Barely," he replied and tried to regain feeling in his legs by moving them. He groaned, half in pain, half in frustration.

"Have you been awake for...?" she started, not quite daring to ask the fearful question.

"Not for long," Zuko lied, relieving her from the embarrassment. 

Kyra's lip upturned into the smallest of smiles for a fragment of a second, and then her gaze averted Zuko's. Her hands fell from the hug around her shins and rested onto the floor.

Seeing her bruised up, busted hand so delicately laid on the wooden floor, gave Zuko the unexplainable and overwhelming urge to hold it. His own unmoving palm laid dangerously close to hers, and he wanted...He wanted. His index moved from his stiff position, ever so slightly, and ventured as far as it could without the help of the rest of his hand. 

And that was it. His finger stayed there, separated from the others, in an attempt to touch Kyra's. The distance was nothing and yet felt like miles. Kyra's palm suddenly pressed on the floor to prop her up, and Zuko immediately retrieved his hand. 

"I'm going to let the others know you're awake."

And with that, she was gone, leaving Zuko alone with thoughts about how he wanted to kick himself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, normally, once human blood exists the body, its basically useless since it comes in contact with the air, and gets polluted. BUt, for plot purposes, let's excuse my dumbassery and pretend this tracks. I mean, Katara literally resurrected Aang in season 2 with some spirit water magic, I think I get a pass.   
> Let me know if y'all loved this nature-law-breaking chapter as much as I do :))


	17. What If's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, it's been a while and I've missed y'all. It's a great time for me to be re-reading your old comments and getting motivated, I can't thank you enough for the support :))) I've been going through a major writer's block these past few weeks, and unfortunately i'm still not fully out of it. School has literally been crushing every ounce of creative energy lingering in my body. But I swear I am NOT giving up on this fic! Updates will just crawl a bit slowly.

Being Sokka's and Katara's houseguest, admittedly felt to Zuko like a gift from the spirits.

The day of his waking and a few moments after Kyra had stormed off the room, Katara had entered with a rush. Zuko made her acquaintance whilst her water-covered hands run along the surface of his wound, which was less than an ideal first-meeting scenario. She was apparently responsible for saving Zuko's life, and as much as Zuko tried to spark conversation to express his gratitude, he was quickly made aware of her somewhat cold demeanor towards him.

It seemed strange at first. How could she be hostile when she didn't even know Zuko? He then realized it was precisely because she didn't know him that she was hostile. A couple of backhanded comments, a few eye-rolls here and there, and it finally dawned to Zuko that her obvious Watertribe heritage came with a whole lot of baggage. Baggage for which his people were responsible.

She had yelled the story of it all while she was treating Zuko one evening when he was being particularly judgy. The Fire Nation had devasted her home, torn apart her family. Yet there she was, tending to the personification of it all. The Fire Prince. He never dared complain about her mild lack of caution again.

Zuko grew accustomed to her coldness and didn't criticize her for it. It wasn't like they'd become friends any time soon, and welcoming them in their home was more than what he and his friends expected, or even deserved. Her brother, Sokka, on the other hand, was much more discreet concerning his feelings about housing five Fire Nation soldiers. Zuko might have imagined it, but it kinda seemed that as the days went by, Sokka unwillingly warmed up to them. 

He had a good sense of humor, Zuko came to find out. A refreshing change from Rei's joy-murdering puns and Takiyo's blush-inducing comments. 

Considering Zuko's health, his recovering was agonizing, but luckily, speedy. Despite Katara closing up his wound, some of the physical strains, such as the splitting pain, remained. The wound itself needed constant healing sessions from Katara and extensive cleaning. The latter proved itself particularly challenging when Zuko discovered that he could barely walk without someone's support. That resulted in him being washed by Naoki, during the first two days. Needless to say, it took a lot of convincing to get him into the tub. And a lot of dragging, also.

The first time he forcefully entered the bathroom was also the first time he'd faced a full-body mirror in two months. He gasped, stumbled backward, and nearly gave himself a concussion by almost falling on the squeaky clean marble. The sight of his chest and upward was jaw-dropping, and as much as Naoki soothingly rubbed his back, trying to convince him he looked fine, Zuko didn't believe a word. 

He gazed at his scrawny reflection and realized he might have grown skinnier than Takiyo. At least Takiyo's kind of skinny stemmed from very defined muscles and absolutely no fat. Zuko plainly looked like a skeleton at this point. His ribs were starting to show off on his sides, his arms were covered in insignificant cuts and bruises and his face, Agni, his face was an almost horrifying spectacle. Hollow cheeks, greasy hair, and a singular dark eye-bag threatening to catch the corner of his mouth. Miraculously, the sword wound didn't give much of a scar. Only a faint discoloration, that looked like a cat's graze. 

_Better off_. The size and condition of Zuko's face scar compensated for any other. 

Things got better with time, proper meals, and a decent bath every day, but Zuko thought he'd never be able to forget that day's reflection on the mirror. It was the worst he'd ever seen himself. If he could somehow stand next to his past self, anyone who didn't know him would think they were seeing two different people. 

Apart from Zuko's injury, Katara got around to healing some of his friends' mishaps, such as Takiyo's shoulder hole and Kyra's shattered knuckles. She didn't quite touch on Naoki, for it would have taken days to heal half the broken bones in her body, though she did close up the gash on her leg, left there by the mongoose lizard. 

Naoki and Rei repeatedly tried to offer Katara their remaining money for her and her brother's services, yet she refused, saying she wouldn't be accepting "filthy, Fire Nation currency". 

After that, the group tried to deal with them in the currency of house chores. Rei was decent at cooking, Naoki was surprisingly talented at cleaning, and Takiyo went about fixing almost every chipped piece of wood laying around the house. Kyra attempted to brandish the kitchen knives but after seeing Sokka's apparent concern at her handling of the weapon, she tried to be useful otherwise. She made the siblings a laundry basket from a stack of wheat laying on their front porch. 

Meanwhile, Zuko tried his best not to die, or stumble upon any furniture that Takiyo was fixing while hobbling around to prove he could stand on his own. 

The Yuyan knew they had overstayed their welcome when four days after their arrival, an armor-clad Earth Kingdom Official came to Sokka's and Katara's door, asking for information on the murder and battery of two local soldiers. Zuko had filled the gaps of the story as soon as he'd woken up, and for some reason, the siblings had (reluctantly) believed him, which gave them leeway to expertly evade the officer's questions. 

In midtime, the fugitive guests hid in the bedroom, in case the house was to be inspected. Fortunately, nothing of the sort occurred, and the official departed with a load of beautiful lies filling his head. Zuko felt a pang of guilt, knowing the murders of the soldiers were on him, and they wouldn't be getting justice. Just like Admiral Chan. And the Yuyan who ambushed their escape. Would the Spirits be able to forgive Zuko? Did it even matter at this point?

It was clear from then on that this wouldn't be the last visitor to knock on their door, looking for answers. Hence, after the incident they all started packing whatever few belongings they had, fixed on making the rest of the trip to Ba Sing Se. There was only one tinny little issue.

"How are you planning on crossing the lake?"

Zuko grew still and all eyes fell on him, awaiting a proper answer. 

"Sneak into one of the ferries?" He tried to sound confident but it came out more like a question.

Sokka scoffed, not able to withhold the mocking chuckle that emitted from him.  
"Yeah, why don't you just stuff yourselves in the crates along with the rice cargo for the eight-hour trip, and breathe through a straw?" 

"We're Yuyan," Zuko huffed in response, mildly offended and slightly impressed at how quickly Sokka conceived a more solid plan. "Getting aboard a flimsy boat won't present a challenge, trust me."

"You know, they have guards checking under every rock in that place. Ba Sing Se can barely handle enough refugee's as it is, they can't bother with smugglers as well," Katara critiqued, hands crossed over her chest. 

Zuko sighed, slapping his only remaining clean shirt inside of his pack.  
"In case you haven't noticed, no one has bothered with gifting us first-class tickets, so it's either board illegally or not at all," he said, a tad bit more aggressively than courtesy would allow. Rei glared at him.

"We never said you should legally get aboard..." Katara drawled and shot Sokka an expectant look, to which he caught on rather slowly.

"Katara, _no_."

" _Sokka_ -"

"You're not dragging Sukki into this."

"I didn't say _drag_ her, you can always ask politely. It's for a good cause!"

"Housing fugitives for four days clears my conscious perfectly fine, thank you very much!"

After their usual fighting intervention was over, and Sokka had once again bent to his sister's will, they told Zuko and his friends they could help them secure a spot to the ferry. They didn't confide in them the details of the plan, or who this Sukki person was, no matter how hard Takiyo pushed Sokka during their day-long walk to Full Moon Bay. Naturally, the water tribe boy had grown (almost) immune to Takiyo's spicy charms after staying with him for days, and so he didn't peep a word.

That, of course, didn't stop Takiyo from pressing on, while occasionally remembering to walk straight on the rough road. By the time they reached the bay, Sokka had all but slapped Takiyo's mouth shut, much to everyone's disappointment. 

The cove was unexpectedly huge, fitting a whole sea of refugees that awaited their turns to mount on the ferries. Judging by the size, and the number of people that were aware of its existence, it was a mystery how the Fire Nation still hadn't found the Bay. Zuko only knew of it through Iroh's secret letters to him, once he was still at the palace. The man's description of the stink that permeated the cove, didn't do justice to the real deal. 

When they got there, Sokka spotted one of the Bay's guards through the crowd (Sukki, most likely), and went up to talk to her. For a split second, Zuko feared he would snitch on them, and so his hands landed instinctively on the hilts of his swords, hoisted on his right thigh. His eyes were pinned on Sokka, watching his every move as the boy surprised the guard from behind and took her in a much affectionate embrace. 

"Well fuck," Takiyo sighed, regarding the two of them talk animatedly while smiling. "at least you're still single, right Katara?" 

The girl glared at him, and with a flick of her hand, she made his water satchel burst open, splashing his clean tunic. 

Sukki must have either been head over heels for Sokka or simply owed him her life, because she'd managed to sneak Zuko and his friends five tickets to the next ferry, without so much as a question or a second thought. She might yet have been the first person their group had encountered since they escaped Pohuai that didn't give them a hard time.

Zuko had been preparing his gratitude monologue for a day, at least, and yet when the Bay's bells rang, urging the passengers to board the departing ferry, he stood before Sokka and Katara, seemingly having forgotten how to speak properly. 

He fiddled with his hands, not sure what to do with them.  
"I...I don't know how to thank you-"

"Just make sure your father doesn't turn the Earth Kingdom capital into a firework festival, will you?" Sokka cut him off, casting him a small smile. 

Zuko gulped and genuinely smiled in return.  
"That's the plan."

They watched the two blue-clothed figures become dots in the fleeting horizon from the docks of the ferry. The further away it sailed, the more Zuko felt his heart would jump out of his chest. And no, it wasn't a side effect from intense nausea. Kyra seemed to have that covered, having spent the majority of the trip gripping the iron railing of the docks with such force Zuko thought they might bend. She also refused to eat anything for fear it might end up at the bottom of the ocean. 

Not that there was much to eat, anyway. At some point, there was a soup kitchen down the lower barracks of the ferry, though the Yuyan didn't find the podge served there appetizing. You'd think that after having spent a week of eating only pre-fried doe, they would devour just about everything. That was half-true about Katara's questionable cooking skills, but the ferry's podge was crossing a line they previously hadn't thought existed.

Zuko sat beside the rest of the group in the open deck's silence, playing with the torn piece of paper that held Iroh's address between his fingers. Dark thoughts intruded his mind;  
What if Iroh isn't able to help them get an audience with the military?  
What if he's not _willing_ to? 

A lot of things have happened since he received his letter. Zuko had become a wanted fugitive. He had helped kill people, even if it was a means of survival. What if Iroh had found out and wanted nothing to do with him? What if he thought him equal, or lesser, to the rest of their family's cruelty?

The same thoughts swam in his head through the whole chilly night on the ferry. They followed him onto the thorough interrogation at the immigrant's office and stuck with him past the lengthy train ride to the First Ring of Ba Sing Se.

Now there he was, standing on one of the most crowded streets in the city, staring upon the structure of The Jasmine Dragon. 

"I can't do it," he blurted.

Rei turned to him, furrowed eyebrows scrunching.  
"What do you mean you can't do it? It's right there, just walk. Here, left foot, right foot," he tried to guide Zuko by the arm, but his feet didn't even flinch, as though buried in cement. 

Zuko looked at the people around them, staring discreetly at their scrunchy (but not so dirty) maroon clothes bows and quivers. They judged them silently. Judged him. Could they have known he was the Fire Prince? There wasn't a single poster of the wanted Yuyan across the city but the question lingered in Zuko's mind. Could have Iroh predicted his arrival? What would he think when Zuko walked into his shop? Into his life, even, after eight years of not seeing him? 

"I can't do it. Maybe we can just, y' know, turn around, go find Azula or something? I'm sure she has calmed down since our last encounter. We can just...negotiate and-"

Rei gripped his shoulders and shook him, igniting a powerful memory of the two, right before Zuko ran in the Ranking Trials. That day seemed like a lifetime ago.  
"You're doing it again. You're letting your insecurities into your head."

Zuko felt another hand settle on his back and turned to see Naoki, smiling upon him gently.   
"It will be alright. I'm sure your uncle will be more than happy to see you."

"And what if he isn't?"

What if he calls the City's Officers and have him thrown out of his shop? What if-

"Come on, kid," Takiyo smacked him upside the back of his neck. "Your uncle was the Dragon of the West. A warlord. Then, he got banished from his own palace. I don't think he gives jack shit about you getting your pretty face on a wanted poster. He's probably proud if anything."

That was a fair point. Zuko averted his gaze and it landed on Kyra, seeking her golden eyes for some form of approval. She gave him a firm, confident nod, to which Zuko took a large intake of breath. His feet finally found the strength to move and he mounted the slim marble steps of the tea shop.

"Hello there!" a boy sporting a buzzcut greeted them from the reception. "Table for five?" 

"Actually, I'm looking for the owner, I'm uh...an acquaintance," Zuko coaxed, his own voice betraying him. Unless the cool sweat running down his forehead did that already.

"Oh!" the boy beamed. His smiling face strongly reminded Zuko of Naoki's. The way their eyes lit up was almost identical if you chose to ignore the fact that the boy's irises were colored grey. Peculiar.  
"You wait here, I'll go get mister Mushy. Be right back."

He made a beeline for the kitchens, and only when he disappeared from view did Zuko breathe. His hand absentmindedly gripped the back of a nearby chair while he tried to collect himself. His eyes wandered around the shop trying to find something attention-grabbing, anything really, to keep him from fainting right then and there. 

The interior of the shop was extremely appealing. Extremely Iroh-like. Everything was decorated in green hues, calming to the eye, and the whole place was permeated by the scent of freshly brewed Jasmine tea. Zuko's favorite. His eyes were scheming the silken lanterns on the walls when they fell onto a lonesome figure standing in front of the kitchen entrance.

Zuko's throat shut, no breath coming in or out. All the time and effort he spent calming himself down, was immediately thrown out the window when he saw his uncle. Grey hair tied back in a braid, a matching beard gracing his gentle facial features. 

The tray Iroh carefully held in his hands dropped, the clatter of porcelain inviting the gazes of all the tea shop's customers. 

_Run. Get out_ , a voice in his head screamed. He ignored it.

Zuko took a daring step forward, then another, then another, until he came face to face with his uncle's rigid figure. For the first time in all his years knowing him, Zuko was taller than Iroh by a lot and needed effort to be able to look into his glossy eyes that seemed to be on the brink of tears. 

_Run. Run, run, run, fucking run!_

Before Zuko had the chance to mutter any clumsy words, Iroh stepped over the broken porcelain and wrapped his arms around Zuko's lean figure in the tightest, most bone-crushing hug that left no room for air between their chests. Strangely enough, Zuko was finally able to breathe.

"Welcome, Prince Zuko."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Needed some rewarding angst after the last chapter, honestly. Writing Katara and Sokka into this, even briefly, was fun as hell, and I'm bumped i didn't get to pitch in more dialogue, but ehh. Also! I'm getting my tissues ready for december 7th when the new aot season drops. It's going to be IMMACULATE. I hope my short aot fic will have dropped by then...I don't think I'll have the mental strength to work on it after sobbing my lungs out.


	18. All Apologies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Again, I should apologize for the late update but unfortunately this is going to be a new habit of mine.   
> School has been getting serious, drowning me with work but I'll try to balance things out, promise :)

Zuko could feel his uncle's tears soak through the fabric of the tunic that covered his shoulder. He didn't mind in the slightest, too busy dumping the last bit of physical strength he had onto their hug. He hadn't let anyone get so intimate with him in months. Even when Rei or Naoki tackled Zuko into a forceful embrace, he returned it with a pat on the back, or not at all. Now he was holding onto his uncle as if he'd become dust any moment.

Suddenly, Iroh broke it off and held Zuko at arm's length. His eyes shone, and a familiar grin decorated his aging face while he studied Zuko's grown figure. If he had been bothered by the burn mark on Zuko's left eye, he gave no sign of it.

"Look at you! Spirits, you're a whole man," he beamed and Zuko couldn't help but let out a weak laugh. _Not yet a proper man in the ways that matter_ , he thought.   
"How did you-"

"It's good to see you too, uncle," Zuko replied with a slow nod that promised to explain everything once they got out of the public sight. Their little reunion had caught quite the attention of the people around the shop. The good, affectionate kind of attention, but it was still unwanted if Zuko wanted to elaborate on his escape.

Iroh immediately caught on the gesture and turned to acknowledge the prying eyes of the customers.  
"Everyone, order whatever you please, it's on the house...my nephew is home." 

Cheers erupted from the crowd, not necessarily because they were glad a stranger had returned to his family. Free tea was always a reason to celebrate, even more so when it was made in Ba Sing Se's finest tea shop.

With a shake of his head, Zuko washed away the sentimental feelings, making an opening for his companions to step closer. Naoki was whipping away a few tears from her scarred cheek, and Takiyo was pretending he didn't feel the need to do the same. 

"Uncle, these are Rei, Naoki, Takiyo, and Kyra," Zuko said, pointing accordingly. They each cast a little greeting smile, except for Kyra who gave a small, somewhat stiff wave. "They helped me, uh...find my way here."

Iroh's eyeballs looked just about ready to pop out of his sockets. Zuko, who as a child would only hang around kids his age when obliged, had made friends in a military camp. And he was introducing them, with what someone could describe as pride. What a strange sight. 

"Pleased to meet you, sir," Takiyo smiled.

Iroh waved his hand in dismissal at the formal agreement and ushered them all to the back of the shop, making sure the company's heavy weaponry went unnoticed.   
"Oh, the pleasure is all mine. I never thought I'd see the day Zuko would introduce me to his friends! Come on inside, we have a lot to talk about." 

He led them through a small door that hid a twisted metal staircase. It curved upwards towards what could only be Iroh's apartment. Zuko recognized the address carved on the door from the letter's torn piece. The apartment's atmosphere was no different than the tea shop's. It drew the visitors in as if it was permeated with a familiar, homey smell. For Zuko, it was as familiar as it gets. Even the rest of the Yuyan, who'd been hesitant on their way up the staircase, visibly relaxed once inside the luminous place. 

Iroh sighed while making his way into the small kitchen, no doubt about to make some tea. Zuko followed him, eagerly taking a seat on one of his uncle's chairs. He found it amusing how his friends were suddenly mindful of their manners, pacing and shifting their weight in weariness. He nodded for them to get closer. 

"So," Iroh breathed, fumbling with a burning pot. "Tell me everything."

Zuko's hand flew on the back of his neck, scratching the growing hair in a nervous gesture. His eyes flickered towards his friends who gave him confident nods in unison. He could do this. Right?  
"Before I get to how we left Pohuai, I need to tell you why."

His uncle raised his brows in question, movements slowing and entering a confused state. The scroll case slid off Zuko's soldier on his command, and he opened it up to reveal its contents. His handling was extremely careful, fueled by the thought of everything they had gone through to get these scrolls into the city. 

Zuko set the scrunched up scroll on the kitchen table, and let his inviting eyes do the talking. Some imagery would sure help explain to the man before him how his brother, Zuko's father, was planning to set the world ablaze. Iroh used to be a general. One of the best, to be precise. If there was anyone who could read warfare scrolls, it was him. And by the horrified look he adopted as he schemed through the large papers, he understood perfectly well what this was about. Each turning of the page became more hasted, each breath became more ragged. Zuko could see his own reaction through Iroh's face. 

"When?" Was all his uncle said when he made it to the last paper, something amid terror and disgust swimming in his eyes. 

"Two weeks. The day of Sozin's Comet." Zuko replied and watched Iroh's hand cover his mouth. The otherwise welcoming air of his home had just turned undeniably suffocating. 

The more seconds passed without Iroh saying anything, the bigger the bile on Zuko's throat got. Granted, he had just dropped a wagon on the old man, but the silence wasn't doing great things on Zuko's nerves. If anything, it chopped them up and made his leg bounce in nervousness.

"This is why I came," he said, making Iroh's eyes lift from the papers. "When we found out, we made an escape for Ba Sing Se. I-I would have gone home, and stood my ground- I was planning to!- but father cut me off, he...he left me no choice." 

A hundred flaws inside the plan Zuko and his friends had been working on for months, had just now appeared in his head. He blew a heavy sigh, getting increasingly worried that Iroh would cut him off the same way. 

He wouldn't blame him if he did. Zuko hadn't seen Iroh in almost ten years and when the two finally reunited, he brings the horrors of their family right along with him. The same family whose grasp Iroh has been trying to escape all those years. And what a good job he'd done. Truly. He had built a life for himself here. A good life, one that was tailor-made for him. Was Zuko's arrival going to destroy that?

"Pardon my intrusion sir," Rei's voice caught the attention of both Zuko and Iroh. "we made all this way hoping we can put a stop to these plans by warning the Earth King, and Zuko said you could help with that...might I ask how?"

Zuko's head snapped back to Iroh. He could feel the very blood pumping in his veins.  
"You still have your contacts to the White Lotus, don't you? They could help, right?"

_You'll help, right? Please say you'll help, or this was all for nothing. I can't let them down again._

A tired sigh escaped Iroh's lips, which made Zuko realize how much he'd really aged.   
"They could if I get a message to them in time." 

The group's faces broke into identical smiles of relief. Zuko felt a weight lift from his shoulders. The weight of the world, which he's been carrying for weeks now. It had started to gnaw at his insides, feed into his fears and insecurities. And just like that...it was gone. Zuko knew no better feeling than pure relief.

"But that only settles the city's defense, if that," Iroh was quick to disrupt their celebration, and rightfully so. "What are you planning to do about your father."

Zuko knew it would come down to that. It was only a matter of time. Yet he had found an answer to that question, and he was sticking with it.   
"Fight him. Make sure he has no right to go near the throne again."

A more than risky claim, Zuko was aware of that. Surprise painted itself across Iroh's features. Understandably, he didn't expect this much certainty from Zuko, whose face still bore a reminder of the last time he had dueled his father. He'd most likely always bare the mark, if not on his skin, then certainly in memory. There was no escaping what Zuko had suffered. The way he had bowed down, crying, sobbing, was forever carved into his brain.   
  
This time, there would be no bowing, no tears, no screaming apologies. There was not an ounce of respect Zuko held towards his father to stop him from standing up to face him, and the whole world could watch.   
This time he would fight back.

Iroh visibly tensed at the darkness that consumed Zuko's expression.  
"Prince Zuko, are you-"

"Yes, I'm sure. More sure than I've been about anything else."

Iroh nodded slowly and packed up the scrolls back in their case. He settled his intertwined hands on the table, firmly. A ghost of a smile played on his lips and something more than that. Pride?

"Let's get to work then."

*  
A note was sent out to Iroh's contacts on the White Lotus. In brevity, it explained the current events, newfound information, and a request for an audience with the city's General. The messenger was sworn to the utmost secrecy, and above all, haste. He had met Iroh and the Yuyan at the tea shop, the same night, and had disappeared into the rain shortly after, with the note buried in his tunic.

Zuko liked the rain. 

On the Fire Nation, most days were accompanied by heat and infuriating humidity. And then there were the few, rare occasions when the scorch was paired with refreshing rain. Those were Zuko's favorite days. He'd wake up and the smell of the Garden's damp grass would fill his nostrils. The sun's presence would be gently hidden by swirling, grey clouds, allowing only a handful of rays to pick through. Everything seemed to be cleansed, born anew.

That being said, Zuko didn't like the rain in Ba Sing Se.

There was no grass to be damped in this concrete jungle. The clouds that ruled the sky were so dark, it made the monochrome pattern of the houses all the more depressing. No sun rays grazed the surface of the earth at this time of night. Nothing about it was refreshing. Nothing could cleanse Zuko's dark mood.

There was only the "ding" of the water droplets hitting the metal railing of Iroh's balcony. Zuko found it to be extremely annoying and thought about melting the railing beneath his hands. Yet he stayed on the balcony anyway. He stayed and dawdled at the far off flashes of lightning that fell beyond the inner ring of the city. Pure white against the midnight blue. 

It's been such a long time since he'd seen nature wield so powerful a lightning, he had almost forgotten that Azula wasn't its creator. At their last encounter, he was lucky enough not to be reminded how his sister could easily surpass nature's power.

He'd once asked Naoki what it felt like to be hit by lightning. She had laughed at him, which caused a scowl to appear on his face. 

"You don't feel much at all," she'd said when her snicker died down. "maybe for a fragment of a second when it hits you, you feel...a shock? But then nothing. Your heart will probably stop. And if you make it out alive, well..." she paused and gestured at herself. "you still feel nothing."

In some ways Naoki was lucky. She was free of the paralyzing fear born through the mere thought of pain. Zuko hated that he could still feel that kind of fear. What was he so scared of? Are there really any levels of pain he has yet to experience? Or has he just been through it all, and can only repeat it? He would get his answer in two weeks.

His senses picked up a presence at the balcony's doorway. A quiet presence, most definitely a Yuyan. Takiyo wouldn't bother to sneak up on him, Naoki would probably break two vases and a teacup on her way to the balcony, and Rei was too good of a shadow walker for Zuko to feel his presence. So that left-

"Kyra," Zuko acknowledged her with a look over his shoulder. She was leaning on the frame, hands crossed over her chest. It eerily reminded Zuko of the first time she'd caught them on the Watch Tower. Many lifetimes ago, it seemed.

"I wanted to get some air. Can't sleep," she confessed and took her place next to him, hands propped on the metal railing. She stared out into the city, just like how Zuko was doing moments before. The city lights shone so brightly it made the sky seem starless.

Suddenly Zuko's hands felt itchy as if he didn't know where or how to place them. His mind went back and forth between wanting to start a conversation and wishing to sit in comfortable silence. Upon seeing Kyra's relaxed stance, he decided to mimic it, in hopes she wouldn't pick up his awkwardness. He turned forward to the view, while his gaze occasionally flickered to the girl next to him, and her seemingly perfect side profile.

"I haven't properly apologized to you," his voice suddenly betrayed him. He saw Kyra turn her head but didn't dare do the same. "The night before the Eclipse-"

"You don't have to apologize for anything," she cut him off, rather abruptly. 

Now he did turn around. He rotated his whole body to face hers and was pleased to see that her expression didn't match the abruptness in her voice.

"No, I do," he started again, praying that the scramble of words inside his head would arrange itself into something decent. "I talked to Rei right after I woke up, and we settled things, right before he nearly sent me back to the grave with a hug. Then, I tried to apologize to Takiyo but he acted like he didn't even remember us fighting, so I guess we're good, and then Naoki attempted to shut me up by shoving a soap bar into my face when I said I was sorry. You're the only one I haven't properly spoken to about our fight, and I just wanted to say...I'm sorry. Truly sorry, about what I said."

If Kyra's shocked expression was any indication, Zuko had fucked up his apology somewhere along the way. Widened golden eyes and a gaping mouth never meant anything good. Before he had the chance to stammer another apology, Kyra spoke first.

"Thank you," she said, offering the tiniest of tight-lipped smiles. It was enough for Zuko to feel as though he was stabbed all over again. "And um...I'm also sorry. I said some awful, shitty things to you, which should never be spoken among friends."

_Friends_. Huh...talk about being mentally stabbed. 

Nevertheless, Zuko offered his best impression of a friendly smile. Deep down, beyond his bruised pride, it felt like a genuine smile.   
"This is the first time in my life when I had to issue apologies. Spoiled, stubborn princeling and everything," he made an attempt at a joke, and fortunately, Kyra hummed a quiet laugh. 

She turned her body away from the railing and they came face to face. Zuko had been living under the illusion that he was taller than Kyra, by a lot. The last time they stood like this, the two of them were knee-deep into a running river. Though now, Zuko seemed to be taller only by a few unruly hairs. 

"I think your stubbornness more often serves as an advantage rather than a flaw. When you put your mind to something, I've come to realize there's no universal force capable of stopping you from doing it. Apparently not even death," she let out a smiling huff. "It's one of the things I admire most about you."

And the imaginary knife twists. 

A second passed of Zuko staring blankly at Kyra as if his mind was empty when really it was brimming with thoughts and no way to give them life. Out of all the things he could say or do, his non-cooperative body chose the stupidest one and worded it with a ridiculous stutter.

"Y-You admire me?"

Agni, how he wished to kick himself. He decided against it, for if the moment wasn't already ruined, he would surely destroy it when he'd start cursing and pulling his hair. Things were never this difficult with Mai. Or maybe they were and Zuko selectively forgot about it.

Kyra tilted her head, somehow indicating the answer to his question was an obvious one. But how could it be obvious? How could anyone admire Zuko, after he kept messing up, again and again? How could Kyra, one of the most collected and mature people he'd known, praise his stubbornness? And why can't he just take the damn compliment without feeling like his stomach was practicing acrobatics? 

"For what it's worth, I believe you're an admirable soldier. And perhaps you'll be an even better Firelord."

_Trust me, it's worth a lot._

At some point, one of them must have moved, because Zuko had suddenly grown aware of their dangerously close proximity and he wanted to squeal. He discovered that faint yellow lighting complemented Kyra's dark skin best. It even made her hair appear smoother than usual. Zuko felt the need to run his fingers through it and...and then what?

The sound of rain and far off thunder started fading into the background until he couldn't hear it anymore. Was it him that was unconsciously drawing nearer? Tilting his head? Fluttering his eyes closed? Breathing and a-

"Zuko, I- whoa what the fuck!" Takiyo froze at the balcony's doorway, his wide eyes jumping between Zuko and Kyra, who had jolted back and redefined an appropriate distance.

Un-fucking-believable.

"Yes, Chopstick?" Zuko tried to conceal the gritting of his teeth.

"Oh, so we're not going to talk about-" Takiyo gestured at the space between them with an envelope in his hand. No one moved and he cleared his throat. "okay, fine! I just um...the sketchy looking dude from earlier came back downstairs, and told us to give you this."

Takiyo extended his hand, giving Zuko the envelope that was trapped between two of the boy's slender fingers. Zuko tore the paper open with hasty movements, not even bothering to read the inscription, while he was mourning the loss of a great moment. He felt Kyra's and Takiyo's eyes burn on the side of his face. He pulled out a small note and his eyes sped through the lines, widening as they went.

"Ba Sing Se has joined the war."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! Despite me absolutely loving the "corrupt police system that brainwashes citizens" subplot of Ba Sing Se, I couldn't find a satisfactory way of fitting it into this fic's plot. That doesn't really mean the Dai Lee are going to be helpful though, 'cause where's the fun in that? But yeah, consider this AU Ba Sing Se where they are a bit bitchy but dont commit democracy crimes.   
> Also, yes, I may or may not have become addicted to going back and forth between Kyra and Zuko. I shall not apologize.


	19. Mirror, Mirror

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year everyone! Here's my gift :)  
> Lots of things to unpack here, can't wait to see everyone's reactions

Zuko never thought he'd finZuko never thought he'd find himself standing outside Ba sing se's palace. If he had, he would imagine his father and sister at his side, with the world burning around the three of them as a Fire Nation emblem was rolled over the Earth kingdom banner, hanging above the gates.

He certainly didn't think he would be dressed in a green attire too big on his slimmed-down figure, and with four former Yuyan accompanying him on his way up the stairs.

On the top of that, torturously long staircase stood a group of Ba sing se's elite military force. They called themselves Dai Lee, and if memory served Zuko right, they were the finest of Earth Benders. Funny, he thought. The most dangerous bunch of each Nation, conducting a peaceful meeting at the entrance of the Earth King's palace.   
Peaceful was just a word, though, and it wasn't fit to describe the look on the Dai Lee leader's face. A woman with jet black hair messily combed out of her brow, watched Zuko and his friends intently with a sower frown. By the time the Yuyan had gotten to the top, face to face with the Dai Lee, Zuko had noticed the woman's eyes weren't necessarily locked on him...or at anything for that matter. They were a misty grey, seemingly transparent, and a heavy reminder of what Zuko's left iris was becoming. He connected the dots and came to a conclusion; she was blind.

"I would say welcome, but you are not, so let's get this over with," she sighed and with an abrupt flick of her hand turned her two metal bracelets into a pair of handcuffs fitted straight onto Zuko's wrist.

He lifted his intertwined hands to take a look at his restraints. Titanium, he figured, as soon as he raised the temperature of his skin and saw no reddening on the metal. He couldn't melt through this even if he tried for hours. Smart.

"I thought our message specified we were coming in peace..." Zuko gritted out as he saw the rest of the Yuyan being fitted regular handcuffs. His eyes flitted to Kyra, more on instinct rather than will, but he looked away before she had the chance to catch him checking on her.

At the sound of his voice, the woman's foggy eyes widened in surprise. The action seemed manual, something she must have been taught to perform, in order to express surprise.  
"Wh- You're actually a fucking kid?"

A soldier behind her coughed into his fist to get her attention.  
"Chief Beifong-"

"They told me you were young, almost childlike but I assumed it was a polite way of saying you're short, or stupid. I didn't expect them to send a fucking twelve-year-old."

"Chief-"

"Are you even going to help us fight if it's past your bedtime?"

" _Chief Beifond!_ " the soldier finally asserted dominance with a pointed yell and his chief snapped her head in his direction, as if just now noticing he was calling her.   
"I would argue that offending the Prince is not a pleasant way to start off our alliance... plus, the boy is seventeen, he's hardly a child at this point."

The Beifong woman huffed in dismissal and turned on her heel, expecting the rest of the order to follow close behind.   
"Even my voice sounded deeper than that when I was seventeen..."

One of her soldiers paused to take the planning scroll out of Naoki's bound hands. Fortunately, he handled it with care, or else he would have had to endure Rei's pointed glare for longer than necessary. 

No one paid mind to Zuko's fuming figure. Either that or they just didn't care that they had enerved him.

Walking down the Earth King's Palace hall while in chains was definitely a humiliating experience. Still, the Yuyan didn't dare mutter a word against it, knowing full well that keeping those cuffs was a token of goodwill on their end. One that would hopefully make negotiations slide a lot more smoothly. Plus, they were wanted fugitives, after all.

The military chamber was much too different than the one back at Zuko's palace. Instead of a rectangular floor table, there was a round one, housing seats for plenty of soldiers. Everything was messier, from the maps and outlines to the way the soldiers sat and even their appearances. The biggest difference though was the absence of a Fire Lord, or in this case, a King. Even if the ruler was present, he'd have to sit amongst his soldiers, since there was no higher throne anywhere in the room. Peculiar, but none of the Yuyan commented on it. It appeared as though they all had a silent agreement to play nice.

"These, are the legendary Yuyan?" a young voice questioned in almost mockery. 

Zuko trailed his gaze over the soldiers and zeroed it on the owner of the voice. A boy with bronze skin and tousled mop-like hair leaned against his chair with some kind of wheat hanging out of his mouth. His legs were crossed atop the planning table, an instant indicator he was a non-bender. An Earthbender would have his feet planted on the ground firmly as the rest of them did. For the boy to be this young and have won a seat at the King's table, he must be exceptionally skilled. 

Low classman too, if the way his eyes shamelessly raked over the Yuyan's bodies were any proof of it. Despite the pointed glares he received from them, he continued his rant.

"I must say, I expected something...I don't know...scarier? But then again, you are Fire Nation so deceit runs in your veins."

Takiyo was quick to backfire.  
"And I expected some sense of professionalism but then again, you are Earth citizens, so Savoir Vivre must be a strange concept-"

"Who do you think you're talking to-"

The Chief banged the scroll case on the round table, making the boy retract his legs and sit properly.   
"Put a sock in it, will you Jet? You're not the only one here who doesn't like fire scum, but I'm not hearing anyone else bitching about it."

Jet clicked his tongue but shut his mouth nonetheless. The entourage of the table all leaned above the laid out scrolls, scheming over them with their fingers and mumbling incoherent words of approval. Some seemed impressed, others terrified, and the occasional few just looked very skeptical. 

"Hello??" The Chief suddenly shouted and waved an aggressive hand over her face. "Will someone do the fucking courtesy of reading this out loud?" 

The apologetic soldier from the entrance smiled awkwardly and took one of the scrolls in his hands.   
"Yes, ma'am, of course. Twenty airships, each holding a crew of roughly thirty people, twenty of whom are able benders. The course is set for...the inner ring."

"Material and mechanism?"

"Steel and steam-movement, ma'am."

A pregnant pause followed, during which Zuko shot a sidelong look at Rei. He shook his head slowly, a gesture for Zuko to remain silent for now. His wrists shifted around his handcuffs, itching to pick the skin around his fingers, yet unable to.

"I propose a troop of twenty metal benders," Jet quipped, looking to meet the chief's face. Some of his fellow soldiers nodded in agreement, but she kept her head tilted down, hand on her chin. "Set them on the walls of the outer ring and they can demolish the airships before they even cross the border."

"You shouldn't do that."

All heads turned to Zuko, wondering who gave him the right to voice an opinion. Those looks brought back a lot of memories, some of which caused a series of shivers to trail down his spine. He shook them off. No one would dare touch him this time. 

"Excuse you?"

"I said you shouldn't do it," he took a step forward, voice raising in confidence. "Even if you do manage to tare the airships before they come close enough, which you won't, given the fact that the heat of the comet's power will boil you, that will stop nothing. Do you think the Firelord will hesitate to send another fleet for you to slaughter? Then another? Trust me, he won't. You need a more permanent solution."

Zuko expected a reaction. An order, for him to shut his mouth. A question of his loyalty. A reprimanding yell, perhaps. Something. Anything that would seek to take his voice away. Something to drown him in silence.

Instead, he was met with expectant looks and an air of curiosity. The chief raised an eyebrow at him. Again, the gesture felt mechanic and somewhat intimidating.  
"Keep talking, manchild. Do you have a better plan?"

Zuko hadn't realized his whole body was visibly shaking until he felt Rei's shackled hand land on his shoulder to stable him. He gave Zuko a reassuring smile, the kind he would cast him after a decent shot. _You did good, princeling._

"We all have," he said and stepped forward. Upon approaching the table, some of the other soldiers shrank in Rei's presence, despite being bigger in physique. As if slipping on a mask, he had become a fearsome Lieutenant again, playing right at his element. Strategics.

"First and foremost, you need to get the unable population out of the city, at least the first ring. Whether we achieve victory or not, the dense areas will be caught in the crossfire. Better the houses and markets rather than kids and elders." 

"We can evacuate them through the old catacomb tunnels," the Chief's second in command chirped. "That way it can be done quietly and by few numbers as to not raise havoc."

"At least we have someone who'll spare a thought for the weaklings," the Chief nodded. "What about the fleet."

Rei jabbed a finger to the ink-filled scrolls, pointing at the royal airship.  
"We take the Firelord's ship out, and we lure the rest into the narrowness of the city, where you have the upper hand. Royal protocol prescribes that the Princess will reside on a different airship in case of an accident. You'll know which one when it starts heading for the Palace..." his finger moved to the map of Ba Sing Se, pointing at the very heart of the city. "Friendly word of advice, do not underestimate Azula. If anything, she's the real threat to your freedom, not the Firelord."

"Let's assume everything goes according to plan and you bring down the Fire Lord's ship. Then what? We pray to the spirits that he doesn't survive the fall?" Jet questioned, eyes judgemental.

"He will survive, and we're counting on it," Zuko stepped beside Rei, holding his back as straight as possible. "Killing the Firelord and demolishing his troops will only rile up the people to engage in more violence. Both of our people. Ending the war means shifting the power in reliable hands-"

"Which I assume are yours?" Jet mused.

Zuko's eyes narrowed at the interruption, choosing to be civil.  
"I am here cooperating with your government, instead of planning to burn it to the ground, aren't I? That's all the liability you need."

"And how are you planning to take the throne? I don't believe your daddy will be down for a chill cup of tea and negotiations?" The chief cut in.

"Agni Kai." The very pronunciation of the words seemed to lower the temperature of the room. "One between the crown Prince and the Fire Lord would determine the owner of the throne, for life."

"What makes you think he'll accept your challenge?"

"The Kai is sacred. It's a call to defend your honor and witnessed by Agni themselves. Refusing the challenge would be blasphemy."

"And killing innocents isn't?" Jet bit and earned himself an elbow to the stomach by the Chief's second. It was about time, honestly. Then again, Zuko was somewhat grateful for his ill-tempered comments, for they broke the chilling atmosphere of the room.

"Well then, it seems like you've done your homework, manchild. If it weren't for my drowning in sourness, I'd admit I'm impressed." 

_Impressed._ No matter how passive, the compliment made Zuko's chest puff a little bit broader. 

"But it's not enough. In case you lose the fight, which is a very real possibility," the chief said amid a sigh while looking over Zuko's frame. "we need some sort of guarantee. A backup plan."

"If I lose, that means every hope you ever had of ending the war in justice, dies with me. In which case, I'll be too preoccupied to care whether you choose to slaughter each other or not. In other words, if I lose, I give you full permission to execute any plan you desire."

The grin that crossed the Chief's face sent a series of shivers down Zuko's core, even though she wasn't directly looking at him. Maybe that was why.

Takiyo threw his head back in exasperation.  
"Finally! I take this as a settlement of peace so-" On cue, he jerked his wrists and his handcuffs cracked open. A hairpin remained in his hand, which he then stuck back into his bun.

Simultaneously, Naoki snapped the bones of her two thumbs inwards, now able to slip off the cuffs with ease, and Kyra chose a more brute approach, simply snapping the thin chain that connected the cuffs against her knee. The two pairs of metal restraints fell onto the floor with a loud clank, while Kyra was forced to sport hers like bracelets. 

Everyone's eyes were on them, decorated with either an impressed, scared, or surprised glint, except for Rei's, whose face was buried in his still cuffed hands. Zuko almost laughed at how obvious the Lieutenant's need to start cussing was, and the way he was holding himself back, was even more hilarious.

His eyes hopped on the planning table, where the city's map laid. With tentative movements his hand reached for the bowl of tiny decorative flags, taking one between his index and thumb and pinning it at the outer wall.

He could do this. 

* * *

"I can't do this..." he heaved before another wave of vomit reached his mouth and he leaned over the bucket. 

Someone would think that after three rows of puking, his stomach would be empty by now. Guess not.

Naoki was kneeled next to him, rubbing comforting circles on his back while he turned himself inside-out.   
"I think you're pushing him too hard," she muttered and gave Zuko a cloth to clean himself up.

"On the contrary, I think we're pushing too lightly," Kyra said, going to stand next to a skeptical Iroh, hand threading his beard. "The only way out of the forest is through. He has to face his fear of firebending head-on."

Rei tsked in disagreement.  
"That's what he's been trying to do all day and the only thing he's facing is the bottom of that bucket..."

There they went again, talking about him as though he wasn't in the room. That's what he gets for being the youngest. And the most stubborn. Two months ago he would have snapped a yell about how everyone should stop treating him as a child. Right now though, he merely sat on the floor, listening attentively to his patronizing friends. After all, they were right. He couldn't keep going like this.

But he must.

"I'll try again," He grunted at an attempt to sit up, but immediately plopped back on his arse with a push from Takiyo's firm hand. 

"Take it easy Princey, you deserve a break."

"Why should you get to train when not only a week ago you were basically dragging yourselves around from fatigue?" he questioned, self-righteousness tugging at his words. "Takiyo barely had a functioning shoulder up until three days ago and you let him spent the day at the Dai Lee's barracks, shooting arrows!"

"Let him?" Rei scoffed and pointed a lazy finger at Takiyo's face, where a black bruise decorated his cheekbone. "Do you think he got that mark in training?"

Takiyo's lips broke into a sinister smile.  
"It's a wonder how you're still breathing after spoiling my money-making face, Shorty."

A firm hand-clap from Iroh broke their bickering and gained everyone's attention.  
"Could I have a word alone with my nephew please?" 

After exchanging a couple of curious looks, the Yuyan bowed their respects and showed themselves out of the apartment, probably heading down to the teashop. With the much-needed solitude, Iroh's expression turned grim as he sat across from Zuko. 

"I can do it, uncle, I promise. Just let me try-"

He lifted a hand, stopping Zuko's rambling mid-way. Zuko's eyes were downcast, mentally preparing for the awaited scolding.  
"It's neither your form, nor your technique, nor your focus that's the problem. It's your headspace. You are clearly unbalanced, and understandably so. The last few months must have been quite the titan wave for you. Alas, you cannot continue training your body until you've trained your mind."

Zuko feared it would come to this. He thought he had suppressed his horror of firebending far into the back of his head, where it could never see light again. He hadn't. That became perfectly clear when Iroh sent the first fire blast in his way and Zuko froze in terror. Variations of the same scene played out the next fifteen times Iroh performed that move, aiming at Zuko's face. 

His body he could handle. He could run and fold and do push-ups until Rei had finished eating his noodle soup with an infuriating pace. He could train to his limits, break himself, and built him back up just so he could run some extra laps. He could train his body. But his mind? That was another issue entirely. 

"Lucky for us, I know just the person who can help!"

It was amazing how fast his uncle had learned to slip on a pleasant mask. In just a few seconds his face had rid of the serious facade and adopted a new one, much more positive and resourceful. It used to intrigue Zuko as a kid, made him wonder what was Iroh like when he was alone, when he thought no one was watching. Did he hold that same, optimistic stance? Eight years later and Zuko still doesn't know. 

Iroh was always unreadable. Not just to Zuko, but to everyone around him it seemed. Still, Zuko prided himself on having unlocked some of the old man's mysteries. For having somewhat understood his way of thinking and the meaning behind some of his ridiculous proverbs. 

Now, however, as Zuko stood before the kid with the buzzcut that worked in customer service at the Jasmine dragon...he had no idea what on earth Iroh was thinking.

"You think your waiter can teach me...how to be spiritually balanced. Your kid-waiter."

"I'm actually fourteen, so technically, not a kid anymore." the boy in question chirped, not taking any offense. 

"This is Aang," Iroh introduced with a pleasant smile. "He grew up in a monastery, and is the closest thing you'll get to a spiritual leader in this situation, so best of luck to you." 

Zuko gawked while watching Iroh leave the apartment with jumpy, cheerful steps. That left him alone with said smiling Aang, and many...many confusing thoughts. Great. Now what?

"So, what's your deal, are you going to have me meditate until I starve or get me to balance candles on my nose, 'cause I can assure you, I'm proficient in both."

The boy let a giggle escape him at that but quickly collected himself.  
"That sounds impressive but no, I had something else in mind..." He took a step closer and showcased his palms. "Do I have permission to sense your chakras?" 

Zuko blinked at the question. Judging by the gesture, what Aang was really asking for was permission to touch Zuko. He wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea, but one must make sacrifices for spirituality. The heads-up was appreciated.   
"Uh...sure? Just- Don't touch the scar, you know."

Aang shook his head in affirmation and carefully placed two pointed fingers at Zuko's forehead, then his abdomen, then his lower stomach. For some reason, Zuko found himself unable to move through the whole process. He had witnesses chi-blocking before, but this was different. Aang hadn't ridden any of his muscles. He had simply stunned Zuko. whether it was on purpose or not, remained unknown. 

With a low hum, Aang stepped away, hand supporting his chin.   
"It seems that your earth and Fire chakras are blocked, reasonably so," he said and took a cross-legged seat. 

"Cool, what's that supposed to mean?" 

"Well, the Earth and Fire chakra deal with survival and willpower and are blocked by fear and shame, respectfully. Which takes us to my next point; to unlock them, you need to dig deep into your most fearful and shameful memory-"

" _No,_ " Zuko interrupted him but made no effort to stand up and leave.

There was no need to dig that deep. The Agni Kai was the moment Aang was describing. There would be no other time during Zuko's life where he'd reach the level of fear and shame he felt on that day. Revisiting that day sounded like a living nightmare. 

Aang smiled softly and tilted his head.   
"I know it sounds scary, but in order for you to up your chances of winning, you'll need to have a clear head and balanced spirit."

"Is there no other way?" Zuko sighed. "You know, one that would not require me to go through immense psychological strain, perhaps?"

"I'm afraid not. Spirituality is not always sunshine and rainbows." 

Funny how Aang said that while grinning. If Zuko was mute, he would have guessed Aang had just announced some excellent news, judging by his expression alone. People like Aang and Naoki who are constantly smiling make Zuko wonder if their cheeks get tired. 

"Fine," he threw up his hands."A traumatic mental journey it is..."

Aang's smile split into a shit-eating grin as he rotated his body to take a proper meditating position. Zuko copied his movements and took a ridiculously deep breath, trying to calm the twitching of his limbs. His eyes fluttered closed.

"I'm going to guide you through your experience and make sure to pull you out if I sense things are becoming overbearing for you," Aang promised, and for some reason, Zuko visibly relaxed. 

He drowned out the white noise of the room, the way he was manually taught how from when he was a kid. For a moment, he thought back to the poison endurance class back in Pohuai but quickly shut out the irrelevant thought. He needed to focus. A couple of steady breaths later, he felt ready to start thinking about that dreadful memory. 

"I want you to start telling me about your chose moment. What did you do that day?" a bodiless voice asked him. 

Zuko felt his scar ache but he ignored it. By now he had learned to tell phantom pain and real ache apart. This was just an illusion. He needed to focus.   
"I...I was woken up by a servant at the crack of dawn. They helped me tie my armbands and gave me a silk robe to conceal myself while making our way to the arena."

The words seemed to roll out of Zuko's mouth in their own accord, brain going on auto-pilot. At this point, flitting images of his unscathed self looking in the mirror passed before him. He tried to catch them, latch onto the memories, until he was in a deep enough trance. The smell of freshly cut grass coming in through his window, the feeling of silk, covering his back, the pitiful glances the servant kept tossing him as they walked down the red-carpeted hall.

Zuko was there once again.

"Then what?"

"They told me to enter the Agni Kai chamber..." Zuko swallowed the lump in his throat. Along with the images now came distant sounds. A faint chanting, surrounding his crouched body.  
"I crouched down, waiting for my opponent to enter the ring. I expected to meet a General but..." 

He could sense the cool marble beneath the fabric of his pants. The heat of the surrounding torches warmed the back of his neck. When he made notice of the other presence in the ring and the chanting intensified, he prepared himself to turn around. 

He threw the cape off his shoulders, but that's as far as the gesture of bravery went. As soon as he'd turned around, he fell back onto his knees in a formal bow. He didn't even get to catch a glimpse of his opponent's face before he buried his own between his outstretched hands, staring at the floor. 

_I can't do this._

"Zuko, calm your breathing," the boy's voice spoke, holding a concerned edge to it. 

He hadn't even noticed he was hyperventilating until he was told to breathe properly. More than that he was crying. He was paralyzed in fear, and could only watch his plethora of tears trickling down his face and falling onto the marble. His fingers tensed, wanting to dig onto the ground, his chest heaved. 

_I can't do this._

"Father please," he sobbed and made note of how his voice sounded different than last time. Deeper, more frightened. This time he knew the outcome, and no amount of hoping against hope could change it. 

"Look up, Zuko."

He froze. Those were not the words his father had spoken to him on that day. More importantly, it was not even the voice of his father that spoke them. It was his own. 

Eyes bulging out of their sockets, he raised his shaking head to meet the sight of his opponent. 

Looming over his kneeling figure, staring down at him in disgust was....himself. 

It was a different version of Zuko. One dressed in full Firelord regalia, with a mane of well-kept long hair, and a face free of any scars. Α sly grin played on his lips that made Zuko want to recoil in disgust. The mere act of looking at him felt like staring into a deceitful mirror. 

_'Who are you?'_ seemed like a ridiculous question at the moment. So Zuko opted for the next best replacement. 

"What are you?" he asked and observed the freezing glint that danced in the Mirror's golden eyes. 

The smirk split into a blinding grin, dripping in arrogance and amusement.   
"I'm the son our father always wanted."

The Mirror didn't give Zuko the chance to process that statement, and instead blasted away where he stood. Zuko rolled out of the way swiftly and hopped to his feet, still dumbfounded at what was occurring. He steadied his footing and got to a proper fighting stance. His rival didn't bother to do so, waltzing about the fighting ring as though he was strolling on the beach, red cape following close behind. 

The Mirror tsked and shook his head as if disappointed in Zuko.  
"All those years of training and you still opt for running away from fire instead of deflecting in like a real bender."

Another blast came Zuko's way, and although he expected it, he chose to play on the defense yet again. He decided it wasn't wise to attack...whatever that thing was before fully processing the situation. For a moment, the Mirror didn't attack either and chose to entertain Zuko's defensive behavior. The two had fallen into sideways steps, circling each other in a never-ending game of cat and mouse. Zuko had to figure out how to stop being the mouse. 

He took a moment to analyze the face- no, his face- staring back at him. The uncanny resemblance unsettled Zuko in a way words couldn't do it justice. He was almost jealous of the Mirror's clear face, the devious glint in his eyes, the air of confidence on his step. He shook his head free of the sickening thought. 

It was a test. That much was obvious. Aang said he had to face the most shameful and fearful moment of his life, and make his peace with it. Fighting an upgraded version of himself wasn't exactly what he thought this meant.

"Aang!" he bellowed, voice echoing in the empty chamber. "I think this a good time for you to play Spiritual guide and spiritually guide me out of here!" 

No answer came other than the Mirror's heartful laugh.   
"And here I thought you'd rather die in a pit of snakes rather than admit you need help from anyone. Since when did you start relying on others to get you out of your messes?"

Zuko's jaw clenched, his fists tightened.  
"Since I found people I can rely on."

The Mirror sneered.   
_"Pathetic."_

It was Zuko who initiated the attack this time, and the Mirror welcomed it. He dove forward, fire dagger blazing against his hand. He heard the small sound of flame burning against clothing when the Mirror deflected his attack with a calculated twirl. His own daggers followed, and when the both of them had exchanged places, Zuko felt something hot drip down his cheek. 

He raised a hand to his face and drew in a sharp breath at the sight of crimson staining his fingers. He hadn't even made notice of the Mirror's fire dagger burning his skin. How on earth does one pull off a slice this light?

His eyes raised towards his opponent in slight shock only to find them smiling in satisfaction. Zuko ran to him again, burning pain all forgotten. The Mirror fought him with ease, with elegance. Zuko shouldn't have been surprised to see him react immediately to the attack. They were, after all, the same person, if only different versions. The version which Zuko was now trying to burn must be all too familiar with his fighting style. Even the slight faint of his left leg- a training habit Zuko acquired at an early age- the Mirror seemed to know it all. It pissed Zuko off how deliberate each movement of his seemed, how his royal attire flowed around him in grace when he swayed along with his momentum. Even the flex of his tendons around his grip of fire seemed designed to perfection. 

Zuko beat up his brain, trying to conceive an attack plan that would work on someone of the Mirror's skill, even though he wasn't sure one existed. The Mirror took advantage of the small moment of distraction and lunged. Zuko sidestepped and fell right into the opponent's trap. Instead of burning at his stomach, as Zuko had thought, the Mirror put out his dagger and looped his attacking arm around Zuko's, twisting him into a grapple. Zuko found himself facing the ground with the Mirror's body weighing on his back. He tried to slither out of the hold to no avail.

The Mirror grabbed a fistful of Zuko's hair, lifting his head off the ground just enough so he could stick a lit finger under his throat. He didn't burn Zuko. The little fire played with the tiny distance between Zuko's skin, threatening to touch but never doing so. 

"I must say, this was easier than I thought it would be. I'm quite disappointed." The Mirror taunted and Zuko bared his teeth upon realizing he sounded like Azula. 

He briefly wondered what would happen if the fire touched him and the Agni Kai ended. Would he be spat back to reality, defeated and without a single chakra unblocked? Would Aang force him to repeat the process until he managed to defeat the mirror? He shuddered at the thought. 

_Think, Zuko. Think._

_'I'm the son your father always wanted.'_

What did father always want of Zuko? It seemed he had spent his entire life searching for an answer to that question. Good was never good enough for Firelord Ozai. Zuko needed to be perfect. To be strong, obedient. To be a bending prodigy, a carbon copy of himself-

_That's it._

The Mirror was the blueprint of an excellent firebender. Perfect form, correct use of breathing techniques, not a hair out of place. And an excellent firebender doesn't need anything but his fire to fight. Meaning, the mirror wasn't trained in non-bending combat.

In a reality where Zuko was the bending prodigy his father always wished him to be, he would have never been interested in swordplay to escape his training failures. He would have never been shut down in that meeting because his father would respect him, and consequently, he would have never been sent to Pohuai, to train with the Yuyan. He wouldn't know how to aim a bow, how to set his shoulder right after it had cracked the wrong place, how to fight dirty, with teeth and claws and no warrior's high honor. 

"Well, your majesty," Zuko grunted and felt the grip on his hair tighten. "Who am I to disappoint you?"

He snapped his head back abruptly and the unsatisfactory cracking sound filled his ears. The Mirror's hold of him faltered, and Zuko didn't waste a second in turning around and launching at his rival. False tears were brimming in the Mirror's eyes, and blood ran freely from his nose, caused by the impact of Zuko's headbutt. When he tried to blindly reach for him, Zuko had already drawn out the decorative belt of his attire and used it to bind the Mirrors reaching hand in a painful angle. He hissed, the sound not reflecting the pain to its fullest. 

Zuko toppled him, sheens pressed down, bare hand around the Mirror's throat, holding his head in place. The sight of his own face twisted in anger, blood smeared all over, made Zuko's stomach churn again, but he swallowed the sensation down. He lit a fire in his free hand. Finally, after months, the action came with a sense of familiarity and not a trace of fear.

"Nice face," Zuko commented and golden eyes burned into his in response. "But I think it's missing something..."

Zuko would have done it.   
He would have pressed his hand down the Mirrors face to scar him the way he'd been scarred all those months ago. He would have done it, not out of spite, or for the sake of some sick sense of humor, but because he thought it should be done. Despite everything, his father did teach him a lesson on the day of the Agni Kai. Not the lesson he hoped to be imprinted on Zuko's mind, but something else entirely. 

And now, after months of pondering over it, after seeing what he could have become had he not been scarred on that fateful day, Zuko saw the scarring not for what it was, but what it had become. An experience. An experience which Zuko could either let haunt him forever, or use it for all its hideousness, and make something out of it. 

So yes, Zuko would have scarred the Mirror...hadn't Aang pulled him out of the meditation. 

Zuko's whole body snapped forward, taken over by a shivering feeling of his body and consciousness separating. He gasped and doubled over into a coughing fit, but despite his expectations, he didn't throw up. Aang gave him a moment to collect himself and his breath while patting a comforting hand down his back. Zuko didn't shake it off. 

He expected to be distraught, to be drenched in cold sweat, to feel sick again. On the contrary, after his coughing fit came to a stop and his heart rate returned to normal, Zuko felt...clean? He didn't have a name for the sense. It felt as though someone's hand had reached through his chest and run down his existence, but instead of horrendous, it felt soothing. It was bizarre, to say the least, but not bad...not bad at all.

"You did it," Aang confirmed and Zuko turned to look at his encouraging smile. "You're ready."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo, long time no see everyone, I hope this chapter finds you well and I apologize for the ridiculous delay. Truth be told I have been struggling with motivation recently since quarantine has been sucking out all of my energy. I'm not giving up though, not when we're so close to the end! It will just...take a while for me to put the final chapters out. Thank you ever so much for your patience and for bearing with me, it means the world to me.   
> While I'm out there conquering writer's block you can always come yell nice things at me on my tumblr (@mayotheedgelord) :))  
> May 2021 be...better


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